Older Pen Members

[lumpenproletariat]

I'll start off by saying I have a kind of Deja-Vu by posting this...so if its been done before, you'll have to excuse me.

 

 

I've been thinking recently, and I end up thinking "..if only I knew then what I know now." At any age, like if when I was 10 i knew what I do now, I would have had a very different 8 years

 

So, almost undoubtedly, when I'm 30-40, I'll be thinking, "If only I knew then when I was 18, what I know now"

 

 

What I'm asking for, is helpful life advice. I don't need to be told that life is a waste as we try to make some impact on the world, I'm not a morbid, despressed soul who can't see clearly, I live my life for me at the moment, and I was enjoying it, until I realised the future is here (cue panic! ), so I want to know what helpful things you've picked up over the years, so I won't be left thinking "if only I knew..."

[Tyrion]

I'm older than you... Do you want my advice?

[Peredhil]

If you have questions or issues of the heart, I'm available for sounding board and suggestions - but I tailor what I say to the individual, so I'd rather not focus in specifically on you and post in public. PM me if you'd like.

 

Fair warning, much of my so-called wisdom is translating spiritual principals into common language.

 

*hugs*

 

-P

[lumpenproletariat]

I'm older than you... Do you want my advice?

chiming in with the "witty" sarcasm that I've come to know and hate!

 

Do I have to tell you to f-off at the end of every post of mine now?

[Ozymandias]

Peace Gentlemen, peace. No need for fighting.

 

On to the nitty gritty...

 

Life advice. Yoiks. Due to time constraints, I'm going to have to make my answer the Cliffs Notes version. Hope you don't mind.

 

Like Peredhil, my beliefs come from my faith, and for me the reverse is sometimes true too. Point being, the best way I can think to start is by quoting Mother Theresa:

 

'People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;

 

Forgive them anyway.

 

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

 

Be kind anyway.

 

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

 

Succeed anyway.

 

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

 

Be honest anyway.

 

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

 

Be happy anyway.

 

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

 

Do good anyway.

 

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

 

Give the world the best you've got anyway.

 

You see, in the final analysis it is between you and God;

 

It was never between you and them anyway.'

 

 

What I can say at least so far is my final analysis of life is that it's always going to have good and bad. Guaranteed. Be that inconsiderate people, spending time with loved ones, a sunny day, a mugging, a really boring day at work, whatever.

 

Anything can happen. Anything will. None of us can change that fact, but what's important is how we let each event tiny to huge affect us emotionally and mentally, and what we learn from them.

 

Lastly, the easy part for me in these twenty-four years has been figuring that out. The hard part is accepting it. Totally. I'm still working on that myself.

 

But even though you have no idea how long it will take you to understand life, or even if you ever will, just remember you've always got another chance to do it again for every time you you get it wrong until the day you die- no matter what you believe about what happens to us after death.

[Ayshela]

What do i wish i had known.. what do i wish i could have told myself when i was small... i guess it would be -

 

 

When it's good (and it will be) - enjoy it, for it won't last.

When it's bad (and it will be) - bear with it, for it won't last.

 

When it's good, share it. You never know who you'll run into who desperately needs your smile, your kindness, as all they have that day.

 

When it's bad, learn from it, then share *that*. You can't keep everyone from making the same mistakes you did, but if we all had to make every mistake there was to make we'd never get anywhere! =)

 

There will always be someone who needs what you do. You may not, however, recognize them. You may not know that you've done anything for them. That makes it no less important TO them, and far more important that you continue to honestly be who you are, live who you are.

 

If someone tells you you *can't* do something that isn't physically impossible, seriously question why they would say that.

 

Remember the cyclical nature of life.

 

Let NO one make your choices for you. Not even the "i'll kill you if you do" types. You will forever bear the responsibility for and consequences of the choices they've made for you - and there are far worse things in life than death.

 

Above all - it's *your* life. Live it.

[lumpenproletariat]

Thanks Ozy, Ayshela, Pered

 

I've already taken some of these words to heart

[X-Sabre]

Life advice?

 

Just keep going. That's it. Don't look down and don't look back. Just keep going.

 

Or, you can just not think about it too deeply, and live blindlessly like a lot of people.

 

I don't really think I should be giving advice.. In fact, I don't think I should ever answer a question similar to this again.

 

*hides from the boards for at least a week or 2 to let people forget*

[Aardvark]

If I ever got to go back and give my former self advice, I'd just give him a tape with a copy of one song

 

Not the Sunscreen song

 

John Safran

 

(To the tune of Baz Lurhman's Sunscreen song... duh)

 

If you're unsure about what you're going to do with your life,

Try to remember, some of the most interesting people didn't know

what they were going to do at age twenty-two or even at forty,

and nearly all of them are unemployed drug addicts forced to

live on cat food. Also understand that friends will come and go,

this is because of your irritating personality, nobody likes you.

So if the only thing getting you thought the day is the misconception

that people like you, end it now. (bang)

Learn how to smoke Winnie Blues, if you're under aged,

get an older kid to buy them for you.

Get to really know your parents, they're good for money,

milk them, then put them in an old people's home.

