~O~

Might have some trouble with that. Got back from Iraq a couple months ago, and have a bunch of full-time military schools ligned up for the next year. But I do remember y'all.

Hello, this is one of the Ancients of Terra... wondering who's still around. I went looking for one of my old guilds, and found that the webpage was gone. Anyone know where Calculus for the Masses went?

You take inspiration for roleplaying from dates? How interesting.

"Hustle and Flow" was a story about a pimp/drug-dealer who wanted to become a rapper. I'm not a real big fan of street culture, so I almost walked out when I realized that's what this movie was... but the ending was worth staying for. I do have to say that, even though I don't understand the mentality behind those who come "from the streets"--despite working with a number of them--this movie did a good job of making their cock-sure, argumentative attitudes seem human. I thought one scene was very interesting, where the pimp chewed out one of his girls for walking away from him, and then addressed the reason why she'd walked. Not the order that I'd have done it in... but then, I've never had to shoot my way out of a barfight. The music in the movie was also pretty decent, even though I'm not a huge fan of rap. So... if you are a fan of rap or are a budding sociologist looking into a specific subculture of the States, then this movie is for you. Rating: C for topic A for presentation

Oh... and for the record, I'm promoting myself to Jellyfish of the Pen, seeing as how nobody else has gotten around to it.

No... I've had one online romance too many. Women can be such pains in the... wings. Especially when they're spherical like the Nimball.

*sobs quietly at having been rejected... knowing full well that he never entered*

At one point, I was bored with names, and decided to draw an ASCII picture. I ended up with a circle with flappies on either side. I thought it looked like a Winged Globe... and a legend of Terra was born... errr... hatched... errr... SOMETHINGED. ~O~ Recently, I realized that the figure of a winged globe does show up in a book I'd read MANY years ago: in Andre Norton's Crystal Gryphon series, the ancient Landis used as his emblem, a winged ball. I don't know if this image was lurking in my mind, or if things ended up being a parallel evolution, but I figured that it was at least fair to mention the existence of the symbol elsewhere.

An interesting thing lurks at the bottom of the description... the averages for age and gender. According to that, most 25yo males are Emu Children.

Yup. Although, if it makes any difference, most of the guys I work with seem to think that I'm a Haughty Intellectual or a Hand-Raiser. I can't help it if most of them are Brutes and Bullies... right?

That was part of my thinking going INTO the military at 24. Even if the military and I "click", I can spend 20 years and retire at 44... which is still plenty young enough to take the safer career of academic, especially when backed by a military retirement.~O~ Falcon... you say you want to make money. How much? My parents are missionaries, and raised four kids on $25k a year. We didn't have much softness, or even trips to McDonalds, when I was younger. And I had to provide the majority of my own financing to get through college. But they did it. ~O~ Since even a teacher (or a liberal arts major) can plan to make $25k, you should have no problem living. Raising a family will take some planning. But... if you're willing to give up a *few* things, you can live very comfortably off even a "small" income. ~O~ So I repeat: How much money do you want? Start looking at exact numbers. How often do you want to buy a car? Do you want a new car or a used one? What's rent like where you plan to live? Do you know how to cook, or will you eat all your meals out? What will your entertainment budget look like? Go to movies, or rent videos? Buy new videogames, or read books from the library? Make up a budget for the lifestyle you plan to live, and figure out what type of income will support that. Don't forget to include some calculations for retirement savings.

A guy in my battery *did* get hit by lightning last fall. The metal rod in his leg is now fused to the bone.

