Yui-chan Posted August 26, 2004 Report Share Posted August 26, 2004 ... and as they were flying high over the palm-tree canopy of the jungle, Melvin felt a tingle that began in his eyestalks and radiated down to his slimy little tail. Suddenly, poof, he was human again and screaming like a little girl with her pigtails caught in Big Billy Beefcake's fat fists as he and his overburdened bird escort plunged like fallen stars towards the vegetation-crowded ground below. ... meanwhile, Vinnie was happily sliming his way across his imitation-meat-substitute McDonald's hamburger when poof, he found himself refreshingly human again, crouched on the cheap plastic table. Blinking in bewilderment, he reached up to pluck the sauce-laden bun from his head just as Wendy beside him covered her eyes and screamed, "No shirt, no shoes, no PANTS, no service! OUT! OUT!" It happened so fast that Vinnie didn't even figure out what had upset her until the McD's security guards threw him bodily out the door. As he scraped across the sidewalk, the sting of the asphalt revealed to him in unpleasant ways that not only was he human again, but he was also butt nekkid. >_ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayshela Posted August 27, 2004 Report Share Posted August 27, 2004 The mutual screams of the two shifted their dream reality once more, gently depositing their nekkid bodies on warm sandy beaches surrounded by beautiful bikini clad women paying them very VERY close attention. This would be good, except... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canid Posted August 28, 2004 Report Share Posted August 28, 2004 ..for the fact that they were still bright purple, and THAT was the reason the women were looking so closely. A young seabird perched on Melvin's head looked around excitedly. "Wow! They've never done THAT before!" it said in perfect English. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regel Posted August 28, 2004 Report Share Posted August 28, 2004 O.C.C. : Bright purple skin and a paper note on my back with the words "Weinie!" is how I feel most days anyway so .... Melvin thought to himself "I must be having an acid flash back, I could swear I hear that seagull talking.". Vinnie looked at Mevin and said".. at least we don't eat trash and shit on windshields. Stupid talking shithawk!" "You heard that?" asked Melvin. "Of course." quiped Vinnie. "Like they have never seen bright red skin before!" Melvin looked incredulously at Vinnie and said " We're bright purple man!" "Hot chicks in bikinis always do that to me." smiled Vinnie. Melvin was about to fire off a verbal dart at his purple friend but the words died in his open mouth as he look in awe and amazement at the vision that approached. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted August 28, 2004 Report Share Posted August 28, 2004 Note: written as a continuation of Ayshela's post, purple skin detail briefly editted in for more accuracy. ... for the looming and ominous presence that slowly makes its way across the gentle sands, shifting through the crowds of babes and moving towards their inert forms. Melvin and Vinnie shake their heads in a mixture of diziness and disbelief as they slowly regain consciousness, then turn to one another and smile. Pointing a finger at Melvin and giggling madly, Vinnie exclaims: "Gee, I thought you were a goner Melv! That Wendy sure packs a punch huh? I'm guessing that that one was for the time you and Elsie decided to pass through the McDonalds drive-through just to confuse her by placing complicated orders." "Aw, shut up." grumbles Melvin, spitting sand out of his mouth and rubbing his forehead in a daze. "You didn't invite her out on a date, did you? Cus if you did..." "Naw, I didn't have enough time for that." sighs Vinnie woozily, collapsing in the sand and staring at the beautiful blue sky. "It's a shame, I didn't even have time to finish my McDonalds imitation-meat-substitute hamburger. Y'know, I think that Wendy should open her own chain hamburger restaurant and put those strong hands of hers to use. She could call it "Wendys," and all she'd have to do is rip off the McDonalds formula while using cheaper and more mediocre recipes and products. She could be rich..." "Ya know, for someone who doesn't know the first thing about proposing to a girl, you sure do come up with some bright ideas." mutters Melvin, grinning slightly and also laying in the sand to recover. "That girl sure knows how to toss things, you should have seen the remains of the house when I called off our marriage. Man, that crash landing is gonna leave a huge bruise on my..." Melvin pauses. "... my flesh?" Both Melvin and Vinnie sit upright simultaneously as they notice that they're back in their human forms, and stare at each other in bewilderment as they see that they're both completely naked. Viewing their surroundings and immediatly noticing the flocks of bikini-clad beach bunnies observing at them with interest, they stutter in unison: "I-it's not what you think! We weren't-" "Oh, that's perfectly alright boys." purrs one of the