HopperWolf Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 (edited) From the depths of Shadow, Emerges a Beast, Two blood red jewels peering Through a curtain of darkness. Creeping forward, Emerges the Beast, Torch light sliding across, Like water over rocks. Slyly silent, Reveals the Beast, Chaos black scales easily rippling Over a frome of just held power. Easy elegance, Approaches the Beast, Graceful Predator, quiet, Resonating dangerous calm. Fearful display, Rears up the Beast, Fallen Angel’s wings, Burnt and blackened in Heaven’s Grace. Irresistable, Attacks the Beast, With frightening beauty, Dead men’s eyes sing. I am wondering if I should title this "Dragon" instead. what do you think? Edited February 11, 2003 by HopperWolf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blondemoon Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 Mmmmm...I like! I'm not exactly sure what I was thinking the Beast was at the very beginning, but I think the title Dragon might fit it better. And I love the descriptive imagery. *shivers* *likes dragons....pretty* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad Posted February 10, 2003 Report Share Posted February 10, 2003 Ooooh... I this poem! Great imagery! Great structure! Great everything! If you want to become the world's greatest poet, all you have to do is rewrite this poem millions of times, making slight changes...!!! Mwahahahahaha... [cue men in lab coats] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoomGaze Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 As a fan of dragons, i like this poem alot. hehe, you should change the title.. it goes better. Everyone underestimates the power of the Dragon, but know this, a dragons power is eternal. MWAHAAHAH (ok i'll stop now) Thx for sharing.... GREAT POEM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 I like it the way it is. Excellent and vivid imagery Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 I heartily agree with Vlad's second throught fifth comments. Keep the title. Unspecified menace is so much better I think; because the unknown is so often more scary than the known. That, and I think most poetry does well with a good amount of room for interpretation, even in the title. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rune Posted February 21, 2003 Report Share Posted February 21, 2003 I like having it titled Beast, instead of Dragon. Gives more freedom to the reader to imagine the creature as they read the poem. Plus it does not lock it into a certain culture, afterall Chinese dragons are very different than typical fantasy style dragons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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