Gwaihir

As requested, feedback: As a philosopher I have mild objections to your premise because I don't understand how will can not be free. I will squish that opinion however and go on. (That and anything that would cause me to murder someone would also prevent me from loving them if I knew it in advance.) So are we in the modern days? ("gunned down", "drug overdose")? It's not clear and perhaps should be. Going on, I'm not sure I quite get chapter one. Who's the boy? It's hard to care about him yet, because we really don't know much about him. We mainly just know that we don't like his parents much and that the boy is likely to be on the side of rebels. This is slightly confusing becuase all the other chapters (and prologue) refer to a different time period. Chapter two feels more like a first chapter. "so I had the most natural reflex, and started crying." This might need rewording. I like the detail about hands though. "and drag me down the path I had no wish to trod." You mean tread not trod (past tense) I really like the details about his first life. It gives nice depth. Still, I wish there were more. Okay, so I assume it's intentional that we don't know much about the Prophecy, but I'd like some more setting. This all feels a bit short. (I note that Prophesized comes up correct in Word, but so does Prophesied and that's what I think is the correct past tense. This might be a pond difference?) Also, is this main character to be dreaded in the time of Grimfalk (whose dates appear at teh beginning of every chapter as a timeframe) then surely the character's (he needs a name) brother will be needing in only 410 years, not millenia? Okay, so the main character is Grimfalk's brother not Grimfalk. So is he going to live to be 410 years old? If that's normal in this universe, then it's very different from my expectations and probably should be noted. Also, if the history books know what a great magician Grimfalk's brother was, why was he so ordinary in life? Prediction for ending: Nameless hero will not be able to use magic again so he will end up having to kill Inya to save her becuase he can't use magic to do it/prevent the harm. Don't take these comments as too critical, by the way. I think this story is very interesting. Mostly, I think this needs to be fleshed out more and given more details, but I suspect that whatever you do with it, it'll be worth reading.

While I thought he meant boot up in the sense of get started, so I figured he was suggesting that I start a couple stickies and ask for volunteers

This makes me think. I know we've had places where people volunteered to give different sorts of feedback, but would people find it useful to have a few of people who volunteer for such things? For instance, I would volunteer to give moderate or harsh feedback on non-verse fiction. I would be very up for that and will start wheels turning if others think it's interesting. I'm guessing Prepise does , (right?), do others?

I printed this story out a few days ago when I had no home internet and I've been meaning to comment here since. Nice! A couple of spelling typos, but that's all on the typo front and they weren't distracting. Good writing. I definitely enjoyed it. Perhaps the bit about the seeress's guard was a bit less exciting becuase we don't know yet how that's relevant. Still don't my comments very seriously about that sinc eI don't know how this will turn out. Good fun! Thansk for sharing.

OOC: If I may, take over the knight since Vlad seems to be gone and this might be fun. IC:Hmm, that vanquished nothing. Perhaps... "Ekke Ekke Ekke Ptang Zoo Boing!" Is chain mail vulnerable to snake bites? Probably and if not some part of me will be. Well, if it bites me I’ll just have to keep going. Wherever the grail is I must go!

From white to maroon, colors swirl. Too dramatic to exist, still they do. The gods have made an abstract painting of craziness.

So, reading that book makes you content?

Welcome back! Thank you for your speaking.

Hello!

Welcome back!

Should be working now. (Don't thank me, I didn't fix it, just monitored the people who Patrick told to fix it and gave them the relevant password.)

Nice, Sora Hikari, that reads like a poem! Good to see you around (since I don't think I've said hello yet:)) Just for the record though, ideally these are things you actually have done. Have you walked ten miles for your dinner? Because ten miles was where the nearest store was? Spun in circles until you threw up?

Happy Birthday, Ozy. Want a flower to grow in your pyramid or a vine to go on it? Yeah, probably not. Happy Birthday anyway!

As the ashes settled, there was only one brave soul left moving in the field. He stretched and got up looking for his friend. There was no one. It was a wasteland of machine guns and radioactive corpses, of rocket propelled grenades and men who will follow orders even when it means sure slaughter, of great foolish bravery. A witness to the worst that can happen when madmen declare war on each other. These were not his thoughts though. He simply felt lost and alone and began to helplessly look about for somewhere to head, a goal. He shook the smelly soot off himself and cursed this ashtray of a battle field. He dragged himself up and hurried off looking for others like him. Although he lived, he was the exception that proved the rule--proof that there are some conditions humans can not survive--that there are some wars to terrible to be repeated. The dog trotted off to the woods to find his brothers. terriyaki hifalutin manatee deadline

"Ohhh. I didn't even see #8!" said Gwai, characteristically. I'll go with "the annoyance factor." And with that he blunders off to trip over Wyvern's strange pots of Almost Draconic muddles.

I am happy to comply, but not sure I understand what a feature of slap bracelets means. (and a most ridiculous fad they were. I remember havign one or two myself.)

Ah, I see what you mean, Tanny. Thanks! I'll do Madlib Formula #421 Brown - 'Fadlib' 1) [A Vehicle] Cadillac 2) [Verb, Past Tense] did the time warp 3) [Plural Noun] pet rocks 4) [Verb, Past Tense] swallowed a goldfish 5) [Adjective Ending in “-like”] teenybopperlike 6) [A Number] 1975 7) [Plural Noun] slap bracelets [Feature of Said Plural Noun (7)] 9) [Article of Clothing] halter-tops 10) [Adverb] repetitively 11) [Adjective] crazy 12) [A Hair Accessory] hairspray 13) [Adjective] tie die colored 14) [Part of Body] tummy 15) [An Artifact] rubik's cube 16) [Noun] troll doll 17) [Plural Noun] flagpoles 18) [superlative Adjective (i.e longest, lowest, etc.)] grooviest 19) [Formal Title for a Person] Singstar 20) [Adjective Ending in “-like”] Ouijalike I love the idea, Wyv!

Quick question. Each formula is only used once but there are fewer formulas than blanks. Formulas are used for multiple words?

"No, I just can't swipe anything more from the archives. The Librarian already has noticed that the scroll I took in November is missing. He lambasted me quite thoroughly for not keeping better track. And that was even though he didn't suspect me in the least. If he guesses I did it, I think he really might eat me alive." "Ouch, then I'm glad you disuaded me from trying to get the scroll on the accords when I wanted it in December. Still, what else can we do? If we don't do something soon, there will be no more fairies anywhere. We just don't have much magic left because they've destroyed so much forest and field. The faeryfolk are on our way out. What will you do? Lich cubicle smirk brink

Good to see you drop by again, Winged Globe

Just found this. Mynx, this is brilliant! I'm not sure the memory loss is completely persuasive but everything else is truly cool.

"My birthday? My birthday? Oh! My, why yes it is." Gwaihir looks a bit surprised but a bit flattered. "Well, I did just discover a new species of daisy. That counts as a treat! But thank you all for coming to wish me me a happy birthday. Let me hug you." *thump* "OH, I am sorry, madam Tanuki! I didn't mean to trip by you and I really didn't mean to make you drop your measuring tape!" Mynx, may your paper be drilled with a hole for a flower to grow through. Whisky? May you learn how to float today! Peredhil. I can say no more than take care. You mean a lot.

Congratulations! Yay!

Oh, um sorry. I'll pretend I didn't say that then .

Thank you all!!! By the way, I can't say it bothers me but the fast reply box is in blue even on the tan skin which is vaguely odd.