Zariah

1.) I regret breaking up with my first boyfriend and getting together with my second. My second was a jerk and put me through hell and my first turned his life around and would have been a great friend even if we had broken up, but I ruined that by breaking his heart. 2.) I regret attending Bishop Ireton. I wanted to go to public school but I wasn’t allowed. Instead of speaking up for myself, to be passive to my mom. I was really unhappy there, and it took a huge event to convince my parents that I was better off. And if they had allowed me to go to Mt. Vernon, I would have been a full IB Student with a large amount to college credit and a better chance to have gotten into a great college. 3.) Even though I was unhappy at Ireton, I made some really great friends in Theatre and I could have remained friends if I had not cut off anything Ireton related. And the same thing goes with George Mason; when I left there, I cut off my friends, too. And now, I am left to only have friends from work, and I hope maybe the Pen….please be my friend??? 4.) I regret not taking more walks and not going to D.C. more often. I regret not enjoying the experienced I DID have and writing them down so I could recall them now. 5.) I regret not signing up for yoga, exercise classes, and cardio kickboxing when I had more time. 6.) I regret not being appreciative for all the things I take for granted. 7.) I regret not spending more time with God and His Son. I really miss Him and it’s hard to maintain that relationship. 8.) I regret that I have had super-low self esteem when I could have been happier. I am sure there are others, but these are the ones on my mind.

Zariah awoke from a restless night of sleep. Her nightmares seemed to have come alive that night, and as she turned to her night stand, she could still smell the stench that haunted her in her dreams. It was a stench of rotten fruit. As she stumbled from her bed, it became more pungent that before. As she reached below the bed to grab some air freshener from her box of cleaning supplies, she felt a gooey round object instead. \ “Ewwwww!” she screamed. Immediately, she dropped it and withdrew her hand. It was covered with moldy and gelatinous slime. She ran out the door and washed her hands in the bathroom several times with disinfectant soap. She grabbed 5 sheets of paper towels and pinched her nose as she entered her room. Bending down to peer underneath, she saw the moldy apple. She picked it up with several of the towels and cleaned to floor with anti-bacterial spray. She raced from her room and the building to deliver the reeking muck to the forest. With her bare hands, she dug a hole in the soft dirt. She could feel the soil and ran the flowing earth through the gaps between her finger tips. Snapping out of her daze, she placed the towel rapped apple into the ground and covered it with soil. She patted the ground down and sat down beside her work and recalled how on her trip she felt so close to nature. She considered her actions as a gift to Mother Nature, for it would feed many bugs and enrich the earth. She wandered back to her room and sprayed everywhere with Lysol. It was so strong, that it burned her eyes. She tried to blink enough to have the sting flushed from her eyes, but it was useless. Her sight was blurry, and she was beginning to have a stomach ache. Blindly putting on some clean clothes and her brown cloak, she made it back to the bathroom to once again wash her hands. The water trickled between her fingertips, as the soil had, and she remembered her connection with the Earth. Deciding to revisit the forest, she exited the Pen once again, this time for a peaceful walk. “Perhaps I can call the Crows to share the visit I had with my family tribe. They should be interested to know the happenings in that area so far away.” When she reached a far enough distance from the Pen, she climbed into a tall Oak Tree to begin her breathing exercises. After a clam meditation, she began her calls. Loud and clear Crow speak exited her lips—with vocal chords singing a song, so unique, she was well identified by the animals of the woodland. The first arrival was the crow she named Wanderer, which was because he had been almost as many places that she had. Wanderer joined in her invitation, and soon came Brown Beak. She was fond of Brown Beak and welcomed him to sit on her arm. “Ouch!” she said, “Your claws are sharper than usual. But you can sit on my shoulder, it’s padded.” He nuzzled her cheek, but remained silent as she continued with Wanderer. Not long after Brown Beak came the Three brothers Tip (he had gray tips on three of his feathers), Bright Eyes (His eyes were the color of crimson), and Long Legs (obviously, his legs were long for a crow). The four female Crows seemed to be missing. “Where are Serene, Beauty, Harmony, and Fiery?” Long Legs smiled (the way a crow smiles….it cannot be seen by an unexposed human.) and replied in the tribe language that they were preparing the Winter Nests. Zariah asked first that they share her story with them when she was finished, and they heartily agreed. And so…..she began the tales of her journey.

