Snypiuer

Members are already posting in a couple of forums and letting us know their status, for this we give our sincerest thanks. This is exactly what we were hoping for. Others are also expressing interest in the Roll Call (some have even been accosted on the very streets of the Pen itself and forced to present their papers and given a warning that they are being watched - EVERYONE is being watched!) Interest is growing - THINK I'LL MILK IT! (Worry not, it's coming and you WANT to be a part of it!) In OTHER News: We've been working on several things, one of them is a Mighty Pen Podcast. There is a Mighty Pen channel on You Tube (TheMightyPenPodcast) at: http://www.youtube.com/user/TheMightyPenPodcast And a first podcast at: - if you just CAN'T wait to see it! This is just a beginning and we are expecting to only get better at it! Keep contacting every member of the Pen you can and tell them to check-in. Also encourage people who are NOT members to give us a try! Oh yeah, AND POST!

There was a thunderous pounding sound that echoed throughout Snypiuers' dwelling. Alarmed by this, each of his three companions (Mr. Moog, Pith and Silvia - three rather large squirrels) reached out, ripped a hole in reality itself and stepped through to Snypiuers' chamber - at least that is what they had intended. They were stunned to instead find themselves outside his chamber doors. They immediately realized why they were unable to enter when they saw what exactly was the source of the thunderous pounding. There, along the ground in front of the door, was a giant crack in the floor that was filled with ebony flames and tentacles that reached out from deep within it. These tentacles were covered with ears and eyes and flailed wildly at the doors as they attempted to either break them down or rip them open. All three of them drew power deep within themselves and wove defenses around themselves as they prepared to face the beast. As one, they spoke, "Shadow thief." The tentacles began to pull themselves up and as they rose out of the crack, they transformed into the figure of a man. The most unsettling thing about the man was how completely ordinary he was. In fact, he was so ordinary, he seemed to just 'blend' into everything around him. Had anyone else been in the room, they would have immediately wondered what had been causing all the commotion because the man would have already faded from their thoughts all together. He approached the three (who kept him in their consciousness by watching him from the corners of their eyes) and spoke, "He keeps secrets! From me!" It was Pith who responded, "Yeah, yeah, we know 'How dare he keep secrets from you' - what are you going to do about it?" The fact that they were able to feel his anger, when everything about him fades from an individuals thoughts immediately, let them know that he was REALLY mad - which was a very dangerous thing. They drew in even more power, so much that a low hum began to fill the air. Even holding this much power, they knew that they would hurt him, but lose. Of all the Gods, this one had a special type of hatred for Snypiuer. He was the God of Secrets. Not even the other Gods could conceal their most private thought from him. Yet Snypiuer had, not only, figured out how to shield himself from the God of Secrets, but he had somehow made it so that even his conversations with others were shielded. And he was about to take his anger at Snypiuer out on them. "I'm going to rip you open and see that knot he ties in your head!" He said as he reached for Pith. He stopped inches from him when Silvia said, "One problem, then he'll come after you." He turned to her and was about to speak when Mr. Moog added, "Why don't you go talk to the last God that upset him?" They all turned as a woman entered the room and said, "Yes, Iismaal would appreciate a visitor, he receives so few." The three squirrels said, in unison, "Mother!" as she patted each ones head and scratched behind their ears. The God of Secrets responded, "How long will we let him commit blasphemy after blasphemy? His mere existence is an abomination against us!" She looked at him (something even another God has trouble doing) and said, "You know as well as the rest of us that there is. . . something that protects him. Perhaps you should visit Iismaals' tomb and see what he has to say about him." The God of Secrets visibly shook with anger before simply fading away. The three squirrels hugged the woman as she asked, "So you still serve him?" They looked sheepish as they just nodded. She added, "You know that, as long as you do, you can never enter my kingdom." It was Mr. Moog that looked up at her with sad eyes and softly said, "But, he needs us Mother." She laughed, "Him? He needs no one. Go ask a dead God, he'll tell you how much that one needs anyone." Mr. Moog looked down as he replied, "Not like that Mother. . ." he looked up at her, seriously, and finished, "We think he's getting worse." She took in a deep breath and slowly let it out before saying, "That's not good. There has been signs of change, no one believed he was involved. No, that's not good at. . . ", she stopped and was only a fraction of a second faster then the three squirrels to fill herself up with power as