The Portrait of Zool Posted April 17, 2003 Report Share Posted April 17, 2003 Ah, how often we speak of the good 'ol days - though most often the good 'ol days were anything but good. Still, some good things did come out of the whatever 'ol days - like the Pen! As many of you know, and probably just as many of you do not, The Pen is Mightier than the Sword! grew out of an online MUD (multiUser Dungeon) game called Archmage. Terribly primitive by todays standards - heh, even by those days standards - it was nevertheless a lot of fun, plus it attracted a huge variety of players. Archmage was a turn based game, collecting turns over time which were then taken in forwarding the game. What to do while you were waiting for more turns? Go to the Archmage bulletin board and hang out, of course! Given the battle strategy theme of the game, however, it was only natural that the battle was often translated to the board. Because Archmage was basically without graphics, other than a few stills that accompanied the various information pages in the game, a lot of the game play, much more than you would think, was played with words. Oh, certainly if you did not know how to play the game you were in trouble - there are few things online as satisfying as torching a million of your opponents soldiers - but how much more fun was unnerving your opponent with a few well placed barbs! On the boards too, many battles were won or lost depending on one's skill with a Pen, err, keyboard, rather than the sword. In this atmosphere, the Pen was born, even one day taking on a life of it's own. Now, many of you may be surprised at the Pen's violent roots, for here we emphasize creativity and learning for it's own sake, as well we should. But it wasn't always like that, and here is your very own personal glimpse into the mists of the Pen's ancient history. WARNING! This is not for the faint of heart! In the ensuing thread, with dates and sigs intact to give you a 'feel' for how it really was, there is more blood than an L.A. pileup at rush hour. Enjoy. (PS Watch for appearences from some of your favorite Pen personalities) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Portrait of Zool Posted April 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2003 Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted July 31, 2000 06:03 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This topic is for all who want to talk about anything.(preferably Archmage) As long as you keep it clean this will be a great place for newbies to learn new way to playand get better at it.(p.s. Roleplaying is allowed and welcome) ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS ******************************************************************** Woods, Crooner from Hell Veteran Posts: 251 Registered: Apr 2000 posted July 31, 2000 08:01 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The saloon doors swing open to reveal the lucky first customers of the Inn of the Assassin Magi. Considering who it is, this is not so lucky for the owners of this fine establishment. Three hooded figures saunter towards the bar. One is lithe and feminine, the stretches in her hood suggesting an elfin heritage. "****," whispers Akabar to his comely barmaid. "Elves only drink mineral water. I need Dwarves! Or Men of Terra! And who are those other two? That lanky dude has got to be an Ent - I can smell him from here. The other looks human. Ish. Just be cool and let me deal with this." "Hokey-dokey" says the barmaid who is tall, blonde and possibly Scandinavian. At least that's what the agency told Akabar. He greets his first patrons as they reach the bar. "Afternoon, er, folks! What can I get you? If I may be so bold as to make a suggestion, we stock all three kinds of Ol'Peculiar - very strong, mind**** and goodwaytodie and..." The Elf breaks him off mid-sentence. "I'll have a mineral water. My colleague Woods" - she points at the Ent - "will have a sap and coke and my other colleague, Iuz, will have a generic frothy bavarian beer. And we haven't got till Armageddon so step on it." "Er, right you are missy, I'll just...glurgg!..." He gets no further because a surprisingly strong elfin arm has grabbed him by the scruff of his jerkin and lifted him several inches off the floor. The Elf fixes a 50 megaton gaze on him and says,emphasising every word, "Don't ...call...me...missy!" "Er, what shall I call you then" squeaks Akabar. "OneMeanElf is my name. But you can call me Boss. I run the Treant Hill Mob. I am evil, ruthless and I suffer from permanent PMS. You dig?" "Yes,er,Boss, I dig, I dig!!" The Elf drops Akabar who scrambles to his feet and tries to look accommodating. He glances around him. The tree and the human are chatting up his barmaid. This isn't what he had in mind on his first day... "Now," continues the Elf. "Let's try again shall we? We like the look of this place, we mobsters. We might be spending quite a lot of time in here, so long as you get some proper Sicilian dishes on the menu and some photos of Joe DiMaggio on the walls. But, I gotta tell you for your own good, there are a lotta mean, evil and downright unfriendly people in these parts. That's why you're gonna need a bit of protection. Me and my boys are willing to give you that protection. And if you'd like to see your way to giving us a monthly gift for our services, then so be it. But, of course, there's no obligation and you can always simply refuse..." The Elf leaves the sentence hanging in the air. There is a cracking sound; the human is playing with his knuckles. The Ent is rustling his branches. The air-conditioning is circulating menace throughout the room... "Sure!" says Akabar, breaking the tension."I was just thinking I could do with some, er, friends round here. Let's have a drink to celebrate, eh? All the drinks on the house!" "Naturally," responds the Elf. There is the faintest hint of a grin. ****************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted July 31, 2000 12:23 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- first of all don't speak for me. i can do that my self. second Akabar is a powerful mage not a bar owner he only lives there. Third Akabar wouldn't need the protection of a mob and flirting with the barmaid(the owners wife) will only make him mad. ::Raises his hand and points his fingers toword the elf Suddenly the elf raises off the chair and goes flying into the opposite wall:: "Are you Going to buy something or not" ::Says while looking at the human and the tree as he forma a fire ball in his hand:: ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS ******************************************************************** Gohan Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Jul 2000 posted July 31, 2000 12:44 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A hooded and cloaked figure enters the bar. His face is unable to be seen. ::sits at the bar:: "Can i get a Martini" ::says to the bartender:: *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted July 31, 2000 08:28 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Never mess with a Mobster. Especially not the Boss. 'Cause you never know when the shortest Mobster might be hiding somehwere near. "YAAAAAAAAGH!", screams the put out Akabar, as eight inches of scythe are inserted point first into his ankle. Looking in rage and agony, he sees a fleshless, toothy muzzle protruding from a black hood grinning up at him evilly as its owner withdraws it's scythe. He kicks out viciously, fireball and elf forgotten, and the offending party is sent flying. ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 01, 2000 05:15 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::Turns to Squeaker, points at him and the fire ball goes flying toward him at great speeds.:: "Eat that" : n impact the fire ingulfs his head and burns his hair off turning him bald.:: "Don't mess with me either." ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 01, 2000 07:35 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Into the bar steps a figure dressed in shabby black leather, trimmed in red. He has an enormous head of thick matted black hair sticking straight up on his head. As he enters, the smell of smoke pervades the bar. *Witnesses the preceeding posts* "Hey! That's my friend!" Zool throws a 'Brooch of protection' at The Grim Squeaker's impact point on the other wall. As him, the wall, the fireball, and the brooch all come together The Grim Squeaker is protected from all harm. Akabar only thinks he sees his hair burn off, since he didn't have any to start with. Zool snaps his fingers. Suddenly Akabar's chest starts to expand. "We certainly think a lot of ourself, don't we?" says Zool. Akabar's chest is now so puffed up he can't put his hands together. Red faced he grunts "I'm going to get you!" The whole bar is laughing at Akabar. ------------------- Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What Next?! *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted August 01, 2000 08:06 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *clackclackclackclack* The Grim Squeaker applauds. SQUEAK. ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 01, 2000 12:48 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A cloaked and masked figure walked into the bar. He saw the owner getting beaten by a bunch a mobsters. He studied the brawl for a moment so that he would know who were involved. It appeared that the elf, ent, skeletal mouse, and two humans were ganging up on Akabar. "I might as well rescue him," the cloaked figure muttered. He then pulled two frying pans out of his pockets. The figure then walked up to Zool and hit him with one of the frying pans. Zool goes flying across the room and through one of the windows. The figure then prepared to attack the remaining four mobsters. ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 01, 2000 01:22 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::Points his fingers at himself and suddenly his chest goes to its normal size:: "That wasn't nice." ::Turns to the Tree and throws 5 ball of fire at it Burning it to a crisp and killing it. Then he points at the elf and ent and throw poison venom at them which on contact makes them sick and unable to attack defend or even do any thing about it(The effects waer off when the person is dead). He then turns to Squeaker and launches 10 lightning bolts at him electricuting him and killing him then he turns to Racouol:: "Thank you for your help the next round for you is on the house." ::sits back in the corner booth staring at the chared,fried, and ill bodys on the floor. Then looks at the broken window.:: "I just fixed that one too." As my qoute says- ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** oODemosOo Newbie Posts: 16 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 01, 2000 02:25 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After hearing the sounds of fighting, Demos enters the room. As usual he's wearing the simple red cowl but a leaf sticks to it here and there. The color makes it hard to spot the blood stains. A huge canine creature with rust-red skin and smoke rising from its vibrating nostrils walks by his side. The young mage looks tired but satisfied - but then notices the hound at his side. No! Didn't I say you'd have to stay outside? Look at this place. All wood. Imagine the havoc you'd cause! The creature doesn't seem to realize the anger in its masters voice and happily wags its tail. A small burst of fire errupts from the mouth of the hound and the mages' cowl begins to smoulder. Furiously the mages manages to put out the fire. So this is what you want? The mages pulls forth a rather large stick from his robes. Excited, the hound looks at his master. Ok then. Fetch, boy! He throws the stick out the door, watches the creature follow, barking loudly and then turns to the ensemble. It's crazy about treantfingers, you know? Demos looks at the apparently crippled mobsterbodies lying about him and then walks to the bar. A glass of wine, if you please? Still a bit chocked about the whole incident the barmaid winces but then finally fetches a goblet and fills it. The young mage takes a sip and takes a look around. Brilliant hit, Racouol is it? I wonder where you picked up skills like that - quite effective though. Demos is the name. I hope you don't mind that I join your... errr... little gathering. And Akabar, perhaps throwing balls of fire, lightning and venom around was a bit excessive? Everyone knows the power of magic so be subtle, inventive, surprising instead of casting unimaginative spells everywhere you turn. Brushing away more leafs Demos leans against the bar to see how things turn out. ------------------ Demos Keeper of the Inner Flame *********************************************************************** Gohan Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 01, 2000 08:06 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- after watching the events gohan gets up and walks over to the barmaid. "CAN I GET MY MARTINI NOW?!?!?!" ::says it in a booming evil sounding voice:: the barmaid goes to fetch the martini. ::goes over to akabar, demos, and racouol:: "looks like the three of you are pretty powerful, can i join the little party forming over here?" ::sits down next to akabar:: *********************************************************************** P51mus Veteran Posts: 860 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 01, 2000 09:03 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A mysterious mage covered with a robe (kind of like the jedis in Star Wars) enters the bar, followed by a Stone Golem The stone golem doesn't exactly fit through the door and makes a hole roughly twice the size of the original door when it walks through the mysterious mage sighs Well at least you used the door this time, Bob...... ------------------ -P51mus The Schizophrenic Mage Owner of The Message Board's longest Signature Friend of Bob the stone golem Server 1 P51mus The Knights of The Mist Ager Server 1 Slavik The Brotherhood of Nod Blitz Server II P51mus The Order of Storms And isn't sanity really just a one trick pony anyway? I mean, all you get is one trick! Rational thinking. But when you're good and crazy, oooh!! The sky's the limit! -The Tick Fate is like a caged gorilla. It will pelt you with dung if you mock it. -Warriv (Diablo 2) *********************************************************************** Lord Bane Newbie Posts: 15 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 01, 2000 10:16 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -A mage covered in a black satin cloack and electric blue hair slowly and cautiously enters the enormus doorway theat had just been made by a golem before him. Looking at the bodies strewn over the place the mage walks over to the barmaid and ask for a reisling.- "Well, well, it seems that I missed out on all the fun. Be it very wise to use fire spells in a wooden place?" -The mage walks over to the five standing mages and the barmaid brings him his glass of wine.- "Greatings fellow mages. This inn is new and I see that you already have had a ruckus. My name is Lord Bane, I know of a couple of you, Racouol have we not met on another server?. So what is our topic of discossion this day?" Lord Bane *********************************************************************** Swordmage Veteran Posts: 213 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 02, 2000 04:46 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The door to the bar opens, and a handsome young mage enters. On his shoulder rests a rather large blade, and he is being followed by a floating spellbook. Looking around in these unfamiliar surroundings, Swordmage nevertheless spots a few familiar faces... or rather, a few familiar corpses. He sighs. Oh Woods... what did I tell you about getting too close to fire? Swordmage walks over to the charred husk of the great ent bard, and examines it. Phew... this is not so bad as last time... no oil has been used, and it seems this was some minor spell... Slaps himself on the forehead. Of course this was a minor spell... I forgot... this is the Kindergarten of Terra... Hmmm... a simple Resurrection should do the trick... He proceeds to cast the spell, watching the dead Woods come to life again. Then he completes the job by casting a Nature's Cure and applying a Scroll of Protection from Fire for good measure. As Woods slowly regains his consciousness, Swordmage turns to the little rat skeleton on the floor. And you can stop playing dead now, Shortstuff... nobody believed that act, anyway. Swordmage smiles at the mage who had thrown the Lightning Bolts. Trying to kill Death with simple Lightning Bolts? You knew he is Death, didn't you? Sure, only the Death of Rats, but... Swordmage is interrupted by the protesting squeaks of the Grim Squeaker, who has risen from the floor again and tries to flash his scythe angrily and scribble one of his post-it notes simulataneously. Swordmage chuckles. It seems I have done what I came for... see you in other Terras, folks... _____________________________ Swordmage - Realm of Redemption S1 - Legion of the White Rose A1 *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 02, 2000 05:56 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Akabar Walks over to the wood and the rodent Why Do you hang with such filth if you don't want to get hurt? he then walks over to the now huge hole where the door wasand asks the to to leave and to take the remains of their friends with them. He then turns to the hole and extends his arms suddenly the hole disappears and is replaced by a larger door able to accomidate the size of the golem. Then he walks back to the other mages(magi) and sits down to continue their chat. ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** Woods, Crooner from Hell Veteran Posts: 251 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 02, 2000 06:29 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The atonal Ent slaps Swordmage on the back with a slightly charred branch in an entish display of gratitude. "Swordmage, I owe you one. In fact I owe you about four. In recognition of this debt I have decided to name my first four saplings (you call them children) after legendary members of the Legion of the White Rose. My first I will name Swordmage. My second, Kendricke. My third, Spartacus. And my final child, simply 'Honour'. How about that then?" Woods takes Swordmage's speechlessness to be a good sign and puffs out his trunk. The Legionnaire consoles himself with the knowledge that the chances of Woods finding a female tree willing to bear his saplings is virtually nil. He smiles nevertheless, shakes a frond and whistles for a pegasus. Ten minutes later he's a speck on the horizon. "Poor chap was quite overwhelmed!" remarks Woods to the Squeaker. "Still, it's not every day that one of the leading cabaret artistes on Terra decides to name his children after you." "SQUEAK!" "So what if I'm still a virgin!" replies Woods, irritably. "I've got another 400 years of life-expectancy, lumber-shortages willing. The law of averages dictates I must get lucky some time!" "SQUEAK! SQUEAK!" Woods give his friend Rattus Morticus a gentle kick and slouches off, following the unrodent's trajectory. "Sarcastic bastard..." mutters the charred chanteur as he muses on the scarcity of true love, the duplicity of rats and the bark-bustingly hilarious pomposity of poor Akabar. *********************************************************************** Gohan Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 02, 2000 07:38 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The barmaid gives gohan his martini. "who was he?" :: pointing at where swordmage left, and taking a sip of his martini :: "ahh, finally" [This message has been edited by Gohan (edited August 02, 2000).] *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 02, 2000 07:59 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Who knows but i don't like him if he is going to cause trouble. I have a feeling that I will have to contact Elminster(The Greatest Mage in all of Fearun, true this isn't Fearun but he is still one of the strongest) Akabar walks behind the bar and pulls out a crystal ball. He then waves his hands over the ball and starts sommuning Elminster. ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** Elminster Newbie Posts: 7 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 02, 2000 08:06 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Suddenly there is a cloud of smoke and a figure appears, He(Has a beard that's how you can tell) wearing a long red robe with the hood over his head and he is leaning on his staff. Who has call for me? He then sees Akabar with the Crystal Ball AH, Akabar my old friend what is new? *********************************************************************** Galandar Veteran Posts: 22 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 02, 2000 08:20 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A mage litteraly jumps through the door of the bar. His robes give away the fact that he is one of those pesky white mages. Looking around the room, he decides that a little ascendant magic is in order. He starts mumbling, then after a few moments, casts "Love and Peace" over the bar. Well, I hope that helps. The mage prepares a Dispel Magic, just in case that people go care-bear on him. Walking around a bit to find a place to sit, he finnaly sits down beside P51mus. He looks up at the large stone man beside him. Ah, this must be the stone golem I've been hearing about. Nice piece of work, P51mus. *********************************************************************** Elminster Newbie Posts: 7 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 02, 2000 09:15 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Elminster not being effected by such a low level spell Dispells the other and wlaks over to Galander Just because i appear tpo be an old man doesn't mean i can't do anything He then walks back over to his compainions Every thing is fine without the "love and peace" spells so please don't cast them. Mainly cause I don't like Care bears. ------------------ *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 02, 2000 09:17 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Drinks all around Akabar says trying to lighten the mood and stop any more soon to be fights. Let it go Elminster Akabar says as Elminster walks back over to the bar. ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** P51mus Veteran Posts: 860 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 02, 2000 03:56 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bob grunts P51mus turns to Galandar Actually I didn't make Bob a stone golem. The whole story is actually quite long and I forgot most of it. Quite a while ago, Bob annoyed a witch somehow (I forget how, I think he interrupted some curse of hers or something like that) and the witch decided to polymorph Bob. But the spell didn't work right. Instead of turning Bob into a frog, he turned into a stone golem instead. A few seconds after that, Bob was extremely annoyed himself at being polymorphed and immediately killed the witch. The bad thing is apparently only that witch who polymorphed Bob could turn him back, and she's been dead for quite a while now. Bob grunts again Bob says that being able to smash stuff easily is nice and all, but he misses being human. Me and Bob searched for a way to turn him back for a good several decades, but the search eventually just told us that Bob was cursed to stay a golem forever. Bob grunts Oh right, bartender! Bob wants your strongest drink! ------------------ -P51mus The Schizophrenic Mage Friend of Bob the stone golem Server 1:P51mus,The Knights of The Mist Ager Server 1:Slavik, The Brotherhood of Nod Blitz Server II: P51mus, The Order of Storms And isn't sanity really just a one trick pony anyway? I mean, all you get is one trick! Rational thinking. But when you're good and crazy, oooh!! The sky's the limit! -The Tick Fate is like a caged gorilla. It will pelt you with dung if you mock it. -Warriv (Diablo 2) *********************************************************************** Gohan Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 02, 2000 04:43 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What kind of stupid idiot pisses off a witch, no offense Bob. ::turns to Akabar:: Thanx for the drink offer but ive had enough. *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 03, 2000 05:20 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Goes behind the bar and pulls out 3 bottles of liquid, not of which are mared and he then starts pouring it into a glass. As the 3 liquids combine they start to sizzle and bubble. when he finishes he walks the drink over to Bob Careful, That's the strongest stuff that is allowed to be served anywhere and at that they won't serve it anywhere but here. Akabar then walks back over to the bar and sits down to watch as Bob drinks the deadly mixture. ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** P51mus Veteran Posts: 860 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 03, 2000 05:43 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Everyone watches as Bob drinks the noxious mixture After a sip of the drink.....nothing happens Then Bob drinks the rest of it in one large gulp Bob grunts Oh bartender, Bob says he liked the drink, but it wasn't strong enough for him. Bob grunts again No Bob, last time you had that drink you wondered off for about a month. You're not doing that again. ------------------ -P51mus The Schizophrenic Mage Friend of Bob the stone golem Server 1 P51mus The Knights of The Mist Ager Server 1 Slavik The Brotherhood of Nod Blitz Server II P51mus The Order of Storms And isn't sanity really just a one trick pony anyway? I mean, all you get is one trick! Rational thinking. But when you're good and crazy, oooh!! The sky's the limit! -The Tick Fate is like a caged gorilla. It will pelt you with dung if you mock it. -Warriv (Diablo 2) *********************************************************************** Lord Bane Newbie Posts: 15 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 03, 2000 08:36 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -After watching the mighty golem down the hissing mixture Bane wonders if he might be inclined to try some of that.- "Akabar, might I ask for a small class of that concotion? It has been a long while since I have had a descent drink, the taste of a good reisling is hard to find these days so I think I will try something else." Lord Bane *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 04, 2000 05:10 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You can try it but i don't think you can handle it. Akabar pulls out anouther glass and mixes the same drink that he did for Bob but he then pours it into a small shot glass. Bottoms up ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 04, 2000 06:58 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blue-cloaked mage strolls in through the door. Twirling his mustaches with one hand and carefully balancing a full brandy snifter in the other, he promptly seats himself at the bar and grins at Akabar. "Strongest Drink? My good fellow, that can't even approach Ol' Pec... Say, you're one of *those* people, aren't you? Well sir, let me warn you, the brewery doesn't care for copyright infringement." He leans forward conspiratorially to whisper in the bartender's ear. Akabar fights down his gag reflex as the first wave of the mage's breath hits him. Damn, this man's soused enough to be pickled-literally!, he thinks as he straightens. Meanwhile, the mage continues on, oblivious. "...most fearsome creatures in all of Terra. Peculiar Golems. Nasty things. The stuff of legend. Never go near them if you can help it." He sits up on his stool again. "I've had Mr. Satan's own time of hiding my own invention from them, which is much stronger than theirs, anyhow." The mage whirls and the snifter is abruptly thrust under Lord Bane's nose, who promptly passes out. "Peculiar Absolut!", the blue mage declares loudly. "Exactly like the original EXCEPT, for the signature rubbing alcohol aftertaste. That, and for some reason, a direct whiff doesn't kill within ten minutes. More like twenty-four hours, according to my tests." Looking very serious for a moment, he quickly brightens. "Lochaim!", he cries to the room, downs the entire drink in one gulp, slams down the glass, and orders a rum and coffee. ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Proud soldier of The Platinum Band, S1 Few dare challenge a knight of Capashen. Should one do so, there is one fewer. -unknown You can't lose-with BOOZE! -Milk and Cheese [This message has been edited by Ozymandias (edited August 04, 2000).] *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted August 04, 2000 07:05 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The conversation stops suddenly as a battalion of rats come marching in through the front door in formation. Magi, barmaid, and Bob alike watch in interest as they make a beeline for the prone form of Zool. After much scurrying and scampering, they completely encircle the eradication-savant. At one rat's signal, as one, they lift, heave him onto their backs, and march out the door again. *********************************************************************** Gohan Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 05, 2000 08:10 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::Looking puzzled:: "Huh??" ::Pointing where the rats came and left:: "Ok what just happened here?" *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 05, 2000 09:18 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ozymandias blinks a few times, looks at his snifter and decides, "Now THAT's good $#!t!" *********************************************************************** Lord Bane Newbie Posts: 15 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 06, 2000 02:49 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -Comming back 'round to the land of the living, Bane wonders what that awful concotion that got sucked up his nostrils was. Never the less he still tries Akabar's house special. With a quick tilt of his head Bane douwns the liquid, stares for a second, then runs out the door to be heard bringing forth last nights dinner. After a few minuets Bane walks back in the door with one word.- "Damn" Lord Bane *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 06, 2000 06:59 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "so how was it Lord Bane" glances at the man looking for a response ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** Lord Bane Newbie Posts: 15 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 07, 2000 03:05 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Well Akabar you want the whole truth? not too bad actually, you might try putting a little tabasco in next time though. All in all I will never touch that stuff again in my life. So can I just have a reisling instead?" -Bane gets handed his glass of wine which he proceeds to just stare at as the little shot starts to kick in and make Banes head start to spin.- *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 08, 2000 05:14 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks for the advice. ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 09, 2000 05:16 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Akabar sits behind the bar wondering why it got quiet all of a sudden. ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** asmodeus13 Veteran Posts: 99 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 09, 2000 02:00 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An orange cloaked figure with black horns protruding from underneath his hood strides in and walks to the center of the room. He then lets out a barely audible shriek that breaks every glass in the bar. "Happy?" ------------------ asmodeus13 Prime Minister of Vitriolic Emanations Dark Lords of Carnage and Chaos-App&B2 pimpslap Mack Daddy of Apocalypse Brotherhood of NOD-A1 Menace to Propriety *********************************************************************** Iuz the Old Veteran Posts: 1658 Registered: May 2000 posted August 10, 2000 01:35 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- All of the sudden, reanimated by the shriek, the Blue skinned Mobster stands up. Wow, what a strange dream, I dreamed someone named Richard actually sieged me once successfully...Geez, I do dream strange stuff... Taking a big gulp out of his, travel Ol'Peculiar, he looks at Asmodeus and says. You that battle loving maniac not? Tell me more, you know we have been refining the points of killing for ages, I have this.... Dragging the surprise Asmodeus to a table and totally ignoring the Innkeep, he seems to be very contend talking to the Dark Lord of Carnage and Chaos and drinking the stuff he brought... ------------------ Iuz - ÅoÅ Ager 1 Doom - tPB Server 1 Omniscient - THM Apprentice *** We shall come hard and fast into your underdeveloped, unexploited little world. Tearing away the soil beneath your feet where you stand. Scattering the broken gifts that offer up all around us. Digging the foundation of our own image, into the raw caught belly of the earth. Send spiraling monuments to our glorious achievements into the heavy laden sky. You will watch from the horizon, imprisoned by your own pleasures. Bound by the material chains we will supply. But in fact I am just Joats multi. *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 10, 2000 05:53 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- looks at the mess of glasses and looks at Elminster "And you said i was crazy to keep an extra set of Glasses in the back." ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** asmodeus13 Veteran Posts: 99 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 10, 2000 04:00 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- asmodeus eases into a chair next to Iuz, retrieving a small flask of rum and distilled imp venom (gives the rum a little bite), and takes a gulp. "Greetings, ancient one." " Events have been rather odd for me of late. I spent a brief sojourn in Hell, but have since returned more powerful than before, while simultaneously donning the mantle of leadership of the Dark Lords of Carnage and Chaos in the absence of Death2all. Being that I am a demon of corruption, this is not a comfortable spot for me. I much prefer to be a voice in the ear of the throne than to sit upon it. Yet, I feel a strong feeling of anticipation now that the time nears to reveal my presence once again." ------------------ asmodeus13 Prime Minister of Vitriolic Emanations Dark Lords of Carnage and Chaos-App&B2 pimpslap Mack Daddy of Apocalypse Brotherhood of NOD-A1 Menace to Propriety *********************************************************************** Gohan Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 10, 2000 06:50 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::Just recovering from the shriek gets up:: Another martini please ::As he gets up:: Look I just want to drink my drink in peace without having to buy another one, is that so wrong *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 11, 2000 05:15 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Don't worry about it." Akabar says handing the drink to him. "This one is also on the house" ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** Gohan Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 11, 2000 08:13 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks for the free drink Akabar i needed it ::sips his drink:: Think there may be more trouble comin around here? *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 14, 2000 05:08 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Who knoews" goes into the back room to check out some stock ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** Tolf Veteran Posts: 286 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 14, 2000 06:36 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A large human male enters the inn, wearing rags and cloths that are apparently burned. The scent of smoke fills the air. "Allright, who of you own that firedog?" he asks while wielding a stick which exactly looks like the one Demon told his hellhound to fetch. Not waiting for any answers, the human turns around and looks at the new door. "I could swear this door was much smaller last time. I always knocked my head on it. You know, I often knock my head on objects." There is no sense of joking in his voice. Without showing any interest in the mess or the weird creatures around him, the human strolls over to the bar. "I salute you. Me am Tolf. You got weissherbschtschorle?" *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 15, 2000 05:12 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Akabar steps out of the back room hearing the talk of the hell hound that nearly burnt down his bar. "We've got everything hold on." HReaches under the bar and pulls out the Drink(i think it's drink. He then hands it to Tolf. ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** Tolf Veteran Posts: 286 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 15, 2000 08:49 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tolf takes the wine and thankfully thanks Akabar. He starts to examie the drink, nips a bit, smells at it, and starts to look at it. After a while, he looks Akabar in the eyes and says, "Akabar? I forgot what we were doing..." He empties his glass and heads for the door. At the doorstep he turns around. "By the way, it was no weissherbschtschorle. It must have been something like trockenbeereauslese or rieslingburgunder. But never mind." *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted August 15, 2000 11:58 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thunder sounds in the distance. Some look up out of habit. Most patrons simply ignore it. Elminster nurses a splinter in his finger. ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** Elminster Newbie Posts: 7 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 16, 2000 05:25 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't speak for me Squeker. IP: Logged Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 16, 2000 06:27 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The doors burst open, releasing a sudden local windstorm which quickly dissipateted. Distant thunder boomed again, rustling some of the rubbish behind the bar. In the doorway stands Zool, surveying the scene. After a moment, he staggers in. He has obviously seen better days, but he heads to the bar with a purpose in his eyes. "Give me your best, Akabar!" shouts Zool. "Yeah, sure," says Akabar. He puts on the heavy gloves. "Is it me, or do you smell the smoky stench of burning human flesh?" whispered a nearby patron to his tablemate. His neighbor nodded affirmative, wrinkling his nose. Zool looked over and grinned widely, then watched the bartender prepare his drink. After Akabar finished mixing the noxious concoction, he handed it to Zool using the long handled tongs. Zool watched it sizzle for a second, then poured the top couple centimeters on the bar. It immediately burned through the bar, through the floor, through Terra, all the way to hell. "Put the repairs on my tab, said Zool at Akabars menacing look. Then Zool took some vials out of his pockets. He added a few drops of battery acid, a drip of Old Rasputin stout, a splash of Ol' Peculiar (out of respect to Shurak), and just a tich of molten lava, which he kept in a double insulated hip flask. "Puts the heat in the old force bolts," he explained. In a single gulp, he downed the mixture. He put the glass down, which now was half it's original height. Seconds ticked by, as the whole bar watched. Zool smacked his lips a couple times. He picked up the glass, looked at it, then held it up so the last couple drops dripped on his toung. He put the glass back down. Again seconds ticked by. "That does it!" shouted Zool suddenly. "You know, I've been thinking about it, and I don't think I like you. I feel saucy tonight. I think I'll pick a fight. "Akabar," said Zool, "That was the weakest excuse for an ultimate drink I've ever tasted." Zool grabbed a drink from the patron next to him and threw it in Akabars face. "And another thing. Your name is the same sound a spoiled lunch makes when it comes up!" The whole bar, including Elmnster, looked on, gasping at the force of the insult. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? You want to mess with a bard? Heh heh heh... *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted August 16, 2000 10:40 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Elminster gazed coolly at the raving loon, but said nothing. Gohan made a careful point of being very interested in his drink. Asmodeus suppressed an involuntary shudder. ...what the Hell was that? Iuz belched. Zool's hypersensistive to burning nose caught a faint whiff of...something scorched. Tolf simply looked bemused. Meanwhile, the storm seemed to rumble closer. ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** feath Veteran Posts: 404 Registered: May 2000 posted August 17, 2000 12:53 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- feath had slithered in unknowticed behind zool. after watching him down the most discusting concoction she had ever seen, she swallowed heavly, and nodded to the keep. "ill have what he had" she said, thumb pointing at zool, hopeing to defray the tention in the room. with a look that clearly stated he would send flowers to her funeral, the keep made his part of the drink. feath tapped zool politly on his liver. "if you would be so ... gracious?" with a simaler look that she had gotten from the keep, zool added his special ingredeants. feath watched the drink bubble noxiously for a moment, then taking a deep breath, she reached into her cleavage, and pulled out a heavy duty, lead lined glove. she put it on, and reached for the drink. she drank. she held her breath, and the room held it with her, in sympathy. with a "PAaaahhhh!" flame shot from her mouth, her eyes rolled back, and she fell over backwards, landing with a thud on the wooden floor. the only thing that saved her, was that she was a natural red. zool stepped over her prone body, and reached for the bar keeps robe, lifting him from the floor.... "now, as i was saying..." zool growled. *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 17, 2000 05:12 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- First of all don't speak for other people. Akabar looks at zool and suddenly raises his hands. With a shot Zool goes flying backwards out the still open door and lands hard hitting his head against the large boulder outside the door knocking him out cold. He then turns to feath aqnd points at her suddenly she is back on her feet and just as she was before she stupidly drank the deadly drink. "You ok Feath?" He then looks at Elminster. ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** Elminster Newbie Posts: 7 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 17, 2000 05:18 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Elminster seeing the look Akabar is giving him. "All right i'll finish him for you." Elminster then walks outside looks at the body and points at it. Suddenly a spike shoots out of the ground and goes right through Zools heart. Elminster then backs up and raises his other hand. suddenly fire shoots from his hands lighting Zools clothing, hair and flesh. After this Elminster walks back into the bar not even glancing back at the ashes where the body of zool once layed. "There you happy now. Get me an ale." ------------------ *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 17, 2000 07:03 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "What a fine mess you got yourself into Zool."*sigh*"I guess that I will have to Bring you back from the dead." Racouol pulled out a small vail and pored its contents onto Zools remains. Zools body instantly returned to normal and he started breathing. Racouol then looked into the bar. He then cast inferno then volcano eruption causing it to be destroyed and all the people, with the exeption of the Grim Squeker, to be instantly killed. Racouol quickly looked over the ruins of the place then walked off carrying a now uncontious but very alive Zool on his shoulder. ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets *********************************************************************** Shandril_99 Newbie Posts: 2 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 17, 2000 11:04 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Shandril walks over the ashes of the bar and her friends. "Akabar why do you always have this problem?" She then raises her hands and suddenly the bar and all it's occupants are returned the their pervious form. She then places a spell of protection around the bar to protect it from the evil magi of terra. "Elminster you can come back now the bad man is gone." ------------------ *********************************************************************** Elminster Newbie Posts: 7 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 17, 2000 11:08 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Thank you Lady Shandril I have taught you well. Even if it was 5 years ago." He Glances at the newlly refurbished bar "I've gotten weak in my old ago and my magic can't help any more." He offers his arm to Shandril who accepts it and walks him in. ------------------ *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 17, 2000 11:10 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Seeing Shandril walk in. "Thanks Shandril. Long time no see." He says as she walks over to the bar and sits down. "The same as always? ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** Tolf Veteran Posts: 286 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 17, 2000 12:09 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tolf enters again, not having realized that a whole lot of people died an gained rebirth in the mean time. "Hey everyone! I lost my purse here. It contains some million geld, so if you find it, please returm it to me. You will recognize the sweet little thing (in fact, it belonged to my grandmother, Ilse the Smashress of Thousands) easily, I wrote my name on it with one of these stupid phoenix feathers. This is so important!" As Tolf walks through the door, he is sure to return to this little place of harmony and kindness. *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 17, 2000 01:00 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zool starts to come around. Noticing movement, Racouol puts down his load on the ground. Zool lay in a heap. Barely conscious, Zool strains to move, finally succeding in waving his left hand. Racouol senses a red flash. "Uh oh!" he says, and starts running back to the Inn. The spell headed for the Inn, sure enough, but ran into the protection spell. It buzzed and flashed around the protective spell angrily, searching for any weakness to get at it's intended victim. Sensing the impediment, and still semiconscious, Zool managed to concentrate harder, and waved his right hand. A purple glow covered Zool. Racouol arrived in time to see the original fireball spell working on the protection spell around the Inn, and started to breath a sigh of releif, but then he stopped in his tracks at what he saw next. The entire Inn was suddenly lit with a purple fire, and then the inn started to move. It shook really, starting at one end all the way to the other, like a wave. It tore loose from it's foundations. Glass, roof tiles, and nearby shrubbery filled the air. Inside could be heard the surprised screams of the patrons. Then, the twin windows, one on each side of the front double doors, blinked. Racouol rubbed his eyes, thinking they were playing tricks on him. When he looked again, The center of the Inn was bowed up like a head, which swayed like a snake, supported on either side by the wings of the Inn on the sides of the bar, and the Inn was looking straight at him with it's windows. The front doors opened, and the Inn started spitting out the many patrons of the bar, who rolled on the ground unharmed with yelps and screams of surprise. *Ptooey* Then, out popped a purse onto the ground. "Where's Akabar?" asked Tolf. Just then the front doors popped open again, and out poked Akabar, his arms flailing. "Aaaaaarrrrghghg!!!" he screamed. Then he was pulled back in, and the doors snapped shut. Like a snakes toung in the mouth of the Inn of the Assassin Magi, he popped back out again to wave about, screaming, and then was sucked back in. Elmnster was nowhere to be seen. The building bagan to move toward the black market, shuffling on it's distended sides, intermittently poking out it's unwilling 'toung'. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 17, 2000 01:08 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This last post by Zool will not be used. I have told you multipule times DON"T SPEAK FOR OTHER CHARACTERS and trying to distroy my inn is not nice. If you revoke the post i will allow you to leave with out the death of your character or the death of your friends(not to drag you in Racouol but you keep reviveing him and he is causeing problems.) this is your final warning before i go to the Admin and get your account revoked. ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 17, 2000 01:27 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC: Actually I only revived zool once. And if you want to get technical Zool only died once, when elmenster killed him. If you go back to the begining of this thread I hit him with my frying pan sending him out speaking for other people, it is part of Role-playing. A good role-player would use the window. As for Zool and the others accept what the other people said they did and pick up from there. I am also sure that you can not get someone's account revoked for something like that. If he was constantly swearing then that would be another story. oh and FYI your inn was only destroyed once and by me. ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets *********************************************************************** OneMeanElf Veteran Posts: 423 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 17, 2000 01:31 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC: Akabar, you dork, you've got to be one of the worst active roleplayers I've yet seen on this board. RPing should be fun, not a pissing match between unimaginative characters that are really nothing more than fraile teenage male egos overcharged with testosterone. Quit trying to "win". And the Admins aren't gonna revoke any accounts, here. IC: A slender figure clad in a grey cloak and toting a violin case appears beside Zool. "Now, t Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Portrait of Zool Posted April 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2003 Elminster Newbie Posts: 7 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 17, 2000 01:38 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- and when you use a Famous characters Name Spell it right it's ELMINSTER. ------------------ *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 17, 2000 01:43 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC: Akabar, quit whining. Sometimes the thread does not go the way the creator wanted it to go. You are just going to have to deal with it. If that is unacceptible then do not start any threads. IC: Racouol looks in awe at this Inn like creature. Realizing it is about to head towards that black market Racouol pulls out two frying pans out of his pockets and starts charging the creature. *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 17, 2000 01:46 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC: Elminster, elmnster, stupid, whatever. I am sure in Zool's case it was a typo. Deal with it. ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets *********************************************************************** Elminster Newbie Posts: 7 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 17, 2000 01:52 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Suddenly Appearing out of thin air Elminster points at Zool and fires multipule Fire balls burning him to death and ending his spell on the Inn he then turns to Racouol and Fires Multipule Lighting bolts at him electifying him to death. "Now letss see you get revived." ------------------ *********************************************************************** Shandril_99 Newbie Posts: 2 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 17, 2000 01:54 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just to be sure that this didn't happen again Shandril places a Protection Spell around the Ashes to stop Resurection. ------------------ *********************************************************************** oODemosOo Newbie Posts: 16 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 17, 2000 02:35 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- With a sudden blink Demos materializes. Angry, he turns to Elminster and Shandril. Oh there you are! I've been searching for the two of you all over the place. The young mage searches through his red robe and pulls out a book of some kind. Now get back where you belong! He opens the book towards the two characters, who are now looking rather meek, and casts a quick, little spell. The Wind is rising. Screaming and kicking, Elminster and Shandril appears to be sucked into the book which Demos now has to hold open with both hands to remain in control. The whole thing lasts only a couple of seconds and afterwards the only person remaining of the three is young Demos holding a book in his heads. As neither Elminster nor Shandril are present to power their spells both Zool and Racouol returns to life as if nothing had happend. I guess our little friends have returned to their realm - preferably one which is easily forgotten. They didn't belong here anyway. Demos shows the crowd the book. Fire anyone? ------------------ Demos Keeper of the Inner Flame *********************************************************************** Tolf Veteran Posts: 286 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 17, 2000 02:41 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "What are you people? Idiots? You almost damaged my purse!" is to be heard by Tolf. Slowly drawing his two-handed sword, he looks out for the Mage responsible for this atrocity but he is not sure who to blame. All at once, the ground starts to shake and a the earth divides as a huge, ugly, woman-shaped creature rises from the dephts of hell. Tolf drops his sword, and says with fear in his voice "Grandma!" The undead spirit of Ilse, the Smashress of thousands, grandma of Tolf, makes an angry howl. Higher than the trees, magic energy flowing around her, she fixes her eyes (which she has a lot of!) at every being out there and starts to laugh. *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 17, 2000 07:04 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Looks at the diplay put on by demos and nods "I don't like you sending my friends back to Fearun. And my spells are not out of the ordinary." Akabar turns to demos, Zool and Racouol and raises his hands suddenly a large ball of blue fire starts to form in his hands. "Lets see how you like spellfire(for those who don't know spellfire is a type of fire which is stronger then any kind of magic around and is unable to be deflected.)" He then throws the ball which has grown to to over 10 feet in diameter at the trio. The ball strikes the three and kills them searing their flesh. As the bodys burn Akabar turns to the others. "Hows that for fire." Akabar then walks over to the undamaged book and opens it. Looking at the word he then waves his hand across the page and the book disappears in a cloud of smoke. As the skome clears Elminster and Shandril are Standing there as if it was just a sudden stop of time. He then glances over at Tolfs Grandmother and pulls out the purse. "Here's your purse Miss. I must appolagize for the delay but i had to deal with so mobsters and was unable to hand you the undamaged purse. i found it on the floor after Tolf left and hoped he would return so i could give it to him." Hands the purse to Tolf. ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** Tolf Veteran Posts: 286 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 17, 2000 07:42 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The monstrous granny puts her head on her shoulder, rolls with her eyes, and slowly crawls back into the pit. "Well thank you Akabar. She might be a monster, but after all, which grandmother can resist kind and cute behaviour." Some eyewitnesses wonder how to call someone kind and cute who just casted one of the most powerful spells in existance to spill the blood of his enemies... *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 17, 2000 08:30 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Unknown to Akabar, Racouol possessed a frying pan able to absorb all magic and magic like powers. Thus Racouol, Zool, and demos managed to escape from harm. Racouol then looked at Akabar, Elminster, and Shandril "I beleave this belongs to you." Racouol swung his Frying pan and the spellfire flew towards the three instantly incinerating them. Racouol then cast a gust wind spell causing thier ashed to be spread out all over terra. ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 17, 2000 10:29 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ozymandias hops down from the roof of the bar, bottle in hand. Draining the last of its contents, he looks at Racouol soberly (no jokes, please). He points at him with the empty bottle of Peculiar Absolut. "Tha' wus unnnessessary. You prove th' higher moral groun by frying HIM? C'mon, man." Waving his free hand, a glowering Akabar, Elminster, and Shandril appear in front of the inn. Racouol gives Ozy a dirty look. "Sorry, man. Had to take the liberty. Illusion'sre handy that way. And thankfully, they figured it out and kept quiet.", he says over his shoulder to the trio. "Thish's jus getting way out of han. NOW, I want all who're still drinkin' to go back in there with the prop, and NO more trouble. Don' make me kick-" THUD. Ozymandias hits the ground and begins snoring peacefully. ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Proud soldier of The Platinum Band, S1 Few dare challenge a knight of Capashen. Should one do so, there is one fewer. -unknown You can't lose-with BOOZE! -Milk and Cheese *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 17, 2000 11:18 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zool looked at Racouol. "Well, let's have a drink!" he said, clapping his hands together. As mentioned previously, everything was now back the way it was. All the mages were filing back into the Inn and taking their seats. They all gave their orders for drinks to Akabar. Soon, the Inn was abuzz with conversation and laughter again. Zool took a long drink from his tankard of Ol' Peculiar and set it down. "You know, I don't think Akabar was all that bad. Zool took another pull from his cup. Y'know, the more Ol' Peculiar I down, the better I like him!" Racouol gave Zool a sideways look. Zool took another gulp of OP. "Hmm. I have to do it!" Zool slammed down his tankard, which was empty. Saying a few words in a strange language, Zool put his hands together, then clapped them once. *Pop* Hearing an odd sound, Akabar looks on the bar in front of him, and sees a small white cardboard box, covered with a lid, and tied with a wide silver ribbon in a beautiful bow. "What's this?" he asks. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 18, 2000 05:53 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC:As i said before i hold no ill will toward anyone in the thread and i have no intention of closeing it. A want is to keep the flow moving and if others are speaking for people then the people who own or are useing the characters loose control, not to mention the elminination of characters also stops it(True i have kill charactors my self but in defence of the loved and famed Bar. I would also like to add to Zool and Racouol that i don't find anything you have said wrong i just find the fact that you used them on the character who not only started the bar but runs it and i also don't like how you aimed at me from the start with about 8 other characters in the area that could have been used, instead they used them on me limiting the playing area for the others(Actions towards others bring them into the RPing Game). I also would like to say in regards to the statment made by Ozymandias that i don't care about the violence in fact i incouraged it if you read back, My complaint is the speaking for other characters and yes i know your all sick of hearing it but if you feel you can't role play with out have control over others then why play,This just shows that you don't want the other players choosing what they do cause you don't want to deal with them so don't just go calling me on it. And i would finally like to thank Ozymandias for fixing the problem and restorting some order to a wacko scene. IC:Looks at the box Zool hands him. "What's this?" Looks at Elminster. ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 18, 2000 07:55 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Akabar opened the box. Inside was a slip of paper, which he took out and read. It said “One Free Ride.” His curiousity aroused, but a little confused, he looked back into the box. Down on the bottom was something sparkling. He looked closely at it, and it seemed to explode. There was a brilliant white flash. Akabar suddenly felt light headed. A gut wrenching hum rose in volume and pitch in his brain. As it rose, he felt incredible release, and then the sound stopped as Terra fell away unnoticed when his mind sprang from his body and rocketed up into the heavens. Trumpets sounded on the winds. Brilliant sun rays burst around towering billowed clouds in an ecstasy of colors and light. Heavenly choirs belted out “Halleluja’s” as Akabar rose to divinity. The universe was Akabar’s to survey, from beginning to end. Astral music sang harmony to the infinite sounds his ears could detect. Radiations fell like cool mist. Hurtling galactic formations blew like luminescent sand. Akabar looked, and saw his reflection in the cosmos. He was a wise and ancient being, with infinite power and understanding. Reaching out his hands he held that corner of the universe that held Terra. It seemed to expand for him as he focused on it, until Terra was before him, a bluish multicolored globe. Akabar scratched absently as Terra’s sun drifted through his beard. The sun god smiled. With infinite compassion, Akabar regarded the tiny sphere below him, grinning at the boisterous irrepressable spirit of all those people below. He thought deep thoughts encompassing the universe, and laughed out loud. Carefully selecting a spot on Terra, Akabar reached out with his arm. With long purposeful slowness, the finger of a god reached out to Terra, extending… closer… closer… closer… As he touched the peripheray of Terra a tiny blue spark leapt from his finger onto Terra. The god that was Akabar disappeared. ---------------------------------- The bystanders saw Akabar open the box, a white flash, and then Akabar was consumed in a thunderous crack of blue lightning that came out of the ceiling. The horrified Mages jumped back in surprise and alarm, but to their amazement Akabar and the Inn withstood the lightning without any damage. A mage ran up to the dazed looking Akabar. “Are you all right?” he asked. As far as Akabar could tell, he was completely the same. He looked over at Zool, but there was only an empty chair and an empty tankard at his table. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 18, 2000 08:45 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC: Thanks for the compliment Zool. Sorry if I havent posted much in the last month or so. Just needed to spend more time in the real world. IC: Racouol finished drinking his water and got up. "I really have to get going. I might be back." Racouol left. ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 18, 2000 12:20 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC:Thank you Zool that is all i wanted the apoligie that is. IC:"What was that?" not seeing Zool in his seat Akabar looked toward Racouol in question. "What was that?" ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS OOC:BTW THIS IS THE 3RD LONGEST TOPIC EVER IN THIS FORUM. *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 18, 2000 02:34 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zool came back from the restroom. Half in the motion of zipping his pants, he notices everyone starring at Akabar. "What did I miss?" he asks. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Akabar Veteran Posts: 36 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 18, 2000 04:33 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC:Because i am going on vaction i will not be able to reply to any posts and i am going to ask that my characters are left alone while i'm gone i will be back on 8/25/00 and will try to catch up. If i can find a computer i will reply but no promises. IC: "What was in the box Zool?" ------------------ "Mess with the best Die like the rest!" HACKERS *********************************************************************** feath Veteran Posts: 404 Registered: May 2000 posted August 18, 2000 06:29 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- feath blinked. she was standing at the bar. feath blinked. she was dead? feath blinked. she was standing at the bar. feath blinked. she was ash? feath blinked. she was rolling around outside the bar. feath blinked. she was standing at the bar. feath blinked. she rolled around inside the bar. feath blinked. she was standing at the bar. realling drunkenly, she weaved her way out the door, first running into the second door that was actually a wall... *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 18, 2000 11:50 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zool continued zipping up his pants. He had fourteen zippers, so it took a while. "Boy, do I feel better," he said absently, then turned to Akabar. "Do you like the little gift? It's a unique item, 'Ticket of One Free Ride'. Of course, you never really know what form your free ride will take - It's sort of a random thing. My second cousin's Aunt 'WildMage' Louise got a free ride to the seaport. It seems the Assassin she hitched a ride with swore they were somehow related." "Not likely, he was a real Loon." "I did hear of a rare case where the free ride turned tragic for a gentleman. Boy did he get taken for a ride. It cost him everything, his wife, his career, his castle..." Zool's voice trailed off as he seemed to forget where he was at. With a start he realized he was still talking to Akabar. "But I don't think you have a thing to worry about. Do you have any questions on how to use your gift? It's destroyed after one use, so don't open the box until you're ready to use it." ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 19, 2000 12:07 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Zool glanced at his wrist sundial* "I've got to go, I've got a cake in the oven," he said, and left. --------------------------- The night air was cool, the stars shone brightly in the clear sky. From out of the bushes skulked a figure wrapped in a simple black robe. His face was obscured by a pair of plastic glasses with bushy eyebrows and a fake plastic nose. Across his back in large white letters were the words "Assassin Magi". He tip-toed into the shadows at the back of the Inn of the Assassin Magi, and waited. After a moment, something moved in the night sky. One of the stars separated from the rest and began to descend. It grew into an oddly glowing disk shaped craft, wobbling toward the earth. Three telescopic feet came out of the craft, and it landed. A hatch opened on one side, and a three legged, three armed, three headed green being emerged and climbed down to the ground. He was carrying a box. The robed figure went out to meet it. The two beings greeted each other, gesticulating in some odd sign language. After a moment of wavings, clappings, slappings, bappings and hip smackings, the box was handed over. The black robed Mage opened the lid and inspected the contents; Fifty Spider Webs, the technological marvel of a web inside a small tube. The material of the tube and the web itself, always suggested an alien origin for this item. The black robed figure replaced the lid and gave the Aliens the newest 'Surfing Druids' CD. "Oooooooooh, Aaaaaaaaaah," said the three heads in unison. He also handed over one 'Ring of Animal Command'. For what dark purpose they wanted it, he didn't want to know. The Aliens got back into their craft and took off. The black robed Mage shouldered the box and headed for the Black Market. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 19, 2000 12:18 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Into the Inn skulked a figure wrapped in a simple black robe. His face was obscured by a pair of plastic glasses with bushy eyebrows and a fake plastic nose. Across his back in large white letters were the words "Assassin Magi". Behind him entered a group of 'ladies'. Scantily clad, and smelling like a french 'Inn', they undulated to the back of the bar on high heels while the black robed mage went to the front desk. The man at the front desk seemed to get upset at first, but the black robed mage handed him something, something that clinked and glinted brightly, making the clerk look both ways before handing the mage several keys. The mage headed up the stairs, followed by the 'ladies'. He gave each one a key, and stationed them up against the railing overlooking the bar. It must have been warm up there, because they took their coats off, and they didn't have much on underneath! The black robed mage went back downstairs and sat at a table at the bottom of the stairs. He began counting geld notes, waiting... ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 19, 2000 05:37 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Into the Inn walked a lean, tall, neatly dressed, hawk nosed man. His eyes panned the room without hesitation, taking everything in in one look without missing anything. When he was satisfied, he looked at the black robed mage. The assassin magi gave the tiniest smile and a barely perceptible nod. The hawk nosed man took a seat at a table near the back of the bar. Behind him had come in two hulking figures in black coats and hats, their hands in the pockets of their coats. They wore bored looks, but their eyes were constantly shifting from side to side scanning the room for any sign of trouble. They took seats at a table close to the table of the hawk nosed man. Tapping the table, drinks were instantly served, after a look from the front desk clerk. The hawknosed man took out a deck of playing cards. After shuffling them rapidly for a minute, he said, "Anyone interested inna game o' cahds?" ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 19, 2000 06:34 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Into the Inn walked an odd collection af characters. There was about a dozen of them, all dressed in red suits with barbed tails and a closefitting hood that had two short horns on top. Trailling behind them on a short rope was a young lamb. The lead character stopped at the bar and looked at the black robed mage. The black robed mage gave a thumbs-up. They proceeded to move to the stage area. They formed into a circle on the stage and began to chant. At some signal they all stopped. One character stepped forward, their appearent leader. "Oh Mr. Satan, leader of the nine hells, we beseech you to notice our insignificance this evening, and grant us the power you promised, in exchange for our souls and this sacrifice." The lead character then took out a sharpening steel and a large kitchen knife, which he began rubbing together rythmically. With a large demonic grin he said, "Bring him to me." "Baahaahaahaa!" bleated the cute fluffy lamb helplessly. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Gohan Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 19, 2000 08:24 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- wondering what just happened because he dazed out Gohan goes over to elminster What just happened here? I was dazed for a while. after elminster explains it all Gohan understands and decides to just relax with his drink Ok, i would like to finally get some action so if any one would be so kind... sending a fire ball into the roof *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 20, 2000 03:06 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The black robed mage motioned to one of the hulking figures seated at the table next to the hawk nosed man. The hulking figure got up and threw off his coat and hat. He was a water elemental! He quickly extinguished the fireball before it could start anything burning. The elemental then went over to Gohan and gave him a soggy pounding. "The boss don't like no boinin'" he said before putting his black coat and hat back on and retaking his seat. "Get that lamb!" shouted a man in a red suit brandishing a large kitchen knife, as him and about a dozen others ran after a cute fuzzy little lamb through the Inn. Tables and chairs flew as they chased their sacrifice-to-be through the bar. "Bahahaaaaa!" bleated the terrified lamb. "You're cheating!" shouted a mage at the hawk nosed man as he threw down his cards. Instantly the two hulking figures were on either side of him. The mage looked up - way up. "Uhh, nice game..." said the mage weakly. Another satisfied customer came down the stairs. The black robed mage chuckled as he counted more geld notes... ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 20, 2000 03:33 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Who do you suppose the 'Assassin Magi' really is? And isn't 'Magi' plural?" one mage whispered to another. "I dunno. But he sure bakes a nice cake," whispered the other mage as he munched on a slice of cake. On a table in front of the mages was a large Angelfood sheet cake, which the Assassin Magi had brought in. There was also a neat little pile of napkins, a bowl of punch with fruit floating in it, and a stack of delicate punch cups. Just then the lamb ran by, followed by a dozen devilish characters. The table went up in the air, throwing cake and punch all over the bystanding mages. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** asmodeus13 Veteran Posts: 99 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 20, 2000 06:48 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Watching the string of peculiar events, asmodeus13 sips his drink and begins cackling maniacally for no particular reason. ------------------ asmodeus13 Prime Minister of Vitriolic Emanations Dark Lords of Carnage and Chaos-App&B2 pimpslap Mack Daddy of Apocalypse Brotherhood of NOD-A1 Menace to Propriety *********************************************************************** Gohan Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 20, 2000 07:53 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Looks at the lamb and fries it with a lightning bolt along with half of the characters chasing the poor lamb There its over, now will some one turn that lamb into some pork chops please? *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 20, 2000 11:36 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Well, aren't we the violent one?", says Ozymandias quietly.