FREESTYLE TIME!

[AshtonBlades]

Hey yo, I spin off rhymes to pass the time,

Even Tupac Shakur would say my rap is sublime,

I kill the mic with my different possibllities,

I spit it out like fire, with rapid agility,

You're just a waste of the rap game kid,

I'll just overpower you, like System Id,

The stuff you spit would make Biggie ashamed,

So just go home, forget it, you can't stay in the game,

Come see this, I'm just a poetical genius,

My rap will hit with attacks like Zemus,

Peace out, I'm done, I goin' outta here,

Come challenge me if you want but beware!

Edited March 10, 2003 by AshtonBlades

[Peredhil]

While I'm not the most educated on hip-hop, this sounds pretty tight to me.

[The Portrait of Zool]

Come on Master P... You KNOW you want to!

[Alaeha]

*laughs* Oh dear... Am I to critique the poem, or spout off random unmetered couplets?

[Tasslehoff]

Yo yo Yo, fo shizzo, that was tighite my home g dog. Keep it real yo.. peace

 

*special handshake*

[Deadly Nightshade]

Pats Tasslehoff's shoulder chuckling I would stick with poems my friend

[Alaeha]

*Sets aside real poetry for a time*

 

You say you're the best at the making of rhyme,

I tell you at once that you can't e'en keep time

and you couldn't keep meter to save your own life

so give it up now, save yourself from the strife

of trying to beat one who's mistress of verse.

So give up, give in, 'cause it only gets worse

when you're trying to fight one who cannot be fought,

one who's found in her poems what elsewhere she's sought.

 

I'm sayin' it now and I'll say it again,

You were silly to say such a thing at the Pen.

 

You're dealing with poets far better than I,

and writers of prose that can make you ask why

all the world is filled with this trouble and strife,

or why we continue to cling to this life.

So save yourself trouble, and don't get entombed

in a contest in which it is known that you're doomed.

 

I've said it before, now I say it again:

It was silly to post such a thing at the Pen.

 

But in a slightly less belligerent and challenging (not to mention insulting) style: Glad to see such a thing come up, It was fun coming up with the rhymes on the fly like that. Just had to adopt that tone to get it to flow right, it was nothing personal.

[Zariah]

Go Alaeha. Now that's the combo of a "Master P" and a "masterpiece"... (get it? rap-Master P and classic poetry-masterpiece)... oh I am sooo punny!....I meant funny.

Who can beat Alaeha?

[Wyvern]

Battling! I love punchline fests, though admittedly I ain't all that good at them personally... it's all in good fun, though! Since it's all off the top of the dome in freestyling, it shouldn't take more than a coupla minutes, which I currently have time for. My apologies in advance for anything that comes off as offensive, as that's how it goes in punchline battles. I don't mean anything personally, it's all in the good fun of battling. ;-)

 

Response to Alaeha's battle rap (I take it we're doing it in order of who writes'em, yes?):

 

Step back! The wyvern's coming heated on the track

Throwing vicious freestyle verses, ain't no time to react

Alaeha? Aloha... I send that ass to Hawaii

Skew you on a grill with pineapple and some kawaiis

Silly posting these at the Pen? Not as ludicrous as your verse

I'll ditch your limo or your cameri have you cruising in a hearse

Your poems seek you elsewhere, yo... you better run and go find'em

Before I smash that wack ass to pieces and smite your eyes to blind'em

Leave you breathing out of a tube connected to a jar of killer bees

And have you feeling less fresh than a candy store burglar spree

Yo, and if I become entombed... I'm gonna be a pharoah

With my own pyramind while you lay in a casket hella narrow

Listen... not only can I keep my meter to save my life

I can use it to end yours, wit sharper than a knife

An' slicker than the area surrounding a crashed oil tanker

Next time you try to bite rhymes, this rap... you can thank'er

But hey, I'mma save myself all the effort and time

And be out with one verse while you think over my lines

Peace!

 

These lines mostly written off the top of my head... leeet's get reeeaaaaddddy to ruuuuuummmmmmmmbbbbbbbble!

 

P.S: I like what others have come up with so far, most amusing...

[Seii]

Though I hate to nitpick (ok, I lied ) I find it the funniest that the original post was apparently edited. Isn't freestyling totally off the top of your head? OK, so I'm not the most knowledgeable.....just found it funny.

 

I would try my own freestyling, but I'm too tired to chain more than like two words together at a time.

 

Typos galore if I tried, I bet...