the sound of a bouncing rubber ball came from down the hallway. The vast amount of magical energy in the hallway warped the fabric of space and time around them as a little girl bouncing a rubber ball skipped into view. The three squirrels stood between the child and the woman who stepped back behind them. The little girl smiled and said, "Mommy!" to which the woman replied (with hatred dripping from every word), "You are NO child of mine, empty one, vile creature!" The little girl held her ball and pouted, "That's not nice. . . Mommy." The woman backed away and Pith told her, "Go. Go now." A crisp blue light filled the hallway as she vanished. The three squirrels strained with the energies they were drawing in and desperately weaving shield after shield around themselves. The little girl giggled and said, "Silly Bunnies!" as she touched her ball to their shields and they all simply fell away. "Is he in there?", she asked as she went to the door. Where the God of Secrets was unable to budge the doors even a hairs breadth, she turned the door knob and opened the door a good three inches and began to say, "Hi Da. . . ", before she is thrown back by the force of it slamming shut. She got up, tears in her eyes, she turned to the squirrels and hugging her ball she says, "He's NOT NICE! Not. . . nice. . . at. . . ALL!" As she said the last, her voice lowered and words elongated as her eyes and mouth became empty holes. At that moment, the door opened and the little girl suddenly became very afraid and BEGGED the three squirrels, "PLEEAASSE! Don't tell on me!" as she ran away. All this was nothing, for the REAL story was what was going on within Snypiuers' chambers. A Dark Cabal had gathered and a group of Illuminati had set in motion what they believed would shake the Keep of the Mighty Pen to its' very foundations. Figures cloaked in concealing robes left Snypiuers' dwelling: Two of same height spoke with a third as they each scribbled quickly upon paper and compared each others work. The third also had a loop of coated wire with a small round object attached to one end that he was speaking into, that he was showing to the other two. A fourth cloaked figure (obviously elderly) carried out a large covered object the shape of a picture frame, he turned to Snypiuer and said, "I'll get him back to his mantle." Snypiuer gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder and replied, "Get some rest. I'll get the announcement out as soon as possible." When everyone had left, Snypiuer noticed the three squirrels and said, "Oh, good. Mr. Moog! I need your assistance if you would be so kind." Mr. Moog gave the other two a look of 'I have no idea what's going on' as he followed Snypiuer into his chambers. Pith and Silvia were about to walk away when a shrill cry of terror came from Snypiuers' chamber. They were knocked off their feet as Mr. Moog crashed into them. They both asked, "What is it!? What's going on!?" Barely able to calm himself enough to talk, Mr. Moog tells them, "He. . . he asked for it!" Pith said, "Asked for what?" and Silvia added, "What did you do!?" Mr. Moog took a deep breath and calmly said, "The purple suit." Pith and Silvia's eyes turned into round circles as their mouths fell open, together, "He. . . didn't. . ." Mr. Moog: "Yes. He called the Oompa Loompas." They all hugged each other as Pith and Silvia said, "Not the Oompa Loompas!" They turned and looked at Snypiuers' chambers as a purple top hat slowly began to emerge from the side of the doorway - perfectly parallel to the floor. It was atop Snypiuers' head and followed by his shoulders, all perfectly parallel to the floor as if he was actually standing at a 90-degree angle to everything else. With a look of madness beyond madness upon his face, he says, "Yes! The Oompa Loompas!" before slowly retreating back behind the door frame. The three looked at each other and screamed in terror before they all passed out from fright. The Call The Pen awoke to the sound of bells rung by little orange men with green hair and dressed in white coveralls on every corner of the Keep. As one, they announced: HEAR YE! HEAR YE! LET IT BE KNOWN, THAT ON JUNE 21, 2010! THERE SHALL BE A ROLL CALL OF ALL MEMBERS OF THE KEEP OF THE MIGHTY PEN! They repeat this for an hour and post notices on every wall with more details. ***************************************************************************************************************** O.K., we need a valid census of ALL members. We need to know how many people we have to work with. So, on June 21st, we are making a special down loadable Mighty Pen logo (or two) only to those who participate. We are also working on getting a podcast going, along with an E-Book of Mighty Pen works. There is hope of a return of awarding geld and a use for said geld. There are big plans in the works, but we need EVERYONE to AT LEAST log in by JUNE 21 and post SOMETHING letting us know your status: if you are at least lurking or checking in without logging in, doing drive-by posting, etc. It will also help to tell us WHY you may not be posting or logging in as much. SO, contact everyone you know and let them know to check in. Will give periodic updates and more specifics as the Roll Call approaches.