Zariah stumbled out of bed and sleepily washed her face. She threw on some fresh clothes and a brown cape. As she tripped her way down the staircase from her quarters, Zariah began to recall all the memories she had at the Pen and recalled how much she missed everyone while she was away. Zariah had taken a long trip back to the forest and crow family that had raised her until she was 10. But those adventures she decided to reminisce later, for she saw a sign tacked to a wall in the conservatory tower. Already seeing that she was not the first to put down a name, Zariah sighed in relief. She remembered that she never really got to finish her date with Gwaihir, but the time she did have had been ....interesting and odd....but really nice. She decided she would be interested in auctioning herself off. Zariah reached into her cape pocket and pulled out her trademark crow feather quill and placed her signature on the third line. As she exited the room, she smiled and continued down the hall preoccupied with the wonderful thoughts in her head.

Sometimes (Only sometimes) Do I feel an Empty Longing… A longing to be free: ….from Expectation ...from Obligation ...from Temptation ….from Evaluation. I can try every day (well almost) With sincere Intention To fill my heart: ….with Interaction ….with Relaxation ….with Calm reaction ….with Satisfaction. If I can learn Through experience And find my own way…. I can finally: ....have self-fulfillment ….have decisiveness ….have courage ….have enjoyment in my life. And my journey can lead me onward.

Yeah I understand...I am gonna just copy the poem, b/c I already found it and I don't want to hunt it down to make a link (it's not too long anyways). Oh and yeah you answered it perfectly--thank you!!!

OK a question---can I use a poem that I wrote in past that's somewhere here in the files of the Banquet Room??? (of course I'd post it in the same post as the prose I'd change it into)????

Katzaniel--- ??? I wrote it correctly right??

That's such a sweet and caring idea! Thanks for sharing!

Awwwww sweetie!!!! I'm so sad that you are sick, and for so long, and that it's dragging on and on! You take care, I'll say a prayer, and wish that you get better as soon as possible. (By the way, I'm back) *Hugs* (B/c even though you are contagious right now in person, internet hugs and huggles and glomps are the BEST way to show we care and love you.)

I'll keep you in my prayers too! I hope that everyhting works out to your benefit.

It means so much to me that you all remembered me on my birthday--even though I've been absent for a long time. I have a computer at work so I can pop on as often as I can and *try* to get back into the flow of writing again. Thank you SO much!

Just wanted to put a happy post into this thread! So in honor of Ren and Stimpy: "Sing a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy song" "Sing a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy song" "Sing a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy song" "Blah Blah Blah Blah...(I don't know the rest if you didn't notice)..." Anyways...adding the smiley's and everyone be happy....even our lost Pennite for moving on to more suitable places...if you hate it here, then I hope, (I truly do) that you find another place you like!!!! ~Happy!~ :wizzie:

In the doggie’s fur, there was a small family of 35 ticks. They were about to sit down for dinner when suddenly they were interrupted by a huge mollusk who took a bite out of their host. Seven of them-- Sneaky, Slimy, Suckley, Tricky and Tickey (twins), Pinchers, and Bob (He was the runt)---were all thrown out of their home and landed upon the vicious Mollusk. It was their worst nightmare! No fur or any way to feed themselves! Mollusk blood was not even an option.... Bob asked, "Do mollusks even have blood?" and he receive a giant knock on his beady little head from Sneaky...... Meanwhile, still attached to the dog. The mother and father ticks were really upset! They began to set a plot to rescue their sons from the horrible creature who stole them away. ....and Bob, as dumb as a gnat, hit Sneaky back with such force, that he smushed both of them into the Mollusk and that was the end of Sneaky and Bob...the Mollusk was so angry and then heightened by the irritation on his back and led his rage onto a rampage, setting off for something more. Slimy, Suckly, Tricky and Ticky, and Suckly sank in sorrow for the loss of their beloved brothers. ****In Honor of the newly departed, I would ask each Pen member to please bow their heads in silence and send some sympathy to the parents and siblings of Sneaky and Bob. ****