* His hand strays nonchalantly toward his sword hilt. One of the newcomer's 'retainers' grunts threateningly as it spies the movement. Locking gazes with it, Ozymandias mouths Don't even try it. The brute subsides, somewhat grudgingly. The mage, oblivious to all but his card game, does not notice. Wiping his mouth carefully with his sleeve, Ozymandias pushes his chair away from his table, stands up, and walks over to Gohan. Gohan looks up to see what Terra's Boozehound wants. In response, Ozymandias simply smiles down on him, with astonishing speed draws not just one, but two longswords and cleaves the table in three. Gohan stares up at him in numb shock. "Just helping fill your random violence quota for the day. Have a full one." Turning sharply on his heel, Ozymandias deftly sheathes his swords, strides back to his own table, and sits back down to his wine. "Pork is PIG, you little git.", he grumbles. *Why is Ozy not still completely pissed? Well, he has the legendary unique permanent item 'Cast Iron Liver'. It has a g/m/p upkeep of 0, no charge turn, and processes any ingested chemicals with no ill effect, even given sufficient quantities to be lethal, or if it is outright poison. It also has a 90% resistance to fire, the lucky bastard.** **What all that means is that he never stays drunk, and drinking straight Ol' Peculiar will not kill him. Neither would drinking the normal alcohol equivalent of 15,000 gallons of Whiskey with a twist of lemon and a bottle of Tabasco sauce and a saltshaker strapped to a rabid wolverine thrown in for good measure. He just pees funny colors for weeks. ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Proud soldier of The Platinum Band, S1 Few dare challenge a knight of Capashen. Should one do so, there is one fewer. -unknown You can't lose-with BOOZE! -Milk and Cheese *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 21, 2000 04:36 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The black robed mage got up from his table and walked over to Ozymandias' table. One of the goons got up to accompany him but the mysterious mage waved him back in his seat. "I appreciate the way you handled that little trouble mister," said the black robed mage as he took a chair without asking. "Here at the Inn of the Assassin Magi we have our own way of dealling with trouble." The mage reached for his scabbard and drew out - a rubber chicken. Laying it on the table, he nodded to the barkeep. The barkeep came out with a wheeled cask made of black wood and delivered it to Ozymandias's table. "I understand you appreciate fine liqour. I would appreciate it if you would let me show you my appreciation by sharing with me the finest in the house in, err, appreciation." The barkeep tapped the keg and put a snifter under the tap. It came out very dark, and sloooowly. Heady alcohol fumes immediately filled the Inn. "I'm not ordinarily a 'Brandy' Mage, but it's hard to turn down the best of anything in Terra." There was a glass in front of each Mage. The black robed mage raised his. "To Terra." ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Gohan Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 21, 2000 07:39 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well exuse me mister 'I can cleave a table in three pieces really really fast' wonders why Ozymandias is so full of himself walks over to Ozy and looks at his glass of wine. Just show you i am not cocky or defensless .... Gohan pulls his twisted thin-as-paper-sharp dagger, and cleanly slices the glass of wine in half spilling most of the wine. See your not the only one whos fast sits back down at his new table away from the table that was cleaved into three pieces *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 22, 2000 05:50 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The black robed mage gets up and duct tapes Gohan to his chair. He then orders his two goons to lift the tied up gohan in his chair into a tank of special magic absorbing holy water, to negate any spells he or anyone else might cast to try to free him. He then encases the tank in a special magic reflecting armour, impervious to any enchantment or attack - melee, magic, holy, etc., making it impossible for anyone to break his prison. He then puts the special container in a stone pyramid out in the desert at the edge of town. As the mysterious mage sealed the tomb, he carved above the door an inscription that read; "Here lies Gohan, he who would have better spent his time making friends." The black robed mage then went back to the Inn. Getting Ozymandias a fresh glass and a clean table, he again raised his glass, and this time with an ironic smile said again, "To Terra!" ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 22, 2000 11:22 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Raising an eyebrow, Ozymandias toasts. "To Terra!" ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Proud soldier of The Platinum Band, S1 Few dare challenge a knight of Capashen. Should one do so, there is one fewer. -unknown You can't lose-with BOOZE! -Milk and Cheese *********************************************************************** peredhil31 Veteran Posts: 880 Registered: May 2000 posted August 23, 2000 07:58 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The evening passes. Neither Ozymandias nor the Black Robed Mage (BRM) are able to drink the other into submission, nor can either gain an advantage in witty repartee. Meanwhile, out at the edge of town, a plot device, -no strike that! I mean,- a random occurrence is about to occur. From deep within the bowels of war-torn Terra a river of magma shifts 1.23 centimeters. On the exact opposite side of the planet, nine moths, a butterfly and a retarded caterpillar (destined to die for not spinning sooner – but that is another tale) sneeze simultaneously. Through the perfectly natural mathematics of Chaos (with a bit of tunneling electron movement thrown in, no magic involved), the earth shivers deep and low. This small earthquake barely moves the glasses in the Inn of Assassin Magi, yet has profound results elsewhere. In the pyramidal tomb at the edge of town, a stone shifts and falls. It smacks the special armor precisely on its top, then crashes off to the side, the main thrust of its energy spent. The armor remains impervious, dispersing the force through itself, and shedding it into the stone floor, but the tank within shivers slightly and hairline cracks streak the surface. The anti-magical water seeps through and meets the magical impervious armor, creating a chain reaction that erodes the very bonds of matter, Strong force and Weak Forces fluctuating rapidly. The water swirls and boils, scours and erodes until it has eaten through the armor and burst in triumphant streams and geysers into the air. Like a newly deformed chicken from an egg, Gohan flops weakly down to the floor. The horrible forces that wrought his freedom have left him naked and hairless, with strange discoloration where he is not blistered or frost-bitten. Yet in the midst of his pain and torment, he can feel that some of the armor’s impervious nature has combined with the anti-magical nature of the armor and imbued him with their forces: he may not be pretty, but he’s pretty tough. As he passes from conscious to unconscious in an attempt to recoup his energies, a thought streaks like a meteor across his mind: “If the Innkeeper had paid protection to the Treant Hill Mob, would they have been able to prevent the BRM from his nefarious activities?” It is a grim thought that clings to his mind as the darkness sucks him down into oblivion. ------------------ Elrond Peredhil, 31 *********************************************************************** Gohan Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 23, 2000 07:15 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC: thanx pered for writing me out of that stupid tomb. I was going to write my own way out but i like that way because i like my little "shield". IC:After hours, hours, hours and hours Gohan finally wakes up. Realizing what just happened, Gohan gets some new clothes in town and heads back to the inn.the doors swing open leaving Gohan standing in the light of outside, the doors close. Gohan walks over to Zool. Why you little........ Gohan pulls out his dagger, in one hand is the dagger in the other a fireball. He throws the dagger and fireball in sync making a fire dagger go flying at Zool hitting him straight in the neck burning his body from the neck down killing him. Pointing at Ozy... YOUR NEXT! ------------------ "My heart is quiet. My heart is calm and pure. But make no mistake, it's pure evil"-Vegeta "I want you to hate your life, curse your fate, as I do." - Piccolo "What are you looking at, you boobs?" -Garlic Jr. "Words? I don't have any favorite words... I have a lot of favorite foods though!" -Gokou *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 23, 2000 08:48 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I knew your father, Son Gohan. Your father was a good a man. You, regrettably, are not your father." The air around Ozymandias shimmers ever so slightly. Roaring his rage, Gohan lets fly with a fireball. Incredibly, it impacts and splashes off of the Phantasm mage, doing him no visible harm. Drawing his swords once more, Ozymandias crosses them over his head. "He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day." And with that, shoots straight up, blasting through the ceiling like a cannonball. A small pile of ash lies where he was standing. The black robed mage takes in all the destruction and shakes his head. With a nod, his flunkies gather the poor, abused "My Size Zool" doll and trot it out of the bar. There is a SPLUNK as it lands in the sewer. "Some never learn..." But honestly, a Zool doll? ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Rotting corpse of The Platinum Band, S1 Few dare challenge a knight of Capashen. Should one do so, there is one fewer. -unknown You can't lose-with BOOZE! -Milk and Cheese *********************************************************************** feath Veteran Posts: 404 Registered: May 2000 posted August 23, 2000 10:25 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- feath comes trotting into the bar, holding a large lemon and vanilla sheet cake in her hand. "happy birthday, asmodeus13!" she carols, cheerfully. she tripped over a pile of ash on the floor. the cake arched, up, up, up, reaching its zinith, it turned lazely, and SMACKED down perfectly on feaths head. the splatter zone took out half the mages in the room. feath shreeked. asmodeus13 shreeked. gohan, reaching HIS zinith, fell back into the room, HIS splatter zone much larger than the cakes. there was a general, heart felt, Euwwwww, from the crowd. (sorry if i offended anyone by speaking (shreeking) for them.) *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted August 23, 2000 10:41 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gohan is very shortly followed by Ozymandias, then by Zool, then by Akabar, then by...Feath? And Iuz? And Elminster? And Asmodeus? And Tolf? And The Grim Squeaker? And Swordmage? And Racouol? And the black robed mage? After the pile of crushed 'bodies' has become quite considerable (and supremely messy), the Water Elemental, at a word from his master, moves in to inspect. "Dolls!" he cries. "More'a those damn dolls!! Where're they comin' from??" Now fully paranoid, he and the other coat-clad guard make a tight shield around the black-robed mage. A smell that only Zool's nose (since Feath's is full of cake) would catch through the aromas of the various brews wafts through the bar. But alas, Zool is not there... ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 24, 2000 12:01 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The black robed mage saw Gohan come in, much to his agitation. "Strange forces are at work," the mystery mage grumbled. Gohan was rather distracted by all the dolls, but attacked Ozymandias right away. He rose in a flash and attacked Gohan, but the intense fireball just bounced off. 'Must be residual magic resistance from his stay in the tank,' thought the black robed mage. But how could this be?! His prison was perfect. No force from inside, or outside could have defeated it. What was it that could defeat the undefeatable? Make possible the impossible? Impregnate the impregnable? 'Unless,' he suddenly thought to himself, 'nine moths, a butterfly, and a retarded caterpiller happened to...' The black robed mage's train of thought was interrupted as Ozymandias left by the most direct route. That was not a good sign. Gohan dispatched the black robed mages guards with a single swipe. He looked very upset. There was only one thing to do. Unfortunately the black robed mage didn't know what it was, so he slooooowly reached for his rubber chicken that he had put on the table earlier, all the while thinking positive thoughts like, 'Nice mage. Goooood mage. Yeah, you're a good mage, aren't ya boy? That's right, niiice mage...' The black robed mage grabbed his chicken. Standing and turning to face Gohan in one movement, he let him have the rubber chicken right in the face. *Thwap!* Dodging and parrying with his chicken, he made for the door, only to make a horrifying discovery. Stomping into the Inn were six large hairy knuckle dragging stone headed single eyebrowed can't afford shoes because they're size 47 burlap boxer preferanced neanderthals wearing white uniforms. "No!" the black robed mage exclaimed. "There he is! Get him!" screamed one of the neanderthals as he pointed at the black robed mage. The mystery mage reversed course, dove between Gohans legs, rolled, was back on his feet and kept running. The six neanderthals ran poor Gohan over in their haste to capture the black robed mage. "We're your friends!" they kept shouting, trying not to trip on the large butterfly net one of them carried. Gohan was again unhurt. The black robed mage had climbed up a pillar, just out of reach of the net. Any neanderthal that tried to climb the pillar met tremendous resistance from the rubber chicken. "Come on," said one of the neanderthals softly, "Give uncle Nandy the chicken." *Thwap!* "Ouch! All right guys, let's GET HIM!" Every neanderthal braced to assault in unison, when... "Dr. Hogginhymen!" All heads turned at the name of the world famous psychologist. Just coming in the door was a portly man in a gray suit and hat. He had an impeccably trimmed gray mustache and beard, and little wire rim spectacles. He appeared to be in a hurry. "Dr. Hogginhymen." "Dr. Hogginhymen." "Dr. Hogginhymen." "Dr. Hogginhymen." "Dr. ..." Everyone in the Inn, except anyone who has posted here, spoke the hallowed name in turn as he passed. "Goodnezz Graciouz, don't hurt ze poor fellow!" said Dr. Hogginhymen. "He over here!" said one of the neanderthals. "Yes, yes, I zee. I am zo glad I got here in time. I know dat you are ze good person, and dat zou want to get better. And we vill, because we bot have ze un-equivoc-wable belief in ze gootness of all... Great Ceaserz Weltanschauung! What iss zat?!" Dr.Hogginhymen pointed dramatically at what the black robed mage was carrying. "That's his rubber chicken, Dr. Hogginhymen." "Chicken? I hate chickenz! Ever since I vas a child I hate ze chicken! My Mother alwayz make me eat ze chicken! I Zink he iss a very zick man. Lock him up!" The neanderthals pounced. There was a whirl of arms and 'oofs', and when the dust settled there were six neanderthals standing on a VERY tied up black robed mage. Sticking out of the bundle that was the mystery mage was the head of a rubber chicken, and a pair of plastic glasses with bushy eyebrows and a fake nose. One of the neanderthals tied the black robed mage to the end of a pole. He then threw the pole onto his shoulder. The group then marched back out from whence they came, black robed bundle dangling, and Dr. Hogginhymen following, closing the door behind them. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** asmodeus13 Veteran Posts: 99 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 24, 2000 02:33 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- asmodeus13 opens his eyes and realizes that his horns were stuck in floor, holding him upright like a lawn dart. "Aaaawwww, Feath, you shoudn't have. Really. You think someone can give me a hand here?" ------------------ asmodeus13 Prime Minister of Vitriolic Emanations Dark Lords of Carnage and Chaos-App&B2 pimpslap Mack Daddy of Apocalypse Brotherhood of NOD-A1 Menace to Propriety *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 24, 2000 07:13 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A very rumpled Zool staggered into the Inn. "Sorry I missed all the fun. I've been trying to get away..." Zool helped Asmodeus disloge his horns from the floor, then slipped on some cake and fell flat on his back, knocking the wind out of him. "Gurgle..." ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** feath Veteran Posts: 404 Registered: May 2000 posted August 24, 2000 10:46 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- feath watched doc hogginhymen leave, a slight frown on her face...where had she seen that little gnome like face before? ahhh, then she remembered, long long ago, a small gnome like child, who wouldnt go to bed until it was searched. and why? because he feared the Evil Clucking Chicken. as an experiament, feath say "eeeEEwwCluck cluck cluck" dr hogginhymen swung around at the door, clutching his heart, his face paper white. he looked franticly around the bars floor. yes, it was defently little bobby hogginhymen. *********************************************************************** Tolf Veteran Posts: 286 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 24, 2000 01:15 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tolf had watched the curious scenes around him for a while, his mouth open. His below-average-sized brain tried to process all what happened here, and finally, everything seemed perfectly clear to him. "Wait! I have a gentle solution how we can get out of this chaos without anybody hurt!" Just as he was about to tell all the others, a peasant sneaked through the door, craweled to Tolf and calmly spoke to his master, "Greatest Tolf, I apologize for interupting, but terrible news from your beloved country - some mean mage cast Death and Decay on your land!" Tolf nodded, and with a "I'll explain it to you when I return!" on his lips, he ran out of the inn. *********************************************************************** asmodeus13 Veteran Posts: 99 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 24, 2000 02:42 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Helping Zool up from the floor, asmodeus13 can be heard muttering " a gentle solution to chaos without anyone getting hurt? I don't like the sound of that......." ------------------ asmodeus13 Prime Minister of Vitriolic Emanations Dark Lords of Carnage and Chaos-App&B2 pimpslap Mack Daddy of Apocalypse Brotherhood of NOD-A1 Menace to Propriety *********************************************************************** Tolf Veteran Posts: 286 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 24, 2000 03:08 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tolf is suddenly visible in the door. "I heard that!" Then he vanishes. *********************************************************************** Gohan Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 24, 2000 06:57 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i thought i killed you!! pointing at Zool. Starts another fireball in his hand... I SAID DIE!!!!!!! fires the fireball at Zool hitting him square in the chest. and take this! Throws his dagger and two broad swords at Zool. The dagger hit him in the neck and the two broad swords hit him in the chest impaling him on the wall Let that be a lesson *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted August 24, 2000 08:54 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gohan(#1234)'s 'blade and fury' killed Zool, Ager1 Eradication Mage The light itself seems to float away from the windows and wrap around Zool in a blanket of white haze. Then just as abruptly, it retreats to the windows and newly renovated skylight of the bar. Zool, hale and hearty, wakes with a grumble as multiple baldes clatter on the floor. Zool, Ager1 Eradication Mage, is resurrected from death. Gohan(#1234)'s attack was nothing more than a scratch. Unnoticed, a man at the bar smiles a little smile before turning back to his whiskey. ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 25, 2000 08:16 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zool stands. *Starts to feel a little dizzy from being killed and ressurected so many times* Zool sits down. Looking innocently at Gohan, he says, "What did I ever do to you?" ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Gohan Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 25, 2000 09:44 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If i remember you encased me in that STUPID "PRISON". That is why i look this way!! As he says this he points to all the blistered and frostbitten parts of his body. so i think i am mad, DONT YOU!? And will you people stop resurrecting him i want him to be dead! with that he pummels Zool with fireballs, fries him with a lightning bolt, and impales him on the wall with his long sword and crossbow. The person who resurrects him will be REALLY REALLY SORRY!!!!!!!! ------------------ "My heart is quiet. My heart is calm and pure. But make no mistake, it's pure evil"-Vegeta "I want you to hate your life, curse your fate, as I do." - Piccolo "What are you looking at, you boobs?" -Garlic Jr. "Words? I don't have any favorite words... I have a lot of favorite foods though!" -Gokou *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 26, 2000 09:12 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zool pulls a 'brooch of protection' and a 'scroll of protection from fire' out of his pockets. "Plenty more where they came from," he says. "Whew! I was worried you were going to kill me again, but you never said you did, and I have protection anyway." Zool brushed off the few remaining wisps of flame from his person before continuing. "You, sir, seem to have me confused with someone else. I understand that while I was gone, a 'black robed mage' was causing mayhem in the Inn. But as you can see, he is gone now. And I dare say, your skin will heal, but the toughness will remain. I think you will come out of this experience much the better mage." Saying these words, A glowing marquise saying "The Mage is Right!" with chasing border lights was suddenly raised behind Gohan. The Inn lights went down, and multiple spot lights arrowed in on Gohan, forcing him to squint and shade his eyes. A band struck up from nowhere, playing a jumpy tune. An unseen crowd began to cheer wildly. Gohan saw that he was now on a raised stage. Zool stepped forward into a spot light. He was dressed in a sharp red sequined jacket, black pants, and a million dollar smile. "Gohan, I want to Thank you for being a contestant on 'The Mage is right'. For being such a great sport tonight *cough* you have won the super Grand Prize Package!" The crowd cheered wildly. "Vanna, what wonderful prizes do we have for our big winner?" Vanna Ascendant stepped out from behind a curtain, looking dazzling as always. "Well Zool," she said, "We have three prizes for tonight's BIG winner, starting with -" *Drumroll* Vanna smiled and held up her arms as she said, "A brand new car!" The crowd went wild. *Out on the stage rolled a beat up '76 pinto, slowly smoking and chugging, until it came to a complete stop. Then it suddenly exploded into flames.* "Aren't you lucky!" said Zool, picking himself up off the floor as the Pinto was hastily pulled backstage. "What else do we have for this very lucky mage?" *Drumroll* Again, Vanna smiled and held up her arms as she said, "A brand new kitchen and bathroom!" The crowd went wild. *A giant curtain rolled up, revealling a delapidated old trailer with one wall sawed off, showing the kitchen and bath. On the toilet was Zool, who quickly hid behind his newspaper.