Zariah

Father Time: Winter to Spring Crying to the deep wind, Making his presence known, Naked under filtered sky, He wakes the slumbering winter With great abundance of life, His open heart bleeds forth, Touching those who need love And weakening cold intentions Upon the open fields He blankets sleeping minds Nurturing many for their trial In approaching rebirth

wow okay I feel stupid. Thanks for the clarification.

For any Simpson fans out there.... "D'Oh"

Well I am a grammar freak so... I at first noticed: 1.) Grandma in the plural is NOT Grandma's. It is Grandmas. 2.) Cook should not be capitalized. 3.) Christmas should be capitalized 4.) Sweater should not be capitalized. 5.) Wal-Mart should be capitalized. 6.) "Your so great" should be "You're so great" 7.) Various commas must be added. You are sweet to remember your grandma; that's a thoughtful act.

You are such a touching writer. I can't place the reason, wheter it be content, technique, or craft, but you truly have a strong skill.

Very creative use of font adjustment. One time, I created an entire picture out of wrds from my poetry, so I appreciate your creativity. Also, I like your rhyming and use of language. Write more!

Very very nice. The only suggestion I would make is to not say "some ice", it just sticks out a bit to me....But that's an opinion..not even worthy of your consideration. Excellent. Please write more!!!!

I think this could be a bit more powerful, if you used stronger adjectives... perhaps a bit more explosive. I like it though. Suggestion: Do not repeat the work growing at the end...used a different synonym fr it.

I definately feel the mood of movement, and I like the altering of being calm and then tense, fast and slow, stopping and going. This is really great.

Lines....cannot find me today. (only words) -solitude -bravery - flight -blessings sigh......begin again. This time with.... ...with one... one.... (I forgot the word.) Lines!!! Where have you gone!??? Grunt. Okay, rhyming is a start... I hope with you to never part. For you're the one wo stole my heart. (Oh geezzzz that was corney!!!) I WILL WILL WILL DO THIS!!!!! Brave bats take their flight In the solitude of night. Bless'd am I to see this sight! By golly, I think I've got it! :woot: *sinks into chair in a panting sweat, now aware that she's experiencing writers' block.* http://www.themightypen.net/public/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif

I enjoy your techniques and style of writing Question- Where is the segway from money/ power to love? I fell a bit lost with this "connection" of calculation and worth. I like the closing. Overall I think that you should stick with one aspect and then branch it out with your views instead of trying to tie a bunch of them together. Excellent ideas and great techniques!

I really love this poem, Rune. I can imagine this as a Native American chant. I can see this as recited with some spiritual flute music in the background. I think this is so much like me, and it's great to find someone who is similiar to me.

My favorite stanza is the last: " I watch you barrel, By and by life spins, As of now it seems, Not only I am pained. " I think this could be added to.... Perhaps a new stanza that describes what esle you are other than pained. (Just a suggestion?) You have a creative way of phraseology.

This really caught me in the throat. I know what it is like on both ends of this situation. I like the rhyme. The choice of words give it a tone of sadness and anger, but not an attacking anger- a message to someone, to anyone really. I hope that those people who take advantage of others' generosity can open their eyes to how others feel. Thank you for writing this poem.

oooooo, that poem really touched me. I really understand you and this feeling. And I can tell you right now, that the quote "It's better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all" Is clearly evident by the feeling you have experienced. Also on a more focus note of writing, I think this is clearly an example of excellent poetry. Please write more!

In response to Tasslehoff, I can understand how you feel about feeling depressed, and all... I won't get specific, since this is a public site, but I feel for you. When I was a sophomore, I was really in a tight situation in my home life and my social life (or controlling abusive ex) and writing seemed to be my last resort for self expression. I realized that I had a degree of talent and I could create pieces that weren't so depressing, and it as a tool, actually PULLED me out in a way. Now, as a senior after a junior year of recovery, I write as a stress release, but also as a passion and a way to explore myself and other people. I see the Pen as a place to expand, and I am learning more about myself through my writing and others too. I was never really "computer/internet" smart and so I never actually knew there were forums like this. but I am lucky to have found my second home. (My first one is Nyyark's Nest), So now, I am able to express all the other emotions I posess as well. I hope that you can overcome the suffering you are going through, and be a happier person BECAUSE of the Pen. I write because I am a very emotionally intense person, and I cannot withhold increased amounts in my mind/body/soul or I will explode. So I can write as a medium of emotional art. I create pieces that I can appreciate and also aim to either enjoy or improve. I visualize the threee passions of my life: Writing, Theater, and Art as crafts of exploration and I am even more satisfied the more I contribute to each one in my life. SO I write because it is a passion and a life tool.

hahahahaaaa! Wow! Am I sure glad I'm not on your bad side! Very amusing and creative.

well I have to say that you are really creative and talented. Thank you for using a line of mine!

