Blondemoon Posted March 5, 2003 Report Share Posted March 5, 2003 Ok, this I tried, key word being tried, to write while I was at work, even while the van I was in managed to hit every pothole the driver could find. And writing while driving...nearly impossible. (so it trying to drive and cry at the same time. Meh.) Subsequently, it's probably pretty choppy, since I kept losing my train of thought. <_< it must be nice to have the ability to hurt and make cry those who loved you without batting an eye. how could you do those things that you did? hurt and harm those that would have done anything for you without so much as a twinge? how does it feel to know what harm you've wrought? do you feel guilt? that I doubt. how could you use the ones who were nothing but friends to you, who were always there when you needed them, and not even blink? How How How? and more importantly Why? does it please you somehow to know that tears are shed because of you? souls are shattered because of you? all this pain is because of you? does it give you pleasure to imagine one girl's anger giving way to a burst of violence and one girl grasping a blade with shaking hand? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad Posted March 5, 2003 Report Share Posted March 5, 2003 I think it flows well. I'm impressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted March 5, 2003 Report Share Posted March 5, 2003 This provokes ramblings from me... Someone told me that Selfishness is the excuse of the truly Evil, so they can remain justified in their own mind. If that were to be true, then we all flirt with evil... But as a implication, it also means that the evil that people do is usually justified in some way in their own mind - and may not make sense to anyone else. I think very few people set out in the morning thinking, "I'm going to be evil today." As a further implication... Seeking closure and understanding of someone can be a mistake. It would be better to swim with sharks than to open communications and let them manipulate the communications again... Hugs -Peredhil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoaringIcarus Posted March 9, 2003 Report Share Posted March 9, 2003 I like how you grouped your lines, with a mind to question mark placement. Definitely gives a different angle on the attitude of the poem. -Icarus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaneus Posted March 9, 2003 Report Share Posted March 9, 2003 I liked this one. It seems like it sort of switches pace when it hits the last stanza. The everwise Pered strikes again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zariah Posted March 9, 2003 Report Share Posted March 9, 2003 This makes me very sad. I have felt EXACTLY like this. It's really hard to imagine that there are people like this out there, until you are hurt by them. Then.... trust in others can be hard. I don't kow if I am mumbling abut anything relelvant (ie. if this is not personal and just a creation on a rainy day) but if it is, talk to me about this, I know I am good listener. council, and I have been through this pain twice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blondemoon Posted March 9, 2003 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2003 Feeling like that...is not a fun ride. *expresses full agreement with Zariah* It was very hard to imagine that people like that exist, even harder to imagine that you would be the one to be unlucky enough to befriend one, love one, be crushed by one. As you said, you know exactly the feeling. Not something I'd wish on anyone...even the person the poem was about. God forbid he EVER have to go through what he put me through....even though at the same time, a part of me does kinda wish it on him...so he'd know. *sigh* If the words that Peredhil spoke are true, that we all flirt with evil, then I know I am guilty of it, as there is that part of me, the part that got buried underneath all the lies, all the crap, the part that I can feel is really pissed off at being buried, that would love nothing more than to see him suffer the way that I did. To be put through all the crap that I was put through. Before I start rambling, the comments you made were in fact, very relevant, Zariah. The poem was created out of a situation that was personal, and the nice emotional and still very pregnant thundercloud that surrounds it. <_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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