Alaeha

I didn't catch this the first time around. If you have four feet (eight syllables, when you use iambs) in a line, it's tetrameter. This one, I think, alternates between four and three. So it's a combination of Tetrameter and trimeter. In case you hadn't found out by now. Quantameter... Wow... that'd be either very, very, very small, or incredibly large. I can't remember which for the life of me.

I'm sorry... We'll miss you. *Hugs*

Yay! Thank you to everyone! Thus far, my birthday's been pretty good. Weird dreams that jump from climbing over a large sized hole to get into bed to an interview with the two authors of a book that was sitting on the bed are always fun. (Can't speak for Yuki, though) *Big Hugs to All*

I don't even need to expand it, Canid. I see the Howling Macabre. ;P

Umm... Honestly, I have issues with the love dove rhyme just because it's so overused. Not saying to universally avoid it, just to exercise extreme caution. In the wrong circles, writing a poem with that rhyme is much like "charging into battle, naked, like the celts" to quote Skippy's list. Though the list had nothing to do with poetry, it's considered unwise and just not done. I'd recommend, if you want to use "love" just not ending the line with it, and picking a more variable word like "thing", or "stuff". Otherwise, I love it. As Ayshela said, it's the essence of the Pacific Northwet.

I'm with Hopperwolf. I'm also with Valdar. But Hopperwolf's idea (which was also my first thought) is definitely cooler to have as your avatar.

My Dad is in on that project, actually. He's working on post-proofing a couple of books, I think. Never even thought to make the connection though... Online books... online writing guild... and a shiny. which of these does not belong? Obviously, the online books. Shinies and writing guilds always belong.

It's the question of whether to suffer the evil you know or to risk the evil you don't. No matter how shiny the reward is, if the odds seem insurmountable, it's often easier to just leave it be.

And one Finnish Ear Fu Sensei.

But if it hits the ground at that speed... there's not going to be a bear to sew the stuffing into. A teddy bear is a terrible thing to waste.

In this case I'd back Tzimfemme 99%. The other one percent goes to Sorciere because she's right too, but Tzimfemme has the shinies... *Goes off to chase shinies*

But that's a horrible thing to do to a poor, unassuming teddy bear... Crud. Now I'm going to be depressed all day thinking about that teddy bear falling hundreds of feet and hitting the ground at Mach 3. Oh well. I forgive you. And to answer the question... What he (Peredhil) said. *Mischievous Grin*

"It doesn't make any sense!" Vileil muttered to herself as she entered the near-empty Health Wing. "None of it!" She knew Heinrich... He wouldn't have done something like this. Even desperate, he wouldn't have destroyed someone's power... the idea didn't even occur to most Jedi. It was dishonorable. Even with her much-acclaimed self control, Vileil couldn't keep the hint of a sneer off her face at the thought. But even Lorna couldn't deny that he had done it. It didn't matter now whether she would have believed him capable of it or not. He was. And there was Lorna, asleep in the chair just inside. Poor girl... she was worried nearly to tears about the man - Fable, she had said. Vileil sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, waiting for Lorna to awaken, but gave up on waiting.. She had a question for her. "Lorna..." "Hmm?" Lorna's eyes snapped open, registered her friend, and closed again. "Where's Fable?"

Hmm... reminds me of one of my Dad's random cutesy sayings. Some people learn by hearing about other people's mistakes. Some people learn by watching other people's mistakes. Some of us just have to pee on the electric fence for ourselves. I've done all three. If you'd like, I can recommend a few good emotional urologists... Nicely done. Good to see structure making something of a return.

Gained suspicions that a former friend's boyfriend (who I insist vehemently is an invertebrate - sp?) may be scared of me. Was headed to the "rest"room (Whatever you want to call the room with all the toilets) as he was leaving the men's room. I swear he grabbed his broom (he works there) and bolted. Either he saw me or he thought he was going to be late for something. Either's possible. Either way it was funny.

Umm... crud. *Dittos Ayshela* *BIG Hugs* Happy Birthday! (Double Huggage etc. for good measure )

Truth be told, I've read much worse than either version. And to be blunt, if the original version were horrible, I wouldn't have bothered to read it, let alone suggest improvements... *Hugs*

Personally, I maintain that I want my body sold to someone who will coat it in molten plastic, turning me into a shiny statue. The idea of having people pose next to me for pictures at my funeral makes it worth it. (and the idea of my family making money off my body, rather than the people who run graveyards) But maybe that's just me...

I like this... but there's one thing that I have to suggest. you might try taking the last away in the last stanza (first word of the fourth line) into the third line. Just bump it back a bit. It would help keep the momentum going a bit, I think, by reducing the habitual endline pause, and would even out the syllable count as well. *Hugs* Nicely done.

Personally... I'm not seeing the point to the use of "amphetamines" to be honest. Unless it's supposed to be themed on a true story. And I can't see a real person drowning something in them. Most people would either use them or sell them, realistically speaking. That's why it seems out of place. And... you might try breaking it up into chunks so it doesn't seem so long. Might try ending the first stanza after "mother of the Anti-Christ.", the second after "The snake skin purse would never hold enough change.", the third after "strewn carelessly across the corner chair.", and the fourth at the end? Just my thoughts on it... *Hugs*

"I'm just too weak to cry." For some reason, that line, as well as all of the second stanza, hits really hard. *Hugs* Nicely done.

My answer to that question is invariably "It's not half anything. It's empty. I was thirsty. Is this a problem?" I like this. Can't really think of any suggestions except to put in the missing quote mark at the beginning of these lines: I think 'tis you the fool, not I!" So says the fool. (also my favorite lines, I think)

Yay! Happy Birthday!

*Hugs* Happy Birthday!

Yay! Now I'm not the only Villanelle-r here. *Hugs* Glad to see you again. Writing an essay right now, so this is sort of just an "I read this" post (Sorry about that) One suggestion, though: It's generally best not to repeat a specific rhymeword... so if you can think of something else for one of the instances of Battle-worn, that would help it a bit, I think. I loved that poem though. The Battered Bastards is a beautiful phrase - and fun to say. (I found myself in the streets of WW2 France, myself, when I read that)