[Tasslehoff]

*w00t* GO WYVERN!

[Alaeha]

You say that a pyramid'll be your tomb,

but you're spinnin' a tail that's unfit for the loom

of the lowliest of weavers or the poorest of the bards,

so I'll shatter your delusions, and I'll be untouched by shards.

For there's just no substance to your unwarranted brag,

your words betray you, neo-dragon, with the way they snag

on the tongue as you read them, and the rhyming doesn't work,

so the chrome dome isn't functioning, the gleam's it's only perk.

Give up, give in, there's no way that you can keep

the challenge going on when you crawl and I can leap

o'er the heads of the challengers who think that they can fight

with their words, well I'll set you straight, you know that I am right.

 

And you know it's nothing personal, this is my chance to talk,

but it's not e'en half empty 'cause you know I walk the walk

if you find me offensive, then you'll just have to live,

cause I will not apologize and mercy I won't give.

[Peredhil]

Wow you all are far too grand for me

I can only talk about others Politely

Your freestyle rapping is totally hip

But this Half-Elven Ancient's too old for the trip.

Ashton has dazzled and started the show

Edited for spelling to educate the slow

Aleaha continued and showed such good stuff

All fire and courage while talking so rough

Then Wyvernmatic jumped in and started to spin

I thought that I'd seen nearly everything then

But Aleaha came back from her buffing quite strong

Will Ash' or Wyvie reply, or Newcomer join throng

This Polite old Bard has nothing but praise

His voice in admiration he only can raise

He can't trash talk or be mean to save pride or life

He dispenses his platitude, hugs all to amelorate the strife

My small rant of gratitude is goin' out to you

'Cause more words will come before this thread is through

So now I'll creak back into shadows and watch

Least my lame tongue y'all's freestyling flow will botch.

 

The Oldster retreats to his chair with a sigh

of delight to see all the Youngsters come in and try

to entertain the Pen and all of her Guests

By slingin' words together in vieing for best.

[whynotsin]

Master of the kind,

You blow my mind

Keeping the rhyme ,

With all in mind

Lets spread the love

And keep to the wall,

Listen to the ol Buddha

He had a clue.

No need for anything but clarity of mind

But keep the joust going

See it through,

Into the shadows with the half elf I go,

To drink a friendly cup of tea.

[The Death of Rats]

The little rat one

comes to start some

poppin' rhymes

in crayon time

Weapon of choice

without a voice

He's capcapcappin' off

like a machine gun

his own salvo

into this battle

 

__________________________

 

Alaeha you did not just dis

poetry and rhymes

with power like this

I've been walkin this earth

through toil and strife

You think you've seen

a lot in this life

I never needed one son

t'get things done

My boss he carrys

the very big gun

___________________________

 

 

___________________________

 

One day he cut me loose

tsearch for his truth

and mine as well

lemme tell ya at first

it was,

well....

so here I walk and here I stay

I do not talk no not in your way

_____________________________

 

_______________________________

 

 

But scrap I've not found

to make me back down

In the land of fools you'd

wear the crown

if you come and mess

with this

rapper that dream

goodbye you can kiss

______________________________________

Edited March 12, 2003 by The Death of Rats

[AshtonBlades]

Yo, why do you try to see me with amateur crap?

Battlin' with me, you're just walkin' into a trap,

BladeMan startin' this freestyle up,

I fizzle you faster, than Sprite in a paper cup,

Save your beginner crap, for all of the rest,

You rockin' with me, you rock with the best,

Yo, all my rap is illmatic,

I spit it so good, it'll make you an addict,

Plus, I'm sorry but you can't step with me,

I pound you, drown you, then surround sound you,

My rap will surround you with static,

So quit the rap game, and stop while your at it.

[Alaeha]

So you want to play tough, just because you started out?

Well I'll put you in your place, 'cause you're not what it's about.

And you want to throw your crap around,

insult-fests so tightly wound

that you can't step anywhere

this ground's slippery, beware.

When you started out this battle,

I could hear your ghost-chains rattle.

 

You're a ghost from the past. It's over, you're through.

Now go and take your seat, or you'll find you wear my shoe.

Get out of here, go back, you're done, there's no way

you can fizzle anyone, so it's time for me to say:

 

It was silly, and funny, and absolutely mad

to start this and hope to win it, so I hope that you aren't sad

'cause it just would not be sporting and it wouldn't be too nice

to suck blood from hands that feed you, but it will have to suffice

to express my best wishes when you say your farewell,

now I'm done with this rhyming, and I've still another shell.

