Snypiuer

Misinterprets Troubled Sleeps' comment (on purpose - of course) as meaning she's in love with him and blushes There was a mention of not knowing when, or to what extent, comments were welcome. Is there anyway to set it up when you post to turn off comments? That way, if it's left on, it will automatically be implied. Just a thought.

I can NOT stress with enough conviction, Snypiuer is NOT a good critic. Unless there are really, REALLY obvious problems with grammar and structure, I tend to miss them (I have the habit of mentally 'fixing' small errors as I read and therefor simply don't 'see' them - maybe that's why my own work is such a mess?) Anyways, this is what I'll do you for. If I were at a book store, just browsing with no set author or book in mind, and this was on the back cover of a book that caught my eye - I'm not sure I would buy it. I would have to flip through and read a few random pages to see if it caught my interest. It has some potential, which is why I WOULD flip through it instead of just putting it back and moving on. Sorry I can't give you more, like I said, I'm not a good critic.

Snypiuer swings in on a rope, drunk and stumbling around. His unsteadiness, combined with his garbled speech, makes everyone believe that Captain Jack Sparrow was an amalgamation of Henry Higgins and a proper Southern Gentleman in comparison, he can barely slur, "Some one mention a ship in need of a Captain?" - right before falling overboard (no one has any idea where a ship railing came from), disappearing from view. Jason, how about doing a Youtube of the music and posting it. Everyone could then listen and submit lyrics. Then we could vote and you then post aversion with the winning lyrics or maybe you could post a version of each submission and then we pick. Also, are there any other Pennites that do music? Maybe they could put some other Pennites works to music also and then every month or so, we could vote on one and place it on the Facebook page or something. Or how about readings of works being posted? Either by the author or one of the more theatrical Pennites? Once again, every month, we could vote to see which work would be featured. We could have categories, one of which would be new works posted that month - this might get people to post more often. Just tossing out the ideas!

First, any relation to Duke? ......................... ............................ Duke Nukem'...... ............................... .................................. ............................................. COME ON! THAT'S FUNNY! Anyways, like your stuff (as I've posted elsewhere, I'm not a good critic - so, 'Snypiuer like' is about it). Also, don't know if you ever do covers, but I think you could do an interesting take on Colin Hays' 'You Looking at Me?' OR (Oh, this just came to me!), how about putting some of the other Pennites' works to music? It could be part of the whole 'Getting people to post more' thing. They'd post a work for consideration and it could be voted on, winner gets Newcomb... -ed? -ised? -ated? Just a thought!

Ozy, Superman? Not according to the tag in my underwear. If that is to be trusted, I'm some sort of 'Loom' fruit - whatever that is, I'm an EXTRA, EXTRA large one! Anyways, Villains is one of my favorite takes on the fantasy story line. It is also, partly, an inspiration for the alternate reality story I'm doing on Signe - that being mentioned: I, Snypiuer, am a hypocrite. I have stated my EXTREME hatred of Robert Jordan's' (former) inability to meet a deadline, and Lord knows my personal views of Robert Asprin's inability to meet a deadline (which caused me to stop reading the MYTH series - though I still follow the Phule novels). *This just found out (while checking to make sure I spelled his name correctly), Robert Asprin ALSO died! What are these people doing to me!?* Regardless of this, I myself told Signe (well over a week ago) that I was only a few days from finishing the alternate reality story. I'm STILL writing it. BUT, it's due to the fact that the story has grown and I'm trying to fit it all in (not that that is an excuse or anything). SO: My apologies to Signe and I will post as SOON as I'm done - PROMISE! O.K., anyone who can find this book, should. Also, while I do LOVE Middle Earth, I find Mithgar (the world of 'The Iron Tower and The Silver Call') just as good and I SLIGHTLY prefer it. So try it. Faerie Tale is just plain creepy - read at night. Alone. In the dark. The others are just fun. I need to go through my collections to find it, but there is a short story I'd recommend about how humans, as a race, become God-like beings and suddenly die out all at once. It's old (came out about the same time as stories such as: 'John Carter', 'Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser', etc.), came out in a sci/fi serial, will look for it. Wish I was actually able to do more then say, "Snypiuer like!" or, "Snypiuer NO like!", but Snypiuer has NO critic skills beyond this. HAVE FUN!

Words of hurt. Of deprivation. I like the 'Of deprivation' part. May have to change the first line though. And reword the rest of that stanza, but that 'Of deprivation' does fit. It gives inklings of ideas! I LIKE IT! Will think on it. THANK YOU! ALL SUGGESTIONS ARE NOT ONLY HELPFUL, THEY ARE MUCH APPRECIATED!

