Have you ever...?

[Ayshela]

have you ever stuttered utter gibberish as seven completely different thoughts tried to jam their way out of your mouth at the same time?

[Ozymandias]

heard a dog belch?

 

taken your bumper to work?

 

seen a raccoon cannibal?

 

wanted to cannibalize someone?

 

peeled an air conditioner?

 

wrestled a dog?

 

had one of your favorite authors apologize to you for besmirching your name?

[reverie]

have you ever lost 8 pounds in one day only to gain it back the next?

[cryptomancer]

Ever make 'crop circles' in the grass during a training session?

 

[Disco-neck Ted]

Have you ever climbed a church?

 

Learned, amidst shifting winds, why no one pees on a brush fire to put it out?

 

Licked a petri dish full of agar and watched weird things grow?

 

Told someone in a fit of ridiculousness that a sheep's cornea will bounce only to discover that, yeah, it will?

 

Turned off your light in the depths of a cave and then sat there in utter darkness, breathing silently?

 

Had cops pointing guns at you?

 

Gone to a botanical garden and laughed because their new hybrid roses smelled just like Froot Loops?

[Quincunx]

So do frog's eyes, although I imagine that sheep eyeballs would give a better psuedo-superball effect. . .

[cryptomancer]

Have you ever gone shopping to get stuff to bake with, and realised that of the 8 items purchaced, 6 were forms of chocolate?

 

[Mynx]

Ever spent a collective 5 hours shopping for a simple work shirt and/or trousers and not found a single item that fits you?

 

Ever been in so much pain that a gentle pat on the back felt like you were being flayed?

[Ozymandias]

have you ever lost 8 pounds in one day only to gain it back the next?

 

...?!?

 

How? Did you...misplace an arifical limb, perhaps?

[cryptomancer]

 

have you ever lost 8 pounds in one day only to gain it back the next?

 

...?!?

 

How? Did you...misplace an arifical limb, perhaps?

 

I done 4kg in 2 days, thanks to some 'interesting' chicken

 

[Ayshela]

Ever been completely paralyzed by the conflicting urges to hug and throttle someone?

 

Ever gone back and found things you'd written months ago that you remembered not the first thing about? And really liked it?

 

Ever cleaned out Lucifer's tank so God could take up residence?

 

Ever been so completely exhausted that your hair hurt?

 

Ever wished you were stranded on an island solely because if you were completely alone you'd finally be able to sleep?

 

Ever been on one phone while holding two others and calling back and forth between the two you're holding to test them so you could report to the person on the OTHER phone?

[Ozymandias]

*snickers*

 

*three musketeers*

 

^^

[Mynx]

Have you ever spent three days working on some data entry

Only to have it disappear off the computer system so you have to start again?

*sighs*

[cryptomancer]

Have you ever spent half your work day calling businesses in part of the country, without realising that the reason you are getting voicemail so often is due to the fact that the region you are calling is having a local public holiday due to the anneversary of its founding, making the rest of your day pointless, because the area in question is your only sales territory?

 

 

*sighs and goes on a break*

 

[foidanslanuit]

Have you ever bitten someone in the name of world peace?

 

...or better yet, would you?

[cryptomancer]

Have you ever actually tried to write something in blood?

 

[Mynx]

Ever tasted someone else's blood?

[cryptomancer]

Ever spent a lot of time on something only to be told to stop doing it because management already had someone else doing it?

[Asmadeus]

Have you ever actually tried to write something in blood?

 

I did try to write my name with my own blood... I've ran out after like five letter, it isn't that easy to get a relyable source of blood when you want "just a bit, but no waste either"

 

Anyway...

 

Have you ever... lacked ideas on what you might have done that's not common ?

Have you ever typed on a keyboard that's WITHOUT the "a", "z", "e", and "r" keys ? (There are way too many "e", "r" and "a" in English, I'm taking hours to type a single line... At least I can think on what to write next while I focus on filling the blancs...)

[Regel]

To my friend Peredhil:

 

Have you ever thought your true nature is like the moon with a dark side and a light side? We each of us have both, a side the shines almost as brilliant as the sun and a side that the light has never touched.

 

 

To Ozymandias the Elder:

 

Have you ever driven an entire day away, because you wouldn't stop and ask for help?

 

 

To Cryptomancer:

 

Have you ever spilled so much of your own blood that you could have written a novel?

 

The answer to all of these is "I have."

 

 

Ayshela wrote:

 

Ever been completely paralyzed by the conflicting urges to hug and throttle someone?

 

Nope! I have done both.

[Ozymandias]

drank ham juice?

 

drank pickle brine?

 

drank olive brine?

 

drank tabasco sauce?

 

drank hotdog juice?

 

found that your fiancee does, in fact, taste sweetened?

 

Regel:

 

No, but I have done so for six hours.

 

Not much fun.

[Mynx]

Ever tried to buy over the counter painkillers

And nearly been denied by the chemist because your body's reaction to the pain made you look like you're on drugs?

[Ayshela]

Ever gotten a phone call from the vice principal at the high school suggesting your daughter might be on drugs because lack of sleep due to pain, and the pain, and the anti-inflammatories combined with a deep hatred of one of her classes left her "mostly comatose" in class - and of course drug use could be the only explanation...?

[cryptomancer]

Have you ever sat in an airconditioned office and stared out the window at the clear blue sky, wishing you could go to the beach?

 

[Mardrax]

Have you ever sat on the beach, looking at the blue sky with a searing sun looking back at you, wishing you could be in an airconditioned office?