women, kneeling in the sand and slowly crawling towards them. "We like that kinky sort of behaviour here on 'The Island.'" Many of the other beach babes grin and nod to this, and slowly begin to approach, whispering amongst themselves about the color that purple might turn in heat. Melvin and Vinnie cast glances of shock and awe to one another, then Vinnie whispers: "T-t-this is incredible. I didn't even have to buy them flowers or take them to the movies. Though admittedly, this almost takes the fun out of it..." "This is horrible." whimpers Melvin as the women approach closer. "Do you have any idea of how long it's gonna take to marry and divorce all of these girls?! Quick, bury me in the sand." The beach bunnies suddenly cease approaching as a looming and ominous figure pushes through them and halts at the clearing where Melvin and Vinnie lay. The looming form cracks his knuckles and flashes a sinister grin, revealing a single gold tooth amongst rows of pristine white ones. "W-who?" mutters Vinnie nervously, slowly backing away as the man radiates a menacing aura of bad-assness. "They call me Turbo Ted." mutters the man with a hint of bitterness, adjusting the government-issue sunshades on his face and smirking evilly. "I drive a bus/con people out of their money through highly-rigged Poker games for a living. You are currently laying on my beach, surrounded by my beach bunny harem, breaking my 'No Skinny Dipping' rule on my 'The Island' which I bought with my own hard-earned money. What do you have to say to that, punks?" "Errrr..." jitters Melvin nervously, shifting his position in the sand. "Share and share alike?" "Listen you two." growls Ted, breaking his normally cool composure for a moment and scowling. "The punishment for trespassing on 'The Island' is a slow and painful lava-needle torture atop Mount Fury, followed by a high dive into an extremely shallow pond inhabited by wild barracudas. Prepare to suffer." "W-what do we do, Melv?" whispers Vinnie in a panic, fear written in his eyes. "I'm too young to die... plus I hate high diving." "What do we do?" echoes Melvin, determination suddenly replacing the nervousness once written on his visage as he lifts himself to his feet. "We show him who's boss, that's what!" "Hah!" exclaims Turbo Ted, flexing his muscles and tearing through the fabric of his shirt in the process. "You pipsqueaks are no match for me. I run this 'The Island.'" A soft murmer briefly rings out from the beach babes in the crowd as they stand in admiration of Turbo Ted's impressive biceps. This only further aggrevates Melvin. "Listen Ted." growls Melvin, clenching his fists. "My one hundred and seventeenth ex-wife Wendy could toss you all the way across the Ocean, and I can definitely rip you a new one. Vinnie and I have come a long way to reach this point, and have picked up many techniques in our travels. Isn't that right, Vinnie?" Vinnie offers no response as he continues rapidly digging a hole in the sand in the vain hopes of escaping from 'The Island.' "Oh yeah, punk?" mutters Turbo Ted. "Let's see what you've got." Melvin perks his head up and flashes a confident grin as over-the-top anime energy begins surrounding him. He then breaths in a deep breath and cries: "Learned from the penguins of Antartica... Catupult Highkick Tuxedo Twirl III!" With that, Melvin suddenly jumps high into the air as if being shot by a catapult, and performs a pointless yet impressive triple twirl backflip in the air, only to arrive back down wearing an elegent tuxedo suite (and nothing else). The beach bunnies once again break into a soft murmer, impressed by the class and finesse of the technique. "So, Ted ol' chap." mutters Melvin politely, adjusting the cuffs of his sleeves. "What do you say to that?" Turbo Ted raises a brow curiously, then shrugs and charges at Melvin, landing a massive uppercut on him that immediatly knocks him out cold. "That'll teach you better than to call me 'chap.'" mutters Ted cooly, turning towards the pathetic hole that Vinnie is digging and cracking his knuckles... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Wyrd Posted August 28, 2004 Report Share Posted August 28, 2004 When, to the amazement of all parties present, Vinnie uncovers the den of the crab-people. Video screens line the walls: it would seem they had set up a high-tech surveillance operation underneath The Island, to live out their voyeuristic dreams. Now that their operation was compromised, they became very upset... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X-Sabre Posted August 29, 2004 Report Share Posted August 29, 2004 (edited) And viciously pinched at Vinnie's fingers. "NOOOO! THEY HAVE FOUND US," could be heard echoing in the vast underground labrinyth. Vinnie, with a look of shock and amazement stands up quickly to alert Melvin of his recent discovery. "Look at this man, there's a whole civilization of pervert crabs living on this island," exclaimed Vinnie. Ted, overhearing this, became increasingly angry and vowed to destroy those living on his island without his knowledge. "You little freaks won't get away with this!" screamed Ted, who then ran over to the uncovered base. "OH GOD NO. THE HUMANS WILL BE CERTAIN TO DESTROY US. THE PLAN MUST BEGIN IMMEDIATELY." could be heard from some crab. And then suddenly, the sand began to shift and ... Edited August 29, 2004 by X-Sabre Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annael Posted August 29, 2004 Report Share Posted August 29, 2004 a giant sea turtle came up from under the sand. Vinnie and Melvin looked at each other and shruged before jumping onto the back of the turtle. "Where would you like to go?" The giant sea turtle asked. "Umm..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincent Silver Posted August 31, 2004 Report Share Posted August 31, 2004 I'm alive, don't give me that blasted Weenie Award! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valdar and Astralis Posted August 31, 2004 Report Share Posted August 31, 2004 "Why not?" The Turtle asked, before stamping an enourmous "WEENIE AWARDEE" stamp on the penguin. The creature flew apart in a shower of Molluscs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyyark Posted August 31, 2004 Report Share Posted August 31, 2004 An over flying crow looked down, then turned his head to his companion and said, "Hey George they're serving free Moulluscs down on the beach, go tell the guys." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanessa Posted September 2, 2004 Report Share Posted September 2, 2004 Ness stands beside Soli at thier mollusc stall, happily crying out her sales pitch. "Freshly caught mollusc's! Best seafood in The Pen! Come on ladies, gentlemen and assorted creatures, make us an offer for these tasty morsels, garunteed to pleasure the mouth! Your tounge will love you for a month!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solivagus Posted September 2, 2004 Report Share Posted September 2, 2004 Solivagus glances towards Ness, his eyes filled with an odd mixture of pity and amusment. Selling molluscs for a living. Why do I let myself get talked into these things? Some of these are still moving... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigil StarGazer Posted September 2, 2004 Report Share Posted September 2, 2004 (edited) the split second of distraction had nearly cost Solivagus' life as he glanced his way toward the mollusc stand, for already a troupe of bikini cladded girls and advertisers ambushed the prominent wizard with showers of ribbons and camera lights. "Congradulations!!!" said the catchy but anomious announcer voice. "You are the 10,000 customer of the mollucu seafood stand!" "But I didn't even buy any...." Solivagus tried to talked his way out of this situation but his chrasma check failed against the fake boobed blonds as they grabbed hold on him on each side with skanky poses. The camera crew took the opportunity to move in and the poor victim was as good as gone. Furthermore he had the close up shot on national television and his mouth being stuffed with a microphone. The wizard knew he was caught in the worst situation ever: he was flatfooted, against mobs of enemy stragetically targetting his weakness AND ALL THIS HAPPEN BEFORE HE COULD EVEN TAKE A TURN!!! "For this lucky winner.... er... your name sir?" "Sol... Solivagus." The wizard managed to blush sheepishly. "....So-vegas will grab the grand prize off.... this millieum giant mollusc!" The announce continue as they rolled in a deliciously fresh pulm molluse on a beautiful cart... so large that it filled a normal size plate and so fresh that it still wiggle its tenticles and ooze with a savoruing thick slime. The throughly trainned bikini blondshell delicately picked up the mollusc as if it was a prize (and indeed it was) and glaced over the purplish hellspawn with her fingers. "Mmmm yum" said one.. as she licked her lips in a laverish way, shoving that monsterroity in frount of it's next victim... with a sucking sound the mollusc attach itself onto the wizard's face. "Mmmmm! Mmmmmm!" Solivagus tried to scream for help but his mouth as well as his nose was already blocked by the Mollusc' suction as tenticle poke its way into his ears and eyes... ... and the camera crew, the girls, and the announcer had all left, cutting that scene out with a commerical break leaving poor Solivagus on the beach to his own angonizing fate... They head to Vincent Silver instead... "Congratulations sir! You have just won an award!" "?" Vincent Silver turn toward the announcer's voice in surprise... the fear slow reflect in his eyes but it was too late as a giant weenie tumble from the sky and pin the poor pennite down... Edited September 2, 2004 by Vigil StarGazer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamaranis Posted September 7, 2004 Report Share Posted September 7, 2004 (edited) I wonder if I should post here in order to assert my presentness and avoid the weenie award, or deliberately avoid posting here and so reclaim the weenie award that is rightfully mine... Edited September 7, 2004 by Tamaranis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamaranis Posted September 7, 2004 Report Share Posted September 7, 2004 ...wait, that doesn't count, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valdar and Astralis Posted September 7, 2004 Report Share Posted September 7, 2004 Somewhere, somehow, a 2000 ton Mollusc named Chtulu was abruptly displaced from it's eternal slumber, and flopped unceremoniously on Tamaranis. Meanwhile. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appy Posted September 8, 2004 Report Share Posted September 8, 2004 ..a small little doggy walked through all the commotion unnoticed, until someone stepped on it's foot and it yelped.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlan Posted September 10, 2004 Report Share Posted September 10, 2004 ....But Orlan flipped the channel. Molluscs and molusks and dogs and penguins and bus drivers and Vinnie and Melvin were all fine and good, but he needed something with a little more substance. He started flipping through channels, looking for something good but every channel he turned to it was the same. More molluscs, more molusks, more dogs, more penguins, more bus drivers, more Vinnies, more Melvins....it was begining to get to Orlan.... ...but then it was also strangly drawing....he felt awed as he watched the giant Mollusc sneak up on the doggy and CHOMP!!!! And just like that, the doggy was gone and the molusc meandered off on his own rampage, attacking... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zariah Posted September 12, 2004 Report Share Posted September 12, 2004 In the doggie’s fur, there was a small family of 35 ticks. They were about to sit down for dinner when suddenly they were interrupted by a huge mollusk who took a bite out of their host. Seven of them-- Sneaky, Slimy, Suckley, Tricky and Tickey (twins), Pinchers, and Bob (He was the runt)---were all thrown out of their home and landed upon the vicious Mollusk. It was their worst nightmare! No fur or any way to feed themselves! Mollusk blood was not even an option.... Bob asked, "Do mollusks even have blood?" and he receive a giant knock on his beady little head from Sneaky...... Meanwhile, still attached to the dog. The mother and father ticks were really upset! They began to set a plot to rescue their sons from the horrible creature who stole them away. ....and Bob, as dumb as a gnat, hit Sneaky back with such force, that he smushed both of them into the Mollusk and that was the end of Sneaky and Bob...the Mollusk was so angry and then heightened by the irritation on his back and led his rage onto a rampage, setting off for something more. Slimy, Suckly, Tricky and Ticky, and Suckly sank in sorrow for the loss of their beloved brothers. ****In Honor of the newly departed, I would ask each Pen member to please bow their heads in silence and send some sympathy to the parents and siblings of Sneaky and Bob. **** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WrenWind Posted September 12, 2004 Report Share Posted September 12, 2004 *sends a card and a donation to the tick orphans of the world foundation* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Big Pointy One Posted September 16, 2004 Report Share Posted September 16, 2004 It was at this point that Stick showed up and saw Cthulu, former drinking buddy now turned arch-nemesis. "So we meet again, nemesis." Stick said as he entered the room, BPS firmly in hand. Cthulu replied in a voice that seemed to rattle the hall way, distort the mind, yet tickle your fancy. It was also in some long-lost language that Stick didn't understand. "Nice try, Cthulu. Unfortunately, I've had enough of your shenadigans (sp?) and..." Cthulu interrupts by turning Stick into a hot dog, then rolls about in his mollusk-y fashion... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamaranis Posted September 19, 2004 Report Share Posted September 19, 2004 (edited) Meanwhile, Tamaranis was still trapped beneath the 2000 ton body of Chtulu. "Get off of me, you large and ancient Mollusc(with a capital M) from beyond the stars!" Tamaranis demanded. Chtulu, being locking in eternal slumber as it was, continued to slumber. Edited September 19, 2004 by Tamaranis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valdar and Astralis Posted September 19, 2004 Report Share Posted September 19, 2004 A band of freeflying Metalhead Hooners drive by Vinne and Melvin's ghosts (they're dead right?). The earth shakes in rhythm with their head bangs, singing- LEATHER CLAD, KILLER MOLLUSC! LEATHER CLAD, KILLER MOLLUSC! LEATHER CLAD, KILLER MOLLUSC! FROM TEH STARRRRRRRRRRSS! Vinne sighed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blondemoon Posted September 20, 2004 Report Share Posted September 20, 2004 *watches the drama unfold with a bit of amusement and waves a spork of Mollusc-Turning at the ghosts of Vinnie and Melvin threateningly* "I don't care if you're actually human, you've been a shellfish at some point, so get away from me!" Vinnie and Melvin float off with a sad look on their faces.... (give me a break, it's been a long time...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts