Merelas

Hmmm... Yo no comprendo tù y su hermana... ¿quien esrcibe este? Pues, es muy bueno. Yo no se por què es de tu madre y tu nombre solamente, pero es muy bien. ¡Muy divertido! ¡Màs!

Guidelines for reading the following poem: I am a terrible poet. This is not my most familliar arena, and I'm still finding that lately I'm being drawn to write more and more poetry. I am better with stories, and images, I think... but when the muse calls, all you can do is hang on for dear life. I can never convey how the beat/tempo is supposed to go. Reading it again, I tried to imagine if I weren't the author and I was just reading it as a piece I was unfamilliar with how I would do so... and I found it extremely choppy. So, I'm going to take a shot at describing the tempo. I have purposefully used lots of two syllable lines, and these are to be read slowly, in an almost sing-song type manner, with a pause at the end of the line. I realize this probably does nothing for you, but I really don't know how else to describe it. Even if the tempo cannot be conveyed to the ear, I hope that you will be able to look at the words and see the message that I have tried to weave into the poem (however, probably unsuccessful), and see that it has at least some merit. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy. P.S.-- I don't like the title I have here either. Suggestions? -Merelas en'Bella ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Caught When you leave me I hear you still. And then I see You’re gone until We meet again We meet again. Without your touch, without your love I’m lost at sea. And when you’re gone I always know You don’t love me. The wind whispers The clouds scream. And inside, I know You don’t love me. And now You’re here… I cry inside. Because I know… This isn’t right. You will leave me And I will cry. And in the end, Time after time, The lies The hope… They make me blind. But still I stay, I don’t unwind. So please, If you love me… Let me go. Don’t keep Playing… For we both know-- You don’t love me… And I can see… You know it too… You know it too. And still I lay Awake at night. I have This love— For you inside. Shadows gesture, Light punches me. And with Their help… I begin to see. I see you now. Standing there. And I ask myself, “Why do I care?” You say You know… You'll try to change. By now, I know You have your ways. Night falls I rest… But never sleep. And when I think of you… I slowly weep. Let me go… Let me go… You say you need me You say you have love… Nothing but lies. And always, I stay, I believe what you say… Time after time.

"... whisperings of a nameless evil grew in the east..." And the whisperings lead to an idea... Lord help us all! Dashes off to think, which is very hard for him... Congrats, Wyvie, and I hope that it all works out... and I'll try to tune in as often as possible!

Deary me! I spelled it wrong twice! I regretfully acknowledge that the word you are referring to is correctly spelt "plague". I apologize for any inconvenience.

The Game Do not try to win the game— I warn you, it’s already done. If you come and try for fame, I warn you, I’m second to none. For though you may not know me, The game, it is already done. I can tell that you can’t see The game has already been won. Come if you will, try your hand. The results are always the same— No one alive in this land Can best me-- that will never change. I can see through anyone; You are all just two of a kind I warn you, it’s all been done, And my game is all in your mind. (Note: I reserve the right to use this for a heroic type test by a villian or other entity in some story later on down the road Comments will be much appreciated.)

I am... Humbled. And reminded once again that there are only people in life... people at different stages of progression and regression. All we can do is hope to progress rather than either of the alternatives. Logically, these are either staying put or moving backwards. It is obvious why moving backwards is detrimental, but staying put... "Even if you're on the right track, if you're sitting down, eventually you're going to get run over." Someone wise said that once. I don't remember who. But, I am humbled by this. Well done, Peredhil.

Oh... Loki apparently understood this better than I did... I really didn't recognize what you were speaking of that was spreading... was it hate? Bah. I'm sorry... I suppose I'm not quite one to critique, but I'll give it a bash anyways. I really liked this-- the rhythym (I can never spell that word!) was.... enchanting, somehow... it really kept my attention. I read it several (several meaning probably 3 ) times, and each time I was still riveted, listening to the tempo in my mind. It was really good! The only thing that I can suggest that you might want to change would be the length/amount of syllables in the last couplet. It has excellent content, and a good ending, to be sure, but I felt that the break of pattern was unwarrented... perhaps you like it, and if so, keep it! I really did like it overall... perhaps I might suggest the following?: Maybe change from: To: Hmm.. Reading that again, I don't really like the last line I reccomended... I do like "bloodied hands," but it's one syllable too many... if you can think of a better substitute (if you even want to change it ) Use it! Once again, well done, and I hope to see more of your work soon!

First thing, I thought the song/poem was extremely creative, especially this verse: That was definately my fave. Hope tomorrow goes better for you, and that you see things looking up soon! Second thing, that font on your signature is divine! What's it called, and would you happen to have directions to a download? Sorry, I know it's selfish to ask, especially since you had a bad day, but I really like it! And the idiom (is it an idiom?) you used about flying was great too... I like! So, thanks, and you can PM me or even just post it here if you want to tell me about the font . Again, good poem!

Merelas stepped out of his house, and quietly looked about. Quickly, he darted into the shadows, and stayed close to the wall. Melding into the shadows, his black attire hid him efficiently from anyone who might have been looking to see him. Creeping slowly along the stone wall of the village, he finally came to the clearing he was looking for. Under the light of the full moon, he drew the sword sheathed at his back. Swiftly, he began to practice, swinging the sword in a full arc, then bringing it around again. Back and forth he ran, quickly as possible. The town meeting had made him uneasy. He always hated accusing people-- and he knew that was what would have happened that day... even after what he knew happened last night, he couldn't bear to see someone lynched. But time was running out... perhaps he would have to speak tomorrow.

So, joining is closed, then?

Good fun, good fun! I'd be happy to join in Good luck, all!