Travel as often as you can, live in New York City once,

live in Northern California once, never live in Adelaide,

It's a hole.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have

children, maybe you won't, if you do have children,

lock them under the stairs.

Do one thing each day that scares you, sing, dance,

jump in front of a car.

Do not trust anyone who tries to update Sheakespeare

for the kids, and if you see Quindon Tarver in the street,

punch him in the face for me.

 

(smack)

 

If you're worried about the way you look, try to remember,

you're probably fatter than you think, maybe you should consider

an eating disorder. Don't worry too much about the future. If

you're nervous about an exam, ring up your school to schedule

time, and make a bomb threat. If you're a girl, lie about period

pains to get out of anything you don't want to do. Cheat if you

think you can get away with it. Remember, someone with richer

parents is getting private tuition.

Shop-lift as often as you can, Shopping Centres factor shop-

lifting into their prices, so if you don't do it, it's like

they're getting money for free. When you're on work experience,

steal a cab-charge, and take a Taxi to Perth.

Wear sunscreen, but only if it's that coconut oil that gives

you cancer. Keep your old love letters, if you see an old lover

in the street, try to run them over in your car.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or else by the time you're

thirty-five, you'll look like Greg Matthews.

Remember you can wear your underwear four times without

washing them, Forwards, Backwards, inside-out Forwards,

inside-out Backwards.

 

 

 

(bang bang bang bang)

 

Congregate in gangs around train stations and shopping centres,

it's a free country, It's public space. Skateboard on War Memorials.

Smoke in your School uniform.

Set off car alarms.

Plant Drugs on a teacher.

Join a cult.

Spike Drinks.

Don't flush public toilets.

Remember, only you will truly take care of you,

so carry a concealed weapon.

Don't wear your 'P' plates.

Walk around with your eye lids rolled back.

Touch your tongue on the tip of batteries.

Be open to new love.

Remember, you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex.

Expect others to support you, it's easy to get the dole

and still do cash in hand work.

Respect your elders, when your grandma dies, have her stuffed.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when you're knee

capped by a loan shark.

Get revenge, don't forgive anyone for anything,

But most of all, don't aim too high, you're probably only

suited to an office or factory job.

Edited December 23, 2003 by Aardvark

[lumpenproletariat]

When I hear the name John Safran, one thing sticks out

 

"down, down, down, down to Jew Town..."

[The Big Pointy One]

Although I've only got a couple years on ye, friend, I'd like to think I've learned so much in these past years. Here's a few tidbits that come to mind.

 

Everyone is different, no matter how much they have in common. The best way to deal with that is by agreeing to disagree. (Because problems usually arise due to people's differences) I've found that people have a hard time accepting the fact that not everyone want to live life the same way as them. Not only that, there's a lot of people who have a hard time accepting change. People change, lives change, situations change. It's a necessary part of life that should be accepted and dealt with accordingly. Above all though, I've found that 99% of the time, the best thing to do is what your instinct tells you, (Or your heart, or your brain, or whatever it that drives you) even if no one thinks it's the right thing. They may be right, but everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes mistakes are necessary. It's easy to learn from mistakes.

 

Oh yeah, and don't forget: Invest! Save up some money, however much you feel you can save up. Then, take it to the bank, and open some sorta long-terms saving account. It may sound stupid, or redundant, whatever, but it's a good idea! If you can manage to add a few bucks to that every month, and basically forget its there, you'll find yourself with a whole crapload of money for those tightspots down the road. I haven't had to crack my savings yet, and I hope I don't soon, but I'm glad they're there.

 

[Lady Celes Crusader]

The catch with advise is that you're free to follow it or not. Indeed, some advice might look silly at first glance but they are full of wisdom behind it.

 

But if there's one advice that I must give you is to be honest with yourself.

[Ozymandias]

For the record- Ayshela said it much better than I did.

[Ayshela]

*blush*

 

*dang, i need a blushing smiley*

=)

[Cheyenne]

Although most would say to follow your head and not your heart...I say follow your instinct as it will most often prove to be the best way to go. When one (atleast myself) has tried to be rational I feel like hell yet when I go with the heart, I usually end up thinking..."what the hell was I thinking" so even though I know many may disagree, gut instinct has always been a way of survival for me.

 

Just my 2 cents anyway.

[Cheyenne]

Oh yeah, the g-spot is not a myth. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[lumpenproletariat]

Oh yeah, the g-spot is not a myth. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

oh gee thanks Cheyenne...not exactly what I was looking for, but thanks all the same ;P

 

(the prior post helps a bit more)

 

/lumpen

[Peredhil]

Peredhil laughs in delight at seeing Cheyenne and her saucy wit once more, and stands chortling,

 

That's it James! Cheyenne has it! (But belongs to Doc Weir.)

 

The Search for the Holy G-

 

His sons drag him away before he can finish proposing a quest...

[Quincunx]

another Legion Anti-Legion Thoughtware 2000 collar bites the dust. . .

 

I was going to add that the best advice probably sounds like lunacy to you now, being of a different and higher wisdom, but after that series of posts, I fear to say it.

