Tattered

Why do I feel this way without fail? Why cannot redemption prevail? What is my defect, my mortal weakness too strong. I wish I were perfect, yet at every turn I'm wrong. What are these powers that would keep me chained? All of the hours of each day I live in vain. Nothing and no one can free from the cold. All of the avenues for healing growing old. It's something inside of me that begs defeat. This awful part of me that won't retreat. I try to ruin you and destroy us, push you away. So the pain won't hurt so much when you can't stay. I will just tell myself it's better this way. I will just convince myself I never loved you anyway. These demons inside of me won't let me be. The child within my soul longs to be set free.

I submit to my defeat. When it comes to you and me. I've tried and tried, yet I just cannot compete. Tourment lies in the thought of you and her and her and her. I want to crawl under a rock and hide. If only we could be like that too. Passionless, how can this be, when our love is strong? Yet half of me is empty, longing. Heaven why must you punish me? In dark quite corners of my mind. Something is sturring, fantasy begins to die. Is this a return Aura of some kind? What have I done to desreve this lot? I suddenly remember the signs I ignored. The importance of listening, I forgot. I have no inspiration. I'm under so mcuh pressure, I have no relief. Extacy expiration. Did I do something wrong? Nothing is quite right. I feel so sad, ashamed, and worthless. I've been a fool all along.

THANK YOU for your complete analysis Parmenion! I do feel good about this piece but you just flattered me more than I may deserve. Thanks for your comments and critiques.

So this is a sort of re-work of a previous piece. I was going on some critques that I received. Let me know what you think. Motionless so as not to upset the bruises. Body aches from a dangerous cycle, everybody loses. Sadness enters, followed by great anger. Child to Mother never protected by those who're said to love her. Every joy, every success chokes for air. Like a flame under foot - you like to see me there. Your way is the only way, I have no worth. Question me, you never believed in me. Father, King of Hurt. Loveless life of fear and negativity: The life you lived and know so well. This your gift? Your legacy? Mothers 3, that never loved me. Neglected and forsaken bordering insanity. Lesson - Beauty’s skin deep. One who left and abandoned me Two who harmed and hated me Three’s a charm, and charmed she did, Till truth arrived in perfect form With boundless fury, no one can rid. YOU’RE the artist of what you live. Blame the man blame the moon but Life delivers what you give. She’s friendless, selfish, blind and unfair. Yet skilled, and deep - a perfect friend Until you near the heart, beware! It’s no wonder, to him I cleaved 8 years of sorrow, disappointment and grief I had no view of what life could be. Disassociation was my saving grace. Guardian Angels and God filled the empty space. Somewhere along the road of a wounded life, Beyond tragedy, trial and err, I found my way into the light. My flame does shine from time to time. In stormy wind I may flicker and fade Yet still I stand - a burning witness for faith.

Wow....Yes *clap clap clap* That was so intense. I am not sure what to think. You just captured what so many young girls feel. Young...lol...I am still young too. Anyway... So, she was down on herself for no reason? She imagined she was looked at negatively by others? She was dissillusioned by the image in the mirror? The human brain is a wonder. Why do we tourture ourselves? Well done.

WHAT!@##$?! I LOVED IT!....I smiled the whole way through. It's like...life SUCKS...and it get's worse. You poked fun and you cracked me up! That was great. That was very creative and not the typical list of bad fortune, it's mixed with nonsensical ideas and funny unexpected comments. I may be a little crazy, but I think a person who can "loathe" a little bit in a comical manner, deserves proper credit. BTW my friends and I call it "loathing" when bad things happen and we just have to laugh at things...in life that aren't funny till they're over and re-told.

First of all, I love this title. Maybe I am sentimental and a wuss, but I am touched by your words. I cried. My brother also died, when he was 15. Isn't it always the case?...we blame ourselves, even a little...it's like a reaction...what could I have done more? Most death is preventable....right? Well I felt your pain. Inspiration comes in the hardest times. You've done a beautiful tribute.

How's that Parmenion and Quincunx? Does that balance it out? Paint a picture? Answer some questions? Add depth? What do you think?

Motionless so as not to upset the bruises. Body aches from a dangerous cycle, everybody looses. Sadness enters, followed by great anger. Child to Mother never protected by those who're said to love her. Every joy, every success chokes for air. Like a flame under foot - you like to see me there. Your way is the only way, I have no worth. Question me, you never believed in me. Father, King of Hurt. Loveless life of fear and negativity: The life you lived and know so well. This your gift? Your legacy? Mothers 3, that never loved me. Neglected and forsaken bordering insanity. Lesson - Beauty’s skin deep. One who left and abandoned me Two who harmed and hated me Three’s a charm, and charmed she did, Till truth arrived in perfect form With boundless fury, no one can rid. YOU’RE the artist of what you live. Blame the man blame the moon but Life delivers what you give. She’s friendless, selfish, blind and unfair. Yet skilled, and deep - a perfect friend Until you near the heart, beware! It’s no wonder, to him I cleaved 8 years of sorrow, disappointment and grief I had no view of what life could be. Disassociation was my saving grace. Guardian Angels and God filled the empty space. Somewhere along the road of a wounded life, Beyond tragedy, trial and err, I found my way into the light. My flame does shine from time to time. In stormy wind I may flicker and fade Yet still I stand - a burning witness for faith.

If you are anything like me...which no one is I am sure....but if you were....you would think too hard and come up dry...Sometimes the answers are simple...and in plain sight! lol.

The first one strikes me the thought of...fear of the unknown. The survival instinct. No one really knows where life leads and what will come of them. The second part is so common as well. Meaning that remorse, those unforgiving memories that haunt us. It's the advisary trying to shackle us with guilt and self hate. Forgivness is the only way to life. Sounds lonely. Sounds like me. However the sea is not empty. The sea is FULL of life. I think that the good is always there, underneath...waiting for discovery. But the efforts of life just weaken our attempts to find joy and peace and wholeness....

I like it. I feel the pain as I read it. I can relate.

Sounds like you sacrafice yourself for the needs of someone else. Although this may bring you purpose and momentary satisfaction...you may end up more lost and empty in the end. I think friends sometimes use each other. The users need to be made aware of your needs and exsistance. They may not realize their affect on you.

Finding out who you are is a lifelong struggle. I have found that who I am is infact pieces of everyone I've known...everyone who has affected me. It's all wrapped up into the person I am. Who you are grows...changes...hopefully evolves and advances. Life and trials help determine a person. Your reactions may even surprise you at times. I struggle with who I am and who I want to become...everyday.

I suffer in silence barely alive. Sitting away the day in morbid stillness waiting... Watching and wishing the days' passing into night. Nothing but the squelching heat, to acompany my sadness and discontent. Staring... Trying to sleep my restless body. Shut my eyes. Sleepless nights, sleepless days. Like the cruelest torture imaginable. Tossing... Too hot, too cold, discomfort all around. God help me. Just another usless day, same as last. Everyday fails to improve, stuck in a paradox. Loneliness... Forced smiles to comfort little ones. Living dead. Feels like a low blow just below the rib cage, no air to rejuvenate, only breathlessness. Exhaustion... Better off trying to climb out a deep pit than recover. Loveless, lifeless, feelingless, disconnected. Short on breath... Short on happiness... Shortage all around. Deep heart ache, from where it originates...no one can tell. [EDIT: I saw an orphaned center tag so I centered the poem. If that wasn't your intent, I'll change it back. --Tzimfemme/Quincunx]