O.K., as everyone should know by now - Snypiuers' critic skills BITE!!! BUT, I have FINALLY seen 'Kick-@ss'. Is it 'The Godfather' or any NUMBER of great movies anyone may be able to name? No. It's a comic book movie. It's not 'Spiderman' or 'Iron Man', but it's also not 'Daredevil' or 'Cat Women'. Simply, it could have been better. All this said, I liked it and HAVE to reiterate my LOVE for Hit-Girl! She made me want to go out and adopt my own little girl and train her to be a non-stop killing machine - the adoption idea came to me after my sister (for SOME unknown reason) said I wasn't allowed to watch my 7 year-old niece anymore. You try to order a bullet proof vest for a 7 year-old ONCE! And people get the strangest ideas about you - go figure! Can't wait for the UNRATED DVD!!! *DISCLAIMER: Snypiuer tends to enjoy movies others may not (such as: 'Attack of the Killer Tomatoes', 'Pink Flamingos' and 'Silent Running' along with various other B-Movies and straight to DVD schlock) and his approval of ANY movie is, therefore, not intended to imply that said movie is ACTUALLY good.*

This is good, it felt a little like a different poem in the middle, but worked. I also kind of felt that it was more of a song. Perhaps you could put it to music, or maybe one of the Pennites (like Jason) could do it. On to your other works!!!

Another good one. Noticed that 'The Psychedelic Furs - Love My Way' video popped up next to yours and I thought, "Yeah, that fits!" Keep 'em coming!

