Vlad Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 I could kill us all right now, Wouldn't be hard at all, I could kill you right now, Without so much- As a second thought, Just look me in the eye, And tell me that- You wanna end it all, Turn into the curb, Get smashed by a semi, Small little thing won't save, Your life is in my hands, A twitch or slip, Lapse of focus, And we are gone, [instrumental interlude; start lively, then mellow out] gentle as the sea breeeze, quiet as the wind, slips by like sand between your fingertips. peaceful life for you and me. it could go on for-ever, but it will only last till dawn, riding down the highway, singing this melody, i want to stay with you, don't leave me here, alone, oh so alone, trapped by my own misery, searching endlessly for love, i don't know where to look, [instrumental interlude; start slow, the get happy] help... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blondemoon Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 Nice Vlad...echoes my own sentiments pretty closely. Especially after a bad day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoomGaze Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 Vlad on a rampage... i like it, actually this is pretty good. I've been in your spot a couple of times, haha and boy, did i wanna kill someone, i got so mad haha, but then i realized that i could and i wanted to stay with them, but it was a lil too late.. Good Job nicely written poem Thx for sharing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 Eloquent pathos in the car. I like it!!!! You captured muderous/lonely/depressed feelings while driving beautifully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rune Posted February 15, 2003 Report Share Posted February 15, 2003 Ack, Scary thoughts. Often we have to remind ourselves that we do put so much trust in those around us..especially while driving in a car. As for the poem/song, it is very nicely written. Its also confusing, which I like. ^__^ It works well in this case. It helps to sort of guide the reader through the writers emotions and the flow is erratic, just as I imagine the driver's thoughts to be awhile driving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaneus Posted February 16, 2003 Report Share Posted February 16, 2003 I like this poem. Good job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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