I wish you the happiest day today and I'm so glad that you were born!!! You are an incredible person and I admore the strengths you exhibit here at the Pen.

Without hesitation, I downloaded this song. It is quite above and beyond amazing what talent is here at the Pen...and I absolutely LOVED this piece. I am a fan of following local bands around in Alexandria and D.C.; my sister introduced me to this hobby when I was young. It's been a while since I heard acoustic voice to bring a sense of brightness in my heart. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing the talents that each of you have. It's amazing what can happen when people work together. This not only was a creative way to end the bachelor's auction, but reinforce that music and poetry go hand in hand. I am now going to conclude with a "Wow" and simply *Opens mouth in awe*....

As they strolled forward, Zariah began her monologue in response to Gwai's interested question. "Oh yes, Crows carry an intelligence that only an interested creature could comprehend. Often keen to sound and movements, Crows remain scavengers because they do not wish to harm a living animal. You would think that they'd hunt for mice and other smaller birds like the owl or falcon might do, but most kind Crows, live on the remains from other kills. Crows, naturally love to fly and find amusement in terrifying and annoying farmers....they hesitate to tell me why, but there is a humor they share with one another over the matter, and I assume it carries some sort of tradition carrying back hundreds of years....I leave it to them to enjoy. What I appreciate about Crows is that they share with me the humors they find in each day. Unlike vultures, they carry a more justified and mature stance when it comes to living....and they don’t really get along with other scavenger bird species. Since they raised me, I have learned the different crow languages. They vary from their particular flocks, but most carry a singular similar language- just as English flows as a worldwide connector language. They can tell me about what other plants and animals are saying, feeling....but I do understand the trees. Perhaps it is because I lived in them, they were my home for years....but I am connected to them in a way that no other place can possibly be for me. That is why I am always in the forest...." With this, she felt a grumble in her tummy, this time quite loud. Embarrassed, she followed Gwai to their destination place and watched him spread the various foods down. Oh, finally! I am so ready to eat....now, where's the silverware??? She paused a moment and still no response so finally she grinned, maybe a bit shyly and asked "Did we bring silverware?" He blushed. "Umm... She broke out into a giggling fit and smiled at him. "It seems to fit this date, anyways....I am used to eating with my hands anyways...let's dig in!!!!" Gwaihir still seemed a bit embarrassed, but followed Zariah's lead as she began to scarf down the food. Halfway through the omelet, she realized her bad manners, and slowed down. "Errr, so sorry, I was really hungry." Her flushed face was as red as an apple.

This contest is coming to a close! So any still interested you have until August 13th to post! I am excited to read and judge!

A well deserved and joyous occasion! Congrats!

