Merelas

I'm not going to dignify that article with a response It's a little funny to see how low such reputable organizations can stoop.

Nate shrugged. Perhpas that little girl was for the best. At least she had attempted to supplement their meal, and caught a rabbit. It wasn't easy to catch the little suckers, either, and there was no evidence of shot in the animal. She was quick, and to him, quickness had always implied intelligence. And she had accused that man, Eric Smith. But it was against all his teaching, his morals, his knowledge of the law to accuse someone without concrete evidence, and he had none of that. Merely the impression that the man carried himself strangely was not enough for him to base his decision on. "I'm not sure there was a killing at all, dearest wife. We should not speculate or accuse without proof. What Jake did, accusing Cat, was wrong. We won't do the same." And then she left. Nate could tell that her reason was merely an excuse, and that saddened him. Was he so held to the law that his wife would not stand by him? No, that wasn't it. There was something else troubling her. It could be the spat they'd had earlier in the day about Cat, but he didn't think so. He loved her with his entire being, and his heart told him that something was amiss aside from the new girl. He would have to speak with her on it tonight at dinner. It was then that Abraham arrived at their wagon, with his troop of boys with them. Nathaniel looked at them, surprised. "We come to share a meal with you, Mr. Bluett. I've brought here a pie I baked." "Why, thank you, Mr. Cartwright. It's a pleasure to have your company," he said with a smile. It had been getting a little unnerving, not knowing anyone else in the wagon train except Amanda and Rosalie. Mr. Cartwright seemed like a very sensible man, and he hoped that he could become friends with him. "I will be right back, Abraham. I'll see if I can find Amanda and Rosalie to share our company, and Amanda was fixing a rabbit to eat. I imagine we can take down some of the salt pork we've got stored too, and we'll have a grand time!" he said, and he bade Mr. Cartwright and his children to wait for him by the wagon as he trekked off to find his wife and sister-in-law. OOC: Refusal to vote, unless someone in the thread can provide some sort of concrete evidence such as an eye-witness.

Happy Birthday! Congratulations!

Nathaniel searched through the wagons for Rosalie, but did so in vain. it appeared that the child (though she was hardly a child, but he always thought of her as his little sister) was nowhere to be found. "Probably off daydreaming somewhere," he muttered to himself, with a smile. Rosalie was an exceptionally bright child, if not a little bit... odd. Some might call her crazy, but Nate's general opinion was that she was misunderstood, even by him. More importantly at the moment, she was an expert shot with a pistol, and he had wanted to tell her to stay near Amanda, and to keep her gun loaded. As he was walking in search of her, he heard one of the men spouting off about who had committed the murder, and accusing Cat of it. He stopped, and turned to the man... this was his arena. "Sir, I will kindly remind you that every person is innocent until proven guilty, and that this young woman has done nothing which proves her guilt as yet. We can't turn this into a witch-hunt, and kill whomever rubs us the wrong way," he said, and waited for a reply. OOC: No vote yet/Refusal to Vote so far.

Nathaniel shook his head, and looked down. "I'm really not sure, Love. I don't know anyone here well enough to tell... but I want you and Rosalie and Cat to stay together from now on as much as you can, and if anyone tries to hurt you, you just scream bloody murder. There isn't a herd of wild horses that couldn't keep me from you if I knew you were being hurt. When we circle up tonight, I want you to stay with me until I'm in the wagon too." Nathaniel kissed her then briefly, and hugged her, before continuing, "I'm going to see if I can find Rosalie. Be careful, Amanda." At that, he hugged her once more, and set out to find Rosalie to give her the same speech.

It's incredibly sad... You describe a feeling that many of us have very well, and the pain of the protagonist is clearly felt through the vocabulary and word usage. The rhythym is a little odd, I don't know if you meant it that way or not, but I sort of like it... its unique, and extremely well done!

I would also like one, so I'll go ahead and PM you as well...