Degorram sat starring at the cluttered desk when she heard, what could only be described as, big floppy feet on hard wood floors coming from outside her office. The slapping stopped in the outer office and was replaced by shuffling - as if the creator of said slapping and shuffling was expecting someone to be there. Degorram heard a muffled "Hello?" and was about to get up to look, when the door opened and she saw a sight that made her just freeze in place, mouth wide open in shock. What she saw was an individual dressed (in a FEEBLE attempt) to look like Wyvern. There in the doorway stood Snypiuer: wearing swim fins with pencils taped to the ends for talons, half of an umbrella and a window shade duct taped to his back for wings, a piece of garden hose for a tail and an old football helmet with a suspiciously vibrating electronic device and moldy carrot super glued to it for horns and a traffic cone for a snout - other then a speedo with 'I GELD' vertically (and strategically) sewn into it, that's ALL he was wearing. There was a moment, that seemed to just stretch on and on, where they both just stood, not moving, starring at each other. Snypiuer (timidly): "Heyyyy. . . Degorram. . . whatchya doing?" Degorram: "Uhhh. . . what THE?!" Snypiuer: Looks around nervously. Degorram: "WHY?!" Snypiuer (pure innocence): "What do you mean?" Degorram (slowly): "Why. Are. You. Dressed. Like. THAT?" Snypiuer: Looks at himself and gives her a blank stare. Degorram: "Well?" Snypiuer: "Well? WELL!? Well, I'll. . . I'll. . . I'll tell you!" Degorram: Glares at him. Snypiuer: "I'll. . . it's. . . I'll tell you what it's not!" Degorram: Continues to glare. Snypiuer (defiantly): "It's NOT an attempt to impersonate Wyvern and take over ALL his holdings!" Degorram (disbelievingly): "REALLLYYYY!?" Snypiuer (with bravado): "That's RIGHT! You, young lady, need to learn some manners! I'm an upstanding member of this community! How DARE you even INSINUATE that I would do such a thing!?" Degorram: Crosses arms, taps foot, slowly shakes head and gives him a VERY disapproving look. Snypiuer: "I have NEVER been so insulted and will NOT stand here and take it!" Degorram: Uses EVERY ounce of will power she posses to keep from laughing as Snypiuer TRIES to turn around and angrily leave, only to get tangled up in his costume and stumbled around in a futile attempt to keep from falling. After he actually falls, she has to bite her lip 'till it bleeds and tears roll down her cheek as Snypiuer tries to pull himself up with the desk - only to have the pile of papers he placed his hand on, slide out from under it. The sight of Snypiuer hitting the floor again was too much - she put her face in her hands and stamped her feet as she fought to silence her laughs. Snypiuer: Oblivious to Degorram, finally stands, straightens himself best he can and stomps out, "Good DAY!" Degorram: Falls out of her chair as she hears Snypiuer falling down the stairs.

I'll have whatever the little skeletal rodent is having! Peredhil, under VERY precise conditions (diet, positioning and cave acoustics), "WOMB" would indeed be the sound of an elephant farting in a cave. HOWEVER, barring these PRECISE conditions, the AVERAGE sound of an elephant farting in a cave is more akin to, "mmMWAMPHth!" UNLESS, we are talking about the Laviihian Low Land Cave Elephant of Upper Kelesti (A hybrid creature more closely related to the Hindystii Cave Cow of Carlbadi) which, in deed, DOES make a "WOMB" sound when it farts in a cave. BUT, the fart itself is SILENT! The "WOMB" sound is a nasal vocalization every one of these creatures create when farting for no known scientific reason. Research continues.

Ummmmm. . . that WAS a critique of the poem. Just kidding! Sorry, I could NOT stop myself - I am ashamed. I do like the poem, but that's about as far as my 'critiquing' skills go. Which is even more shameful - 'cause chicks like guys with skills.

Snypiuer: I've watched all the trailers for Kick-@ss (If it's the name of the movie, should it be censored? ) and I HAVE to say that I have fallen head-over-heels, wildly, madly and HOPELESSLY in complete, UTTER LOVE with Hit-Girl! You: DUDE! What is WRONG with you?! Snypiuer: Huh? What? You: She's ELEVEN years old you PERV! Snypiuer: Ahhh. . . WHAT!? I don't. . . You: You're old enough to be her father. HECK! You're almost old enough to be her GRANDfather! Snypiuer: (Stands silently, with a look of TOTAL confusion on his face) You: You're sick! Actually, I'm relatively certain I am now LEGALLY obligated to report you to the Authorities! Snypiuer stares at you with wide eyes and mouth hanging open when, suddenly, an object drops from the ceiling right above him! It is the Legendary, NAY! the no-less-then MYTHICAL, Turtle of Realization (who had been making his way across the ceiling the entire time)! As he falls upon Snypiuer, he swings his giant bat in a mighty downward arc and SHMACK!!! Snypiuers' arms fly out to his sides as if he is reaching for some sort of support and his head appears to ACTUALLY enter his chest cavity - just a little, tiny bit. You: WHAT THE?!?! Snypiuer: (Staggers around) Turtle: (Composes himself, puts his bat away and slowly makes his way out of the room) You: WAS THAT A FRIKIN' TURTLE?!?! WITH A BAT?! Where did it come from?! Snypiuer: (Realizing WHY You think he's a Perv, straightens himself out) Now I understand! You: Huh? What? Snypiuer: What I MEANT was, I'm in love with the CONCEPT of the CHARACTER Hit-Girl! You: Ooohhh!!! Snypiuer: Yeah, the character is just frikin' cool! Sure, the actress that plays her is cute, but she IS a child! Now, if I was her age. . . You: (Worried look returns to your face) Turtle: (Just outside the door, hesitates and begins to turn back around. . .) Snypiuer: (Thoughtfully) Actually, when I WAS her age, I was COMPLETELY clueless and was too big of a goof to even know what to IMAGINE what I would do. Turtle: (With a small smile, shakes his head and leaves) Snypiuer: ANYWAYS, have you SEEN all the trailers? Hit-Girl ROCKS! It just BITES that I won't have any chance to see it 'till the first week of May!