* Isn't that wonderful!" said Zool from the stage again as the giant curtain rolled back down. "Our big winner just isn't going to know what to do with all these riches. Vanna, what is the last prize in our grand prize winner's package for this wonderful contestant?" *Drumroll* Vanna held up her arms and exclaimed, "Me!". She ran over to give Gohan a big hug, but on the way tripped on a stage wire. Her wig, teeth, mask, bosom, and a false leg all fell off, revealling a toothless old crone. She got up on her one good leg and began hopping to Gohan with open arms saying, " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Portrait of Zool Posted April 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2003 *********************************************************************** P51mus Veteran Posts: 860 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 27, 2000 01:55 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bob grunts Yeah, Gohan is starting to annoy me too. He's loud and obnoxious and since he got that spell resistance he thinks he's invulnerable Bob grunts again Hmm, you want to go teach the runt a lesson? By all means, go ahead. Bob gets up from his spot at the bar and stomps over to Gohan Gohan looks at the stone golem, and he (stupidly) laughs This makes Bob VERY angry, and it shows Bob picks Gohan up with one hand (a simple task for a golem), then takes Gohan outside, and proceeds to chop a tree down using Gohan as an axe Afterwards Bob drops the now-mangled body of Gohan to the ground and stomps back into the bar Bob grunts Yes, hopefully he's learned a lesson from this. ------------------ -P51mus The Schizophrenic Mage Friend of Bob the stone golem Warper of Reality Server 1 P51mus WHACK (ARS) suicide guild Ager Server 1 Slavik The Brotherhood of Nod Blitz Server II P51mus The Order of Storms And isn't sanity really just a one trick pony anyway? I mean, all you get is one trick! Rational thinking. But when you're good and crazy, oooh!! The sky's the limit! -The Tick Fate is like a caged gorilla. It will pelt you with dung if you mock it. -Warriv (Diablo 2) *********************************************************************** Tolf Veteran Posts: 286 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 27, 2000 04:25 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man wearing some uniform comes in and looks for the master of the golem. "Dear Sir, your pet has just damaged one of our precious apple trees. I do have the duty to charge you 100 geld for that, I'm sorry." The man walks over to P51mus and points his open hand to him. He seems very uneasy. "Well if the tree would have been strongened with Plant Growth, it would have been...150 geld... sir..." His hand is trembling. *********************************************************************** Dr. Evil Veteran Posts: 270 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 27, 2000 05:37 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man, half elf actually, meanders in. He is not at all concerned with the going ons about him. He plunks a silver edged scyth on the table in front of him, followed by a pair of longswords, a mace, a throwing axe, a shortsword, and seven daggers. Another tavern patron sits down. He is a short, pudgy gnome but all who see him can feel the violence radiating off of him like waves. Finally, a tall, hooded, robed mage sits down. He puts a strange looking crossbow down on the table. "Vedic and Verin, long time no see," remarks the mage. "You too, Herr Doktor," remarks the gnome. A burly Orc and his two Ogrillion buddies approach the table. "Hey, yous' gets outta here," snarls the orc. "Wes' don' like your face!" he shouts. The one the gnome, evidently Verin, called the Doctor, turns. "First of all, you cannot see my face in this darkness, even with Orcish ultravision. Second of all, you should walk away whilst you still can. Finally, I don't care what you think." The doctor turns back to his comrades. The orc seems confused by the big, multisyllabic words that were just flung at him, and we all know how well orcs like being confused. The orc screamed and flipped over the table, and threw a punch at the doctor. But the punch didn't land; namely because Vedic had removed the orcs arm in the two seconds the motion had taken. Evidently he still had a broadsword under his cape. The orc howled and threw a chair with his good arm; his buddies tried to attack Vedic. One went down on fire, the other in a bolt of lightning from the gnome and the doctor's strange looking crossbow. The orcs head flew through the air, landing as a Marth Stewart-esque centerpiece on another table. During this skirmish, the doctor's hood had come down, revealing a balding, fortyish man with baby blue eyes. To those who recognized him, they knew that Dr. Evil had shown up in the Inn of the Assasain Magi. ------------------ ---The Good Doctor ---Guildless Mage ---Gentlemen, this is the War Room! You can't fight in here! *********************************************************************** Dr. Evil Veteran Posts: 270 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 27, 2000 06:06 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The doctor turn and looks around. A stone golem is standing threatingly over some kinda tax collecter guy. A limp dead body drags itself upright. A band-waitaminute, that was Gohan! The doctor runs up to Gohan. "Are you allright?" he says, his voice dripping with concern. Gohan nods meekly. "Oh, good, now I can do this." The good doctor empties his semi automatic crossbow loaded with Lightning rounds into Gohans face. He slumps to the floor again without further arguement. ------------------ ---The Good Doctor ---Guildless Mage ---Gentlemen, this is the War Room! You can't fight in here! *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 27, 2000 09:41 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Racouol walks in just as he sees Dr. Evil fill Gohan's head with crossbow bolts. "Now that was quite unnessicary, I am sure that that Golem taught Gohan a lesson." Racouol then pulls out his frying pans to block any crossbow bolts that might come his way. "Sit down and let me buy you a drink. I am sure some fool will come by and ressurect that fool." ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets *********************************************************************** asmodeus13 Veteran Posts: 99 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 27, 2000 11:00 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- asmodeus13 begins to form his hands into an arcane gesture, resurrecting the lifeless body of Gohan. As he regains his senses, Gohan looks up to see asmodeus13's horned head above him. asmodeus13 then thrusts his hand into Gohan's chest and rips his still beating heart out, copious amounts of blood spurting out and creating a pool of slick blood with the supine body of Gohan at the center. asmodeus drops the heart on the floor and stomps on it, gristle exploding out from under his booted foot. Walking back to his seat, asmodeus13 catches the horrified looks he gets from some of the patrons. Shrugging, he announces, " just 'cuz." ------------------ asmodeus13 Prime Minister of Vitriolic Emanations Dark Lords of Carnage and Chaos-App&B2 pimpslap Mack Daddy of Apocalypse Brotherhood of NOD-A1 Menace to Propriety *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted August 28, 2000 08:17 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now, everyone in the bar can smell it. At first most write it off as Gohan. "Eeeeyuuuk. I've never been sure which smells worse. Burning hair or burning flesh." "Wench! Have any incense stocked? It stinks out here!!" "So THAT's what burnign rotten eggs smell like." "Ecch." (commented the nondescript NPCs who were none of them anyone who had already posted in this thread) Someone notices a thin trail of smoke wafting in through the window. "Um, fellas? I don't think it's loudmouth." Hesitantly, she gets up and goes to the window. "HOLY SH-" She is cut short by a crack of thunder much louder than the last, followed by the echo of a scream... ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 28, 2000 08:48 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Yeeooww!!" Screams a surprised Zool as he jumps in through the window. He runs around the room with his backside on fire. Finally he grabs a pitcher from a table and pours it over himself, extinguishing his butt. "Ouch" he says releivedly, exhaling smoke... "All right! Who's the wise guy?" ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 28, 2000 10:35 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The woman (who managed to duck under Zool just in time) peers cautiously out the window again. White as a sheet, she points out the window. "I think it was him." Magi, finally moved to ambulatory curiousity, begin to get up from their tables to see for themsleves. They are greeted with a gigantic column of black smoke billowing up from DarkMage's kingdom to the south. A bolt of lighting races up into the air, then all is still- Just before the explosion. BOOM A black light fills the sky, and when it fades, to the south, there is no longer a cloud of smoke. Columns of flame and smoke can be seen further, further away down the horizon. The mages at the window and who have elected to stay in their seats now realize that the undercurrent sound was not continual rumbles of thunder, but chittering and shrieking. From many throats. Far too many to begin to imagine counting. Patrons clap their hands over their ears as the maddening sound fills the air. The first to see, and the most eloquent to describe it is our original obsever. "f--k." ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Proud soldier of The Platinum Band, S1 Few dare challenge a knight of Capashen. Should one do so, there is one fewer. -unknown You can't lose-with BOOZE! -Milk and Cheese *********************************************************************** feath Veteran Posts: 404 Registered: May 2000 posted August 28, 2000 11:44 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the wind sprang up, hot and dry, the smell of sulfer strong. the chittering was slowly drowned out, first by the sigh, then the shreek of the wind. the dust kicked up, blocking out the fires to the south...and north... the door slammed open, hitting the wall so hard, the door fell apart. a blue mage struggled in, looking franticly around. he spied the ring on the floor, and snatched it up revealing the trap door it was attached to. he dove into the pit below, filled with mundain meat eating cornavores, and slamed the door closed, incasing himself inside. a tree flew by. the mages in the room looked back out the window...it seemed there was a huge mass out there, withering and moving slowly in the dust cloud. there were 4 rapid BOOMS as more lightening stuck in rapid sucsession. the walls shook. a house flew by. there was more plants in the air than in the ground, and the mages slowly backed away from the open window. feath, her wings held back in a hard dive, flew by, her face alight, as she body surfed the rising tide of air. very very faintly over the shreeking wind could be hear "WWWEeeeeeeeee" *********************************************************************** Tolf Veteran Posts: 286 Registered: Aug 2000 posted August 28, 2000 12:48 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The uniformed man who previously tried to make P51mus pay the fee for letting his golem chop down a valuable apple tree lay on the floor, hiding under some furniture. His heart was shaken with fear, on the one hand by all those tremendous brute forces around him, on the other hand by the idea that he and only he would have to make a list of ALL the damage around if he survived. *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 28, 2000 01:44 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zool panicked, screaming, "OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!" Then he run around in circles until a tremor knocked him off his feet. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** peredhil31 Veteran Posts: 880 Registered: May 2000 posted August 28, 2000 04:24 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- As Zool spun yapping like a dog with an itchy tail, the last sonic wave ripples through the earth. (At the end of town, Gohan's Tomb finishes collapsing.) In the abnormal silence, the maddening chittering and shrieking resumes...louder...closer. The Woman at the Window staggers a bit as she is drawn to her post. Curiosity had always been her downfa- "Eeeeekk!" She sprang backward and upward, landing perfectly on a chair. "Rats!" Mages looked out. Mages saw thousands of shrieking zombie rats. Skeleton rats. Zombie Squirrels and Skeleton Rodents of Unusual Size. All heading toward the Inn of the Assassan Magi, all with the horrible glow of Red Death in their eyes (or eyes sockets in skeletal cases). Nearly as one, those gathered turned and looked at... The Grim Squeaker? ------------------ Elrond Peredhil, 31 *********************************************************************** Gohan Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 28, 2000 08:38 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Without anyone noticing, Gohan's heart regenerates and slowly slides back into his lifeless body. after a few seconds Gohan breathes. Thank g-d for that regeneration spell Gohan gets up and looks at what is happening. Then he looks at Bob. Come here little Golem. I have a bone to pick with you a waterfall comes through the door washing away the zombies and skeletons and also the water sinks into Bob's stone body causing pain and erosion. It also carries away anyone unlucky enough to get caught in it. Hey Dr.Evil! that was not a nice thing you did. Pummels him with fireballs, fries him with a lightning bolt and then impales him on the wall with his long sword killing him. Then Gohan looks at asmodeus13. Hey asmodeus13! i may be mistaken but i think it is a bad thing to rip someones heart out, hmmm. lets find out Gohan pulls out his broad sword and sticks it in asmodeus's chest spearing his heart, and then pulls it back out as blood spurts out of asmodeus's body and it drops. Gohan looks at the heart. Throws it out the window, then fries it in midair with a lightning bolt. anyone else think they can kill me? ------------------ "My heart is quiet. My heart is calm and pure. But make no mistake, it's pure evil"-Vegeta "I want you to hate your life, curse your fate, as I do." - Piccolo "What are you looking at, you boobs?" -Garlic Jr. "Words? I don't have any favorite words... I have a lot of favorite foods though!" -Gokou *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted August 28, 2000 09:25 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- But he was only there for an instant. If he had ever truly been there at all... But other matters demanded closer attention. The legions of undead vermin sawrmed resolutlely forward, making a straight course, it seemed, for the Inn. There were thousands and thousands of them. But those still watching saw another sight that gave them further pause. As one gazed to the horizon, beyond the monstrous armies, all land to the south was simply not visible. That is not to say that it was invisible, no, nor gone, but simply covered for as far as peripheral vision and buildings could show, with a gray, undulating carpet. Rats! Very slowly, a tiny yellow square of paper fluttered to the bar. In a wind sprint that would've done the roadrunner proud, Zool charged the thing, and snatched it up. Going a little paler, he read aloud: _____________________________________________ Eat this, Akabar. Carpe Jugulum! Sincerely, TGS _____________________________________________ ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** asmodeus13 Veteran Posts: 99 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 29, 2000 01:14 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- asmodeus13 springs up in front of Gohan like a bolt of lightning and yells "BOO!", causing Gohan to yelp like a puppy does when you step on its tail. Dusting off his robe asmodeus explains, " I'm a Demon. What do I need a heart for?" ------------------ asmodeus13 Prime Minister of Vitriolic Emanations Dark Lords of Carnage and Chaos-App&B2 pimpslap Mack Daddy of Apocalypse Brotherhood of NOD-A1 Menace to Propriety *********************************************************************** Gohan Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 29, 2000 07:37 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC: Gohan DOES NOT "YELP"!!!!! IC:fine but even if you dont need a heart i think you need a head though. with one swipe of Gohans hand asmodeus's head was rolling on the floor as his headless body fell down. then Gohan puts his sharpend long sword back in its holster. there. now ive had my revenge. ------------------ "My heart is quiet. My heart is calm and pure. But make no mistake, it's pure evil"-Vegeta "I want you to hate your life, curse your fate, as I do." - Piccolo "What are you looking at, you boobs?" -Garlic Jr. "Words? I don't have any favorite words... I have a lot of favorite foods though!" -Gokou *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted August 29, 2000 08:59 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gohan(#1234)'s 'blade and fury' killed asmodeus13, Prime Minister of Vitriolic Emanations. The light itself seems to float away from the windows and wrap around Asmodeus in a blanket of white haze, just as for Zool before. Then just as abruptly, it again retreats to the windows and acts just like any othe rlight would. Asmodeus, hale and hearty, wakes with a colorful obscenity as he sits up in a pool of his own ichor. asmodeus13, Prime Minister of Vitriolic Emanations, is resurrected from death. Gohan(#1234)'s attack was nothing more than a scratch. One set of eyes among many being rolled at Gohan's antics goes totally unnoticed. A man at the bar takes a sizeably larger sip of his whiskey and looks speculatively at the windows. The chittering becomes nearly deafening. ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** asmodeus13 Veteran Posts: 99 Registered: Jun 2000 posted August 29, 2000 11:32 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Asmodeus13 rubs his neck, lamenting, " I hate when that happens......" ------------------ asmodeus13 Prime Minister of Vitriolic Emanations Dark Lords of Carnage and Chaos-App&B2 pimpslap Mack Daddy of Apocalypse Brotherhood of NOD-A1 Menace to Propriety *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 30, 2000 06:43 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Ok gohan you are getting rather annoying." Racouol said just as he got up from his seat. He cast many fireballs at Gohan until there was nothing left but ashes then he cast gust of wind to spread his ashes across the world making it impossible to regenerate or be ressurected. Racouol then goes back and has anouther glass of spring water. ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets *********************************************************************** Gohan Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Jul 2000 posted August 30, 2000 07:47 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Racoul thought that he spread Gohan's ashes but the fireballs never even scratched Gohan Racoul, that was not very nice. So take this. With that Gohan removes Racouls head like he did asmodeus. then Gohan turns around and looks at the Grim Squeaker. Can u not revive the people i kill? Thanx if you say yes, your dead if you say no. ------------------ "My heart is quiet. My heart is calm and pure. But make no mistake, it's pure evil"-Vegeta "I want you to hate your life, curse your fate, as I do." - Piccolo "What are you looking at, you boobs?" -Garlic Jr. "Words? I don't have any favorite words... I have a lot of favorite foods though!" -Gokou *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted August 30, 2000 08:50 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Poor sod. Lost is moind, e as. Talkin t'nothin!", is heard emanating quietly from the bar. The whiskey drinker puts down his glass and goes to the window. He stops, considers what he sees for a moment, then speaks. "Um, people, does the fact that you can't see the building next to us for all the rats in the way bother anyone else?" ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 30, 2000 08:58 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gohan(#1234) killed Racouol, Bearer of Deep Pockets. Just as the times before, all light streaming into the room floats away from the windows and the hole in the roof and wraps itself around Racouol in a blanket of white haze. And again, abruptly, it retreats to the windows and behaves normally. Racouol wakes, hale and hearty, and shoots an aggreived look at Gohan. Racouol, Bearer of Deep Pockets is resurrected from death. Gohan(#1234)'s attack was nothing more than a scratch. ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Proud soldier of The Platinum Band, S1 Few dare challenge a knight of Capashen. Should one do so, there is one fewer. -unknown You can't lose-with BOOZE! -Milk and Cheese *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted August 31, 2000 07:16 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Gohan is getting rather annoying. thinking he is a god and thus can not be defeated. Oh well." Racouol then cast a spell that causes Gohan to turn into a cow. He then probed everyones thoughts to make sure that he got the real Gohan. He then pulled out a rifle from his pockets and shot the cow(Gohan) in the head and dragged its body into the kitchen. Hours later Racouol comes out of the kitchen wearing an apron saying kiss the cook. Behind him many dishes full of steaks that were perfectly done. Anyone that went into the kitchen noticed that Racouol has incinerated the parts of the cow(Gohan) and where placed into an unbreakable jar with a unsealable lid. Racouol simply said "dinner is served." ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 31, 2000 08:12 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zool is first in line and loads his plate with porterhouse, spare ribs, prime rib, New Yorks, T-bones, sirloin, and a potato. He sits at a table with a taaaall glass of DARK beer and proceeds to feast like he has never feasted before. After eating he heads up to his room, showers and goes to bed. He reads Piers Anthony for a while, then falls into the most restful sleep, and dreams peaceful dreams all night. The next morning, he awakes refreshed, and goes into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. There is silence for several minutes. Suddenly a reverberation rocks the house as the door to the bathroom bows out, then slowly deflates back to it's original size. The toilet flushes several times. The water runs as Zool washes up. The door opens, spilling roiling green fumes that cover the ceilling and slowly dissipate. Zool walks out feeling great and says, "Aaaaaaaah." Of course, it didn't smell that bad when he ate it... Zool then goes downstairs and continues to panic at the onslaught of rats! ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Dr. Evil Veteran Posts: 270 Registered: Apr 2000 posted August 31, 2000 02:17 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Evil sits down and grabs a Gohan-Burger, on the house. He pulls a crossbow bolt out of his chest. "It's gonna take more than that, pretty boy," says the doctor as the gnome Verin sews the doc's head back on. "Ahhh, burgers," says he, blissfully unaware. Suddenly, Charles Heston rushes in. "It's Gohan! Gohan-Burgers are Gohan!" The doctor turns and considers Chuck. "Well, it's very good." He begins to laugh and takes a biiiiiiiig bite. ------------------ ---The Good Doctor ---Guildless Mage ---Gentlemen, this is the War Room! You can't fight in here! *********************************************************************** feath Veteran Posts: 404 Registered: May 2000 posted September 01, 2000 10:08 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- feath comes trotting into the room. "did someone say FREE FOOD??!" she grabs a plate, and heads for the ribs. "i love ribs," she said. "even if they do get stuck between your teeth" *********************************************************************** Jagged Veteran Posts: 144 Registered: Aug 2000 posted September 02, 2000 10:41 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jagged walks into the room, slips, slides and almost falls down,(from all the blood on the floor) except he grabs a table that is laying on its side. [ what has happened to this place? really seems to be going down hill latley] Looks over seeing many mages stuffing their faces with what looks like fresh cooked meat. This placed has been ransacked, pitty though. Used to be such a nice place, anyway walks over to bar, grabs a whiskey and then heads over to get a steak. UUmmmm thats good beef, who's the cook? give my complements. Corn fed? ------------------ So far gone don't know when I'll be back. *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted September 02, 2000 08:17 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When the door opened and Jagged strolled in, all who looked saw rats as far as the eye could see. Starting from the door. And then the newcomer shut the door behind him, oddly unpreturbed by the sea of rats he had just entered through. Odder still, they seem to have left him unmolested. In fact, on closer inspection, while the surrounding town is no longer visible for the rats, and they are even crawling up and down the sides of the Inn, they have not yet made an aggresive move. Almost as if they lay in wait. The whiskey drinking patron at the bar looks longingly at the hole in the ceiling. ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** Zeddicus Veteran Posts: 46 Registered: Sep 2000 posted September 03, 2000 08:20 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man walks into the bar. His cowl is pulled way up to cover most of his face. He surveys the room then heads for the corner of the bar and to sit down. As he walks some of the patrons see him disapear and reapear all with in steps. Then they realize that it is just his cloak changing colors with the background. The man sits at the bar and look at the bartender. He then orders some water. The tender brings him the water then runs off to another patron. The man then looks around the room again and shrugs. Finally he reaches down and pets the rat by his right foot. *********************************************************************** asmodeus13 Veteran Posts: 99 Registered: Jun 2000 posted September 03, 2000 07:44 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- asmodeus13 eyes the two newcomers before wondering aloud " Anyone else noticed that the gargantuan horde of rats outside has no problems letting people in? I wonder what will happen when someone tries to leave....." Curiosity overwhelming him, asmodeus grabs a random patron and chucks them out the door into the gray tide of vermin, awaiting a response. ------------------ asmodeus13 Prime Minister of Vitriolic Emanations Dark Lords of Carnage and Chaos-App&B2 pimpslap Mack Daddy of Apocalypse Brotherhood of NOD-A1 Menace to Propriety *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted September 03, 2000 08:05 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Racouol lets out a yell as he is thrown out of the Inn. Seconds later Racouol yells again as he is thrown back into the inn. That is until his face hits the bar stool. "Ouch that hurt." He then looked around at all the rats and slowly said. "I think that we might be in trouble. Maybe I have something in my pockets that can get rid of all these rats." Racouol starts digging into his right pocket. "Hmmm" pulls out a skeleton of a cat, "well that wont work." pulls out some rat poison, "no, no, too many rats." *snap* "Ouch!!!" pulls out his hand to see that it is stuck in a mouse trap. "That will not work either." Pulls out a cookbook titled How To Serve Rat, "Hmm, Could come in handy later." Racouol continues to pull random stuff out of his pockets and tosses it them to the side creating an evergrowing pile of junk. ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets *********************************************************************** Zeddicus Veteran Posts: 46 Registered: Sep 2000 posted September 04, 2000 03:35 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zeddicus looks at Racouol and his pile. Then shrugs and says, "Good sir, if you don't mind some advice why don't you just pull out some pipes and ask around for a bard?" He then shrugs again and goes back to his drink. ------------------ Bearer of the mirrorshrowd. Master of the scimitar. Protector of Nature. "I am that thing that flits by the corner of your eye, I am that feeling you get when you know you are being watched. Ah, but beware I'm really there and watching." *********************************************************************** Jagged Veteran Posts: 144 Registered: Aug 2000 posted September 05, 2000 12:47 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jagged looking around and studying all the people in the Inn, (even sqeaker, hesitating) Takes a drink of his whiskey, only getting it inches from his nose, does he realise that it has a rat floating in it. When he sets down the glass, removes the rat and beheads it with his 2 foot broken and rusty sword. It is then that all of the rats make their move. Engulfing everything in the room, climbing upon peoples legs on their backs. Everyone seems to go berzerk, especially the BERZERKERS. Only a couple of people in the corner are left untouched by the pesks that are trying to bite and scratch everything around them. Seems like we are in need of pset control around here!!!! Jagged trying to cover as much of himself with his cloak, swinging his sword at everything else. ------------------ So far gone don't know when I'll be back. *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted September 06, 2000 11:51 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rats come streaming in through the windows like a mudslide. The vermin entering the front door are so much gray, hairy floodwater. Rats come dropping down from the celing, come up through the floor... They set to flesh with a will. The newcomer with the rusted sword is very rapidly covered head to foot in rats. He swings wildly now, with reckless abandon, but succeed as he might in disembowling the squirming mass crashing across the floor, the rats covering him have no such problems. His new fur coat begins to run with blood that is not theirs. Jagged adds his own shrieks of pain and frustration to the growing cacophany. ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted September 07, 2000 07:23 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zool conjures a chainmail suit and gloves, with steel boots and a steel helm. Wading through the living flood he heads for the center of the Inn. There he conjures a ladder and begins climbing to the hole in the roof. "Everyone jump into Racouol's pockets!" he calls out. "I'm going to go for help!" ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Dr. Evil Veteran Posts: 270 Registered: Apr 2000 posted September 07, 2000 06:35 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vedic, Verin, and Dr. Evil fight furiously in the corner. "Everyone!" shouts the doctor. "Tuck your pants into your socks!" ------------------ ---The Good Doctor ---Guildless Mage ---Gentlemen, this is the War Room! You can't fight in here! *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted September 07, 2000 08:21 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hand over hand, feet fairly launching him lengths up the ladder, Zool moves as though he were born to climb. Poking his head out the hole, however, he sees no slate around him. Simply rats, covering the entire roof. As one, they surge forward at the hole. Meanwhile, despite those who could hear following Dr. Evil's warning, rats bite and gnaw at achilles tendons, stubbornly attacking exposed and leather-clad flesh. More and more people are swarmed under. Ankles, knees, thighs, biceps, and throats seem to be targeted. One desparate eradication mage casts disintegrate, succesfully slaying every rat on him, only to nearly immediately be pulled to the floor again. Mirage monsters and capsule monsters soon sprout up. While attacks of rodent after rodent fail against them, they too make little headway on their opponents, the sheer weight of numbers bogging them down. ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** Zeddicus Veteran Posts: 46 Registered: Sep 2000 posted September 08, 2000 12:29 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zeddicus wraps the mirrorshrowd around himself a little tighter. He then steps back against the wall and disapears. *chuckling* He draws his scimitars and thinks to himself, (Oh, what fun this could be!). *shrugs* then moves down the wall unmolested by the rats. *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted September 08, 2000 08:37 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zool falls off of the ladder as the onslaught of rats hits him and flow over and past him into the hole. He is caught in a torrent of rats, lands on a pile of rats, and is quickly buried in rats as they flow through the hole after him like water down a drain. Zool struggles under the thousands of squirming bodies all around him. While safe from their bites and scratches in his chain mail, it is getting increasingly difficult to breath... Zool casts 'Flame Shield' in a brilliant flash. There is a tremendous roar of light and flame around Zool as the spell works. Zool lay stunned in the middle of the floor, having been so close to the focal point of the spells wrath. The smoking, hairless rats piled against the walls slowly regain their senses and look at him with blood in their eyes... ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Jagged Veteran Posts: 144 Registered: Aug 2000 posted September 08, 2000 10:49 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate Rats!!!!!!!!!! swinging wildly with his broken and rusty sword, clipping rats that seem to be falling from the rafters,, using his other hand to bite rats into with his teeth. jagged thinks to himself( I knew this place was going down the guter but I never dreamed the gutter was coming up to it.) Holy Smoke, I'm not sure what is getting worse the filthy stinch off these rats with hair, or the smell of those that just had it all burnt off!!!!!!! Casting a spell of Call Hurricane, suddenly the whole Inn starts to shake and creek loudly, the doors blow in hard against the walls, all of the windows ( the ones left anyway) explode inside. A loud HOWL comes up closer and closer. Creating a slight suction, only getting stronger as the HOWL becomes closer and ever so LOUDER........ ------------------ So far gone don't know when I'll be back. *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted September 08, 2000 12:00 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- As the winds grow more and more powerful, impossibly, the number of rats pouring in the door, windows, ceiling, and through the floor seems to more than double. The flow still shows no signs of stopping. Mages are now knee-deep in rats. Zedd moves even more quietly now, carefully as possible as he wades through the rats covering the floor, painstakingly moving only where they are most frenzied so as not to be noticed. Until one rat darts right underneath his foot and dies with a squeak and squish. Slipping on the now slick, gooey flesh, Zedd tumbles forward and the sudden movement alerts the rats who begin to swarm up this new, hard to see intruder. ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** Dr. Evil Veteran Posts: 270 Registered: Apr 2000 posted September 08, 2000 03:24 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Relax," says the doctor. "I saw something like this on TV once." ~What's a TV? Shush! "Ahhhhhh. . . .(theme music up)Dr. Evil, Digivolve toooooo. . .Heinously Bad Mon!" Zool takes time out from fighting rats to stare at the doctor. "You're being an idiot." Dr. Evil decides to take a better approach. ------------------ ---The Good Doctor ---Guildless Mage ---Gentlemen, this is the War Room! You can't fight in here! *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted September 08, 2000 03:42 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Zeddicus Veteran Posts: 46 Registered: Sep 2000 posted September 09, 2000 12:56 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- While Dr.Evil is singing his song...Zeddicus picks himself up off the floor and shakes off the rats. He then thinks to himself (that was pretty easy to shake those rats off, but what was different?) He then turns back to the rest of the patrons and realizes that the rats for the instant that Dr. Evil was singing had their attention on him. Just as he thinks he has an idea the rats come charging back at him. "So much for stealth!" *Laughing excitedly* Zeddicus casts Protection From Evil and launches himself at the horde of rats. As there is a pause in the foray of rats Zeddicus recalls his comment to Racouol. Then like always with rats they were back. Zeddicus was hard pressed like many of the other patrons. ------------------ Bearer of the mirrorshrowd. Master of the scimitar. Protector of Nature. "I am that thing that flits by the corner of your eye, I am that feeling you get when you know you are being watched. Ah, but beware I'm really there and watching." *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted September 09, 2000 06:53 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Everyone is up to their knees in a stinking, gnawing, squeaking, mass of rats. Some of the unluckier mages are being pulled down, and falling quiet. Others continue to struggle, screaming in agony as the flesh is stripped from their bones. In one corner a freshly cleaned skeletal arm momentarily flops out of the writhing mass, then disappears again. Toward the center of the inn a mound of rats bubbles up, then lifts to a peak. The squirming mass sprouts two thick, stubby protrusins for arms just below it's bulbous top. The 'rodent golem' staggers and weaves several steps before saying in a muffled voice, "Krakow! Do you want things to get BAD?! DON'T let Racouol sing!" ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted September 09, 2000 10:31 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Racouol hears this comment and turns around to this "rat golem" and said " My singing isn't that bad. I know I can at least sing better than I can swim. Want to hear?" Racouol then waded to on of the tables and got on it. He then started brushing the rats off of him. He then cleared his voice and started singing. All at once both rat and mage stop fighting each other and started rolling around in pain. Windows started shattering and heads of both mages and rats started exploding. All of a sudden every one could hear Mr Satan's voice crying "Make it stop!" ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets *********************************************************************** Zeddicus Veteran Posts: 46 Registered: Sep 2000 posted September 10, 2000 01:47 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After pluging his ears with bees' wax, Zeddicus runs around and conjures wax for all of the other patrons and bids them to put it in their ears. (except for Racouol cause he does not need it) "Racouol keep singing! Now every one kill the rats!" Zeddicus wraps the mirrorshrowd around himself and fleets about killing the rats with his deadly scimitars. As his death blades whril around dealing out punishment, the rats are running around in blind panic. They can't seem to understand how death can come from such an awful sound. Shruging Zeddicus keeps dealing death to the horde of rats around the inn. ------------------ Bearer of the mirrorshrowd. Master of the scimitar. Protector of Nature. "I am that thing that flits by the corner of your eye, I am that feeling you get when you know you are being watched. Ah, but beware I'm really there and watching." *********************************************************************** Dr. Evil Veteran Posts: 270 Registered: Apr 2000 posted September 10, 2000 06:23 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Evil--no, Heinously Bad Mon--calls out his attack and STRIKES! "Mega thunder fire missle blast of doom punch!" Nothing happens. "Whoops, lets try again." "Ultra thunder punch of sonic firey doom death blast of the dragon ray!!!" Again, nothing happens. "Dammit, these attack names are hard to merorize." Dr. Evil figures, 'screw it' and grabs a sword from a dead mage. ------------------ ---The Good Doctor ---Guildless Mage ---Gentlemen, this is the War Room! You can't fight in here! *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted September 10, 2000 10:56 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The flow of rats...stops. The racket from outside is unmistakably still there, but no more rats enter the bar. ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** Jagged Veteran Posts: 144 Registered: Aug 2000 posted September 12, 2000 09:59 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *dragging himself up from the floor, bleeding from the hundreds of bites* Jagged thinks about just running out the door, just to get away from all of this maddness. But hesitates since there still seems to be a Hurricane going on out side, from the sound of it. *Now let me see if I can dispell this..... Concentrating very hard............................................................................ ...................... Nothing, Hum lets try again........................................................................... .................Nothing, Oh well I guess I forgot how..I didn't really want to go anyway... Hey anybody see a mop?? taking a drink of something, that was sitting on the bar.... Oh and sombody might want to fix the hole in the roof I think its fixin to start raining... ------------------ So far gone don't know when I'll be back. *********************************************************************** feath Veteran Posts: 404 Registered: May 2000 posted September 12, 2000 08:24 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the wind dies down out side, and the mages in the room hold their breath in expectancy. the door opens, casually, and feath steps in the room. her hair and dress are emaculate. she looks at the tattered remains of the mages in the bar. "what happened to you?" she asked, innocently. "rats!" said a mage in the back of the room. his tone of voice indicating his revultion. "oh," said feath. "i had noticed quite a few of em out there!" she weaved her way thru the litter on the floor, and picking up a glass, dumped the rodent body from it, then poured herself a brew. "i took care of that little problem." there was a general question of 'huh?' from the gathering. feath waived a hand, and the back wall became transparent. the hord of rats could be seen running desperatly into the sun set...towards... a giant wheel of cheese, it stood as high as a mountain, glissining in the setting sun. "swiss, of course," feath said, "every rats dream come true!" feath sipped her brew, and looked at the recovering mages. *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted September 13, 2000 12:53 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- As one, every mage (mage, that is. Bob doesn't qualify, so no consistency questions there. No sir) pales a little. Feath looks at them crossly as they all stare fixedly past her. "What? It's cheese. Surely even you lot've seen CHEESE before..." After a moment's careful consideration, Feath turns. She sees rats already covering the landscape from the cheese on the horizon, to the front door. The rats, having remembered that they ARE omnivores are now feeling very put out at having been tricked to a giant cheese wheel, away from all that lovely grain and meat. Cheese? They are not bloody well mice, thank you very much. The titanic swarm once again rushes through every available opening in the inn, going for the vitals much more easily this time as they use their fallen comrades that (most) mages wade hip deep through as a conveinient stairway. The battle is joined. WARNING!The global epidemic The Black Plague is spreading somewhere nearby... ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** Jagged Veteran Posts: 144 Registered: Aug 2000 posted September 13, 2000 03:39 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man, what is up with these rats???? how come they won't leave?? What is their want?? Why do I keep asking stupid questions? Who is that pretty thing that just walked in? And how come every time that I go to get a drink theres a rat in it??? Where's the D-Con when u need it?? Well back to swinging this dam rusty sword again.. ------------------ So far gone don't know when I'll be back. *********************************************************************** P51mus Veteran Posts: 860 Registered: Jun 2000 posted September 13, 2000 03:57 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- P51mus seems to look rather healthy considering the entire ordeal everyone's been through You know, this is getting to be rather annoying. Bob nods his head in agreement So, Bob, what should we do about it? Bob grunts No, that would kill everyone else as well as the rats Bob grunts again No, that wouldn't do anything of use at all. Bob grunts again Well, ok, if you really want to Bob. Bob stomps over to the kegs of beer, and proceeds to drink 5 of them within 10 seconds (a new record!) Then P51mus creates a small fireball and hurls it at Bob's mouth Bob swallows the fireball, and turns towards the rats Bob releases a huge belch of flame, roasting all the rats in the area (and leaving the patrons of the bar a little scorched as well, though they are alive) P51mus turns to Bob You wanted to do that just so you could have an excuse to drink the beer, didn't you? ------------------ -P51mus The Schizophrenic Mage Friend of Bob the stone golem Warper of Reality Server 1 P51mus WHACK (ARS) suicide guild Ager Server 1 Slavik The Brotherhood of Nod Blitz Server II P51mus The Order of Storms And isn't sanity really just a one trick pony anyway? I mean, all you get is one trick! Rational thinking. But when you're good and crazy, oooh!! The sky's the limit! -The Tick Fate is like a caged gorilla. It will pelt you with dung if you mock it. -Warriv (Diablo 2) *********************************************************************** Zeddicus Veteran Posts: 46 Registered: Sep 2000 posted September 13, 2000 04:55 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Luckily Zeddicus was over by the door somewhere when Bob belched. But he feels sorry for the patrons at the bar. Now that the bar smells like burnt leather and singed hair, Zeddicus shrugs and continues to work his way around the inn to find a place not so crowded by rats. As he moves he dispatches whatever rats are left alive after Bob's explosive belch. ------------------ Bearer of the mirrorshrowd. Master of the scimitar. Protector of Nature. "I am that thing that flits by the corner of your eye, I am that feeling you get when you know you are being watched. Ah, but beware I'm really there and watching." *********************************************************************** Dr. Evil Veteran Posts: 270 Registered: Apr 2000 posted September 13, 2000 06:02 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Evil is heard still muttering the name of his attack. "Frost of the dragon sonic ray punch of painful death. . .no, that isn't it, how about. . .Sword of vorpal thunder fire death plague punch of kicking, screaming, nasty icy doom. . ." passerbys ignore him until he leaps up on a table and shouts, "Sonic ray blast of evil cannon of ultra nova ice chain fire dark thunder electric fire kick of doom!!!" A huge ray emits from his hands, instantly disentagrating anyone it comes in contact with and blasting a huge hole in the wall. The bar patrons look out the hole to see it continue, chewing through mountains, trees, houses, and Alf. "Whoops," says doc. ------------------ ---The Good Doctor ---Guildless Mage ---Gentlemen, this is the War Room! You can't fight in here! *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted September 13, 2000 07:42 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- As well as quite accidentally blasting a channel through the rats massed across the city outside, but only briefly. The rats close ranks and again begin to flood the bar, even more rapidly now, thanks to the huge hole in the wall. And horribly, the burned rats are still alive! And MORE upset. Inbetween dead and live rodent bodies, it's getting hard to move in the bar, rats piled almost as high as human armpits now. The casualties are horrific. Soon, the only ones still standing are P51mus, Bob, Zedd, Akabar, Feath, Really Bad...Dr. Evil Mo...Dr. Evil, and everyone else who is in fact still standing but whose names don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Portrait of Zool Posted April 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2003 feath Veteran Posts: 404 Registered: May 2000 posted September 13, 2000 08:52 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- panting, swinging her sword, and tring to keep her wings up, feath could be heard cussing a blue streak. the streak zipped from rat to rat, freezing them long enough in shock for feath to cut them in half with her sword. she leaped onto the bar, and momentarly out of range, she leaned against her sword. "you know guys, i just had an idea. there is one thing that i have that no one else does...AND its big enough to do the job... i think..." bob grunted. "yes, bob, your right. it would be dangerous. i dont know if i could servive it. but hey!" feath shrugged with a snarky smile, "whats life with out a few --hehe tickleish moments?" bob grunted again. "no, i think i should. what have i got to loose but my girlish figure?" and with that, she patted her chest... "oh here little rats, here, come to momma!" the rats swarmed up the bar, up feaths body, and..... down her cleavage. feath wiggled. she gave a tiny shreek, and a womanly giggle... "no fighting now! plenty of room for every...er, thing!" *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted September 14, 2000 07:04 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The massive swarm pours into feath's cleavage. An irregularity catches her eye in the stream of rodents. *BINK!* Zool smashes into the floor after being hit hard on the head with the flat of feath's blade. He rubs the tender bump under the dent in his helm with a gloved hand. "Drat!" ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted September 14, 2000 07:21 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Upon hearing human like noices near him, Racouol reached into the sea of Rats and pulled out Zool. After shaking Zool to get all the rats off him, Racouol threw Zool to one of the chandalears. "Ok, drastic times call for drastic measures." Racouol then pulled a nucular warhead out of one of his pockets, and set it to go off in five seconds. 