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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Did you think? A Song of Self


Peredhil

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Hey hey whatcha doin' where ya goin'?

I see you've got that beginning gleam again.

A new start, a new job, a new friend?

And how do you think this one will end?

 

You've such high hopes you always do

When you start it's all brand new

But once fresh bloom is faded

You're just stuck, bored and jaded.

 

Did you think it would be different this time?

Did you think it wouldn't be the same?

Did you think you could live without drama?

Did you think you could be real without the pain?

 

"Insanity is doing it all over again and again

But expecting different results" they say

If you won't change the view of yourself

Youl fail over and over each grinding day.

 

Hey Hey so wise for other you oh so calm

I see you've got new ring in your palm

How long 'till you blame your golden toy

When a small speck mars your joy?

 

It's like you need permission to fail

You're trapped in expectation jail.

Perfection's lack isn't a crime

but you give up all the time.

 

Did you think it would be different this time?

Did you think it wouldn't be the same?

Did you think you could be equal with others?

Did you think you won't go lookin' for shame?

 

Hey I think your standards are so high

So that you can be sure you gonna crash.

Hey I think that if you need to cry and whine

You'll drive all others away at the last.

 

So you feel you need more praise than most?

Why can't you accept it graceously then?

If all you do is complain or boast

You'll spin in the rutted circles, but then --

 

Did you think it would be different this time?

Did you think it wouldn't be the same?

Did you think others gonna change for you?

Did you really think you could win this game?

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That's good. It shows, once again, that wherever you go, there you are. All those expectations projected onto everything else - but they come from YOU...

 

It looks pointed more toward marriage, but I think it holds truth for any 'relationship'. If only Osama, Saddam and George could have this conversation... <_>

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Marriage, Work, Parenting, Friendships, Acquantances, Everquest and its Guilds, the Pen, IRC...

 

Where ever I go, there I am... Funny how the same tempations to fail trail with me like too heavy an application of a cheap cologne.

The realization that in my mind I've failed when others haven't even noticed or expect a certain amount of bobbles was a lightbulb to me. Even though I've pointed it out to others...

The realization that in my mind I feel as when I start something, if I work really hard I'll get all the attention and support as the squeaky wheel in the section - and then I don't with the resultant disappointment... helped me to realize I need to be more assertive of my needs without excusing them, or going overboard into aggression. As I've preached to others....

 

The realization that I preach wisdom to others so often that I should be applying to myself...

but that on the other hand, I'll never be perfect enough to preach to others so I can't use it as an excuse to be 'me first' in an endless perfection chase.

 

Sigh

 

Realizations. Bleh. Necessary to growth but icky to feel.

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Wow. This poem/song (it's both, in my mind) REALLY applies to me and the people I know, if not all of us. I feel this one a lot, and many of the folks I know not only seem to be this way, they refuse to acknowledge it as well. Again, wow...

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I read this and it was like... "What are you doing reading my mind?" The person being addressed is so much like me... it's not even funny. Always expecting perfection of myself... hoping for recognition or praise...

 

Very nice. Glad to know I'm not the only one. Also glad to know I'm not the only one here to play Everquest. :lol:

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I like Wren's comment-- I get a fatherly aura from this. A fine song. Makes me think of the Jellyfish (the band not the sea creatures). So nice to read you again Peredhil, but sad to hear that things aren't improving. I look forward to reading more of you, as always.

 

-Icarus

 

P.S. Sorry for unintentionally hogging Poetic Justice, I'll return it as soon as I can.

Edited by SoaringIcarus
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  • 5 months later...

Begins laughing

 

Heh, I didn't know anyone knew I wrote something OTHER than poems. :P

 

I was surprised to see some of my works from the past, and pleased people still find them meaningful.

 

puts on his Almost Dragonic brand running shoes to go chase his Muse and stands a while trying to figure out how to use the rocket propulsion feature.

 

With a sudden enlightenment, he flicks his zippo and lights the short fuse sticking from the back of each shoe...

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  • 2 months later...

This was called back to my attention...

Thanks? I think...

 

Hey hey whatcha doin' where ya goin'?

You've got that beginning gleam again.

What's it - new start, new job, new friend?

So how ya thinkin' this one'll end?

 

You've such high hopes - you always do

'Cause when you start it's all brand new

But when your fresh new bloom is faded

Once again you're bored and jaded.

 

Did you think it'd be different this time?

Did you think it'd not be the same?

Do you think you could live without the drama?

Do you think you'd be real without the pain?

 

"Insanity is doin' it over and over again

But expecting different results" and then -

Cryin' when you won't change your view of self

To find you disappoint again when they pick you

from

the

shelf.

 

 

Hey Hey so wise for others and you're so calm

I see you've gotta shiny new ring on your palm

How long 'till you're blamin' your new golden toy

When you find that small speck marring your joy?

 

It's like you're needin' permission to fail

You're trapped in that "expectations" jail.

Your head's sayin' "perfection's lack is not a crime -

but your heart's givin' it up all the time!

 

Did you think it'd be different this time?

Did you think it'd not be the same?

Do you think you'll be equal with the others?

Do you think you can stop lookin' for the shame?

 

Hey I think your standards are too high to last

Just so that you can be sure you're gonna crash.

Hey I'm thinkin' if you need to cry and whine

You'll drive the others away

one

more

time.

 

So you're feelin' you're needin' more praise than most?

When all you do is complain, hide or boast?

If you're needin' badly why don't you just accept it graceously?

Or are you gonna live in rutted circles endlessly?

 

Did you think it'd somehow be different this time?

Didn't you realize it will always be the same?

If you're gonna wait on others changin' you,

Do you think you will ever win this game?

 

Did you really think it would be different this time?

Did you really think it wouldn't turn out the same?

You'd better start a-lookin' at yourself

Quit that lookin' at others, sharin' blame.

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And so you just go on

Thinkin' things'll last

Tryin' to put the show on

Pretendin' you got no past.

 

Just remember when you're winnin'

And think those haunts won't return

The world will keep on spinnin'

Even if you crash and burn.

 

So slow it down, speed demon

This ain't no race to run

Try your hand at slip streamin'

Follow one course until it's done.

 

You can't know that you've tried

Won't know if you'd win

If you keep turning tail to hide

Stoppin' where the map reads "begin".

 

Wage your bets with education

Then let your money sit

Every course takes dedication.

You think you're ready to give it?

 

Wisdom offered is little gift

If you can't swallow your own prescription.

Heed your words and make a shift

To rein your plans in one direction.

 

Little difference do my words mean

Especially if you know my past

My boat keeps floating down that stream

But I'm grabbing an ore and plodding fast.

 

When courses traveled have gone by

Hopefully we can each profess

That we each found the strength to try

Travelin' a single road to happiness.

 

----------------

 

Peredhil, I hope you don't mind me piggy-backing on your work. I didn't manage your level of artistry with it, but I found inspiration in your words.

 

I think I almost prefer it's original state save for the changes in the 3rd stanza, however, both of them are powerfully written and I thank you for sharing them with us... and sharing again. :)

 

-Illi

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