Letter from a Queen to her husband, who has been bed ridden in depression due to his deteriorating kingdom. He has refused to see her, or accept her messages. She has written this following as a last attempt to guide him to his duty, as a husband and a King. She has indicated that if he refuses this last letter, she is leaving him forever and appointing her son, Horan, (not the King's own, but hers from a previous marriage-but the only male heir) as the new King. She knows that Horan is not the best for any position of authority, but this coupled with her threat of leaving is the Queen's final attempt at pulling the King from his self pity. How I have missed thee, O Love- So many times I have yearned to feel your touch- To melt in your arms- And whisper divine thoughts in your ear- But mostly to gaze deep within your eyes- Encapturing your soul so full of sorrow. I, too, want to wallow, Oh sweet prince of lonliness- How I desire your tempting sadness- I am driven to fix your pain and discomfort- And gladly take these in exchange for you awakening- Driven into hunger, I bow before you, in desperation. I beg, like a groveling servant- Redeem yourself and cast this selfishness aside. Envision the larger mass and take your throne. See the future you can create as King. Time is on your side, one again. So shall you die with my thoughts in your heart, If you cannot understand my wishes, When the sun has risen over the bare kingdom, Then you shall begin to see my reasons. In the thirst of temptation, you will gain strength, If evil taketh from the servants as myself, My effort is rewarded by you or by death See me as your love, and not ill mannered. Come now! I mean to do you well, For the sake of those here and to come. I cast a plague upon your arrogance. If you refue to take my hand, You will lose me, and all your people.

I REALLY like this! It's a great situation to put in the time period. I was chuckling all the way through. It'd be cool if you added more.

okay, thank you to all readers. I edited the grammer. I guess I didn't check it when I submitted it. (Hey, it was late and all). By clarification to certain peple, this has nothing to do with me. I was writing from a different persona. Okay, well keep on posting.

This is a story about a gal who learns to deal with her relationships. The dialogue in the ( ), represents her conversing with her inner consciousness. She grows from an immature gal to a young lady, no longer dependant for others to make her happy. Her imdependance marks the begining of being able to TRULY experience the lif she shall lead. I, myself, am an actress, so this could be performed as a skit, and probably improved,but I created this on a whim and decided to post it. Anger. Why? (Your paths lead in different directions.) Can't I keep him? (Not if you can't let him go.) I don't want to let go. I finally found what I want. (But are you really sure he's the one?) Yes, he's what I want forever!!! (WAKE UP and realize the truth!) STOP yelling at me, GO AWAY, he's mine! Resentment. I never asked to be in love. (It's a part of being human) I don't want to lose again. (You will, we ALL will.) I can't bear it. (Suck it up, kid) I HATE you, love. I DESPISE you, heart. This human emotion will destroy me. (Not if you don't let it) I regret ever loving anyone. Hope. (Well, maybe it's for the best.) I know it is, he needs a good start. Maybe it'll work out, even. (That depends on him, not you) I suppose it is all meant to be in the scheme of things, right? (Right.) Right.... I can always hope. Pain. These tears aren't even close to releasing my pain. My heart aches. I can't take this!It's not fair! (Life's not fair, get used to it.) Why me? Huh? What did I do to deserve this? I only wanted happiness, and now I suffer. (So what! So does everyone, why are you different?) But he was my everything, and it's all gonna go away. (Geez... I can't deal with this anymore, GET OVER it.) Depression. Who cares anymore. I'm going back to sleep. (You have to keep your own life.) Eh, whatever. Nothing matters. (YES, or else you wouldn't be avoiding it.) Whatever. (Whatever?!! You need to GROW up) Why? What's the use? To suffer more? (Yes, and to experience happiness, too.) It's all really pain. (How will you know if you don't try? Giving it a chance. Yeah, so I met this gal today at the coffee shop I go to. She and I talked a bit and decided to have lunch tomorrow. (Really? See, friends can fill that void.) I guess...who knows maybe she has a brother... (Oh great, here we go AGAIN....) No, no... I mean to hang with.. FRIENDS. I swear, I can be fine on my own. Really. (I knew you could, all along kid... You'll be just fine.) Okay. Yeah? I'm okay and you? (I'm great. How's the new job?) Good, good. A lotta work, but fufilling. I have this guy I'm seein'. He just popped up in my life. (Do you think it'll...??)- - I dunno, but I've learned to deal now. I've learned to deal. To go with the flow. To be okay.

Thank you Vlad for recognizing Peredhil's HUGE work and effort in this. Thank you SO MUCH for all your work. I really hope this can be an almost"fresh" start to a better place of sharing and growing. I know that times are stressful for everyone here in the world, everyone in the pen, and in particular for Rune and Peredhil who found the time (or created it/stole it from other activities) and on behalf of ALL the members here and ALL to come, you are VERY much apprecited for all your work and effort. Words cannot express our gratitude....except for Vlad, who wrote a great poem. Peredhil deserves a basket of cupcakes (as long as he promises not to take them to Everquest and feed them to random players). You remain in my thoughts. TAKE CARE!!!!!!!!

Thank you, I appreciate the clarification. Iplan on interacting with members... I have really been in the background so to speak, sorta "gettin the feel" for the membersand their RP characters, etc. This i just a notice I guess to say hello, and I hope to meet everyone at some point! --Maybe, if I scruffle up enugh courage- I will even create and interact with a RP character of my own...

Crowgirl1126 here. I come over as an initiate. This means, I was initiated and I reside in the lowest rank. (However I am really confused now b/c I see some people posted as in the poet group- perhaps that is the next rank... I don't know, maybe peredhil can figure out this all, heh, on my confusion that is) Sorry for my lack of understanding and compliance, as you can tell, I am confused...a lot in fact....so maybe that fits as a title? Perhaps I could be identified for my custom title as " The confused one"