5......4......3.....2.....1 Unfortunetly the nucular warhead turned out to be a dud. "Damn, looks like it is time to go back to the ol' drawing board." Racouol jumped onto the chandelear that Zool was on and started fishing through his pockets again. "Hmm, a spell to summon 10000000000 hungry peasents,Na." tosses it to the side. Zool of coarse caught it before it went over the side. "Hmmm, a contract with a rat exterminator. No that will not do either." Tosses that too but Zool again caught it. "Hmmm, Grim Squeaker tee shirts. This might do." Racouol then puts the tee shirt on and starts fishing for more in his pockets. ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets *********************************************************************** Jagged Veteran Posts: 144 Registered: Aug 2000 posted September 14, 2000 01:43 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If Betty Crocker where here he'd know what to do!!! Just what does Feath think she is going to do with all those rats in her clothes?? I don't think that I'll be asking her out for drink anymore, dam thats nasty...... Hey where did ya get that cool T-shirt Racouol?? ------------------ So far gone don't know when I'll be back. *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted September 14, 2000 02:38 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Grim Squeaker t-shirts can be bought in the A2 BH. I still love you feath! ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted September 14, 2000 02:43 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zool's arms are full now of artifacts from Racouols pockets. They both hear a creaking noise come from the ceilling immediately above the chandelier. As their eyes meet, the chandeleir pulls out of the ceilling. "AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE" screams Zool. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted September 15, 2000 09:40 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Aaaaiiieeee!!!!" Racouol screamed as he fell into the sea of rats just as he pulled out his rat incinerating lazer from his pocket. Racouol then stood up and looked around. "hmm, maybe it is time to cast a inferno spell." All the other mages just glared at him when he said that. He then resited the spell. All of a sudden a rain of ol' particular started falling. ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted September 15, 2000 10:17 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Though her plan actually seemed to be working at first,when the first hour passed and the river of rats showed no signs of stopping, even the intomidable Shaolin dragoness decided to call it quits. For after all, there's "ticklish" situations and then there are "suicidal" ones. On the plus side, the rat level on the bottom floor of the inn has not gotten any higher as a result. Feath begins to sway a bit more than usual as she heads for the door, cleavage now thoroughly rodented. The rain of Ol' Particular cascades down, drenching each and every mage, as well as each and every rat (that is not shielded by dragon...flesh, that is). Zool looks over at Racououl and sniffs daintily. "Do you really have to go about leaving a trail of random detritus wherever you go? Have some common courtesy, man! Someone could trip and fall over this. And so many sharp objects! What if there were children around? To say nothing of how unsightly it makes the bar look. And we won't even START on your defintion of 'personal hygeine..." Zeddicus looks at Dr. Evil and snorts. "Bah! You call that wizardry? Back in my day, MOST sorcerors made use of brains before brawn! You, you don't even make a TOKEN attempt at outthinking your opponnent before charging in, crossbow blazing, or arm cannon blasting! What the hell *is* that thing, anyway??" He trails off in disgust, gesturing at the rather large metal barrel that has replaced the good doctor's left arm. Soon, bickering and complaining fills the bar. Even the rats are not immune. "Squeak!" "Squeak!" "Squeeeaak!!" "Squeak, squeak!" "Squeak!" ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted September 27, 2000 07:05 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Racouol gives Zool an odd look, then clangs his skull with a frying pan. Zool goes down heavily. "SQUEAK!" laughes The Grim Squeaker. *CLANG!* Racouol landed a tremendous blow with his frying pan square on The Grim Squeaker. A horde of rats jumped Racouol, then a horde of mages jumped the rats. The entire Inn erupted into the most ferocious fighting yet. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra Don't MAKE me get out the Rubber Chicken... *********************************************************************** Dr. Evil Veteran Posts: 270 Registered: Apr 2000 posted September 27, 2000 06:14 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And then suddenly, a huge ray of light bursts through the wall and fries about half the rats and their respective opponents. Everyone stare aghast as the ray blasts through the other side, and then, almost all at the same time, look at the doctor. Even the rats. Doc rubs his head, and grins sheepishly. "Oh. . .um, remember that little attack of mine? I think that was it circling the globe. It'll go a lot quicker now that it's already mowed down everything in its path." Everyone still stares as the good doctor shifts uncomfortably for a few minutes. The attack blows through both holes again. "Um. . .it looked like it was losing steam!" he offered hopefully. He stops speaking moments before the first flung chair hits him in the face. The first of many. ------------------ ---The Good Doctor ---Guildless Mage ---Gentlemen, this is the War Room! You can't fight in here! *********************************************************************** Tri-Lance Veteran Posts: 38 Registered: Sep 2000 posted September 27, 2000 07:22 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- With half of the rats fried, a newcommer enters. "Dehidrate." he says and the remaining rats turn into fifty bags of jerky. Then the newcommer leaves with one of the sacks of jerky. ------------------ Alexander the Holy of Tri-Lance: Dryad Lord of Terra, Bard. *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted September 27, 2000 09:06 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And is summarily devoured by the landscape of rats waiting outside. A familiar voice sings out from somewhere above the inn. "Herrre I come to save to save the day!" Zool reacts on instinct. "Duck and cover!!!" Song suddenly bursts from the air all around. And he will prove that crime will never paaaay-ay! So, let the trumpet players play; Dadalahda-da! For Mighty- A man in a midnight blue robe comes crashing through the celing rather violently. In a hail of splinters, planks, shingles, candles, chain, chandelier, and Phantasm Mage, Ozymandias hits the floor facedown. His hip flask in his hand, it quietly spills it contents onto the much-abused floor. He doesn't move. ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! I think it no accident that every civilized people has discovered the art of distillation. -Rofellos of Llanowar Member of Holy of the World (A1) *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted September 28, 2000 08:19 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "This looks bad!" Zool exclaims. "Dr. Evil, help me out." "There's only so much modern psychiatry can do," explained the good doctor. "Not me, HIM!" "HIM?" asked the doctor in disbelief, "Have you noticed I'm at the bottom of a pile of furniture?" Zool notices that every chair, table, and dead body has been piled in a heap on top of the good doctor. "That's just great! Well, I'll have to see what I can do!" Donning a doctor's examination mirror and a white coat, Zool bends down to attend to his patient. Suddenly he stands back up again. "Nurse! Nurse!" he shouts. "There are no nurses around here," came Dr Evil's muffled voice from the bottom of the pile. "What! No nurse? That's horrible! How can I be expected to work under these conditions?" asked Zool. "I'll be your nurse," said a grizzled veteran as he stepped from the small crowd of gathered mages. "I have a lot of field experience..." "Get away from me son, you bother me. I'm afraid you just don't have the legs for this kind of work." The dejected mage stepped back into the crowd. "Zool, Ozymandias..." said Dr. Evil's voice. "Oh yeah!" Zool bent back to his patient again. "Hmm... Neck - check. Arm - check. Hip flask - Oh NO!" Zool uprights the hip flask saving the last few drips. "Phew, that was close," said Zool as he looked up with the Hip flask in his hand. "I thought for sure it would be all gone." Zool drained the flask. "Ah!" "What about Ozymandias?" asked the doctor from under his pile. "Him? Oh, I'm afraid he's been killed to death - never had a chance really. You see..." Just then the doctors bolt of energy flew through the room again, very close to where Zool was kneeling next to Ozymandias. A stray blue arc caught Zool at the start of his explanation - he never finished it. Instead he lit up like a light bulb, blue flames leaping from every fold and orifice. His skeleton flouresced with the energy flowing through his body in several brief flickers, then he was laid out next to Ozymandias. His white robe was tattered and blackened, his skin was covered in soot, and his hair surrounded his head like a fine wreath where it had all fallen out. Thin trails of smoke rose from several spots. Fortunately, some of the fiery blue energy leaked through Zool, durring his cataclysmic contact, to Ozymandias. Ozymandias' body spasmed several times, and then he coughed. Squirming around weakly, he was heard to mumble "...come t' shave the day..." All the mages ran over to see what was going on with Ozymandias. They helped him to a sitting position. He coughed some more. "I know that cough! get him some booze, quick!" came Dr. Evils muffled voice from under the pile of detritus. Booze was quickly procured, and poured down Ozymandias' willing throat. He opened his eyes. "Rats!" he roared. "Are you Ok?! Are you all right?" everyone was shouting at Ozymandias. "I... I'm ok... really..." said Zool weakly from behind the crowd. "Aaauugh! Who put that roof there?!" shouted Ozymandias as he jumped to his feet. "Blasted thing. And WHERE IS MY FLASK?!" Mages scattered at the force of the inquiry. With the sound of a squeaky hinge Zool raised his arm to hold up the battered flask for Ozymandias.. "Oh, thanks. Bartender, refill this. I've got work to do." "Any time..." said Zool from the floor. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra Don't MAKE me get out the Rubber Chicken... *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted September 28, 2000 08:49 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Now then. When I *hic* was overhead, I saw a lot of white rats milling about in the mass. Curious, I watched them, and they evntually walked together to form a word." "A word?" "What was it?" "'Akabar'. Does that hold any meaning for anyone? Is it a name?" ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! I think it no accident that every civilized people has discovered the art of distillation. -Rofellos of Llanowar Member of Holy of the World (A1) *********************************************************************** peredhil31 Veteran Posts: 880 Registered: May 2000 posted September 28, 2000 03:21 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Akabar?” A voice came clearly from the back of the crowd. A young mail-clad woman slid through the Inn’s denizens and glided agilely over the remains of rats. “I seek one by that name.” She stopped in front of Ozymandias, looking up at his blue-clad form to his booze blurred features. The rugged majesty of former glories could still be read thereon. “Tell me good Sir, do you know the one I seek?” Ozymandias shrugged mightily and sipped delicately. A smothered belch. “Sorry, I just read the rats.” Turning, the flaxen maid addressed the gathered crowd. “Long have I traveled, many perils have I dared to bring that scoundrel to justice. Nay, I’m not Moon-struck! Eleazar of the Worms himself directed my steps to this pestiferous town. Therein, quoth the good Mage, you will find Akabar the Assassin Mage. Drawing her sword, she held it high. “By the sword of my murdered father, I claim vengeance. Foul Skulker of shadows, master of dark dweomer, face the bright steel of vengeance if you dare!” *********************************************************************** Tri-Lance Veteran Posts: 38 Registered: Sep 2000 posted September 28, 2000 03:27 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I've heard that name before." the man that left the inn was back inside, without so much as a scrach. "I forget were though." he says. "Now, if anyone wants to get rid of the rats, put on one of these suits of armor." he says an summons up a couple dozen or so suits of armor and a diamond suit. He proptly puts it on; draws a sword and a javalin; and starts chopping at the rats, heading straight toward the grim squeaker. ------------------ Alexander the Holy of Tri-Lance: Dryad Lord of Terra, Bard. quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write things worth reading or doo things worth writing. Observe all men; thyself most. In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes. The doors of wisdom are never shut. -Benjamin Franklin Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. -Thomas Edison Keep your friends close; and your enemies, even closer. -Anonymus Watch your allies as well as your enemies. -Alexander -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted September 28, 2000 08:33 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Resurrections. Handy things. Alexander marches confidently in the direction he supposes The Grim Squeaker is in, which is toward the hole in the wall nearest him to the rats waiting outside. ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App IP: Logged Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted September 29, 2000 05:41 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A young warrior in a breechcloth stepped forward. He was deeply tanned, very muscular, with oriental features, long straight black hair hanging past his shoulders, and an immense sword with a great ruby set in the hilt strapped to his back. "I know of Akabar," said the young man. He spat the name 'Akabar' as he said it, as if just having the name on his tongue was repulsive to him. "I know the name well. I am Rakira, and I have traveled from a distant land just to find this Akabar." As he spoke, Rakira turned slowly, addressing the assembled mages seemingly one by one, looking each one in the eyes in turn, until he held the rapt attention of every mage in the Inn. "If you have never heard the name of Akabar, count yourself lucky, for he is the most ruthless, ambitious, coldhearted evil mage that ever lived, or ever will live." "It was almost twenty years ago, when I was at my mother's knee, that I first heard that name. It was the stuff of legends - stories told to small children to scare them into behaving. 'Akabar will get you' was how I heard it. But my people were only making light of the horror they had lived through in previous years. That much I found out much later." As he spoke, and as he looked in each mages face, they could see the hate boiling up from the insufferable wounds inflicted by Akabar and his bloodthirsty gang of thieves upon his people, his family, and his self. "One night, they came back. Him and his gang of outlaws stormed into our town, burning, looting, and murdering. My father pleaded with him, but they killed him and stole my sisters, and killed my brothers. It was only through a miracle that my mother, while trying to carry me to safety, fell into a hole and was knocked unconscious the rest of the night. I lay under her, frightened..." His voice caught. Tears of rage and shame ran down his face. Even the rats were silent. After a moment he went on. "In the morning, we rose to complete devastation. There were only a few stragglers left out of our entire village. We set about burying the dead. It was then that my mother made me swear a blood oath for vengeance on my Fathers grave." "My next birthday I went to train to be a warrior with the old mad hermit in the mountains. He trained me well." His eyes burned passionately as he spoke, no one doubted his assertion. "And so, for many years I have been tracking Akabar, through all the lands he had plundered and made his own. I will have my vengeance!" The warrior stood like a god with his fist clenched in the air, ready to battle the universe to attain his end - the destruction of his life's nemesis. "Akabar..." he said in a near whisper. "The name is burned in my soul... Akabar." ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra Don't MAKE me get out the Rubber Chicken... *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted September 29, 2000 08:35 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Racouol walks up and pats the warrior on the back. "Well then sir, I hope that you get this Akabar someday." The beam of light went through the 2 holes about 7 more times before Racouol lost it. "Dr. Evil, try to have a wee bit more self control when you cast a spell like that." Racouol then pulled a huge green frying pan out of his pocket and muttered to himself " I hope this works" Racouol then swung the frying pan so it hit the light the next time it came around. ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets *********************************************************************** peredhil31 Veteran Posts: 880 Registered: May 2000 posted September 29, 2000 09:42 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Akabar." Hatred rumbled through the gravelly tones. A mound of rats shifted and tumbled to reveal a Dwarf. Shaking his bloodstained axe, the Dwarf howled, "Rhadik Khulim! I too claim the life of that dark Assassin! Deep within the bowels of Mount Khal-" At that moment Dr. Evil's light reflected off of the Green Frying Pan into the Dwarf. With a Blinding Flash and a clap of thunder, the light burst. The axe hung in the air a bare moment, then fell atop the cone of Dwarf ash... *********************************************************************** Zeddicus Veteran Posts: 46 Registered: Sep 2000 posted September 30, 2000 12:18 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- While all this talk about Akabar was going on, the mysterious mage in the shape-shifting cloak was sneaking around placing mirrors around the inn. Although thought to be random the patrons at the inn would soon find they are wrong. *turning around* Zeddicus faces Racouol just as the beam of light hits the pan. *diving to the ground* He covers himself with some tin foil(shiny side up of course). When the light bursts it seperates into milions of smaller fragmented beams each one hitting a mirror and reflecting again. Now as the beams whirl around the inn patrons are all scrambling for cover. (thinking to himself, "I hope this takes care of our problem.") *shrugs* Finally all around is nothing but a circle of light. Then suddenly Zeddicus stands up into the light and directs it all at The Grim Squeaker(who happens to be standing right next to him). Taking a major force of the beam Zeddicus is thrown through(what is left of)the wall and down three buildings. The beam of light bounce off of the tin foil and hits The Grim Squeaker full on. It burns him to cinders and leaves no hope of any sort of Resurection nor any life after death. After their "god" is torch beyond any compare, the rats all howl and start seizing on the floor and start to die off faster and faster. *shakes head* Trying to clear the cobwebs, Zeddicus stands then stumbles to his knees. Looking up and towards the inn he realizes that it work. Well at least some what. *shrugs* ------------------ Bearer of the mirrorshrowd. Master of the scimitar. "I am that thing that flits by the corner of your eye, I am that feeling you get when you know you are being watched. Ah, but beware I'm watching." *********************************************************************** The Grim Squeaker Veteran Posts: 143 Registered: May 2000 posted October 01, 2000 08:25 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- For the first time in a long while, the Grim Squeaker is taken quite aback. Firstly, why on Terra did Zeddicus vaporize the small pile of black rags it had leaned its scythe against? And secondly, why were all the rats dying? And where did they learn to scream? Pondering the situtation from its hot tub (a mug of Ol'Peculiar that he'd filched from Ozymandias), he reached a decision, and climbed out to clatter over to Zool. Zool in turn feels his calf being prodded with a sharp object a few minutes later. SQUEAK. He is offered a Post-it: _____________________________________________ What the @#$%& is happening to the rats? They're gonna be a bit cheesed off when I meet 'em later. And you have no idea how difficult they can be. Explain. I don't like it. Sincerely, The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App _____________________________________________ Zool once again marvels at the subtle nuance of immaculate penmanship when using a crayon. *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted October 01, 2000 08:33 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Feeling an odd draft, Ozymandias looks down at his arm. He looks at the perfect hole in his arm for a long moment. He then glares at Zeddicus. "Old man," Ozy says quietly, "if you ever burn a hole in me again, I will be very, very upset." ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! I think it no accident that every civilized people has discovered the art of distillation. -Rofellos of Llanowar Member of Holy of the World (A1) *********************************************************************** Zeddicus Veteran Posts: 46 Registered: Sep 2000 posted October 02, 2000 06:19 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *walks back to inn* Having reached the inn Zeddicus looks it over. Then something catches his eye. It is The Grim Squeaker over by Zool. *shakes head in disbelief* He thinks to himself, "How the heck did he escape that?" *looks towards the pile that was thought to be the Squeaker* Thinks to himself "I don't know but it is amazing!" *shakes head again then shrugs* Zeddicus then walks over to Ozymandias. He says to him, "Sorry about your arm, Ozy. If you like I could Heal that for you. Please forgive myself for the lack of warning." ------------------ Bearer of the mirrorshrowd. Master of the scimitar. "I am that thing that flits by the corner of your eye, I am that feeling you get when you know you are being watched. Ah, but beware I'm watching." *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted October 02, 2000 06:27 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Racouol looks at his now ruined green frying pan and sighed. It seemed now like he was going through at least 20 frying pans a day. That green one was suppose to be the strongest out there too. Even came with a lifetime warrenty. Racouol sighed again and put the now ruined frying pan into his pocket. ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted October 02, 2000 11:55 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I would appreciate it." ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! I think it no accident that every civilized people has discovered the art of distillation. -Rofellos of Llanowar Member of Holy of the World (A1) *********************************************************************** Dr. Evil Veteran Posts: 270 Registered: Apr 2000 posted October 03, 2000 08:22 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From under a pile of furniture, a voice is heard. "Um. . .hello? I'm still here. Hello? I think my arm's busted. Please help. . . I could set it myself, but I need four trained assistants. . .please don't leave me here. . ." Oblivious, the mages continue talking, no one moving to help. ------------------ ---The Good Doctor ---Guildless Mage ---Gentlemen, this is the War Room! You can't fight in here! *********************************************************************** Zeddicus Veteran Posts: 46 Registered: Sep 2000 posted October 04, 2000 05:04 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Ah yes next time a little more consideration is in order. Now about that arm..."