Right To Correct Your Silly Illiterate Ass. We were established as an attempt to eliminate the typos, spelling errors, gramatical problems, etc. that plagued the UBB. ~O~ By the way... I've given what I had *intended* as constructive criticism. Your last post sounded kind of dejected. I didn't intend to convince you that your book wasn't worth it. On the contrary... I think it's got a lot of potential. Look at all the things I complimented you on. ~O~ One thing you might want to consider is whether you want to create a work of dramatic fiction, or write a book that supports Christian ideals and thought. Because that will shape the tone and form of your book. There are some parts of Christianity that makes for a really good story, and others that outright ruin a good story. If you're wanting to write a work of Christian dramatic fiction (which I believe the world needs more of), choose which elements of Christianity you want to bring to the foreground, and which you can leave in the background. ~O~ For instance, faith despite lack of proof ("Blessed are they who have not seen, yet still believe") is at a direct contrast with Miracles. Yet both have a place in the message of Christ, do they not? ~O~ Choose an element or two to focus on instead of trying to do everything at once. ~O~ My last post, like this one, is far from trying to convince you to give up on the work, but rather suggestions on how you can create a good work of literary Christianity. Of course, the best examples we have are Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia... but they say different things about Christianity. I think it's possible to write a good (not just decent) work of fiction about Christianity, and I think your book has enough potential to become one.

Okay... I've been moving through the story slowly--multitaskers unite--and have been focussing on writing style rather than typos... ~O~ I can't believe I just said that. I suppose you can take away my RTCYSIA badge. ~O~ I can't believe I just said that. This badge is mine. I'm just not using it right now. ~O~ Okay... ~O~ I like the characters so far, although I'd like a bit more time spent with each one. I'm hoping as I progress through the story, I'll get that time. The Winchesters are fighters to the end. They won't go down easy. But each one is also a unique character. Carv strikes me as the unassailable mountain. Cam is a warrior with a one-track mind. Steph is still somewhat naive and innocent. And Char is too weak to do much fighting, but he shows his spirit by running. Normally, children have more speed but less endurance than adults... but he's got the mental endurance to keep fleeing. ~O~ I'm liking the idea of the world... Many worlds. Allows for a lot of interesting possibilities. But it also has a few inherent weakness. First, the fate of any one world isn't as big a loss because there's always somewhere else to retreat to. This means that any encounter with nasty baddies is going to have less dramatic tension. WAR is coming. Why would a family of dimension travellers care? Dramatic tension is what keeps readers interesting. You'll have to find another way to maintain it... which I'll be able to comment on later. ~O~ Secondly, each world is likely to get less descriptive attention than if there was only one world. You've kind of compensated for that by having similar worlds--the street signs are all in the same language, and I have the feeling that there are several 20th C worlds, and at least one magical world, with the possibility of a scifi one (possibly combined w/ the fantasy). ~O~ And finally, a suggestion... Chapter 1 has a reference to FATE (the great coincidence that brings girls together is suspected to be more than coincidence). Personally, I think that is a blow to credibility for the rest of the story. ~O~ What engages me is struggle on the part of the characters. Surmounting impossible odds kind of thing. Heroic doggy almost dies, but manages to drag Timmy from the well. ~O~ If the characters have FATE on their side from the first chapter, then there's no tension throughout the story. The characters will succeed at the last minute. FATE is on their side. Remember what I said about dramatic tension? ~O~ I don't do much writing, compared to other things, but as a die-hard GM, I've had to watch the direct effect of plot tension on characters. Perhaps that's why I prefer GMing to writing. *shrugs* ~O~ I once ran a game where the characters met The Oracle early on, and she told them that A Prophecy would be made (meta-prophecy at work! Muahahaha). Being the egotistical heros that PCs are, they assumed (correctly) that they would be involved... true enough. And a Prophecy-Driven hero has FATE on his side. ~O~ So how did I compensate for it? Well... I had The Oracle (not that one, her sister) appear, and tell them that the fate of the world required that they attack a fortress and raze it to the ground. On arriving, the characters found that the inhabitents of the fortress were quite friendly. So... They became significantly suspicious of The Oracles, however many of them there were, and what ulterior motives there were that they (the PCs) didn't see. It doesn't invalidate The Prophecy, or Fate, but it does allow for a *non-friendly* Fate. And that means they can die. ~O~ I don't know yet what it is that your characters are FATED to do (I assume save the world(s)). But so far, FATE seems friendly.

As a founding member of RTCYSIA, I'm honor-bound to comply with a request for niggling.