I never know what to say when something bad happens to others. "I'm sorry" doesn't seem right - like MY saying it fixes anything. "Look on the bright-side, no one was hurt" seems kinda flippant. So. . . imagine the perfect thing a person you've never met could ever say to you in this situation to make you feel even a LITTLE bit better and know that I wish I could have come up with that.

HOLY CRAP!!! What EXACTLY are you doing in my closet!? Also, I have NO idea where the neither the make-up/lipstick stains, nor the old French chocolate-box came from.

I like it! (Awkward pause) yeah. . . O.K. then! *Snypiuer REALLY needs to work on his critiquing skills.*

If you were to derez the pixilation, you'd find that Snypiuer has NO idea what he is talking about. Seriously, a mentally deficient monkey with head trauma has more computer knowledge then me. Think Tzimfemme (Quincunx) was working on that problem. Patrick seems to have escaped his forced servitude to the Pen, but you might try sending him a message and see if he responds. Glad to see you around! Uselessly yours (as always),

It's a festival in Austin, TX. held over about a week. It combines a film festival, interactive festival and a music festival. Bands/musicians from all over the world are invited to play in over 70 venues - mainly along 6th street where all the bars and clubs are. There are also panels and conferences. They have a website: sxsw . com and you can get everything you need to know there. To try to get invited to perform in 2010, go to: sonicbids . com/sxsw and you can get all the info you need to know about how to submit an application. Even if you don't get invited to play, it's an amazing event to attend. Not only new talent shows up, there's usually appearances by established artist.

Why, thank you very much!

Savage, Melancholy much? Just kidding! 3 A.M. POSTINGS ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I liked this one a little better then the last one - liked the last one, just like this one more. Ever do SXSW? Anyways, good stuff!

I was born with the soul of a singer, But I never found my voice. The words to my song Never sung, Never heard. I have the the hands of a painter, But I never put brush to canvas. The beauty I imagine Never painted, Never seen. My heart is that of a writer, But I left my words unwritten. The stories I create Never read, Never told. And my spirit is one of greatness, But I never had my grand adventure. A life meant for so much more Never realized, Never lived.

