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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZOOL!!!


Xanthus

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Salinye began floating up so that she can be eye to eye with her favorite painted Elder. Keeping her hands behind her back she smiles mischieviously.

 

"I've seen that smile before, Salinye. Whatever are you up to?" He asked a little warily.

 

"Happy Birthday, Zoolio."

 

Zool puffed his chest out, pleased to be the center of a special day. "Why thank you, Salinye. I always thought this day...."

 

His words were cut short as she pulled out an enchanted paintbrush (It allows her to paint whichever colors she thinks) and began painting a bright birthday hat upon his head.

 

"What in the..."

 

Next, she painted an enormous pink cake within his arms.

 

"Well, thank you, but really...."

 

Since he so cooperatively opened his mouth, she also painted a loud blow horn party favor coming from his mouth.

 

Standing back she admired her work. "There, now you look the part!"

 

Giggling, she ran from the room too fast to hear his tirade.

 

~Salinye :fairy:

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Camera zooms in on the quiet desperation of a trickling hourglass. A booming patrician voice whispers, "Like sands through an hourglass, such are the days of our Zool."

 

*Cue violins*

 

"Merry Zool... Merry Zool.." err, scratch that - wrong soap! (A horrendous record scrathing noise crashes through the somber mood)

 

The curtain opens to show the portrait of Zool. He looks exactly like he always does except for a little gray peppered on his Ultra-Elvis pompadour, and the super-stylish goatee (cut from a magazine) taped to his chin, and a look of second-childhoodish annoyance on his face. And a party hat. And a noisemaker. And he was holding a large pink Birthday cake. "Noooooooooooooooooooo! Not again! It seems every year on the same day I get older!"

 

"But it's your birthday Zool!" said a sexy female voice from off-screen.

 

"Wha...! Guess I'll have to get that changed."

 

"You can't change your birthday silly!"

 

"Of course I can - I'm just a picture, it's all a matter of perspective."

 

Zool ducks as a pie goes flying into his painting where his face was - and continues flying into the background, finally plopping against the castle wall in the background. "Yikes!" thought Zool. "Enchanted pies - I had better be careful!"

 

"Uh... The acronym of Days of our Lives is DooL. Isn't that cool?"

 

"But 'Days of our Zool' is DooZ. What does that mean?" answered the off-screen sexy female voice with a question.

 

"Frankly Starlet, I don't give a D. Get it - Don't give a..." Zool ducked again, but this time the pie wielding antagonist had aimed low, catching Zool square in the face as he bent down. Face full of meringue, he slowly straightened.

 

The female voice giggled.

 

"Very funny. C'mon dear, why don't you come on out share this with me?" he asked the off-screen sexy female voice.

 

"Okay," oozed the voice - and out stepped an enormous and bewarted troll. "I'm so happy you asked!"

 

Zool froze, even his meringue drooping. "Yeesh. I hang out here for this?"

 

He didn't even see the next pie coming.

 

:P

 

OOC: Thanks everybody! What a wonderful Birthday surprise to have you all wish me a happy birthday! :D

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Jechum floats in...

 

Ode to a Zool...

 

Or was that old is the Zool?

 

Anyway...

 

Here is to little girls!

 

They get older each and every day!

 

When I was 20 and a girl smiled my way I shyly hid my face... http://www.themightypen.net/public/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif

 

When I was 30 and a girl smiled my way I smiled back... B)

 

When I was 40 and a girl smiled my way I smiled and winked back... ;)

 

Now that I'm 50 and a girl smiles my way I check my zipper! :blush:

 

Here is to dirt!

 

The one thing older then us!

 

Jechum floats out...

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Operating on the assumption that Peredhil's post was, indeed, in the wrong thread, I've moved it. Not that there's anything wrong with talking about Weenies in Zool's birthday thread (indeed, it seems oddly appropriate :P), but it kind of needed to be seen in the relevant thread. Can't have Polite Ancient Elder wisdom getting lost in the catacombs of the forum! @_@

 

Anyway... back to the show!

_______________

 

While Zool stands there, licking cream pie off his hands and grumbling at the rubber chicken (who seems bound and determined to attempt to lick it off his face despite its lack of a tongue), Yui-chan approaches his painting, her expression intensely focused. For long moments, she says nothing, simply staring. Straight. At. Zool.

 

He gives her a grin and a cream-flinging wave... and she just stares.