As Gwaihir exited toward the kitchen, Zariah stood up and leaned against the wall….she could hear some commotion going on from where he had gone, and wondered what was going on. Quietly, she inched toward the kitchen to spy on what he was up to. She peered into the doorway and saw Wyvern harassing the cook. Gwaihir looked confused and didn’t know what dish to pick up off the table. She then heard Wyvern mention something about thinking he’d win a contest of some sort, and she wondered what he was up to… Suddenly, Gwaihir winked at the miserable cook and then whisked his omelets onto the tray and ran. Ran right into Zariah, that is. She wasn’t fast enough to avoid his sprint and he fell right on top of her. Oddly enough, the omelets flipped in the air and landed back on the grounded tray. Zariah turned bright red, because she was underneath Gwaihir and knew that she was unable to pretend that she was uninterested any longer. She suddenly spoke a river of words that seemed to catch Gwaihir more off guard then their clash and collapse. “I like plants and I like communicating with you even if you can’t understand me, and I like being told I a, pretty, thank you, and….and…I DON’T hate you at all….I’ve never been on a date before…and I do like the jungle because I lived in the woods most of my life….and I speak to crows….and didn’t mean to make you feel bad, I was laughing at how silly I was being so nervous….and I sounded like a really foolish icky person, because I used to be emotionless and then I cam here to the Pen and I am not anymore….but it’s hard sometimes because I get confused about what I feel and what means what….and…” All of a sudden, she looked over to her side and saw the omelets were unscathed. She laughed and smiled at Gwaihir and said, “Hey, at least the food is okay? Let’s get out of here and go on our date? What do you say?” All of a sudden, a complete relief flowed through her, and she was no longer feeling out of place.

As she followed Gwai's lead, she resolved to keep her fluttery tummy and swelling giddiness to herself. I don't know if he even knows how I am feeling about all of this. Should I tell him that this is my first date? Should I just act casual? I think I might scare him away if I share how I am feeling....so I'm just gonna act like my OLD self....and put up my best (errr...straightest) poker face..... She remembered the Ball and giggled in her head, careful to act as strict as a Crow observing his prey. As Gwai began to elaborate about the location of the date being in the jungle, she was shocked that he enjoyed the outdoors as much as he did. She had never been to a tropical-like jungle, but the vast forests and terrain she had spent her lifetime exploring had given her the passion that he was sharing with her. He's QUITE a talker....I wonder if it's nervousness or just his way of talking....He's talking about partnerships between the plants....*sigh* That’s so romantic....is he hinting at something...or just blabbing...or....(Whew, I'm good at this poker-face thing).....he's so *sigh*.....(No, Zariah! This is BAD, snap OUT of it! Jungle ODD, Jungle WEIRD! A normal girl would think this strange...act like it's weird!) Grizzlies, I remember fighting one of those once....it was quite a challenge, but I ended up cornering him into a cliff side and spearing him in the leg....he panicked and I climbed up and tree and jumped on the cliff and watched him run deep into the woods...Mother Crow told me later that the medicine hermit healed his wounds and the bear made an oath to never attack me again....but Grizzlies in the jungle??? Is he sure about this??? I should probably go back and get my weaponry...as for clomping around in heels in the jungle.... Zariah wondered if she should reveal her past experiences or let him proceed with his explanation....she chose to humor him and play the role of clueless and carefree girl. He's so cute (as in look at him so interested in telling me about all this....)...and he wants to play protector.... As he spoke of the hypothetical bear grumbling, her tummy lost the butterflies and began to feel a hunger grumble herself.... Awwww, and he'll ASK the plants to not hurt my dress....that's so cute! She lost disciple and laughed out loud. "Are we going to dinner?" Her tummy was getting louder. Too much out there? He's shy too! What am I thinking?! This is absurd....he's so child-like....it's as if he's innocent and all.... She then heard that he was a vegetarian. His kindness overwhelms me....awww BEAUTIFUL dinner....omlette...errrr...OMLETTE?? Oooh perhaps he's clumsy like me....heeheehee.... Again losing her disciple, she giggled wildly. "Oh! Err...Yes, should pretty neat." Neat??!! That’s the word I used?? Oh great! He must think I HATE this idea! "I mean, I think it's a great idea. And I respect your vegetarianism." VEGITARIANISM??!! What has gotten in to me???!! "I....eh...heh...." Zariah gave him a look of shame and was beet red. She plopped down on the floor and covered her face with her hands. "I dihdnt mehn to beh suh...", she removed her hands, "I didn't mean to be so difficult. Let me start over. I'll wait right here and compose myself while you get the picnic ready for our excursion." She smiled for the first time, and glanced into Gwai's eyes with her own teary expression of resolution to make this date work.