I, like many of you who have (or will) read Wyvern's last post: Wanted to say, "No. You Sir are far too permanent a fixture within this Institution, to even consider the action described. Who, SIR, will read and stamp the applications -APPROVED-? Who, SIR, will take the credit for all of Melba's hard work? Who, SIR, shall: Covet geld, scheme, swindle, hoodwink and boondoggle!? Who, SIR, shall harass, then kiss the girls and make them cry?" I wanted to say, "We GRACIOUSLY accepted your decision to stop your weekly postings under the 'News' forum, what MORE do you want from us?" "You have a responsibility and duty to the Pen! To US!?" Simply put, "What shall WE do without you?" All this and more I wanted to say. . .NAY! Scream out loud! I wanted to shake him forcibly, 'till he came to his senses. But I shall not. Wyvern deserves much more then that. Though I have never even communicated (let alone met) with the individual behind Wyvern outside of these imaginary walls, I have always considered him (like many of you) a friend. Therefore, I shall say, "You are young, with a long life ahead of you. You deserve to live it fully, without the chains and constraints individuals (such as myself) would like to place upon you. I would quote some glib saying about God holding you in his hands while your life is filled with wonder and joy, until he brings you safely back to us - but I don't know any." Wyvern, I envy those who know the individual that 'Wyvern' is but a part of - because, having only had the pleasure of knowing 'Wyvern', I am better for that alone. We can selfishly hope that 'The Pen' is too great a desire for you and you find yourself unable to stay away for long. But, it is more likely you will make every attempt to post and 'check-in' once in a while, 'till one day you find yourself thinking, "It's been so long since I checked, I wonder if the Pen even still exists." Which is O.K., sad. . . but O.K. (Anyone figure out that Snypiuer is long-winded and lacks the ability to come to a tactful 'End' yet?) You have been one of the most prolific and dependable writers here. That level of your presence will be missed - making any future posting by you all the more special and cherished. Keep us in your thoughts and visit as often as you can!

I got nothing. I REALLY wanted to come through, but I fear I let you down. All I could get was one or two lines that simply SUCKED to high heaven. I don't know what to say. I feel ashamed.

*Transfixed by the "Multiquote" button, Ozymandias is oblivious to the fact that behind him has entered the legendary, NAY! the no-less-then MYTHICAL Turtle of Realization. . .* Fear not my friend, it is a slow and painful process, but the outcome is. . . striking! Skins!? SKIN-TIGHT, FOOTY ONE-PIECES FOR EVERYONE!!! YYAAYYY!!!!!! What? Not that kind of skins? But the order has already been sent to the 6'3" Albino Dwarf! Seriously, my knowledge base on these things extends to just this side of, "Magic Box make Snypiuer happy!" (NOT like that! And as stated elsewhere, some of you REALLY need to re-evaluate your thought process!), so I have NO idea of what you speak - but, thanks for the reassurance! I WOULD like to say that if I did know how to do any of these things, that I would help. . . REALLY! I WOULD like to say that! Little known fact: The word "Snypiuer" is a colloquial form of the term "Fat, lazy, good-for-nothing" in the long dead language of the Ancidian Druaghdache - a species of beings SO lazy, they went extinct watching a commercial-free marathon of Japanese Game Shows when the ferret they had hired to pause the satellite feed every few hours as a signal to eat, was accidentally killed trying to splice into an "Adult Entertainment" cable feed (not rreeeaaalllyyyy sure EXACTLY how this killed him, but centuries later, explorers that stumbled upon this long-lost civilization said his surprisingly well preserved corpse was still smiling!). ANYWAYS! The fact that such a species actually had a term to describe an individual whom THEY considered to be a fat, lazy, good-for-nothing. . . well, not really sure if that should engender a sense of pride or not. . . BUT, it is saying something! Turtle: *Slowly draws nearer*

O.K., I'm not a good lyricist, but I was going to give it a try. THEN, you went and offered to kick a puppy. A dilemma now arises. . . will there be a video of said kicking? NOW, don't get me wrong! I am an animal lover. . . no, not THAT kind - you know, some of you REEAALLYY need to re-evaluate your thought process! ANYWAYS, as I was saying, I like animals, ESPECIALLY puppies! But, one can never pass up a good puppy kicking! It's all in the set-up: Will the puppy be facing you? Will there be a running start? How big of a puppy? Will there be an obstacle to impact or will you be going for distance? Can you kick a cat instead (A guaranteed crowd pleaser!)? So MANY variables!