I know what you mean about first lines of last stanza - I just couldn't come up with anything. Open to suggestions! Also, corrected who's to whose. Completely missed that one and will now retire to subject myself to harsh and brutal punishment for my transgression! No need to apologize for nitpicking - the fact that I must now suffer a sever and violent beating (punctuated by humiliation) because of said nitpicking, may be in question. But hey, you know, it builds character! Glad you liked it!

This is one of those that make me think it's been written before or, at least, should have been. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sad poem of melancholy and dark despair. Lost love. Broken dreams. Life unfair. Dark words of emotions raw and feelings deep. Of pain. Of sorrow. Of troubled sleep. Words of hurt beneath which anger simmers. To end, in hope - whose faint light glimmers.

When the Wheel of Time series first came out, they gave away the first half of the first book as a stand alone novel at comic/sci-fi conventions, book fairs and such. This is how I got hooked. Then, Mr. Jordan not only took his time writing each subsequent book, he missed deadlines and actually stopped to write Conan novels. You have no idea how many times I fantasized about reenacting the scene from Misery where James Caan's character is tied to the bed and gets his ankles broken, with Mr. Jordan so that he was forced to finish writing his series. Then he died. This REALLY upset me. I have my suspicions, but I believe he planned it - just to p*ss me off (yes, I AM that self-centered). Anyways, let's hope the new guy finishes it in a timely manner - each book is HUGE and having to go back and read each to refresh my memory EVERY SINGLE TIME a new one comes out grows old and takes away from my enjoyment. Oh yeah, try these fun books: Villains by Necessity - by Eve Forward (Fantasy) Illegal Aliens - by Phil Foglio and Nick Pollotta (Sci-Fi) Faerie Tale - by Raymond E. Feist (Horror/Fantasy) Songs of Earth and Power (combines The Infinity Concerto and The Serpent Mage) - by Greg Bear (Fantasy) Iron Tower Trilogy and Silver Call Duology - by Dennis L. McKiernan (Fantasy) I believe there is now one book combining all five books.

I like it. Actually can relate from both sides (student and teacher). Snypiuer basically slept through his entire schooling - finding his teachers to be less then adequate. So, became a physics major when he went to college (though did not finish a degree for reasons soon to be revealed) and was headed toward a future in education - which he was, without a doubt, greatly needed (based on his prior exposure to inadequate educators). Having gained enough credits to substitute teach, Snypiuer wisely did so for 2 years - in order to verify that this was, in deed, what he should make of his life. After teaching (I was that foolish sub that actually attempted to teach instead of babysit) every grade from kindergarten to H.S. seniors and drop out retention students (actually did 4 months as a permanent freshman algebra sub), Snypiuer concluded three things: 1. Academia actually deteriorates ones intelligence. 2. Snypiuer hates children (more so then his disdain for people in general) 3. Finally, that students are evil and must be eradicated - which, for some unknown reason, my superiors (while agreeing with me) did not share my willingness to implement a final solution to achieve this objective. Thus ended, not only, Snypiuer's teaching career, but also his education - seeing no reason to continue, since all his dreams of being a positive influence in the molding of the minds of future generations had been thoroughly crushed. So, this is why your story makes me giggle on many levels! THANKS FOR WRITING IT !

Sadly, this is an actual event, so I believe does NOT count as overcoming my writers block: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I see him sitting there Day after day. Pondering, I know not what. Lost in contemplation, He is oblivious to all that surrounds him. As if he alone, Exists. I can only wonder At what deep and philosophical thoughts Traverse the landscapes Of his mind. As he sits there, Solitary. Alone. Blind to all others. Perhaps he meditates Upon Universal secrets. Or the nature Of One's soul. When I try to imagine, The possibilities. The sheer enormity of it all, Shakes me to the core. The very essence of my being, Trembles. As I shudder at the mere thought Of being lost in that vastness. When I finally steady myself. Regain my composure. I approach, And ask: "Hey Dad, Is it really too much to ask, For you to close the bathroom door When you're in there?"

