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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Peredhil

Polite Ancient Elder
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Everything posted by Peredhil

  1. Wow. Just wow. Gut-poetry. Nicely done; good to see you post again.
  2. Peredhil wanders in and takes a seat quietly Hello old friend, welcome back home to the Keep. Still keen of mind, they sit in comfortable silence, only the flash of their eyes revealing a deeper communication of thought.
  3. Interesting. Paragraphing would make a smoother read, helping to break it up for the visually impaired.
  4. I really enjoy this. Well done.
  5. Right forum, and we'll done. Welcome back.
  6. Peredhil

    Crazy ?

    This type of crazy belongs here at the Pen!
  7. Good use of line breaks to imply punctuation. Nicely crafted free-form
  8. Peredhil

    Thulians

    I do like the variety and complexity of your world-building. It's nice to see the rules of logic applied to a fantasy universe. That concept is the core of my FARS system.
  9. When the madness overcame you, we all danced in a giddy joy, No more peeping out the veiled view, slowly separating alloy; We boldly taking turns at staring you down, splinters in silvered panes of glass. You fought for the surface - struggled not to drown, we won when combining en masse. Each jagged sliver life now, your sanity we overthrew, Personality? And how! When the madness overcame you. First line - In odd we place our trust
  10. Peredhil falls about laughing. I like it.
  11. Peredhil

    Immanence

    smiles happily and murmurs, "I've missed this..."
  12. It is a bit like a Nordic chant, but you lost the 3/4/3/4 syllable count a few times. "She stares, whimpers" is a correct four count, but something about the plural leaves the tongue in the wrong mouth placement to feel comfortable. I'm not certain of a fix, perhaps changing out the "she" to allow a singular active phrase. [x] stare, whimper. Hmmm, Maybe it's the soft syllables of whimper after the hard stare. *Polite Hugs* Good to see you
  13. Peredhil

    Perfume

    I simply love your twisty writing. You write well, and keep me guessing.
  14. I was gearing up and being active when unemployed. I'm sorry I've become effectively absent now that I have a job - IT customer support, which I love. Computers are evil, and I get paid to make people's days go better. Marriage with Mynx is a daily feast of joy, to which I devote much attention. She is willing for me to be online more, but hey, dating won her heart, so why stop just because we married?
  15. Epic imagery. Reminds me a bit of Roger Zelazny in a way. The near total lack of punctuation is deliberate, yes? I take it to indicate the constant stream of thoughts of a brain too awake in a body too tired to sleep.
  16. Peredhil

    Grown up talk

    *hug cuddle acceptance*
  17. Peredhil

    HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    Thank you! *Polite hugs* Happy happy to you all. I enter the New Year with a new job! I'm looking forward to my first paycheck with anticipations - I'll get to buy shinies for my Beloved Mynx!
  18. Peredhil

    Loose

    The first two lines resonate. After that, it's just good poetry. Sorry, I thought much more sentence than I typed!
  19. Peredhil

    Loose

    Wow... That really resonates for Mynx and I. Plus I've missed you. *Polite happy Appy huggles*
  20. Good stuff. I do like the choice of words, and the way they fit the rhythm.
  21. Time flies, All wibbly wobbly insects, bursting forth in all directions by the billions, Tiny fragments that appear coherent and linear But Each moving to its own destiny With the power of ten billion butterfly sneezes interacting, changing, mutating, timey whimey buzzing units of time. We only see one direction on the fourth dimension But it really moves in all axises. I'm so pleased to read the creativity in this thread! Y'all are wonderful. And Mardax and Appy sightings! Yay! First line: Yellow grass hides under white snow
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