The sky was getting darker, as Zariah awoke from her nap. Grasping the blanket around her, she saw all the items she had laid on her bad strewn across the floor beside her….she grumbled as she realized that she had pulled her blanket from her bed toppling everything to the floor….. A bit frazzled, she picked everything up, and looked at the clock on her desk. Six forty-five? I need to get started right away! Oh my…how am I going to be ready by eight if I don’t start now??? Dressing took her fifteen minutes and quite surprised, Zariah didn’t know what to do for an hour. She pulled out a new book, titled “Angels and Demons” and began to read. She liked the other book she had read by Dan Brown entitled “The Da Vinci Code” so she had high hopes for this one as well. “….and on went the….” Knock, knock. Zariah jumped out of her seat, completely startled and sweetly spoke a few words to gain some spare seconds. “Just a minute, please.” Zariah looked at the clock. 8:03 PM. She had lost track of time, but she was fully dressed and looking rather dashing. She brushed off her dress and fixed her hair. She opened the door to find Gwaihir dressed rather nicely…at least the pants were nice. He was quite taken aback… Zariah blushed as she spoke quietly. “Hello, let me get my purse and we can be on our way.” With that, she grabbed her bag from the bed and linked arms with him as she shut the door behind her.

Excited as she was, Zariah knew that this date would be her very first ever. At almost 21, she had never had TAKEN any of the opportunities she had be given, to get to know any guys at all....and, well the only one she could begin to think of that was certainly unreliable and sort of like a brother....Crow was pretty sure it was better left at a dead end there. She remembered the episode at the Ball and laughed to herself. It was quite a disaster, but SO MUCH fun! She had been opened into a new world of interesting characters and friends that she could only relate to the way she could with her Crow Clan back home. And at first, Crow was her only friend, but now she was getting to know so many more! She wondered how she was going to act tonight, since she was feeling a bit light headed and knots in her tummy. Nervous? I'm nervous? What could I POSSIBLY be nervous about? It's just Gwai and he's not scary or anything....and...I mean, I WON him at the bachelors auction....so it's like probably a chore to him or charity or something....this shouldn't be making me nervous!!! Scatterbrained, Zariah sat on her bed and looked around her room for inspiration. She opened the wooden trunk at the bottom of her bed and pulled out a small package wrapped in brown paper and a pretty red bow. I've saved this for a special occasion....and it's better now than I can see it being used in the future.... Carefully, she untied the ribbon and opened it up. Inside was a black strapless knee length dress, with satin trim on the top and bottom. I guess this would count as my 'sexy black dress'??? I've never worn anything like this before....let's just hope I don’t trip in my heels...errr....maybe I SHOULDN'T wear any heels.... After laying out her dress, she found some white evening gloves and a pear tiara....and last but not least, her pear earrings and necklace were piled on the bed. Browsing through the bottom of her closet, she found a pair of strappy white heels, (luckily short heels) and sighed as she set them at the foot of her bed. Exhausted, Zariah plopped on the floor, and glanced at the ceiling....her stomach no longer tightened....it fluttered with excitement, knowing tonight would be a night she'd never forget (be it splendorous or disastrous, she knew it'd be fun).

I always think of yin and yang, where one thing is bad, another is good. Maybe you will encounter the good sometime in the near future... Or, you can find solace in your friends and pals at the Pen.... Many of us LOVE and APPRECIATE you, Salinye, and hope that whatever is down for you, can be turned right side up and be a blessing.... If not, just remember one of my favorite slogans "Sh*t happens." There's always another tomorrow..... Feel better soon! *hugs* -Katy

These are all GREAT! Thanks for participating!

Yey! I'm glad you are back too! check out what's been going on at the poetry guild! Hope you write more poems! *Hugs* Welcome home!