Snypiuer

Dear Pen Diary, Back from out of town trip. Had a good time. Spent money I don't have. Need to cause problems to make myself feel better. Stomped on some dust bunnies. Feel a little better. Where's Wyvern?

A notice is placed upon the wall: Defacing public property is punishable by a FINE and/or INCARCERATION Underneath is scrawled: Down with AUTHORITY And: ANARCHY against the ESTABLISHMENT

As morning began to blossom into day: soothsayers and diviners cast lots, read cards and stared deeply into crystal balls; scribes, historians, elders of academe and the generally bookish searched tomes, scrolls and ancient tablets; practitioners of the arts from dark to light used their esoteric might, while followers of both deities and demons prayed for enlightenment - all in a futile attempt to reveal the source of the growing tension within the Keep. Few individuals moved about and those that did, did so out of necessity - as quickly as possible, hands in pockets and with head down. It was as if all those whom dwelled within the walls of the Keep had made an unspoken agreement to to stay within the increasingly dwindling comfort of their own rooms. Within this atmosphere of growing dread, individual doubts and fears began to rise. Each citizen of the Keep began to suspect that the growing doom was specifically meant for them. They searched their memories for every slight given and every wrong they may have done (regardless of how small) that had cause for retribution. They looked back and recalled every enemy long forgotten. A few began to wonder of fallen enemies and whether or not they truly were gone. And the tension grew.

As Grimmael turns to lead Tim into the Keep, he hears an attention getting cough come from what he can only believe (considering the alternative) is the skull on Tim's buckle. With a quizzical look, he says, "That was the buckle. . .wasn't it?" A voice coming from a location slightly lower and (to Grimmaels great relief) further behind Tim, responded, "No." Tim steps aside, "Sorry, forgot to introduce my. . .associate." A dark elf stands behind Tim, smoking a cigarette and wearing a trench coat and a Fedora pulled down at an angle over one eye. He says in a rough voice, battered by countless cigarettes and booze, "Names Noir. . .Mage Noir, but you can call me Sam." He hands Grimmael his card: Mage Noir Private Wand "I guess we got lucky Tim. Looks like we're after the same guy. I'm a mage for hire, a private wand. I happen to be looking for a 'Wyvern' in regards to a little matter." He shows Grimmael a picture of Wyvern - at a strip club. It's a much younger Wyvern, but there is no mistake that it's Wyvern. "Now, there are several 'little matters' I need to see him about, but this is the one I was specifically hired to take care of at this point in time." He hands over another picture. It's of a girl recognizable as one of the strippers from the previous picture. . .holding a baby that bears an UNCANNY resemblance to Wyvern. Grimmael is pulled away from staring at the picture by a small voice to his left and close to the ground, "Are you my daddy?" comes from a chubby, dirty diaper wearing, mucus excreting miniature version of Wyvern. Tim asks Sam, "Mind if I get my business with him over first?" "Sure. We got time, and now that we know his whereabouts, there will be a lot of others interested in that knowledge." Sam adds with a small smile, "Tim, we got all the time we need." Grimmael can only shake his head as he leads the trio into the Keep.

Dear Pen Diary, Prison riots and VERY strong winds - life in a small West Texas town. One more recent then the other. But, both have died down and once again able to communicate with outside world. For a while, believed it was a sign that I should step away from the evil path I have chosen - or at the very least, not focus it at Wyvern. Cuddles, the zombie penguin that crouches in the corner of my room, convinced me otherwise.

Snypiuer finds a dusty, long forgotten tome and opens it. "I remember this." Dear Pen Diary, Long time no write. Feeling ever so much better. Unsure if that is a good thing. For some reason, I've gotten it into my head to be bad. For some even more unknown reason, I've chosen Wyvern as a focus for this badness. No one knows anything, so far. It seems the Muse that I have found is evil. . . yet I believe there is a purpose and have chosen to follow where she leads. The reality dust bunnies huddle in a tight bundle, in the far corner 'neath my bed - shivering in fear, fore they know and that knowledge terrifies them. Will endeavor to update regularly!

Anonymous messages begin to appear scribbled throughout the Keep: The end is near. and: Look for the 9

Snypiuer LOOOVVEES Despair Inc.!!!!! Never thought he should bring it up because an individual who stands out from the crowd is a target. Would seek to participate but knows his place as nothing more then a cog in the machine. A mundane, replaceable cog.