Nathaniel slowly realized what he had done to her, and he felt ashamed. He put down the bread he had been eating, and crossed to her, taking her into his arms. "I know, Amanda. It's just... that woman today, and with the food... I'm just so scared that we won't have enough, and we won't make it to California together. I'm so worried about you and Rosalie... and now we have one more mouth to feed." He just held her there for a while, and closed his eyes. Lord, help me to control my temper... I know that I hurt those closest to me when I lose it, and I pray that you will assist me in keeping it in check. Give me the words to say and the actions to display that will help Amanda, Rosalie, and this new addition to our wagon that we will make it. He lifted her chin, and looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry I yelled. You know I love you," he said.

Nathaniel was hungry, shocked, and upset. Amanda, standing before him, looked to him as though she felt the same way. "You should have consulted me first, Amanda! The bible tells us that the man is the head of the household, and you disrespected me when you refused to ask me if it were all right to invite this young ingrate into our home!" he fumed, trying his best to keep from shouting. "The bible also tells us to have charity, Nathaniel, and I did what is the good christian thing to do!" she replied, and he fumed even more. They had been arguing about this for a good 30 minutes now, and finally Nathaniel decided to give it up. "All right then. She stays... but don't think that I'm happy about it, Amanda. You've cornered me here, and I don't appreciate it one bit." She said nothing, simply turning on her heel and leaving. Quickly, he walked to their wagon, where he ripped a can of tinned biscuits from a shelf. He tore it open, and took one out. They would have to ration their food even more carefully, now that Amanda had taken this child in. He knew that Amanda had only wanted to be kind, as she always was, but sometimes he wondered if she reasoned her actions through before making them. And then there was that woman who had died. The wagonmaster was saying that she had been murdered, but Nathaniel wasn't sure he believed it. He hadn't even known the woman, and how could she have made enemies? An old widow hardly appeared to be the hatable sort... and yet, there it was. Perhaps she was robbed for her money. They had said her jewelry box was missing... but what would someone do with jewels here on the trail? There were hardly people jumping to buy fine stones, and the forts they came to along the way would (most likely) refuse them as payment as well. It was strange, and the oddity of it forced him to lose his anger. He pondered some more, as he munched on the stale bread.

I vote western as well. I don't think the Mutiny on the Bounty has the most votes by far... I believe it's 7-5, and I was one of the 7, and I'm changing. It should be tied, I believe.

I know... sorry about that.

Lol, originally I voted for the pirate one, but now I want to change, lol, the Western sounds like more fun.

I promise to do better this time--I've been checking the pen regularly for some time now. I've also thought about characters. Tanuchan, if you want, I can play your husband/fiancé, or if not that's fine too. In any case, if we do the western: Nathaniel (always been a favorite name) Bluett (pron. blew-it). Studied in law school back east, and is aiming to become a judge once he gets out west so that he can try to tame that wild west. He has a slight temper, and it's best not to cross him. Sort of moody--he can be the nicest person in the world one minute and hate you the next, unless you're very close to him. He makes friends slowly and is slow to doubt them because of the loyalty he exerts and expects in return, but if you ever break his trust you'll probably not be speaking to him again. If Tanuchan agrees, then he's deeply in love with her and will fight to protect her or her honor. If we do the Pirate one: Robert "Owley" Dennison. Has large spectacles which remind people of owl's eyes, hence the nickname. Serves as ship's navigator (assuming that's ok), and doesn't speak much. Very shy and reserved, and would never approach someone else in a conversation. Also, he is fairly intelligent, but will sacrafice his views to fit in with the crowd and not disturb anything. Think "bookworm".

This is cliche-- everyone does this guy, but oh well. Vincent Van Gogh's Starry Night. I like cliche stuff.

Hmm. Well we all know how my activity in the last Werewolf game went... perhaps This next one will be better. In any case, I'll give it a whirl. Pirate one, By the way.

