Appy

*giggles and thwirls around in her new yellow dress* Funny *giggle* I like it

Ptraci grumbled Why do they always bother me with noise at times that I'm so close in finding her or getting rid of her? With a big sigh she unfolded from her meditation stance and stretched like a cat. Someone was going to pay for this.. Flinging her door open she noticed that the noise was comming from the Cabaret Room. What a surprise, they can't just have a quiet party can't they? I'm gonna put a stop to this right now! Stamping along the corridor she, uncaring, bumped into several writer's and for some reason people knew she was comming after only a few meters.. there was a clear path to the Cabaret Room now. Legs spread and with her hands on her hips Ptraci stood before the big doors, listening. There was one big crash which seemed to be the last and then a moment of silence... someone coughed into a microphone and started to speak slowly and unsure. Ptraci put a hand in front of her eyes in emberrasment.. Sometimes they are so ickyly unsure and being cute about it! Ptraci growled and pushed open the big doors just in time to here that part of the speech which was important to *her* Well, congratulations to Appy, Arwen, Doomgaze, Regel and Solivagus! For the effort you've put in, the time and the caring we have decideed that it's high time to make you Pages of the Pen. You're all people we're really glad to have around. Frozen in place Ptraci gasped No! not now! I'm so close! Stay away! But the hearing of the name worked it's own inevitable way and slowely her appearances changed softer.. her eyes lost it's mad gleam and her stance slumped a bit and looked more insecure then before. *Appy held her head for a while against the throbbing and hoping it wouldn't fall off. The pain was worse then ever, this fight the biggest so far, but she knew she'd win.. here among her friends. After what seemed hours but only was seconds Appy looked up and ran the last sentence she heard again, then she saw the faces turned towards her, all smiling and filled with expectance and surprise about her timely appearance* *stammer* thank you don't know what else to say.. thank you *small smile* *Appy uprighted herself to a less unsure pose and thought; This is what i'm here for, to write, I'm allowed to be a little proud now.. even though someone whispered this event in my ear before, nothing was ever sure. Enjoy being proud of yourself for once... you deserve it* And with a big smile on her face Appy skipped along the corridors and bounced her usual bounce, saying 'thank you' and 'oi' (while waving) to all she passed OOC: congratulations to ALL ofcourse! *huggles*

*gasps and utters a small thank you* I feel a bit idiotic at the moment, since I kinda expected this, at least a month ago I already kinda "knew".... thanks to wyvern Still thank you ... *feels embarrased and hides under her blanky again thinking; It shouldn't be so hard to fake feelings of surprise.. or to cover the truth with it.. should it? Sometimes I wish I could lie* PS: this would be a great concept to introduce Ptraci though.... Challenge accepted Gwai

~ I once heard someone (Lady Celes I think) say there's still a lot of room for different tongues here... soo... I present my very first german poem ~ Manchmal Manchmal werden mir die Wörter geklaut Die, die dafür da sind, das ich reden kann Manchmal werden mir die Bilder genommen Die, die dafür da sind, das ich sehen kann Manchmal werden mir die Geräusche gestohlen Die, die dafür da sind, das ich hören kann Aber nie verschwinden die Gefühle Die, die dafür da sind, das ich Leben kann ---------------------------------- Rough on-the-spot translation (it's horrid, might try again later on) Often Often they steal my words Those that are there, so I can speak Often they steal my pictures Those that are there, so I can see Often they steal my sounds Those that are there, so I can hear But never do feelings dissapear Those that are there, so I can live

Happy Birthday! *hugs*

Purdy! love it too uhm... Happy Halloween.. ? Am I the only one who thinks that's a ... well... a bit odd to say on a night where ghosts are allowed to roam the earth once more... without the usual boundries? oh well... have fun from me

*applauds while giggling or giggles while applauding* that was great! *giggles some more*

*hugs* welcom back hun cute lil poem this, like wren said indeed, getting better with every post (that's why I keep 'shouting' at you in chat to post on the boards immediatly! ) *hugs again*

great pictures, great messages... great work, made me smile *hugs*

hmm didn't mind you couldn't sleep when reading this.. I like it a lot. again you seem to put into words and form what i'm thinking about *rolls eyes but smiles* I loved: 'My thoughts left unchecked Grow palpable, To hurt me as only they can.' I have that too often... even if it's just the barbie commercial over and over again in my head while suffering migraine (I wouldn't wish that to happen to my worst enemy... it was hell quadripled (if that's a word) *shudders*) Nice work.. oh, one last thing, it has this chaotic quality, as if it's an untidy room... fits great *hugs*