It was a clear morning that dawned on the Keep. It's denizens rubbed their eyes and yawned as they awoke from peaceful sleep. No longer were there nightmares or screams in the night as one would awake, reaching in desperation for the comfort of a loved one. Injuries were healed and conversations were about the weather or about how well a relative was doing. The Keep and those who resided within it's walls were at peace, safe in the knowledge that all was well. Or so they believed. As this clear new day arrived and the Keep awakened, there was a faint tension everyone felt as they performed their morning rituals of washing up and readying themselves. A silence fell over the breakfast table as no one was quite able to express the growing apprehension in the air. A nagging began to creep into the collective psyche of the Keep. And not a few of it's members began to wonder why.

No one notices Snypiuer as he slowly walks around the perimeter of the party, idly checking windows and doors. Therefore, no one notices that he is quietly, discreetly, placing magical locks on each and every exit. As if to insure no one could escape. After he completes his circuit of the room, he looks around and with a slight nod and a small satisfied smile, he leaves. Moments later, as if on cue, a large group of law enforcement officials burst in the front door. "NOBODY MOVE! We're looking for one Wyvern Almost A Dragon, AKA Wyvie, AKA Wyv, AKA. . . . Boss - in connection to a stolen vehicle black market chop shop and the use of fraudulent Vehicle Ownership Transaction (V.O.T.) papers. Specifically a bait car recently recovered with V.O.T papers signed by an S. S. Squirrel." A quick flash of memory shoots through Wyvern's brain: Looking at the papers Snypiuer signed, he saw an S and scribbling, in his haste, he just took for granted it said Snypiuer. At that moment, three troglyodytes, wearing auto shop overalls, are brought in in shackles. As Wyvern quickly pulls off his 'Hi!, My Name is Wyvern' tag and slowly inches closer to the nearest exit, all three raise their manacled claws, point at Wyvern and say, "That's him!"

Snypiuer thinks to himself, "Wow, Wyvern must be over all of the trouble we've had in the past. I ALMOST feel bad about what will be happening in the near future." Everyone in the entire Keep looks around as menacing music is heard, "dum dum DUMMM!!!" Snypiuer quickly signs the papers, drops his keys in the box and wanders away before any questions can be asked.

Don't have anything myself, but give a listen to Colin Hay's "Waiting for My Real Life to Begin". It might inspire you.

A disheveled individual shambles in, "Is this the Lurkers Anonymuse meeting?" Looking around, he sees Wyvern. Pulling out a small piece of paper, he heads towards him thinking, "He must be the guy who validates my parking."

Dear Pen Diary: Been a while since last update. Things were looking great, reality dust bunnies were no where to be found. Little did I know, they merely lay in wait. Their trap was diabolical in its' simplicity. After such a sustained run of bad luck and set backs, I was given a glimmer of hope for a reversal of fortune. I was given news that I was showing physical improvement and it would be recommended that I could once again resume working. I was foolish for falling for it. The very day I received this good news, I fell ill. Believing it to be nothing more then a VERY bad stomach virus, I ignored it and set about putting my life back in order. Reality dust bunnies are mean, vile little creatures. About a week later, found myself in emergency room - extremely dehydrated, white blood count over 34 (told normal is about from severe infection and a gangrenous gall bladder. The reality dust bunnies had attacked with extreme prejudice, violently beating me to a bloody pulp and (once again) leaving me for dead. I HATE reality dust bunnies. All that said, I survived. My other medical problem (Muscular Dystrophy) is prolonging my recovery and the loss of muscle mass, from such a long recovery, will take a while for me to regain (some I can't, due to MD). So, THAT means: Will have to go through entire process of getting re-evaluated after recovering - which MAY take some time (the process itself, since it's all done through charities). Just hope I can gain back enough strength. Hence, no work for a while longer. Have I mentioned that I HATE reality dust bunnies? Oh well, they took their shot and FAILED! So, 'till their next attempt, they can BITE ME!

If you have gall stones, your gall bladder can: 1. Become infected. 2. Swell to over three times its normal size. 3. Gangrene can set in. 4. Die, your gall bladder can die. All this leads to excruciating pain. If ALL this happens and you IGNORE it for over a week (like one IDIOT, who shall remain nameless), you ALSO can die. OR, at the very least, WISH you did. Having Muscular Dystrophy will prolong recovery and no insurance or employment just makes EVERYTHING so much more interesting. DO NOT ask how I know this, just accept it as fact!