[Aardvark]

Don't keep us hanging, out with it woman

[Madoka]

Hmm, my advice? Ok, for what it's worth, anyway:

 

1. When the entire team asks you to play baseball... play baseball

 

2. Most things in life come with certain conditions or catches. The best things in life come with the conditions all listed out beforehand so you know what you're getting. The worst things fall below that.

 

3. Those SlimFast diet plans mean you drink 1 500mL glass of reconstituted shake for breakfast, another one for lunch, and then you can have a salad for dinner. Still hungry? Drink some more reconstituted shakes.

 

4. When a good-looking woman says "Not tonight, honey, I'm tired" to you, it means: 1. she's REALLY tried or 2. you better come up with something quick to atone for your sins.

 

5. Most woman prefer to spit and not swallow. Be kind, gentlemen, and remember that.

 

Madoka.

[Salinye]

Well, I think I may add things to this thread in increments as they come to me if that's alright with you, James. :0)

 

First off, I truly believe in the saying, "If you love someone and you tell them, you might get your heart broken, but if you don't tell them you might break theirs." If you love someone, tell them. Always. Not just romantic love either. It can never hurt, only help.

 

Secondly, if we are speaking of romantic affairs of the heart, I would not classify the purpose as being to find someone you can live with, it is to find someone you can't live without.

 

I'm a firm believer the leading cause of divorce and break up is selfishness. If people were more selfless with each other, marriages would be more of what they should be.

 

Another thing, I really wish I could have learned earlier to truly not care what people think of me and that what *I* think they will think of me had no bearings on my decisions and/or choices. I know a lot of people *SAY* they don't care what people think of them, but it's rarely true. There are usually only a handful of people who's opinions REALLY should be weighed before you decide things. Even then, it's probably only for certain things.

 

Kindness goes a long ways. It is true that you'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar or however you say that. People are so mean to each other these days. I'm not sure if it's because they are truly mean, or the habits are just so engrained that it's just their way of life now. Be different, be nice. Why not?

 

Another thing, back up in the relationship category. Don't settle. I believe any two good people could probably make a marriage work, but it could be SO much better if the two people are truly, madly, deeply in love. I'm not saying my marriage would equal bliss for everyone like it does for us, but I do wish that everyone could find the kind of uncondional happiness and love in a companion that I have found. Don't settle. Not even to spare someone's feelings. YOu're not doing them a favor by marrying them just not to hurt their feelings.

 

One thing I wish I could teach myself and all people is this. (Yes, I am teaching my children this principle.) Don't feel odd with your differences. EMBRACE them. I'm serious. Learn to embrace the things that are naturally unique about you. Sometimes the things that are unique about us are not trendy or cool or whatever, but embrace them! They are you! Being able to embrace your oddities is always cool. Think back to the people you've always enjoyed the most, you'll see I'm right. Also, confidence is sexy. Believe me. I've been hit on WAY more since I've been married then I was when I was single, and I think it's soley a confidence thing. I'm comfortable with who I am and happy. That confidence radiates.

 

Now, I add a disclaimer. I'm not miss THANG and all confident. I have my hang ups like anyone, but I'm much more comfortable in my life now then I ever was before, and I think that just sort of takes on an aura around a person. People are drawn to people who are comfortable with themselves. I have a ways to go, but it's a neat growing path!

 

Hmmm, what else....Try hard to see people for who they are and not for who they are trying to be.

 

One thing I found extremely life changing was to take a hard examination of myself and pinpoint my weaknesses. Then I made it a goal to try to turn those weaknesses into strengths. It's an ongoing process, but very helpful.

 

Also, this is very important. Do NOT compare your weaknesses to other people's strenghts. People tend to do this. They notice the things they don't like about themselves and compare themselves with people who have those areas as strengths. It's just a bad self depleting habit! Don't do it!

 

SENSE OF HUMORE SENSE OF HUMOR SENSE OF HUMOR!

 

K, I'm sure I have more, I'll post them later. Not sure if any of this helps, but you got ramblings from this "older Pen Member" none the less! *hugs James*

 

~Salinye

[Madoka]

I remembered receiving the following in my email inbox from my friend a few months ago that fits nicely into this occassion:

 

As I've Matured...

 

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...

 

I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

 

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

 

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

 

I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

 

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

 

I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

 

I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.

 

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

 

I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

 

I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.

 

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

 

I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

 

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

 

I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

 

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

 

I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

 

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.

 

 

I thought it was great.

 

Madoka.

[Peredhil]

After getting starry-eyed over Salinye's wisdoms, Peredhil begins laughing helplessly at the "Now for something completely different" alternative...

[Ayshela]

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.

oh, this is sooo soooo true!!

 

One very very important point i neglected to mention before -

Don't be afraid of looking silly to others. Go stomp in the puddles with the kids, have a snowball fight, splash in the waves, play hopscotch, whatEVER "silly" and "immature" harmless amusement you're sharing with someone at the moment. There's little better to lift your spirits than a bit of harmless silliness, and *those* are the moments you'll look back at and giggle over later. Heck, some of the best conversations i've ever had as an adult were carried on while swinging slowly at the park. And can't you just imagine the looks we got.. LOL