Anyone paying attention will notice the legendary, NAY! the no-less-then MYTHICAL Turtle of Realization enter the room behind Snypiuer and slowly approach him: Snypiuer: O.K., so I'm gone for a while and when I come back. . . I find THIS! WHAT THE. . .!? I don't even know what to call it! Turtle: *Slowly draws nearer* Snypiuer: What is wrong with you people!? Do you HAVE to change EVERYTHING!? Can't you leave well enough alone!? Turtle: *Slowly draws nearer* Snypiuer: You have managed to take everything I hold near and dear and perverted it into this. . . this MONSTROSITY! Turtle: *Slowly draws nearer* Snypiuer: Don't you have ANY respect for TRADITION!? You HAVE to "TRICK-OUT" EVERYTHING!? Turtle: *Slowly draws nearer* Snypiuer: NOOOOO!!!! You HAAVVE to make it all "UP-TO-DATE" and "PROGRESSIVE"! Turtle: *Arrives behind Snypiuer and reaches into his shell* Snypiuer: You know, if I had my druthers, I'd take each and EVERY one of you and. . . Turtle: *Pulls a giant baseball bat from shell and with a MIGHTY swing, takes Snypiuer out just below the knees* WHACK!!! Snypiuer: *For a. . . brief. . . valiant moment, it seems that Snypiuer's feet will stay firmly on the ground. But, sadly, they do not. Then for an even briefer, yet gloriously shining moment, Snypiuer finds himself perfectly parallel to the ground - before he crashes down, his face fervently attempting to become one with the floor* WHUMP!. . . ooof. *After a small exhalation upon impact, Snypiuer remains immobile and silent - too shocked to even register the immense pain he is in* Turtle: *Finding Snypiuer's head at his level now, whispers in his ear* whisper, whisper, whisper. Snypiuer: (Disbelievingly) Really!? Turtle: Whisper, whisper. Snypiuer: (Even more disbelievingly) RRReeeaaaallllllyyyyyy!?!?!? Turtle: Whisper. Snypiuer: All of this was discussed!? AND I even gave some input!? Are you sure!? Turtle: *Pulls a small lap-top from his shell and places it sideways in front of Snypiuer so he may see it* Snypiuer: And how do I know that I wrote all that!? I mean, ANYONE could have. . . Turtle: WHACK!!! *Swinging for the fences, he delivers a crushing blow to Snypiuer's head* Snypiuer: *His one good eye wildly rotating in its' socket, pupil chaotically alternating between a full black disk and a tiny pin-point, Snypiuer is pretty sure the eye-patch over his other eye is barely containing whatever may be behind it, when he comes to the realization that he did know about this all along* OOOHHHH!!!!! Now I remember! Turtle: *Takes his lap-top and bat and slowly leaves the room, ignoring Snypiuer* Snypiuer: Ummm. . . you know, I'm pretty hurt here. Hello!? I think I have a concussion and my legs are most likely broken. Hello!? Anybody there? You know, maybe they're not broken, let me see. *Snypiuer attempts to stand* CRACK!SNAP!GRIND! *The sickening sound of bones snapping and grinding together fills the room as he crashes back down* No. No, they're broken. Hello!? Anyways, place looks good. I have no knowledge what-so-ever on how to do ANY of this stuff, so I have great respect for those who do. BUT, the best thing about change is one can then complain about it! Old-Timer: *Trembly voice* Why I remember back in aught-nine, The Mighty Pen was BROWN! We didn't have all this new fangly whats-its and. . . hey look, it's a June bug, why I remember. . . Now, I can picture Patrick being held captive at the bottom of a pit in the darkened basement of a 6'3" Albino Dwarf (Thyroid problems) and being forced to work on the site: Patrick shields his eyes from the harsh light as his captor (wearing nothing but a skin-tight footy one-piece made from the freshly skinned carcasses of kidnapped stuffed animals) stands at the top of the pit and lowers a basket of suggestions for the site down to him: Captor: It puts what we want on the site. Patrick: Umm, yeah. . . you know, some of this is. . . Captor: It puts what we want on the site! Patrick: Yeaahhh. . . like I was trying to tell you. . . Captor: IT PUTS WHAT WE WANT ON THE SITE OR IT GETS THE COLD WATER! Patrick: Yeaahhh, you do know that the water will ruin the computer. . . right? Captor: IT PUTS WHAT WE WANT ON THE SITE!!! *The Dwarf leaves and shuts off the lights* Patrick: *From the dark - only the glow from the computer screen to give him light* I HAVE A JOB YOU KNOW! I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GO TO IT. . . SOMETIME! (To himself) Someone will look for me. Well, I know it may not be easy to do some things and I DO appreciate what everyone has contributed (while I have done nothing) - still, I shamelessly offer my suggestions: I had it set to turn blue when I signed in, kind of liked that. It would be nice if we had a wide choice of colors (I RRREEAALLLYYY like a very dark Burgundy!) to choose from. Or, how about a variety of backgrounds or the ability to make your own, so that we could "individualize" our Mighty Pen experience? If you could do this, maybe we could hold a contest and the winners' page set up would be used for the public page people see if they are not signed in for the next month? Also, it is kind of confusing to go to a forum and have to go down a few post to get to a new one. Is there any way to once again separate the permanent post at the top of some forums from the ones that change upon the addition of new ones? Finally, what if we were able to send and receive e-mail from TheMightyPen? An advertisement with every e-mail! Could it be set-up to automatically send any e-mail we receive to our regular e-mail accounts so it saves space? I have NO idea how this stuff works! Well, (for now) that's my two cents - I'll expect my change in the form of a cashiers check. Once again, site looks GREAT!