I like it... I like it a lot. It's sad... and yet intriguing at the same time, because the speaker is watching and attempting to protect the "little one", with his/her advice. So if you think about it... the little one really isn't alone, are they? Just some thoughts. -Mere

The rain began pouring over Alric as he stood looking at the girl. He was extremely surprised by what he saw: she did nothing. Her expression was blank, and she said nothing to him. She simply watched the assassins as they advanced, giving no hint to Alric of what he should do, or what she would do. His eyes moved back to the cloaked figure, as the lone man (after the other had dragged the body down an alley and left), walked slowly towards them, dagger at the ready. The light still occupied his hand, and again he hesitated. He could mold it into so many things... what was right? Perhaps nothing, he thought, and he flung it as it was at the man. When it reached its target, Alric snapped his fingers, and it exploded into an even brighter, blinding white aura. The man shielded his eyes and looked away from the apparition, temporarily disabled. Taking advantage of the time he had bought, Alric spun quickly in the rituals and rites of his next move. Reaching outward to the fury that was the storm above them, he connected with the natural energy and aggression that drove the rain to the ground and brought the black clouds to the sky. He thought furiously, and as he did so, the clouds above him concentrated into one area. The pure mana that was flowing from the storm was harnassed by him in that moment, and a bolt of lightning struck downward at the earth. As it fell with terrifying speed, it was tempted to draw to higher targets--the tower on a temple nearby, a tree, and a flagpole. With denials of these temptations that went as quickly as they came, Alric directed the bolt to the assassin. It surged into his body with awesome force and brilliance. The aura that had blinded the man only moments ago was drowned out in the roar of light that came with this newest offensive weapon. The electricity coursed through his veins--it was adversity in the extreme. Soon, it was too much for his heart to handle, and so it stopped. The man died not from the damage of the lightning itself, but from the reaction his body had to it--a natural reaction. "Thanks be to Lady Nature for sending us this storm," said Alric, as he performed the gesture that only Nature's true followers knew, and he turned away from the still convulsing body of the man in black. "I must find an inn... if you wish to follow me, you may," he said to the girl, and he replaced his green hood over his now soggy hair. Not looking back to see whether or not she would actually accompany him, he trudged out of the marketplace and back to where he thought he had seen that inn. There couldn't be too many in this Godless place... he thought, and he strode on. The rain fell around him, and lightning cracked again, echoed by the rumble of thunder. In the moment of the lightning, he was an eerie figure, his cloak darkened by the rain on wool, and the moon being covered by the clouds.

As did I Well written. It's good to get something Zany once in a while.

Alric heard the scream, and turned to see if he could tell where it had come from. "So, where are we going?" the girl asked. Alric tore his eyes from trying to find the source of the sound, and looked at her. She carried the water jug on her head still, and her balance appeared to be impecable. "This is your family's work?" he asked, eyes wide in admiration. The girl's only response was a nod and anotehr bright smile. Something about that smile drew him in, and made him want to trust her. He removed his hood, and glanced down hat her. She was quite a bit shorter than him... but the pot made up for it. Suddenly, there was another scream, much closer this time. Alric turned quickly, saw two men dressed in black chasing a young woman towards them. Immediately, the streets around them cleared. As Alric watched, one of the men drew a knife from his hip, and flung it at the woman. She screamed again, and fell to the ground dead. Quickly, Alric reached to the second pouch at his belt, and dipped into it. He took a handful of something, and waited. The men in black immediately looked down the street, and saw the two of them there. Alric glanced to the girl with the pot of water on her head, and gulped. It was his responsibility to protect her... but could he? He hesitated. The two men walked towards them. If he was going to act, it would have to be now. He glanced behind him once more, and then flung the contents of his hand outward in a line, and then the girl saw what it was-- they were seeds, and the wind suddenly sprang up behind them and spread them outward. "BRAMBLES!" Alric screamed, as the seeds reached the ground, and held his right hand out towards them. Instantly, they began to move. Roots sprouted and wound their way into the ground, and they grew together. They became a wall of thorns quickly, gorwing higher and wider until they couldn't even see through to where the men were. He turned away, and looked to the girl. He searched her face for some sort of reaction-- But before he could tell, there was an explosion behind them. Part of the Wall of Thorns Alric had called had been blown away. As he looked on, the smoke and flames dimmed and the men in black walked through. His eyes widened. He raised his hand, and immediately it filled with light. Before acting, he looked to the girl once more, and was taken by surprise...

