Loki Wyrd

An interesting read. Oh, and some nitpicking on my part... truthfull...should it not be truthful? therefor is a word, but I've always been used to the therefore spelling myself, but I guess to each their own...

I was drunk When I said What I said Please, Don't take it to heart I was drunk When I said What I said So please, Don't make it start I don't know what to feel Or what I think is true I am in a perpetual haze From which I was hoping to spare you I'm sorry that I'm wicked I'm unnecessary, and wrong Take your heart away from here It truly should not belong I'm sorry for what I've said When my heart was on my sleeve I didn't know any better Now I'm begging you to leave I didn't know what I was saying Even if I thought it was right I shouldn't bring you such pain I needn't add to your plight I was drunk When I said What I said Please, Know that it's true I was drunk When I said What I said So please, Forget that I love you

Very creative.

Hey-lo ~~>

Hmm...interesting.

I like it, and that is an interesting style you have there.

*nods* You do change your rhyming scheme, and this can throw people off. Maybe if you put in a different type of divider, that would give people an idea that your poem is changing, that would help out. I know I have changed my rhyme scheme throughout a poem, and I don't feel that there is anything wrong with that, you just need to make sure it is done smoothly.

Hmm...I have some suggestions. Not really anything to do with the actual poem, so much as the spelling/grammar. poisen - poison The path you have chose - The path you chose Oh, and be sure to capitalize 'I'. I'll have a stab at the poem itself sometime in the near future.

It's good you know what you're talking about when it comes to poems, I surely do not. Or maybe you're just better at disguising your ignorance...

Wrong and dawn sound fine to me. They don't rhyme as you think of a rhyme in the general sense, but if said properly they sound alright. Damn brits...

I wrote this back when I first had begun to write poems...only 6 months or so. Well, I think it needs a lot of work, but I just stumbled upon it so I thought I'd post it up. What evil lurks on such a night as this? Whiling away my days Acting as if in a daze Awake am I, during the depths of the night Staring into my monitor, glowing bright Surfing the web No reason why Finding anything that will hold my interest Looking at things I'll likely never buy Chatting with others More comfortable speaking with my fingers Speaking with those I could see in an instant Of meeting any of the others, in my mind doubt lingers Listening to music Headphones on Tapping my feet along with my favorite songs Volume turned up, to me the rest of the world is gone Leaning back in my chair Into the monitor I still stare It's been too long since I've read Why does my mind and body not tell me to go to bed?

I know what I was hoping for you to say...

I churned all of these out in the period of an hour, when I was tempting the sandman to come take me away. Sometimes I just like to have fun with writing, and this was certainly one of those instances. For me pushing deeper usually results in a dark state of mind, not always resulting in writing anything legible. Thank you for your comments, as always, they are much appreciated.

I like the last stanza a lot. Very nicely done. I think you pulled off the repitious element of the poem great in that part, but the first two seem like they need some work still. I love a poem that ends strong though. Keep on trucking. BTW...last stanza, first line....should it not be nowhere as opposed to no were?

Very cute indeed. Cool beans.

A nice and easy read, that's definitely a relieving thing at times. Sometimes I know I just need to say it like it is.

I'm a suppressor of emotions, most definitely. When I write I don't alwas feel the necessity to do so...

Hey-lo ~~>

Right-o. No singing from this corner of the ring, but happy bday nevertheless.

Apathy is my biggest supporter. As for my beast, I suppose I do feel deeply about this, but I can't tell you what I meant by my beast, I'm afraid. That is for only me to know... But however you see it is fine by me, we each see things differently, and this helps identify us as people.

I wrote a bunch of stuff last night. Some of them are fairly strange, some are fairly vulgar, and some just are. I suppose it would be asking a lot for you to read them all, but I'd appreciate if you bother to check them out. Thanks, and enjoy. I Have I have thought I was asleep Only to find my eyes were open I have seen things of poetic grace Only to witness them be broken I have not lived a long life Though my years have run long I have discovered many new things Though my heart knows many are gone -------------------------------- Television Waves Dead television waves are running Through my head They are trying to change My channel, But I don't wish to Be changed I am staying tuned, you Selfish bastard! Watch what I have To offer It's quality programming -------------------------------- Prince I am a prince within These walls of rock Falling only to myself On a bended knee -------------------------------- Dark and Stormy I am a dark and stormy night I shall rain down upon your head My dark and clouds loom, a masked threat Prepared to shake down the heavens I shall wield my lightning With it I strike you down Do not tremble before me Witness my power in all its glory Be arisen Be amazed I am but a fleeting glimpse Grasp for me whilst you can -------------------------------- A Lump (I think I like this one....read?) I am a lump on a mattress Which, I am told, is not good But love is all that matters I'm just terribly misunderstood I try to offer you comfort, And get repaid with scorn I love you in my own way You curse the day I was born I have known you well, And I think you have known me too How could you get rid of me? Don't you know I love you? -------------------------------- The Career For Me I would like to be a doctor, The man to turn to when you're ill I'll do my best to make you worse, And then stick you with a huge bill Being a priest would be very fine Though I don't do religion, I do see God all the time I could be a barber The sound of scissors I would hear I may get distracted, But who really needs two ears? The police would want me on their side I may break the law, But think of all the drugs we'd find I would like to be a butcher, So I could cut up meat Then I could butcher up my family, And sell them on the street Writing would be fun to do I'm even literate, Giving me a head start over you I could be a man-whore I'd do my clients well Then I would slice upon their bellies, Using their intestines to bungee jump to hell Music has always been the place to be Smoking a joint Won't you come sing with me? -------------------------------- Intoxication and Masturbation (this is vulgar, if you couldn't figure it out...you've been warned) I am to be instructed In the fine arts Of intoxication And I am told that Stress is relieved With masturbation ...so... When I went out To a party I got plastered Then I went out On the lawn To be mastered ...well... I was well gone, With myself hanging out When the lights came on, And the people did shout The police were there Stressing everyone out, But I didn't care, I just sat about ...finally... I must say I do agree I sat here, the cops didn't see Because I was completely without stress Now all I have to do is clean up this mess

I was wondering if anyone would comment about that posting twice in the period of a day. I know the rules, and was planning on waiting until the next day (it was 11 PM or so at the time) to make the thread. Unfortunately I got involved in something else, and forgot about waiting to post. My bad. About your points: 1) I was stoned at the time of applying, and while writing that poem...which also may explain why I chose to pick this piece for an application poem. 2) I'd be disappointed if it were any other way. and the P.S....yeah, I'm a very delusional individual

A very nice read. I didn't find it difficult to follow the beat in the least.

Reverie: You're absolutely correct, I love attention, so long as it's not real. Thanks for noticing.

I don't think of you as stupid, and I always love to hear another person talk. My problem is sometimes I love to hear myself talk a little too much as well. I know I may be a little shocking, but you really have to know me to understand the things I say. I'm a very sarcastic individual, and I do joke around too much at times. You'll have to forgive me my faults, but I am what I am. Thank you for your comment, I appreciate you spending the time to speak your mind.