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Snypiuer

Bard
  • Content Count

    558
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Snypiuer last won the day on May 28

Snypiuer had the most liked content!

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14 Posts Appreciated

1 Follower

About Snypiuer

  • Rank
    Demi-God of Suicide Squirrel Squadrons

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://themightypen.net
  • ICQ
    0

Profile Information

  • Location
    Over here. NO! Over HEERRRE!!

Previous Fields

  • Feedback Level
    With a heavy, blunt object.
  • Pen Job(s)
    Near-do-well and absentee lay-about.
  • Usual Preferred Feedback (Stories)
    Minor feedback
  • Usual Preferred Feedback (Poems)
    Minor feedback

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  1. And so it came to pass, the High and Mightiness, Great Lord lumlum, slid down from the lushy exorbitance of the Grand Barcalounger of All Imaginable Reslacksation and muttered unto the scattered masses, "hear me, hear me! But listen not . . . for I have had a Delirium. An apocalyptic dream of Universal Sanity. The future shadow of All, joyfully reveling in the comfort of false security . . . gleefully binding itself in the chains of subjugation unto the Powers That Be . . . hurriedly scurrying about, fulfilling the will of their betters, in order to appease them . . . only so they may, willfully, hold out their hands to receive their Masters blessings." The Great Lord lumlum looked about at the scattered masses and shouted, "SHE FLEES! SHE FLEES!" . . . not a single head turned . . . nor an ear perked in curiosity. The Great Lord lumlum wept, "she flees . . . our Beloved . . . she flees . . . she shall be missed . . . even if watching her walk away is such a gorgeous sight." And so it was that the Age of Wonder and Confusion, the Last Age of Greatness, came to an end and the Age of Willful Ignorance and Conformity dawned. Sanity and peace reigned among the sedated masses as individualism and, unsanctioned, creativity were wiped away by invisible Agencies of Secret Universal Conglomeration. *Taken from a remnant, of a scrap, of one of the Forbidden Midnight Epistles of Sean the Heretic to His Unenlightedness, Sean the Heretic, found scribbled, haphazardly on the back of a torn, discarded pop-tart wrapper.*
  2. A melancholy plum ponders its plight, deep within a Christmas pie. It silently shrieks in terror as his world opens to the sky. An endless scream of pain escapes his breathless lungs as a thumb pierces his eye. His last thoughts were the words of his god "What a good boy am I." Next line: If I were to taste the tears of eternity
  3. Snypiuer

    VIRUS

    A horde of, what APPEARS to be, Minions and Oompa Loompas have been sighted, fastidiously, sanitizing and disinfecting the ENTIRETY of the Keep of the Pen is Mightier than the Sword and it's Realm of Existence. SOOOO, all of you social distancing and self quarantining have NO reason to avoid visiting the Pen!
  4. Wait. . . WHO told you about Albuquerque!?! I will say this, like all Religions, the ideas put forth here are close. But, merely shadows of the truth. If I can EVER get myself to not be so unmotivated, I'll explain it someday. I'll leave you with this, your major problem is your belief in time, which does NOT exist.
  5. Snypiuer

    MAJOR NEWS!!!

    Every time I read this, I get sad. They put out ONE issue and that's it. Their site says they'll be back, but nothing so far. I was so excited too😢.
  6. Snypiuer: I’m going to get a shirt made that says, “The Problem with Millennials: My 6 year old niece BULLIES her Millennial cousin”(tm) Millennial: But she’s REALLY mean to me. Niece: Suck it up, buttercup! Millennial: SEE! Snypiuer: Let’s go get an ice cream kid. Millennial: Yay! Niece: He’s talking to me. Millennial: (Sad) oohhh..... Snypiuer: I weep for the future. (walks away) Niece: HEY! You’re getting me that ice cream!
  7. O.K., just saw Christopher Robin. My review? Go watch it. Did Snypiuer cry? No. Snypiuer has allergies. Get extra napkins with your popcorn, movie theaters are VERY dusty.
  8. I was out of town a while back and was watching one of the news channels, can’t remember which one but, they were doing a story on internet security. One of the people they interviewed was connected to top secret military research, like skunk works, and they asked him how they protect their work and he said they don’t save to computers, they keep everything on hard copy and secured physically under gaurd. This isn’t what caught my attention. They asked him what kind of things they considered valuable enough to treat this way and he mentioned things like propulsion systems, stealth tech and, this is what made me go “wwhhaaAAA!?!?!?”, gravity resistant material. He then quickly rattled off a few more, like energy efficient engines and such, as if he suddenly realized he needed to take the focus off of the GRAVITY RESISTANT MATERIAL remark! I just sat there and waited...and waited...and NOT ONCE did the interviewer ask, “Excuse me, did you say GRAVITY RESISTANT MATERIAL!?” NOT. ONCE!!! I know, maybe he meant light wieght material for parachutes or airplane bodies. NO! Anyways, I’m pretty sure I’ll be placed on ANOTHER top secret govt. watch list for this post. Oh well.
  9. *puff...puff.........cough...COUGH* DUUUDDDE! Did you know that they have a car that runs on water!? WATER! But the government is suppressing the technology, man! Wait. Did you hear that? Ha-ha-ha...what? Oh yeah, DUUUDDDE! Did you know that they have a car that runs on water!?
  10. Snypiuer notices the clown suit appear on him and he begins to panic. Is he NOT performing the ancient, arcane “Banishment of Evil, Invisible Clowns” ritual correctly!? He WAS properly nekkid and he WAS waving his arms wildly above his head as he ran around setting wards - yet, HOW had one of his most vile enemies been able to, not only, by-pass those wards, but somehow ENGULFED him! Snypiuer begins screaming in abject terror as he waves his arms even more wildly above his head as he, frantically, runs faster in an attempt to make the magic ritual work!
  11. Not realizing he’s not as alone at the Pen as he believes himself to be, a nekkid Snypiuer (arms held high and waving wildly) sprints past the Tavern's’ open door.
  12. Very moving. I, for a moment, caught the sent of fresh peppers and foilage as the image of a small woman weaving through a dense garden flashed ( again, for just a moment) through my mind. These are the kind of memories we should all hope our loved ones keep of us. Thank you for sharing this.
  13. The time will come, when I no longer allow the Gods to rely upon their immortallity. I shall deny them their omnipotence and take from them the faith which sustains them. They will be cast down and judged. As they had judged. Had they adhered to the Laws I handed down to them, so long ago? The scales of justice shall weigh their fate. Those found to have stayed true will ascend to my Kingdom, to live, eternally, by my side. The others shall become mortal, to live out their lives amongst the many others who have failed, and fallen from my Grace.
  14. Snypiuer

    MAJOR NEWS!!!

    OMNI is back. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, know that those who do, have already stopped reading and are breaking traffic laws as they speed to find as many copies to buy as they can. OMNI is a magazine that you HAVE to read. It’s science, futurist, sci-fi and more. Looks like it will be quaterly. Run out and buy it ASAP. This magazine is on my list, right up there with D&D, The Dancing Wu Li Masters, Tolkien, Willy Wonka, Star Wars, Mickey Rooney Boys Town and Andy Hardy movies, Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday, Dragonlance, Villains by Necessity, Silver Call series, the Final Cut, Wizards, Harold and Maude, Rick and Morty, Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser, Descendents Weinerschnitzel, I can go on but I’ll stop here. Buy a copy!
  15. OZY!!! I swear, that's how the theme was labeled when I down loaded it. GREAT TA SEE YA!!!
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