 

Several, actually... But that's beside the point. When you get sick of my neorap, let me know. (I can't stand rap, so I shan't call this such)

[The Big Pointy One]

*As soon as Alaeha drops her last line, the lights go dim and scratching can be heard. The scratching of a vintage vinyl record. A spotlight appears and Mr.Bunny can be seen, decked out to the max, headphones covering his little head. He let's the record spin free for a moment, and an old verse from some unknown band from ages past plays, then Mr.B starts spinning and scratching like mad. He stops for a moment, another spotlight comes on, and sticks appears. Mr.B hits a massive bassline, and Stick falls up, revealing another Stick. Chaos ensues*

 

(Stick 2:)

Heh, look at that dope

he couldn't even cope

Mr.B's phat beat

He fell to his feet

man that's so weak!

 

*Stick stands up and dusts himself off*

 

Weak? Like your knees?

When you see killer bees?

C'mon man, you don't compare

I make your girlfriend stare;

stutter, I spread 'er like butter

And i went too with that line;

sent a shiver down her spine

that's much better, what?

 

Ha, right, your rhythm is flat

Me, i'm the hippest cat

So take a step back while I attack

with my lyrics that you can't even stand

go back to your wussy l'il boy band

Seriously, what are you, some back-sync boy

or maybe you'd rather be someone's love toy

Oh look, I'm taking a wrong turn

My words, they're starting to burn

It's alright, I'll pass the mic back to you...

 

Ha, you know what?

 

What man?

 

We both suck, so I'm gonna pass the mic on to the one, the only

Our phat d.j. he's looking bored up there, kinda lonely

 

(Both Sticks:)

 

Hit it Mr.Bunny!

 

*After spinning a few more beats, Mr.Bunny hops onto the floor between the two Sticks*

 

"..."

 

Yeah!

 

"..."

 

Word!

 

"..."

 

That's the stuff Mr.B!

But that's enough, back to me.

Stick number two, enough of you

I'm gonna bring you pain, meet the archer from spain!

El-bow!

 

*Stick 1 smacks Stick 2 with his elbow*

 

Ow!

 

That's right, you silly imposter

I'm removing you from this roster

There's only room for one Stick here

And well, bud, your lines are queer

I mean, they're weird

I've never heard

of someone better than me, not even me

but I'm not you, and you're not me

So don't go dropping your ill verses and lines

'Cause I'll serve you a million more times.

Peace.

 

 

 

(Heh, this was so silly; I suck... But it's also kinda an inside joke, to a few people from the IRC chat )

[Peredhil]

That Mr. Bunny! No wonder he's a Bard!

I could try a hundred days and not equal

the tight eloquence of his "...", too hard!

When he followed with "..." I nearly fell off my chair!

How could any rap after him? I'd be filled with dispair.

Mr. Bunny, Bard of Terra lost in the past

Spinning and scratch and freestyling so fast

What a singer! What a speaker! How can he be so cool?

Music and words, chants and rhymes are obviously his tool.

 

Wow!

[AshtonBlades]

So you want to play tough, just because you started out?

Well I'll put you in your place, 'cause you're not what it's about.

And you want to throw your crap around,

insult-fests so tightly wound

that you can't step anywhere

this ground's slippery, beware.

When you started out this battle,

I could hear your ghost-chains rattle.

 

You're a ghost from the past. It's over, you're through.

Now go and take your seat, or you'll find you wear my shoe.

Get out of here, go back, you're done, there's no way

you can fizzle anyone, so it's time for me to say:

 

It was silly, and funny, and absolutely mad

to start this and hope to win it, so I hope that you aren't sad

'cause it just would not be sporting and it wouldn't be too nice

to suck blood from hands that feed you, but it will have to suffice

to express my best wishes when you say your farewell,

now I'm done with this rhyming, and I've still another shell.

 

Several, actually... But that's beside the point. When you get sick of my neorap, let me know. (I can't stand rap, so I shan't call this such)

*Ashtonblades walks on the stage and confronts Alaeha*

 

So now you are trying to play games with me,

Embarass me, then start shaming me,

Man please, ya rap is way off the map,

You better off on the porch, smokin' crack,

But I won't hate, I'll still give you yo' props,

But after this battle you gon' be washin' my socks,

Like I said before, you rockin' with the best,

I blame you, then snatch that ice off yo' chest,

I'll let you go now, because I'm so nice,

Cause' if you spit with me, you only live twice,

Just leave right now, I'm on the scene,

Stand aside, and watch me gleam

With pride, You can just stand there and watch your rhymes die,

Only then will you know and see,

That you are sorry of the day that you ever met me!

