HopperWolf

I like the first and last stanzas best... they have a more inhuman feel to them. And I think the flow a little better. I can see what you are trying to do throughout the poem (at least I think so) And you accomplish it well But I like those to stanzas best, they appeal to my more sci-fi inclined nature

*g* that was a cool movie. i loved the music

Hopper rushes after Rune and hugs her back. I am glad that you could connect to my poem. and I am sorry for you pain. Hopper sniffles and wanders off too

LMAO, those EQ quotes are sooo true

*s* nice. it flows pretty well. Definitely like the non standard rhythm, it enhances the exuberance. yay, life can be good, see? see? SEE?

hehe, it's called Sonnets from the portugese XLIII by Elizabeth Barret Browning it's a bit long winded eh? but a good sonnet hence my choice.

Chilling. I like it. was there any specific event or "conflict" you were thinking of?

happy hippity hoppity birthday *birthday howls* *hugs* even if you don't like the holiday the presents will more than make up for it

on the whole it was great.... but there wasn't enough s*x

my sentiments too tass she replies to so many posts but her own stuff is amazing.

he's right actually, or at least so I was taught, that a sonnet is a love poem. though rhyme and metre aren't rigid there are certain generalisations. RIval: I had the same thought as you I wanted to write the anti-sonnet. *g* I called it Tennos hehe. It's structurally based on a pretty famous sonnet. How do you love me? Let me count the ways. You love me in the sorrow, dispair and strife Your soul can feel, when feeling in your sight, For the comfort used and thrown away. You love me to the limit of keeping hopes Necessity, by hand and pitiful. You love me partly, divided by all; You love me barely, nothing below. You love me with no passion, that I use In my new griefs, and lose my childish needs. You love me with a love that seems untrue; An after-thought - when I give all of me; You, the hope of all my life, and you choose To doubt all that I lay for you to see.

they're right, a lovely piece, reminds me somewhat of the raven in metre and the darker tones, if read with growing anxiety. tis good!

I like it. simplicity.

I see regret over things done and a hopelessness, no reconciliation available. It's hard to move on with a life of imperfection, stripped of a certain niavety that can never be regained. The temptation to end it instead, because you can't face the truths you have discovered about yourself or the world, can be great. Or, the last ten minutes of school can last FOREVER

me? change? wouldn't dream of it!! Forever Silly!

that's fantastic, very powerful The repetition of the line "I cried over you" is used superbly - it flows beautifully in the poem, as the poem flows wonderfully as a whole. "with your horde of young women about you like flies to a dead horse" Good line, especially when followed by that repetition. Emphasises the the conflict of emotion and between that emotion and the head, as every teen has I would perhaps think you could repeat that line once or twice more, punctuating her pain, reoeated explantation that she cried and the importance of the act. Amazing poem. The oportunity for mere teen angst was there aand I think you have avoided it. Teen angst can oft times be too whiney. This is not. well done

Arch: Have you considered that we naturally seek a God or some higher being because we Know it to be there, or we are designed to? Why else would every culture, while seperately evolving, always assume a religion?

oooh yeah, forgot about my address all that nervous tension. Burf_Man@hotmail.com Yay! accepted.... but now with a dreaded fear of beauty parlors ....

the person above me has a dirty mind http://www.themightypen.net/public/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif it's true!

I have known people who saught to numb there pain in many different ways and it is very hard to watch Harder to stay with them. Alchahol was far from the worst, but it was still terrible.

From the depths of Shadow, Emerges a Beast, Two blood red jewels peering Through a curtain of darkness. Creeping forward, Emerges the Beast, Torch light sliding across, Like water over rocks. Slyly silent, Reveals the Beast, Chaos black scales easily rippling Over a frome of just held power. Easy elegance, Approaches the Beast, Graceful Predator, quiet, Resonating dangerous calm. Fearful display, Rears up the Beast, Fallen Angel’s wings, Burnt and blackened in Heaven’s Grace. Irresistable, Attacks the Beast, With frightening beauty, Dead men’s eyes sing. I am wondering if I should title this "Dragon" instead. what do you think?

funnily enough yes. But, it was where I started, and was for a long time somewhat a theme with me... mirrors, windows and glass. I wanted to go back to my roots but look at it slightly differently. you can see some similarity between this and the first poem I ever wrote called Stuck (it's posted around here somewhere...) but there is a deffinite difference in perspective.

This poem really got to me in that sad way. I could really relate to what was written. Whether the circumstance is the same or not the words match exactly sometimes. Thought you would just like to know that it's a wonderful piece, the phrasing is excellent, and that it reaches out to at least me on more personal level

*s* it was my pleasure... it is good to know when your work touches someone.

hah! I knew it ! *boogies*