 

He tilts his head, quirking an eyebrow... and she just stares.

 

He waves a hand in front of her face, sticks his tongue out, tugs on his cheeks and goggles his eyes... and she just stares, her expression utterly unchanging.

 

Finally, he decides there can be only one purpose to such an unswerving gaze, and Zool bares his teeth ferally, settling into the chair painted in the midground and spearing her with his own best 'Staring Contest' gaze!

 

... tension mounts.

 

.... a crowd forms.

 

... minutes pass... then hours... and while Yui-chan just stares cooly, Zool is sweating beads of heavily-glazed oil paint. Even with the support of rubber chicken and his ever-faithful toupée, he can feel his determination slipping, his pigment-enchanted eyes burning and itching irritably. Still, he reminds himself of his goal! His purpose!

 

He will not lose!

 

... then it happens. Yui-chan blinks and shakes her head, putting her chin against her fist in consternation.

 

The crowd goes wild! Rubber chicken is squawking! Matt the Toupée is ... looking rather hairy ... Jechum, Gyrfalcon, Xaious and Zadown are all surging forward to contratulate the Ancient on his victory!

 

... and Yui is just sighing and leaning closer to the painting, mumbling, "No... no, I just don't see it."

 

Zool pauses in his jubilation and blinks, peering down at himself (Pants? Check.) and then around the familiar confines of his third-dimensionally-challenged bachelor pad. Nothing seems out of the ordinary, except maybe a creamy splotch on the castle wall. Confused, he scratches his head (earning him an angry ... flop from Matt) and peers down at the frowning human. "Er... huh?"

 

Yui reacts to his voice with a little start, blinking up at the Ancient and blushing lightly as she notices the arrested crowd staring at the both of them. "Oh! Happy birthday, dear Zoolio! I didn't see you there," she laughs uneasily, rubbing the back of her head.

 

Rubber chicken squawks in dismay and falls over, dripping lifelessly from Zool's pocket while Matt the Toupée frizzes to show his exasperation. Zool just kind of lets his jaw drop and glances out at the sea of milling Pennites, all of whom are staring expectantly. They're just as confused as he is.

 

Glancing around nervously, Yui fumbles in her cloak pocket for a moment and pulls out a rather tattered piece of newsprint. Holding it up to Zoolio's perusal, she shrugs a little and mutters, "I was just checking to see if it was true..."

 

The ripped-out article from Art Afficionado Monthly is adorned with a blaring headline: "Pen Scandal! Ancient Zool's Captive Harem! Geriatric Chicanery Revealed!" Below a few paragraphs of poorly-written slander with too many exclamation marks and second-grade grammar is a badly doctored photo of Zool waving to the camera while five semi-nude nymphs cry out for help from the parapets of the castle behind him. Strangely enough, Elvis is chained amongst them, giving the cameraman a thumbs-up.

 

Hovering between surprise, horror and a strong wish that it were all true, Zool glances back up at Yui's face, at a loss for words. She shrugs apologetically and grins a little. "Well, I didn't really believe it or anything... I just ... you know, had to be sure...

 

"Er..." She leans in closer, whispering conspiratorily to the birthday boy, "... why's everyone staring, anyway?"

 

^_^

 

Yours,

~Yui

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"It IS true!" cries Zool again, briefly flexing a muscle from his stool and watching in dismay as the staring crowds slowly begin to dissipate. The Ancient Master of Magic and Mischief sighs as several mumbles of disappointment echo throughout the Cabaret Room, and immediatly turns his attention to the Art Afficionado Monthly article that had started the whole rumor in the first place.

 

"Strange..." mutters Zool while casually removing the maringue pie from his face and placing it on a convenient Salinye-painted serving plate. "I wonder how that rumor was sparked?"

 

Meanwhile, on the outskirts of the quarters of the Pen.

 

"Heya, heya!" exclaims Wyvern, adjusting the sunglasses that rest on his face along with the shady-looking bermuda vacation clothes he wears. The unskillfully-disguised lizard picks up several copies of bootleg DVDs from a cheap street stand that rests in front of him, and shouts:

 

"Get yer bootleg adult DVDs, right here! And don't forget to check out that Summer sizzler "ZOOLander," not yet released in theatres and based on a true story! If harems, chickens, and Zool are your thing, it's finger-lickin good!"

 

;-p

 

OOC: Hope you had a great one, Zoolio. :)

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