Snypiuer is NOT a critic or good movie reviewer. But, he knows what he likes when he sees it. That being said: Lucky to get to see advanced showing of Iron Man. Being a biased Marvel fanboy aside, liked it. Kind of slow towards end, but did advance story line. Robert Downey Jr. made a good Tony Stark and the story, itself, stayed relatively true to the Marvel mythos (aside from the whole 'origin' which was changed to be more contemporary). Jon Favreau was an EXCELLENT choice to direct. All in all, a very good movie. Would not surprise me if it becomes Marvels highest grossing.

Static fills the screen: V1: Did you feed it? V2: Yeah. But, I think we shouldn't anymore. V1: Boss said feed it. V2: Yeah, but have you seen how FAT it is now? V1: You're one to tal. . . HOLY JEE!!! V3: meow? V1: How does it move?! V2: Well, it leans to one side and pushes, then leans to the other side, you get the picture. V3: meow? V2: At least we don't have to worry about hairballs anymore. V1: What? V2: Too fat to lick itself. V1: Oh. V3: meow? V2: Kind of looks like that kid that ate that gum, last time the boss gave a tour of the factory. V1: How many times do you have to be told, 'DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE FACTORY'?!? V3: meow? V2: I just. . . V1: DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE FACTORY! V3: meow? V2: O.K.! V3: meow? V2: You sure this is 'THE' one? V1: Boss says it is. V2: Really? Think the lizard knows? V3: meow? V1: Wouldn't be surprised if he was behind it. Always, "What would I do without her? What if she leaves?" V3: meow? V2: I can just see him plastered and crying into a chalice of Ol' Peculiar! V1: Yeah! By the way, he send over the new transcript? V3: meow? V2: Yeah, still playing the 'Plausible Deniability' angle. Says that's why he can't pay us. V3: meow? V1: EXCUSE ME!? V2: Boss says he's got it covered. V1: Oh. Well, that's O.K. WHOW! Time to start! Turn it on. V2: O.K. V3: meow? V1: GET THAT OUT OF HERE! Two rather large squirrels appear on screen. The fatter one seems to be kicking something off screen. V3: MEEOOWWW! S1: Hello everyone! S2: Hi! S1: Due to injuries and what I must say is out right fear. . . S2: FEAR! S1 looks at S2, S2 gives a "What!?" look at S1. S1: Injuries and fear has limited The Grim Squeaker Punt, Pass and Kick Games™ to only a few contestants. S2: That's right. But, word is Snypiuer has recovered from his injuries and will make another attempt. S1: We eagerly await his next appearance and hope his success will encourage others to overcome their fear. . . S2: FEAR!! Once again, S1 looks at S2 and S2 gives a "What!?" look at S1. S1: OVERCOME their fear and make their own attempt. S2: Yeah. Get out their and show that rat what's what! S1 shoves S2 off camera. S2: HEYYY!!! S1: What he means is, The Grim Squeaker (as a WILLING participant) looks foreward to as many contestants joining in the fun as possible. V2: KICK THAT RATS A. . . S1 throws his microphone off stage. V2: OOWWW!!!! S1: SHUT UP! S1 turns back to camera. S1: We now return you to Wyvern. Static fills the screen: V1: WHAT IS YOUR MALFUNCTION!? V2: HE BIT ME!!! V1: GET OVER IT! V2: FINE! V1: FINE! Sheesh! V3: meow? V2: What exactly IS a minion? V3: meow? V1: Just feed it! V2: Ooo.Kaayy. . . . V3: meow?