*laughs* great works both of them. thank you for sharing

always welcom and i'm not made of sugar, I can stand huge amounts of moist *hugs*

*meeps and hides under her blanky* how i know that feeling you just described... if it is what you just described... 'nothing' indeed I always like to say that I grew over it though.... too much to feel and live for, too much memories to be cherished and spit out... useless to be human without feelings no? Something like that anyways... Just that I know what you mean... never give up, keep digging inside yourself, find those parts of you that bring you the basics, the ability to be happy, the ability to mourn, the ability to stand in the storm with your chin up and without faltering... they helped me lots... maybe it works for you too Oh you just inspired me I think.. thank you for that.... and for now, chin up and keep going, loved the poem *hugs again*

Wish we were able to see inside heads to feel inside hearts to touch and know and feel comfertable again with our knew found knowledge Great poem, loved the uhm, what's that called *hits her sniffling head*... *sigh* cold playing tricks with my memory of words, anyways loved the way you used the words.... you know what I mean I hope My little effort above is to show that No-one is perfect, even if they seem so....act so.. make you feel so.... yes, in such cases I really wish we were able to know for sure.... cuz no matter what I say, you will not ever really know until you see.... *sigh* was going to cheer you up lol...and this is not gonna help I guess..... head's not working, sorry. I'll leave now after a big *hug*

Keep em comming!

hmm not to be overly critisising but uhm.. there's a tendency in your work to always have the same rythm. I know that rythm, used it aswell.. and I got tired of it ... mainly because it's almost too easy to use, and for me it derives the attention from the words, and I start reading it like I listen to music... sit back and go with the flow, not really listening to every tone. I guess what I want to say is this: be carefull with this kind of poetry, I'd say there's nothing wrong with it in general, just that an overabundance of it numbs the minds of both reader and writer and the words get lost. *wonders if she's being too harsh, remembers it's Loki and thinks 'naww, he knows where it comes from '* I hope I made some sense, if not, I can try again *hugs* Oh, I liked Death a lot tho... short but powerfull, yesss *thumbs up*

*nod* *hug* well said i'm afraid *hugs again*

*huggles* even though you'll probably won't read this until wednesday .. great piece hun, like doomgaze already said, sad and beautiful at the same time. Nice work! And you know what I think... we'll help, trust on that *hugs*

Just read your comment Wyvern, and if i may tackle those points you brought up and say how "I" read them. I'd say there was nothing overdramatic and even go further as to saying that exactly the action of Sara wanting a last picture shows their relationship to her daughter and possibly another part of why Kyra jumped. The coldness showing from that last picture moment, the feeling that Sara only had Kyra to show off that she has a child/daughter. I think it fits the overall picture of their relationship perfectly. Now hairsplitting my own words, I'd say that they indeed accepted that they cannot stop Kyra.. then what else would they want at that point as a last picture as to remember her as she was? Again coldness there.. rationality lost on an artists soul like Kyra's. In short, it fits in my opinion I had no problem with Kyra's arrogant attitude. It takes a great deal of courage to kill yourself. The arrogancy was well picked as last emotion. Shutting off all feelings, pretending to be dead already before the actual dying. yes.. again it fit greatly in my opinion As said numerous times already, these are my opinion's and how I lived/read the story... nothing needs to be done with it and I didn't want to attack anyone, just sharing my thoughts *hugs again*

goosebumps all over my body now, that was eerily beautifull... you are definitly in your right to call this a masterpiece of yours *hugs*

Oh, yes, i do mean "than" Thanks! and that must've been the clearest explanation I heard so far... difficult words indeed, even my english teacher never was able to explain it So good job and thanks again

Thanks Ayshela *sad smile* yes on your first comment and I'm sorry on the second *hugs* Now for two revisions of Difficulties, the normal and the fancy one ~ I should know better and post poems AFTER letting them simmer for a while, Difficulties was written today ~ Difficulties (revision I) It is difficult being one of honour in this honourless world It is difficult to keep to the truth in this lying society It is difficult to be yourself and only one in this grouping community It is impossible to find self in these bodies of reflection What else to do than to drift and only be... Going with the flow Where ever it may bring us ----------------------------------------- Difficulties (revision II) It is difficult being one of honour in this honourless world It is difficult to keep to the truth in this lying society It is difficult to be yourself and only one in this grouping community It is impossible to find self in these bodies of reflection What else to do than to drift and only be... Going with the flow Wherever it may bring us