Thanks. I'm glad the subtle nuances of the juxtaposed. . . .who am I kidding? Still blocked and PRETENDING to know what I'm talking about isn't helping (By the way, Snypiuer has always been amazed at how many here are knowledgeable about writing structure and style. I have no idea about either. Basically, Snypiuer like write - same problem with music, was a band geek and played trombone for 7 years without ever learning how to actually read music. I knew what the little pictures on the music sheet was supposed to sound like but if told to play or write a certain note, I couldn't to save my life. Anyways.) Whenever I try to access what little gray matter I have left, it seems some CEO of Snypiuer LLC. has decided that outsourcing the call center would save the company enough money so that he can afford an island somewhere. So, with NO regard to the fact that NO ONE in the fourth world nation he chose speaks English, this is what I go through: Operator: (In broken English - obviously read from a phonetically written script) Hi. Thank you wel come call Snie-pee-your may halp you? Me: Huh?! Operator: May halp you? Me: What the?! Ahh, I've been waiting several weeks for my muse to get back to me and was wondering if you can give me an update as to when I may expect her return? Operator: Moose? You need halp write? Me: Whaaa...? Yes. My muse! Been waiting for weeks. Where is she? Operator: You moose, write gud now? Me: (Believing, for some unknown reason, that talking LOUDER and sloowweerrr, along with elaborate hand gestures would help) I...AM...CALLINGGG...TO...FIND...OOUT... WHENNN...MY...MUUSE...WILL...RETURNNN!!! Operator: (Also speaking LOUDER and sloowweerrr and, no doubt, also using elaborate hand gestures) YOUU...MOOOSSSE...WRRIITE...GUUD...NOW?! Me: (Nothing but the sound of my head loudly and repeatedly banging against desk) THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! (Followed by) ARRGGGHHHH!!!!! Operator: Thank you call, gud bye! Meanwhile, on some tropical island beach, a CEO lounges on virgin white sands and takes in the majestic ocean views as petite (yet voluptuous) native beauties slowly fan him with palm leaves and feed him grapes and strawberries while he drinks a frosty tropical drink and softly chuckles to himself as he mutters, "What an idiot!"

Still have writers block, so I forced myself to sit and write ANYTHING! This is what I got. Not good, or very original, but hoping it will trip something in my tiny little think center. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sometimes, I wonder why: Birds can sing, But dogs can't fly. And why does day follow night? Then along comes, The recurring theme In which I'm more alive, Within my dreams. And still, Day follows night. So I sit And contemplate, Deep dark thoughts And dreadful fate. While I count the days That follow night. And wonder: If my dog could fly, Would he be content To stay the friend He is to me?

Wyvern, I just read your latest movie review and was compelled. . . NAY! Compelled is NOT a strong enough term! There was NEVER even the smallest of options NOT to write this: It takes a brave and courageous individual to live in Berkley, CA. and PUBLICLY (in a computer message that can be traced back to you no less!) admit that you do NOT worship at the alter of all that is Micheal Moore. I commend you dear friend. Take care. . . take care!

Thanks for the info. I feel giddy with anticipation! Also, have you seen the youtube clip of the fan-made trailer for a Marvel Zombies movie? It's got Spidey, Hulk and Capt. America and is pretty good.

Saw your Marvel Zombies quote (so I figure you read the series), I haven't been able to read them (I REALLY want to), but wouldn't Deadpool, Wolverine and even the Hulk be immune due to their healing factor? Just askin'.

Snypiuer once had a frowning pancake and even a dour tortilla, once. But never a smiling ego. . . .HEY!!! LET GO MY EGO!!! *I liked it.*

Dear Pen Diary, Well, still have writers block and can't find a solution so I can finish what I'm working on. Or start something else. You'd think being gagged and tied-up in the attic for about a week would give me time to become unblocked, but I might as well have mentally eaten a 10lb. cheese and Immodium sandwich for all the good it did me. Anyways, figure my muse will show up drunk and half dressed - eventually (once the Reality Dust Bunnies are done with her). 'Till then, I got two 20lb. bags of rice for the innards of the doll I'm going to make for the next One-Man Hide-and-Seek game. I'm thinking the bigger and more arms the better! Will update later.