A little room. Weak florecent lighting. Folding chairs scattered about, filled with dejected, forelorn individuals. A speaker at front of room. "Hi, I'd like to thank you all for coming and believe that, together, we can begin to heal. If some one is willing to start, will you please come foreward and begin?" Everyone kind of looks around uneasily. "How about you?" The individual spoken to, hesitates, looks around, shrugs and decides O.K. He stands and walks to the front of the room. His hair and beard are a tangled mess, as if he's been in bed for months then just got up and came straight here, without even thinking of combing it. His attire bolsters the image. On his left foot is a faded, worn, pink bunny slipper that lets out a weak, wheezy squeak with every step, while on his right is a monster foot slipper - just as old and worn - that lets out a roar with every step. He wears faded, wrinkled pajama pants and a torn, wrinkled t-shirt. On the back is a cartoon picture of a bearded man, in a robe, wearing sun glasses and DJ headphones, holding his arms straight out at his sides. Above the picture is written, 'DJ Jesus (pronounced: HEY-sus) World Record Holder for length of time holding arms out at sides at a 90 degree angle or higher'. Below him is written, 'HoldingMyArmsOut.com' On the front is a cartoon picture of a girl with glasses and two little horns on her forehead. Above it is written, 'I Love Lucy:' below it reads, 'Daughter of the Devil'. The man coughs, clears his throat and quietly speaks. "Umm, I'm Snypiuer" (A scattering of "Hi, Snypiuer" comes from those seated), "Yeah, Hi. Umm, I really don't know why I'm here. You know, sure, I lurk, but who dosen't? It's not like I HAVE to. I post. . . So I don't post EVERY day. But does that make me a 'LURKER'? I mean. . ." Snypiuer starts to scan the room nervously, with a lost look, he turns to the first speaker, "Umm, I don't know if I can do this. . ." "That's O.K. Snypiuer, it can be hard the first time. What you need to do though, is to face yourself. Admit to YOURSELF that you're a lurker. It will make it easier to admit it to others. Then the healing can begin." Snypiuer attempts a cocky smile and attitude, but both come off as nervous, "Ha. I'm NOT a lur. . ." He looks around at the faces in the room, kind of steps back, as if he's cornered. He looks at the door and for a brief instant looks like he's going to make a run for it. "I. . ." looking back at the first speaker, Snypiuer lowers his head, turns back to the room and softly says, "My name is Snypiuer. . . and. . . I'm a lurker."

Things that are just WRONG: 1. Sugarless candy. 2. Being attracted to a persons' signiture. i.e. CheerMynx, Kikuyu Black Paws. 3. Believing that, since Kirsten Dunst is NOW an adult, it's O.K. to. . .ummmm. . .'make onseself happy', while watching her scenes in 'Interview With A Vampire' 4. HAVING to point out #3. 5. Shameless, public flatulance. Do NOT ask how I know this, just accept it as fact!

Dear Pen Diary, The Grim Squeaker really did a number on me. He's tougher then he looks. Finally recovered and ready to make another attempt. The squirrels have been out doing my bidding while I recovered. Seems they may have been up to more mischief also. Have heard of several graffitti incidents, Mr. Moog seems to have become obsessed with finding out just how many different ingredients will make dust bunnies explode and I shudder to think what they are doing to the cabbages - so far no ones discovered that last one. . . yet. Anyways, sorry I've been so unreliable in making entries, will attempt to make them on a regular basis. Also, must remember to punch in and pay my VERY late dues. Consider reapplying, maybe that will get me out of the late fees. Must check charter and by-laws to see if that is an option and hope Wyvern doesn't figure out about it. Find B.B.Q. and make appearance as the Lesser Devine Being of Outdoor Cooking. If no B.B.Q., use my position as Spokes Cherub of Processed Meats next time I go to the deli. 'Till next time.

A dark figure stealthfully makes it's way to the wall, spying an untouched section, writes: Snypiuer waz here 4/27/08 then slips away.

So many people, Passing in the night. I wonder where they're going, If they would stop and tell me, Everything's all right. I'm going home. Home to my family. Home where I belong. I'm headed home tonight, Nothing's wrong. Every day I see their faces. As they pass, I see the traces, Of trouble and fear. Eyes cast down, avoiding contact - Moments to be near. I wonder, If there's something I could have done. If they were lonely, Needed someone. What would I do, If asked, "Please may I talk to you?" "Take my hand." "Walk me home." "Let me know that I'm not alone." Would I? In the mirror, I see a face. In it, I can trace, Weariness of many years. I wonder, "Is he all right?" "Avoiding contact - moments to be near?"

I have SOME idea of how this story SHOULD go. Just wondering how others may believe it unfolds if they are given the first and last sentences. Feel free to give ideas or even write a full story using these sentences as beginning and end. Thanks. ******************************************************************************** ******************** The Temples fell and the Gods fled, as I stood upon The Mountain - watching as smoke from the fires that stretched across the horizon, rose to meet the heavens - a solitary Witness to the death of a planet. Thus, Life begins again.

O.K., this one is really good. Moving.

I aint no critic. Unlike many here, I've never been able to grasp how writing is/should be structured. (It's like music, played trombone from 5th grade through 12th - not bad either - but NEVER learned to read or compose music. I just knew that a note written a certain way sounded a certain way. Ask me to play an A flat half note in double time and I'd just stare at you.) One reason I refrain from giving feedback. I don't believe it would be too constructive. BUT, liked this one. Don't know technical reason why, just do. Thanks for posting it. Now entertain me some more! Just kidding, but would enjoy seeing more of your work. 'You'll always have my unspoken passion, though I might not seem to care.' - Just The Way You Are (Billy Joel)