Hjolnai, Greetings and Salutations, I beg your forgiveness as to the ambient temperature of my fair kingdom. I keep it thus, since all the fountains within my kingdom spew the finest of ales and it is required for the drinking pleasures of those whom partake of them. You would be aware of this (and the fact that I am the owner of this castle) had you not so rudely refused the 'Welcome to the Neighborhood' gift basket I sent you (Escorted by a small contingent of dragons, giants, wizards and various other military personnel - which were purely ceremonial, I assure you.) when you first moved in. Not to mention your out-right rebukes of all my subsequent attempts to extend the hand of genuine friendship, such as when I (out of the kindness of my heart) tore down some dilapidated structures you had abandoned along our shared border and evicted the squatters that had been living there - for you (We both know that your assertion that it was a 'city' and the squatters were your 'citizens' was nothing more then a pretense to 'save face' when you so brutally slaughtered the relief workers I had sent to help rebuild). Or, when I sent a small group of assassins personal valets to deliver an invitation to a victory celebration I was planning to have - The insult of your refusal to attend, not to mention your audacity to actually execute my loyal valets, was such that I was simply unable to host said celebration. Still, I am a kind and gentle man - willing to (once again) extend my hand to you, in an attempt to bring our two kingdoms closer together - You might say, "To make them as one." So, having noticed the extremely poor condition of your kingdom (Undoubtedly you are suffering a financial crisis and this is the reason you, yourself, can not afford to keep it heated to a decent temperature - which is nothing to be ashamed of in these economic times), I shall send the full might of my military into your kingdom in a humanitarian effort to 'renovate' it. We will also rid your kingdom of its' vast populace of squatters for you. I fully understand that you are a proud individual and will most likely attempt to refuse my kind assistance. But, rest assured, I will not relent in my effort to help rebuild and repopulate your kingdom, so that you may retire and live out your life in leisure on your own private deserted island or locked tower - whichever you feel will best suit you (That is, if you can survive the rigors of the rebuilding project, of course). Yours in friendship, Snypiuer

Thus, with Wyvern's critique, you see how truly bad I am! That said, I tend to agree with what he wrote.