GOOD NEWS! I've managed to escape and I am O.K. (dehydrated, but O.K.)! After lapsing in and out of consciousness for a few days, I found myself gagged and tied-up in my attic. Now, when one finds oneself gagged and tied-up in one's attic (after a brief moment of panic and struggling), one finds that they have a grand opportune time to contemplate their actions as a whole. It actually becomes quite calm and tranquil. One might call it (I dare say) therapeutic even. During my time of self-evaluation, I have come up with a rather astute and comprehensive list of 'missteps' I MAY have been considered to have taken. This list consist wholly of one item - a verbal mis-cue within my second attempt at this 'ritual'. O.K., their are some who would point out that I have a habit of dabbling in 'things' I shouldn't and that this in turn leads to many adverse conditions - such as the ghost story I wrote about in a previous post and (of course) my most recent predicament. They would also point out that doing such 'things' in a house already haunted might be considered 'unwise'. Not only did my Grandfather build this house himself in the early 1900's, he also died in it. The rumor that there is money buried some where and the fact that an Aunt was still-born and buried on the property (small West Texas town, it was legal back then) only adds to it since the location of both are now unknown. Needless to say, there has been more then any houses' fair share of unusual goings on within (and surrounding) its' walls - so much so, that when an individual ACTUALLY came through my window in the early A.M. one night, I wasn't even startled. I simply informed him that he was about to die and it would be to his benefit to leave, which he did after a cigarette - he was stoned out of his mind, said he had made a mistake (wrong house) and couldn't get it together enough to even fall back out the window. I calmed him down with a cig, then reminded him with a rather large survival knife that he was, indeed, in the wrong house and about to die for his inaccuracy (truth be told, had I had a gun, I would have simply shot him - a knife takes too much energy, so he was lucky on that count). But I digress. Others may list the fact that I used blood to make red thread (I only had white thread and I'm very resourceful) as a misstep on my part. Then there are those who would say that my TOTAL lack and disregard for safety and the ACTUAL rules of the ritual MIGHT have had some little bearing on the situation I have recently found myself in. I reject these claims in their entirety. No, I blame gas. At the time of naming the second doll, I was gaseous. Instead of naming him 'Graunt, Korvak Slayer', it came out as 'Graunt Korvak (gaseous pause), Slayer' thereby leading it to believe (in my opinion) that he was related in some way to Korvak and his TITLE was 'Slayer'. All in all, not his fault really. Well, after almost a week, I was able to escape and now have a different concern - all my Cheese Nips, dill pickles and Yoohoos are missing. Rather disconcerting. That being said, I have come to the conclusion that using cheap 4 inch Beanie Baby knock-offs from those 25 cent crane machines (Korvak being a Panda Bear and Graunt a Zebra) was foolish. I'm thinking I need something much bigger - with actual hands. Will let you know when I find a suitable subject. I am PSYCHED! I have a better feeling about this then I had about my previous attempts! It just feels. . . right. Toodles!

O.K., sooooooo, (I'm guessing) naming it Korvak, Drinker of Souls wasn't a very joyfull decision either? All righty then. No prob. Tonight I'll make "Graunt, Korvak Slayer" and see what happens. I got a good feeling about this! Toodles!

Reads poster and begins to ruffle through a large stack of recipes that materializes in front of him, muttering "No. No. Not that one. Mayyybee. . .no. Aha! No. No." Continues muttering as he searches through stack as he, and it, slowly drift down the hall. OOC: Interseting, will see if I can come up with something before commiting though.

Dear Pen Diary, Found you adding stability to a wobbily table, sorry about that. Been a while. Have not been able to finish story I'm working on and no insperation for anything else. Do have one idea for an alternate story on Signe, but stuck on that one also. Must be the Reality Dust Bunnies, again. Well, need to find a missing possessed doll (thinking he's joined the dust bunnies in some nefarious plot against me). Maybe I'll get some insperation when I find him. Write to you later.

Nothing to worry about, really, but what do you do if you can't find the doll? Also, was it unwise to: 1. Name it "Korvak, Drinker of Souls" and 2. Decide to just go to sleep and look for it later? Just asking.

O.K., you guys are rich bachelors. Try this: 1. Save enough money for a loaf of bread (day old or .59 cent store brand works). 2. Buy said loaf. 3. Go to local 7-11 and pocket: A. Handful of salt packets B. Handful of pepper packets C. Handful of ketchup packets D. Handful of mustard packets Mix ingredients A through D and spread on slices of bread. Toast in oven. Enjoy. For a while, Ramen was a luxury for Snypiuer (A pack of ramen feeds you for a day, a loaf of toasted bread w/ketchup-mustard mix feeds you for a week). One that's a little better: !. Bag large shell macaroni 2. Large can tomato sauce 3. Grated cheese (I prefer Colby-Jack) 4. Seasonings: Salt, Pepper, Cumin, Italian seasoning mix Boil shells to desired firmness (I boil for about 12 min.) Drain. Mix in Sauce and cheese (or sprinkle cheese on top when serving - your choice). Add seasoning to taste. I also add a little lemon juice and garlic (But that's me). If you have the money, cook up some ground beef and add to mix. If any left, mix in a little olive oil and bake the leftovers the next day.

You're killing me, simply killing me. I know there's no such thing as an original idea. . . but this?! I haven't finished what I'm working on now, let alone started on one of these, and its already been done! Feeling very inferior at this point in time!