This is an unorthodox poem... for me at least. One of the only reasons I wrote this is because... I don't normally feel this way. Courage You think you know courage? “Courage” is listening to someone whine about their terrible hangnail, while your arm is cut off at the elbow. “Courage” is fighting the battle when all you want to do is surrender to the enemy, with or without quarter. “Courage” is looking at the knife longingly, and then forcing yourself to turn away. “Courage” is when I face the person whose back I want to drive a knife into, and smiling while I’m at it. “Courage” is when I look into the dawn even when all I want is to witness my very last sunset for this lifetime. “Courage” is me holding back the tears, even though it feels like a tidal wave is welling behind my eyes every waking moment. And damn it, if it kills me, I will be brave.

Congratulations everyone! Merelas brings in a bugle and blows on it ceremoniously, quite out of tune, if the truth be known. Well done! May you perform as well at your new rank as you did at your old!

Merelas raises his glass of firewine, shouting. Congratulations Aardvark! A toast-- to your success as a herald, and your happiness in that thing I don't have called a Real Life!

SECOND SECTION!?!? Dashes off for the Assembly room!

mmm... I agree with Wyvern. Off to a very good start, and all, and I also agree about how to teach us that Seth is a cold-blooded killer: What if you show (in the story) Seth killing the king's Cousin? It would be an exciting start, and plus, we would know he was a killer! You can play up the fact that the contact doesn't know that his partner is dead yet, and still get the element of surprise at least on the part that the man he killed was the King's cousin. I think this is going to be veerrrrrrrrry interesting. Good start, and I greatly anticipate more.

Ooh, I like. I especially liked the way that it started having a winding down feel, as the stanzas get smaller, less and less syllables, until the end. It was very enjoyable. I do hope you continue to post here, Ken.

Wow... this is really good, chilling almost. On a lighter note, reminds me of a beetles song: I am he, And you are me, And we are all together. At least... I think that's how it went, lol. Again, well done. I always enjoy your poetry, Vlad. (Even if I don't always say so )

Hmm. I really enjoyed this. I know what you mean... I don't feel it on the level of the speaker (since I don't know if this is how you really feel or not...), but I can definately get tired of school all to quick. You displayed this pretty well, using some bold words and connecting the rhyme scheme in an unobtrusive way. The only thing I didn't like was that the last stanza sounded a little bit... off... I'm sorry if I can't fully explain, it's just that it seemed in that ONE stanza, you seemed to break from the cleaness, the ease of expression that you had in the rest. On another note, I like the three-verse stanza form... I've never seen it used before, but maybe because I'm not exactly what you would call a "poetry student". Lol. Good work, I hope to see more!

Wyvern, old boy! You surprise me, writing so cynically about greed! Seriously though, I have to echo everyone else when I say that this is definately high-quality work. You deserve a standing ovation for this, and proudly, I offer one. The only thing I don't agree with the previous speakers on is the favorite stanza. Mine was the second-to-last in this, and especially the last two lines of that, which I know someone quoted but I'm too lazy to scroll down and look Truly, I applaud you. Well done. I hope you muster up some more, though I must say, this is hard to top.

hmm... Guilt is an emotion we all feel, and you expressed it well throughout this poem. Nice work, and keep writing!

Okay, lots to say here. First, I am amazed by the tempo you used. The brief stanzas make it quick, REAAAAAALLY (I have no way to put enough emphasis on it) referring back to the whole running theme. Side note that will hopefully make you laugh with me, not at me: As I read it, it was going so quick, so I tried to read faster because I thought that was how it was intended (hopefully it was), and I was like, "This is cool! It's a fast poem, I like it! Man, he's good!" And then, I read it again, and I realized that you wrote a fast poem, and the whole running theme was intended, my eyes got really wide and I was like, "Oooooh, you twicky widdwe wabbit! Yessah, you a twicky won!" But really, I am amazed by the tempo and rhythym (I CAN NEVER SPELL THAT WORD!) you applied, and the theme that suited it so well. I guess I didn't have too much to say. Again, well done.

Kudos. I liked the rhyme scheme, structure, and overall flow of the poem. I echo everyone else, as usual On a side note, I hope to see more of your work soon!

Wow... I would give you some advice, but all the techniques I've ever used for breaking the block I don't think would help... Your writer's block is definately different than mine. When I get the block, I completely shut down when faced with a pen or a paper... you seem to know what you want to say but don't know how to say it (unless I'm just being retarded again). I can't even think when I try to write under the block... I don't know what I want to say, is what I'm saying... so yeah, I don't think I can help. I have made so little sense in this post it's rediculous. I hope that no one who read it is dumber for it... sorry everyone

Clinks glasses with Zen, sipping, and setting it down before commenting. Hopperwolf! You're really amazing. I haven't seen very much of your work around here at all, and now I'm sad about that because what I have seen is really, really good. This flowed perfectly, and I was amazed by how much you conveyed in a short amount of words... I did have one suggestion, but my memory is going to hell in a handbasket... OH! I remember now. Ok, I loved it the whole way through, really I did, but the last line got to me a little bit... it was too long, if you ask me. This is (as all of my suggestions seem to be... bah. ) a matter of personal preference, but I would remove the part about sleep in that very last line. Since the title was "daydreamer", implying no sleep, it's not really essential, and it shortens it (i.e., appeases my gripes, lol. ) Anyways. That's just my two bits. Really, I was amazed with how powerful a short poem like that can be. It was very, very good. And, sleepless, never be afraid to comment on an old, old work. It gets more people to see it (I never would have if you hadn't,) and thus, more feedback for the author. Again, good all around!