My friend you have a wonderful story being created here!!! I love the character, the detail!! I'm not to well when it comes to grammar and spelling so I cannot help you with that, I’m sorry. However I do love that past and present come together, it seems that is what you are doing anyway. I like that Jenna is not quickly to believe in what is going on, that she is defiant, her reactions are well done. Max seems to be... I think his character needs to be a bit more developed, I'm not getting too much of who he is, but I think it's a good start I would like to see more of Max's character latter on. As far as improvement, I would say, "I would really like to know what is happening!!!" then again it is a story and everything cannot be revealed just yet. I don't see anything that you need to work on as of right now besides Max, like I said. My mane thing is that you and I seem to have similarities in our writing style, I like that a lot!!! I can relate to what you are saying/writing, I can read it very easily and I enjoy doing so. I hope I have helped you, I'm not sure if I did. If you have any specific questions on a paragraph or something you would like for me to look at by all means tell me and I'll do what I can for you my friend.