Loki Wyrd

Here's just a few short things I wrote as I was sleeping off a hangover... Chickadee-dee-dee Will you come to comfort me? As I lie here dying, my family is only crying. What good will that do for me? I know that they don't see it, Sometimes even I can hardly even believe it, But I'm still alive, So why do they grieve for me? ------------------------ It's all moving, and I'm standing still It should stay in place but I doubt that it will Everything is moving from left to right I don't believe it, but I see it, and write ------------------------ It was no longer in his power to create He could only hope to destroy And it was at hand, he only need reach To crack open their skulls, spill their mortal remains He would steal from them what he had lost The feel of power, like he could do anything... The last one I think I might actually like...the others, I don't know. I just wrote them up for the healing quality putting down words to writing allows. As for my title, that's balderdash of course, so if I said anything of the sort I would have been lying. As far as I know I'm physically well. Mentally, now that is a different story. You see, somehow a cat is trapped within my head....I constantly am hearing it purring. I must say, it's driving me quite insane....it makes me want to go find a cat, grab it by its neck, and heave it against a wall. Then continue to do so until the wall is painted red. Then pile up a bunch of cats (after I had thrown them against the wall enough times so all they can do is twitch), and set them on fire...let's see the bastard purr then! Also...I hear my name being called out constantly...how do these apparitions know my name?!? I don't tell them my name; I would never do such a thing. I don't like people, and if they don't stop saying my name I may be forced to do something about it...

Oh...I hadn't realized that was difficult to follow The last stanza was simply a quiet resignation that things happened the way they did, and nothing can be done about that now.

Have u ever heard the song White Rabbit (or maybe it's called Go Ask Alice) by Jefferson Airplane? Damn good song...

As I am drunk I felt it to be a proper time to respond. It's good that you know what's going on X-Sabre, one of us needs to. Just take some of those 'shrooms you speak of and the hidden messages will appear before you. I use too many damn smileys...

Yeah, sometimes I like to play games with the words I use. Most times people won't even notice, but sometimes I even include hidden messages, etc. within my writings. The last stanza is but a simple little trick I set up, read closely and hopefully you'll be able to see what I'm getting at. If not, that's fine too...it's good you got the first two stanzas.

Troubled fingers, typing on… Words that soon will be gone From my mind and from my sight, Knowing that it’s only right. They are empty from neglect, As am I, I suspect. Left alone in the cold, In this harsh, cruel world. Everything is as it should Be-cause only this way it could Be-fore the time had come It was all gone and done. No one can withstand the power of the emoticons - mwuahaha!

Congrats on your acceptance. To answer your question...not I.

I didn't think the last stanza was bad, I enjoyed the poem as a whole.

Congrats~~>!

Happy belated bday~~>

Ahh...thank you for the enlightenment.

Nice topic, and a very nice job done with it. :wizzie:

'Twas a nice little ditty. Run, rabbit, run...the bobcat doesn't chase for fun.

Anytime...

To be honest I started reading with low expectations (nothing against you, it just looked funky). However, you surprised me, and I must say I enjoyed reading it. However, I'm not going to recommend you, as I think it would only hurt your chances. ;p Go you!

That was a very nice read, thanks for sharing it.

BTW...when am I going to see you posting some of your writings? I think all I've seen of yours is that one poem on our old site a while back. I'm starting to wonder about you

Thanks for the advice, I'll be sure to consider it. My only problem is I don't care enough about any of this stuff I write to change it. I usually just write down whatever pops into my head, and leave it. Probably not a good idea if I ever want to try to write something good. I'll be working on it...

Happy belated~~>I'm slow...

Is there some sort of schedule for when promotions are given? Forgive the ignorance, but...well...I'm ignorant.

I'd like to hear it as you intended, but it still reads nicely. Keep on keeping on.

It was good. I don't mind the departure at the end of the poem, but I'd suggest using more powerful words to convey your feelings of the light and darkness. It could just be me, but stronger and dimmer don't really stir much within me. Also, do you think for the last line when works better than while? - just a thought. Oh yes, and be sure to read over for typos.

Very nicely done, and I thought it flowed nicely if given a chance.

Interesting structure. I particularly enjoyed the last stanza.

It was nice. Might I suggest proofreading it, however, as I noticed some easily correctable typos. I've never tried writing anything with someone else, but perhaps I'll have to give it a shot sometime. Keep up the good work.