*concentrates and gets a smooth, emotionless look on his face* Ozymandias's arm knits itself and there is not a scar, just a little discoloration from the new skin. "...there you go. Good as new and you can hardly notice anything" *Smiles then shrugs* ------------------ Bearer of the mirrorshrowd. Master of the scimitar. "I am that thing that flits by the corner of your eye, I am that feeling you get when you know you are being watched. Ah, but beware I'm watching." *********************************************************************** Dr. Evil Veteran Posts: 270 Registered: Apr 2000 posted October 04, 2000 07:17 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Everyone continues chatting about some quest. Dr. Evil is glad to hear Ozy's arm has been repaired. But what about him? "Help. . .please. . .I'm getting dizzy. . .I've lost a lot of blood. . ." More silence. Then, a pleading wail. "I CONFESS! I never finished med school! I bought SAT answers! It's not my fault, my parents are. . .were. . .loaded. . .ple-he-he-heeeeease let me out. . ." More silence. "Ummmm. . .if I'm not mistaken. . .there's a very angry Treant mistaken for a chair above me. . .help?" (Sounds of a struggle) "Um. . .I'm okay. . .but I've lost the other arm. . .please help. . .Zool? Ozyamandias? P51mus? Tri-Lance? brute? Racouol? Defend me friends, I am but hurt. . ." Silence. Still silence. "Guys. . .?" ------------------ ---The Good Doctor ---Guildless Mage ---Gentlemen, this is the War Room! You can't fight in here! *********************************************************************** Demorce1 Veteran Posts: 49 Registered: Jun 2000 posted October 05, 2000 12:47 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A great laugh comes from behind Dr. Evil. "What's so funny?" Dr. Evil says crying. "What's funny is that your arm is messed up and you scream like a little girl,"the man laughs. "Shut up you meany I'm no whiner who are you anyways?" " I am Demorce and I'm soory for my rude greetings, I meant no harm so let me help you." Demorce replied. ------------------ Demorce *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted October 05, 2000 09:55 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I guess I could help you out." Racouol and this new mage then proceeded to unearth Dr Evil. ------------------ Blitz 1: Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets Blitz 2: Tasuki Ager 1: Murdock Red Dragon General Apprentice of Racouol *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted October 05, 2000 10:24 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Doctor! Are you alright?" Eyes the massive, rumbling form of the Treant. "Need a hand, Gentlemen?" ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -Benjamin Franklin *********************************************************************** Zeddicus Veteran Posts: 46 Registered: Sep 2000 posted October 06, 2000 09:47 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "hmmm....How many mages does it take to get rid of a treant?" Zeddicus thinks to himself. *shrugs then turns to Dr. Evil* "If I helped I do beleave I'd just be in the way." *walks over to the bar and has a seat* Calls over to the group of mages over the Dr., "If you need a fourth, just let me know." ------------------ Bearer of the mirrorshrowd. Master of the scimitar. "I am that thing that flits by the corner of your eye, I am that feeling you get when you know you are being watched. Ah, but beware I'm watching." *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted October 07, 2000 11:19 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well I do know one way o getting rid of that treant on Dr Evil, unfortunetly it requires me poring 5 gallons of gas on it then lighting it on fire. If I did that then Dr. Evil would be killed too. ------------------ Blitz 1: Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets Blitz 2: Tasuki Ager 1: Murdock Red Dragon General Apprentice of Racouol *********************************************************************** Dr. Evil Veteran Posts: 270 Registered: Apr 2000 posted October 07, 2000 06:45 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Evil whimpers. "I found a snake. . .it's a toxicus maximus. . .that means it's really poisonous. . .ow, it bit me. . .all. . .I see. . .is. . .blackness. . ." Silence. "I'm still alive! Keep digging! C'mon. . ." ------------------ ---The Good Doctor ---Guildless Mage ---Gentlemen, this is the War Room! You can't fight in here! *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted October 08, 2000 06:44 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Quit whining Doc. We are trying to get you out of here as fast as we can." Racouol then starts fishing in his pockets and pulls out a 5 gallon can of gas, which he proceeded to pore all over the items on dr evil. He then took a match and lit it. ------------------ Blitz 1: Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets Blitz 2: Tasuki Ager 1: Murdock Red Dragon General Apprentice of Racouol *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted October 08, 2000 11:02 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ozymandias carefully steps backward, slipping brooches of protection around his neck and wrists. ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -Benjamin Franklin *********************************************************************** Zeddicus Veteran Posts: 46 Registered: Sep 2000 posted October 09, 2000 06:39 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Seeing Racouol light the match, Zeddicus hurrily recites Scroll of Protection from Fire for himself and the Doc. Then for added measure throws on a brooch or two on his neck. ------------------ Bearer of the mirrorshrowd. Master of the scimitar. "I am that thing that flits by the corner of your eye, I am that feeling you get when you know you are being watched. Ah, but beware I'm watching." *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted October 09, 2000 06:54 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Racouol smile just grew larger and larger as he watched the fire for a few moments. He then tossed it onto the pile on top of Dr. Evil. Racouol then ran back a few feet to make sure he did not catch on fire as the flame sprang up behind him. Racouol then starts fishing in his pockets again and pulled out a bag of marshmellows. "Anyone want one?" ------------------ Blitz 1: Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets Blitz 2: Tasuki Ager 1: Murdock Red Dragon General Apprentice of Racouol *********************************************************************** Dr. Evil Veteran Posts: 270 Registered: Apr 2000 posted October 09, 2000 07:49 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Under the flaming pile of furniture, a voice is heard. "Ummm. . .there's Salamanders down here. . .I think you accidentally opened a hole into the center of the earth. . .yep, there's fire demons dragging me down. . ." The furniture and treants burns away. Indeed, there is a hole in the ground. Dr. Evil has been pulled down. Will the good doctor's friends rescue him? Do they care? Next time, on Inn of the Assassin Magi! ------------------ ---The Good Doctor ---Guildless Mage ---Gentlemen, this is the War Room! You can't fight in here! *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted October 10, 2000 09:32 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ozymandias moves like greased lightining. In one fluid motion, he has his sword drawn and wielded above his head like a samurai warrior. "IMPERIUS REX!" His blow to the remaining debris utterly annihilates it, leaving nothing but a smoking hole, that by the echoes it carries, goes a long way down. Ozymandias leaps in. A jet of flame erupts from the floor, not actually burning a thing, but leaving all who were licked by its flames feeling very, very cold. Then there is nothing. Not even a sound. Minutes pass. A half an hour. An hour. Hours roll by. Racouol tramps up to the hole resolutely. Methodically, he checks the balance of his frying pans. Satisfied, he steps to the edge. "I guess someone needs to save them both. I'm going in." At this point, Zeddicus jumps in front of him. "Wait! Shh! Listen!!!" All the gathered mages listen to the hole, straing to hear...what sounds like...singing. It is the most inhuman, unearthly noise they have ever heard issue from a living or dead throat. "99 bottles of wall on the beer, 99 bottles of beer, take one down, pass it aroun', 99 beetles of bar on the wall..." And so on. ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -Benjamin Franklin The Pen is Mightier than the Sword- A1 Elder and Founder *********************************************************************** Demorce1 Veteran Posts: 49 Registered: Jun 2000 posted October 11, 2000 08:27 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "98 bottles of beer on... the...wall, what I was bored out of my mind and I was tired of helping that messed up Dr. Evil fellow," Demorce said. ------------------ Demorce *********************************************************************** Dr. Evil Veteran Posts: 270 Registered: Apr 2000 posted October 12, 2000 10:08 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC: MESSED UP DR. EVIL FELLOW?! I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY IDEA WHO YOU ARE! HOW DARE YOU JUDGE ME SO! However, your verdict is quite correct. IC: Dr. Evil shouts, "No! Stop!" as the horrid goblins continue singing. Nearby, Ozyamanadias wriths in helpless agony while he is prodded with pointy sticks by the goblins. He looks toward the tunnel, hoping Racouol, Zool, p51mus and Bob the stone golem will help the good doctor and the mad king. ------------------ ---The Good Doctor ---Guildless Mage ---Gentlemen, this is the War Room! You can't fight in here! *********************************************************************** Manshoon Veteran Posts: 99 Registered: Mar 2000 posted October 12, 2000 04:33 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Amongst the foolishness of some mages and the wise debates of others a dark cloud slowly coalesces around a ebon throne that sits in the corner. The cloud slowly molds itself into the shape of a man long thought dead. Some gasp in horror and recognition. Others stare in awe of this archmage's power. The mold becomes a dark robe with the mage's face being the whole distuigishing feature. The typicl sarcastic smirk greets those who see the mage known only as Manshoon. Manshoon sees again new faces and old and he is pleased that Terra is still around to be subject to his slavery. "Greetings fellow mages.....It is has been a long time" ------------------ Manshoon Lord of Zhentil Keep Master of the Black Arts Former Councilor of Clan Shadowen (Now deceased)Member of TWOR "Manshoon curse you! Your ego-driven power has gotten out of control. What?!?! You dare try to silenc...."Lastknown enemy of Manshoon R.I.P. *********************************************************************** P51mus Veteran Posts: 860 Registered: Jun 2000 posted October 12, 2000 05:03 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- P51mus and Bob the Stone Golem are just standing there, almost totally oblivious to what is happening in the area If one looks at where P51mus is currently looking they will see an exceptionally shiny ball of foil.... ------------------ -P51mus The Schizophrenic Mage Friend of Bob the stone golem Warper of Reality Server 1 (mage name withheld) WHACK (ARS) suicide guild Ager Server 1 Slavik The Brethren And isn't sanity really just a one trick pony anyway? I mean, all you get is one trick! Rational thinking. But when you're good and crazy, oooh!! The sky's the limit! -The Tick Fate is like a caged gorilla. It will pelt you with dung if you mock it. -Warriv (Diablo 2) We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. -Anais Ninn *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted October 13, 2000 06:58 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Great Balls 'o... foil... What is that?" ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra Doing it because; I can. The Pen is Mightier than the Sword - A1 Elder *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted October 13, 2000 07:00 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zool turns to Manshoon. "Excuse me, Have you met my rubber chicken?" *Thwap* Zool smacks Manshoon right in his moldy face with the rubber chicken. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra Doing it because; I can. The Pen is Mightier than the Sword - A1 Elder *********************************************************************** Demorce1 Veteran Posts: 49 Registered: Jun 2000 posted October 13, 2000 09:49 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The goblin gnome Demorce laughs at the incident with the rubber chicken. *Thwap* "Ouch, what you hit me fo'?" shouted Demorce while rubbing his stuby little green head. Demorce gets up and lunges toward Zool and starts nawing at his ankles. "GET IT OFF ME MAN!!!!" screams Zool. ------------------ Demorce *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted October 14, 2000 08:33 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "AaaaaaaaaagghhH!!" Zool screamed in agony at the little knawer on his ankle. He hopped around like crazy trying to knock Demorce off on any upright thing he could find - burnt out tables and chairs, the bar, the wall, nearby mages - but hurt himself as much as Demorce. In a fit of reserved, manly panic Zool jumped headfirst down the hole, still screaming, with Demorce still knawing away at his ankle, and they fell to the center of Terra. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra Doing it because; I can. The Pen is Mightier than the Sword - A1 Elder *********************************************************************** Manshoon Veteran Posts: 99 Registered: Mar 2000 posted October 15, 2000 11:44 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Manshoon gestures and the hole covers up. He smirks, "That should keep them busy for five minutes......" ------------------ Manshoon Lord of Zhentil Keep Master of the Black Arts Former Councilor of Clan Shadowen (Now deceased)Member of TWOR "Manshoon curse you! Your ego-driven power has gotten out of control. What?!?! You dare try to silenc...."Last known enemy of Manshoon R.I.P. Ally and Enemy both. I shall not forget our struggles. *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted October 16, 2000 06:39 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRREEEEEEIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!" ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra Doing it because; I can. The Pen is Mightier than the Sword - A1 Elder *********************************************************************** Demorce1 Veteran Posts: 49 Registered: Jun 2000 posted October 16, 2000 02:51 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Demorce contines to knaw on Zool's ankle and viciously tears off small chunks of flesh and muscle. Finally Demorce starts to calm himself and swallows a piece of meat left in his mouth. Zool grabs his ankle and starts to bandage it up. "Why, why did you do that you little prick?"Zool said. "Well, you made me mad and plus I was hungry and quit your whinning it's only a flesh wound,"replied Demorce. "It sure is a long way down, oh well,"said Demorce. He then started to sing that sme familiar tune again, "96 bottles of beer on the wall, 96 bottles of beer, you take one down pass it around 95 bottles of beer on the wall..." ------------------ Demorce *********************************************************************** Zool Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted October 17, 2000 08:12 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Suddenly Demorce began to feel quite strange, and with a chill he realized why; he had eaten some of Zool. He felt strange because he was becoming strange. He quickly bent over and stuck a claw down his throat, but he knew it was too late, he had already begun to digest his piece of Zool. Demorce grabbed his head with his hands, staggering, as he felt his consciousness begin to zoom out of control, his imagination careening through the spectrum of sensations, motivations, appetites, emotions, and endless derivations in a tumult of veracitous fictions. His last memmory was the feeling of the bizarreness spreading from his center like a crystalline fungus. ******************** Some time later, Demorce awoke naked, laying spreadeagle under a brilliant night sky. He had no idea where he was, but his whole body was caked with dried mud, sticks, and grass, and the palms of his hands were scraped raw. He slowly, painfully, worked to a sitting position and checked himself over for damage. He seemed all right, except for some reason all the hair on the left side of his head was patchily shaved off. He belched, and nearly heaved at the foul taste that arose in his mouth. "Ugck!" He chocked, that didn't agree with him at all. He flopped back onto his back, feeling quite ill. After he felt the rock he was on quit spinning, he slowly sat up again. The rock was low enough he could put his feet down, and then stand up, which he unsteadily did. After a minute of standing, he felt much better. In a halting fashion he began to walk toward the low hills which he could see plainly under the night sky at the horizon, and as he walked under those three moons, he wondered just what he had done and where he had been since his last memory. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra Doing it because; I can. The Pen is Mightier than the Sword - A1 Elder *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted October 17, 2000 10:24 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Present: As Zool, Ozymandias, and Dr. Evil stand before the crowd, a low murmur still ripples through them. Manshoon gapes openly. "I don't believe it. I just don't believe it. How...?" Picking a stick from his ear, Ozymandias fixes his him with a stern look. "No matter. We've got more pressing problems to attend to. Who is this Akabar? Why are several million rats outside our door so deathly quiet? And where's the Grim Squeaker? I don't think it's too far a leap of logic..." ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -Benjamin Franklin The Pen is Mightier than the Sword- A1 Elder and Founder *********************************************************************** Zeddicus Veteran Posts: 46 Registered: Sep 2000 posted October 18, 2000 06:25 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zeddicus also wonders at all the points Ozy is making. Then decides he just doesn't know and that he will just wait and watch. *shrugs* ------------------ Bearer of the mirrorshrowd. Master of the scimitar. "I am that thing that flits by the corner of your eye, I am that feeling you get when you know you are being watched. Ah, but beware I'm watching." *********************************************************************** Manshoon Veteran Posts: 99 Registered: Mar 2000 posted October 18, 2000 04:27 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ozymandias suddenly realizes that he has had the impudence to speak an a negative way to Manshoon. "I didn't realize..." Manshoon's smirk is all that answers him. The look is enough to freeze the marrow in the bones of all the other mages as they back away from Ozymandias. A ball of chaos lightning gathers above Manshoon's and flickers a hellish green. "Please...." begins Ozymandias. "Forgive" Suddenly the ball crashes into the mage and incinerates him to a scrap of ash. "You are forgiven" laughs Manshoon. "Tea anyone?" ------------------ Manshoon Lord of Zhentil Keep Master of the Black Arts Former Councilor of Clan Shadowen (Now deceased)Member of TWOR "Manshoon curse you! Your ego-driven power has gotten out of control. What?!?! You dare try to silenc...."Last known enemy of Manshoon R.I.P. Ally and Enemy both. I shall not forget our struggles. *********************************************************************** Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted October 18, 2000 09:33 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Sake, please. Racououl introduced me to it last year and I can't seem to make it through the day without some." Ozymandias strolls over from the bar, pulls out a chair from a table for Manshoon, then seats himself. Making himself comfortable before reacting to Manshoon's look of doom, he finally turns and smiles at the mage demurely. "I do so love being an illusionist. One must live up to one's school, after all. Do you take honey or sugar in your tea? I've got some ambrosia with me, and I find it's an absolute MUST instead of them." ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -Benjamin Franklin The Pen is Mightier than the Sword- A1 Elder and Founder *********************************************************************** Zeddicus Veteran Posts: 46 Registered: Sep 2000 posted October 19, 2000 05:53 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *shakes head then shrugs* ------------------ Bearer of the mirrorshrowd. Master of the scimitar. "I am that thing that flits by the corner of your eye, I am that feeling you get when you know you are being watched. Ah, but beware I'm watching." *********************************************************************** Manshoon Veteran Posts: 99 Registered: Mar 2000 posted October 19, 2000 08:41 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Manshoon's look of anger sends a shiver down a spine of steel. His eyes glisten with the bloodfires of fury..... Suddenly the customary smirk enters his lips and the anger vanishes like an illusion equal to the one he just destroyed. Manshoon smiles, "Ozymandias I like your style. Very clever." The Dark Lord gives a small nod to Ozymandias. He snaps his fingers and suddenly he and Ozymandias are sitting in plush chairs that are not of inn make and piping hot tea sits in each of their cups. "I wonder where Zool is?" ------------------ Manshoon Lord of Zhentil Keep Master of the Black Arts Former Councilor of Clan Shadowen (Now deceased)Member of TWOR "Manshoon curse you! Your ego-driven power has gotten out of control. What?!?! You dare try to silenc...."Last known enemy of Manshoon R.I.P. Ally and Enemy both. I shall not forget our struggles. ***************************************************** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Portrait of Zool Posted April 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2003 Zeddicus Veteran Posts: 46 Registered: Sep 2000 posted November 05, 2000 05:41 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Zeddicus Shrugs as he watches the spectacle* ------------------ Cadet of the Kindred Academy. The Drow Ranger. Bearer of the mirrorshrowd. Master of the scimitar. *********************************************************************** Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted November 05, 2000 09:43 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Racouol just sat in the corner, watched the rats get sucked through the portal, and drank his fresh glass of Rat Milk. "Ahhh, how refreshing." ------------------ Blitz 1: Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets Blitz 2: Tasuki Guildmaster of The Brotherhood of the Night Ager 1: Murdock Red Dragon General Apprentice of Racouol *********************************************************************** Sraphim Veteran Posts: 125 Registered: Nov 2000 posted November 14, 2000 09:46 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hmmm. Sraphim sits back and enjoys the fruits of his first post...er, bit of fiction and enjoys the scenery. Gotta love that tasty rats milk however. SCREW COWS! Who's with me? Sraphim Lord of A Small Gerbil (who I found in my garage and then made my most specialest, and only, friend, until he died.) Yes...that told more of my life's story than I originally intended. Oh well *********************************************************************** Sraphim Veteran Posts: 125 Registered: Nov 2000 posted November 17, 2000 10:49 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yummy...rats' milk... ------------------ Sraphim Proud member of the TWoR Kindred Alliance! *********************************************************************** Contact Us | www.magewar.com Powered by: Ultimate Bulletin Board, Version 5.47e © Infopop Corporation (formerly Madrona Park, Inc.), 1998 - 2000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted April 17, 2003 Report Share Posted April 17, 2003 I'd forgotten how much fun we had hijacking that thread... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted April 18, 2003 Report Share Posted April 18, 2003 OO-frickin'-RAH. Ah, the psychotic old days... I think I'll go stir up some trouble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamaranis Posted April 18, 2003 Report Share Posted April 18, 2003 Vanna Ascendant... nine moths, a butterfly, and a retarded caterpillar... Oh, the wondrous things that happened before my time. Poor Gohan and Akabar, they never knew what they were up against... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Racouol Posted May 24, 2003 Report Share Posted May 24, 2003 That brought back a lot of fond memories Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akallabeth Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 (few months late) After reading the various posts under RP etiquette, I decided that I had to read the Godmodding/God-mode example given here. This post got very interesting, at least after Akabar and Gohan stopped killing everyone in such unimaginative ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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