You know that I feel That I live for you I know that you feel that you care about me We love eachother Original: Jij weet dat ik voel dat ik om jou leef Ik weet dat jij voelt Dat jij om mij geeft Wij houden van elkaar ------------------------------------- Raindrops It's raining Thick drops fall from the sky It's raining Thoughts in my head I try to catch them Like a small child tries to catch snowflakes in it's mouth As soon as you have one it dissapears Like music they weave thoughts about the past thoughts on you aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I scream but nobody's looking I don't exist not for you not for anybody I seek for words about the past Original: Regendruppels Het regent dikke druppels vallen uit de hemel Het regent gedachten in mijn hoofd Ik probeer ze te vangen zoals een klein kind sneeuwvlokken probeert te vangen met zijn mond Zodra je er één hebt is hij meteen weer weg Als muziek golven ze door gedachten over vroeger gedachten aan jou aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Ik gil maar niemand kijkt ik besta niet niet voor jou niet voor niemand Ik zoek naar woorden voor vroeger ~7 March 1994, Leek~ ------------------------------------- Again And I'm so tired already Trains thunder through my head each carriage filled with thoughts "Fleeing from Yesterday Repressed by Today Caught in Tomorrow" The world below me is a turning globe The world above me is one big nothing The world around me does not make me feel It doesn't exist anymore Only I am left Alone.. with too many people around me Original: Opnieuw En ik ben al zo moe treinen denderen door m'n hoofd elke wagon gevuld met gedachten "Voor gister op de vlucht door vandaag teneer gedrukt in morgen gevangen" De wereld onder mij is een draaiende bol De wereld boven mij is één groot niets De wereld om mij heen doet me helemaal niks hij bestaat niet meer Alleen ik ben er nog Alleen... met te veel mensen om me heen ~28-11-1996, Peize~ ----------------------------------------- A finger your finger over my body following the curves of your fantasy A beam of sunlight I walk on it towards you but the beam is long too long Will I ever reach you? Original: Een vinger jou vinger over m'n lichaam hij volgt de lijnen van jou fantasie Een straal zonlicht ik loop erop naar jou toe maar de straal is lang tè lang Zal ik je ooit bereiken? ~28-11-1996, Peize~ ---------------------------------- Those eyes They see my inner me My shriveled inner me and hug it carress it Giving it the love That it had to miss all this time and never really knew It is just bearable But one day it won't be anymore The I'll have to let go Let those eyes and that body still hug it the way they do now Original: Die ogen Ze zien mijn binnenste ik Mijn verkeukelde binnenste ik en knuffelen het strelen het Geven het de liefde Die het al die tijd moest missen en nooit gekend heeft Het is nog net te verdragen Maar op een dag niet meer Dan moet ik het laten gaan Late die ogen en dat lichaam het dan nog knuffelen Zoals ze nu doen ~16-06-1997, Peize~ ------------------------------- 10 seconds Three scarfs, bound together my neck inbetween Sounds dissapate Black in front of my eyes A hand on my arm Two arms around me 10 seconds longer... Original: 10 seconden Drie sjaals aan elkaar Mijn nek ertussen Geluiden vervagen Zwart voor mijn ogen Een hand op mijn arm Twee armen om me heen 10 seconden langer... ~5-10-1998, Groningen~ ----------------------------------- Helplessly I stand at the edge of the abyss One step forward and I am off One step back and I am going on But I balance on the edge and course along the abyss Untill the mountain ends Original: Machteloos Sta ik aan de rand van de kloof één stap vooruit en ik ben eraf één stap terug en ik ga door Maar ik balanceer op het randje En loop langs de kloof Tot de berg ophoudt ~11 september 1998, Groningen~ ----------------------------------------- I'm being torn by Lonelyness My heart torn by Lonelyness My body torn by Lonelyness Will this forever haunt me? Original: Ik word verscheurd door Eenzaamheid Mijn hart verscheurd door Eenzaamheid Mijn lichaam verscheurd door Eenzaamheid Blijft dit me achtervolgen? ~16-09-1998, Groningen~

Urge This face written with anguish mouth corners pulled down and twisting eyes swivel growing big closing them does not help against the urge I'm ready to scream

It is difficult being one of honour in this honourless world It is difficult to keep to the truth in this lying society It is difficult to be yourself and only one in this grouping community It is impossible to find self in these bodies of reflection What else to do then to be... and to float and drift Going with the flow Where ever it may bring us