Alric walked through the market, with slight contempt. Nothing there suited his tastes. As he walked from the food vendors through to the clothing, he looked around. People were staring at him from all directions. People staring always made him nervous. Perhpas it was his clothes--he wore only the best, and he was always a spectacle when he appeared in sleepy towns like this. The tents that contained various brown cloaks, leather armors, and dresses did not interest him. As one patron pointed at him, he pulled the hood of his own emerald green cloak up over his head. The cloak was of fine wook, and was trimmed with a strip of white. Under the cloak, he wore a white comfortable shirt, and green pants that matched his cloak. His eyes were the same color as his cloak and pants--a bright, emerald green. Fire gleamed in his red hair, and the cloak complimented it nicely. All in all, he was (to say the least) a figure who drew attention. Next he came upon a stand with clothes items much the same as the last, and was about to turn away until he found one item that seemed to fit his tastes. It was a scarf of green silk, and if he hadn't known better, he would have said it had been custom made for his outfit. Immediately, he picked it up, and felt the fabric. It was fairly high-quality... perhaps not the best silk, but nearly so. He held it up to the edge of his cloak, and saw that it was a mere shade lighter; enough so that it could be seen, but still matching. It was about seven feet long, and six inches wide. Turning to the vendor, he said to the woman, "I'll take this. How much?" "75 Geld, sir," she said. Alric reached down to his pouch, and counted out the money. As soon as he paid, he realized that he was running low. Hopefully he would have enough to pay for his meal that night. As he turned to go, he saw a scuffle a few vendors away, and hesitated.

The words will never come to mind She is a game, and you're behind But silent you stay Throwing it away And the woman will not be thine. But the day will always break new Even though the light seems dark too Because through your eyes The fools are so wise-- They wouldn't chase the love like you. And in the end, it ends the same Always the chase of this dame. The games come to end And the rules won't bend You break from the weight of the game. The fires of love fade into black And still she comes on smiling back And again you fall Against the same wall And she blinds you well with her tact. The lady beguiles round and round Bringing you from up to down Smiling so sweetly, Killing you neatly, You die in a heap on the ground.

It sounds like a song. I really enjoyed it, the varying stanza and line length was very good. I don't know what I could suggest that would make it better, but I liked it Keep writing!

Wow... gruesome and lovely. The rhyme scheme is very enticing, and while I liked this style for your other poem, I find it makes it harder to read here (for me... maybe I'm just dyslexic tho ). I would reccomend seperating stanzas maybe, as well as adding length. Both of your poems have left me wanting more of the story, and while that's good, on this one I think a longer work would do better. I liked the use of gore, especially these lines: It shows how bloody and painful love can really be sometimes-- not a fluffy, soft, warm type of love, now is it?? Great poem.

Excellent work. I don't find anything wrong with using songs as your inspiration. I've stolen entire characters from video games before, for pete's sake! "A writer is like a raven, collecting shiny (highlited for the sake of Rydia, and other shiny lovers ) things until they weave them into their nest of a story." And, it's an extremely good poem. The short lines and non-stanzas made it more interesting. It's a style I haven't seen used frequently before, and you did extremely well with it. The only thing I might suggest would be to make it a wee bit longer... it left me wanting more, which is a very good thing in itself I hope to see more of your work!

I think this is beautiful-- I wouldn't have believed that it was your first poem if you hadn't said anything. Extremely well done-- I hope you continue your carreer as a poet. By the way... I tend to politely disagree with Peredhil and Appy. I like the commas. However, any advice I give should be taken with a grain of salt, because I overly use seperating devices such as dotdotdots, dashes, semicolons, commas, hyphens, and others. So... I might not be the best person to give advice, but I liked it the way it was Well done!