 

Nice rhymes Alaeha! I hope to battle you again soon.

[Guest White Rose Oujisama]

...*walks in curiously...glances at AB..smiles* Heh, way to go man. Never knew you could pull it off like that...oh well. I guess I'm in regret for never really giving you a chance...and for that I'm sorry. I'm eager to see more potential flow bud, so keep it up!

 

*steps up and grabs the mike* I guess since I'm not the best in the world at this...and AB is started it...I'll make a tribute to him. *nods*

 

 

To make a rhyme really isn't the easiest thing,

For most,

Your inner soul must first sing,

You let yourself go,

It's all one big flow,

First thing you know,

You're on your way to a audience, puttin on a show.

Then there's the few that are trapped inside,

No one with whom you can confide,

Your one true self swept with tide,

And then...you're only left to hide...

What happens to us few that are left to die...?

Die?

No wait.

The few of us that are strong REFUSE to dissapate!

We are left eternal,

Like lost pages in a journal,

We desire to be read,

Always searching to fed,

Too afraid to bite the hand that feeds us,

Anyone that comes to the rescue is our jesus.

Someone said life's a game,

Other say it's a stage,

Well, whatever, I guess there shouldn't be anyone to blame,

But wait, let's turn the page,

And we see life's full of actors,

And no one see's through our puppet plaster,

And everyone's our master!

We owe strings to everyone,

They take what we need,

Don't stop till they think WE'RE done,

But oh, they don't realize it's just begun,

Because once we come out,

The sun's just risin',

And then we see our hope on the horizon!

We're left alone though...

Longing to see that day,

Bleeding from our spiritual dismay...

That's what we do,

cuz we never fit the part!

Don't you think it's hard searchin' for your heart?

our reality and our face,

look for these two and they'll always be apart...

No divine identity...

To show our own, we've learned,

It hurts to be smart...

 

O_O;; Er...wish I was better! ;; I'm probably not going to write anymore...thanks anyway...good job AB!

 

-Oujisama, the wannabe rapper *laughs*

[Falcon2001]

You know, by all rights we should only be doing this in #thepen because freestyle is mainly based on speed...oh well

 

I'll come up with something a little later, I've freestyled with Wyvern before once or twice, and with Dopey once, I think.

[AshtonBlades]

*AshtonBlades and Ouji Sama walk onstage to the already cheering crowd. They both start a duet.*

 

Yo, AB and Ouji just can't be touched,

If rap were a test, we'd both get an A plus,

BladeMan with his rapid mobility,

Ouji with his passionate poetic ablity,

It's like SNAP! CRACKLE! POP! Right there in yo' face,

We'll just embarass you, and put you in your place,

 

*At this point, the crowd rocks their heads to the beat, waving their hands*

 

I'll cook you well done, like Harry Potter house-elves,

You may as well just start basting yourselves,

Ouji'll is passionate, his flower isa bloomin'

He'll just leave you cryin' in confusion,

We better stop now, it's time to go,

You know who we be, the Dynamnic Duo!

[Jareena Faye]

Whoo hoo, randomness! *I know I couldn't rap to save my life, but here it is, everybody run*

 

Freak versus norm

Refuse to conform!

I know you can do it

Get up and get to it!

Smile, speak soft--- carry the Word of God

Cuz you know He'll hit harder

Than we ever will

So stop sitting, time-wasting,

No more standing still.

God Freak versus norm

Move them to reform

Are you really real

Or just cheating His deal?

Now that you've been told,

Go tell some one else

You know we just here

Just to follow His will

Stop whining, excusing

NO MORE STANDING STILL!

 

Please don't kill me!

[Falcon2001]

Style - form - impossible grace

Put you back into your place

I'll spin a tale with irrevocable ease

And weave a plot like summer breeze

I'm a wizard of words, a smith of the writ

Not a man with a tool, but rather a gift

I'll sing circles 'round your open eyes

And then send ya home like a buzzin' fly

I'm sharper'n knives, cut like one too

I'll chop ya up and when I'm through

I'll serve ya up on a bed of prose

A wicked rhyme decidedly chose

To magnify,

specify,

rectify your utter lies

And then when you're lyin' in disgrace

I'll quit the job and bust up the place