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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Greetings


Blby

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A wolf pads into the Cabaret, attracted by the nice smell of oranges. Following the light that comes through the window and plays with the shadows, she locates finally the source of the smell almost hidden in a corner. Smiling, she approaches him then changes into a woman.

 

"Hello, traveller... seems you're new around here. Have you come from afar?" She points at the orange. "That's a variety I haven't seen very frequently around the Keep. I wonder if the seeds would grow here..."

 

Turning, she signals for some refreshment to be brought. "My name's Tanny, nice seeing you around."

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Intrigued by the scent of oranges and the foreign scent of a new arrival, Mynx wandered in to the Cabaret Room, a smiling spreading on her feline face as she recognised Tanny's aura and the shadow of someone new.

"Another newby, Wuffie?" Mynx chuckled. "I hope you're looking after them."

Turning her faded eyes to the stranger, Mynx smiled and bowed her head in greeting.

"Welcome to the Pen. My name's Mynx and don't think that my being blind means I can't see you. My minions help me get by just fine," she gestured to the half dozen or so kittens milling around her paws, before grinning again.

"So tell us a little about yourself? What's your speciality?"

 

OOC: Welcome!! :)

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Eyes a-twitch, Blby watches Tanuchan and his body shivers slightly.

 

"Uh, hi!" as he takes a bite out of the fruit, peel and all. "Aye, I have come far, through noise, through threats, and even imprisonment."

 

Seeing Mynx approach, Blby edges slightly into the corner more. "Hello! My eyes aren't the greatest either, frankly. How do you get around then?

 

Seeing a third being approach the table, Blby gets twitchy. Suddenly his spot is vacant and Blby scurries under the table and out the other side. Mynx and Tanuchan blink. "Are you okay? Tanuchan asks kindly"

 

Blby blushes slightly. "Uh sorry, I'm a bit scared of being surrounded by too many people. But I didn't mean to run. Please do join me, Mr. Mustache."

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Owlish ears pick up Blby's words from afar and the owl stops about two dozen feet away from the table under which Blby had passed, nimbly landing on a coathanger at the side of the Cabaret Room. Cheerful hoots come from the owl's beaks, but if someone were not to speak owlish of course they would not understand the words of greeting.

 

OOC: Welcome to the Pen!

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"Mustache?"

 

There is a brief silence.

 

"Oh damn. Excuse me." With that a grey haired egyptian man appears behind the mustache, smiling somewhat embarassedly. "My apologies, friend. And thank you." Taking a seat, he introduces himself. "Ozymandias is what they call me. What may I call you?"

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Wyvern barges into the Cabaret Room without the slightest bit of consideration for shy types, dragging a long line of frying pans leftover from Elvina's room on his tail stinger. He speeds up at the sight of Blby next to the Cabaret table, rushing through the room in a racket of clanging metal. The reptilian Elder's speed breezes over Tanuchan and Mynx's respective furs and sends Ozymandias' mustache into a spin. Blby's eyes practically bulge from their sockets at the sight of the crimson-scaled almost dragon approaching, and he darts under the table in the hopes of escaping from the other side only to be caught by his collar. Wyvern lifts the small newcomer up with a claw until he's facing his snout and then grins a grin of razor sharp teeth.

 

"Greetingssss Blby." Wyvern lifts a bag labeled "Almost Dragonic Brand Extra-Tough Orange Rinds™" and dangles it in front of Blby's face. "I was wondering if I might interessst you in a lil' product of mine, 25 geld cheap. Oh, welcome to the Pen by the way."

 

;-)

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Blby blinks as Ozymandias appears. "Erm, hello! My name is Bartleby and...

 

Suddenly Wyvern appears and grabs Blby by his neck. Almost immediately Blby stops struggling though his feet kick occasionally. Blby shakes dramatically and tries to speak " " No words come out, so Blby shakes quietly in Wyvern's grip. His eyes roll slightly and look towards the others assembled.

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A small, furry newcomer, softly pads into the Cabaret Room on his four small paws. His pawsteps make no noise on the tapestries and he is able to move unseen and unheard by all, except the owl perching on a coathanger not far away. Strangely though the owl seems to ignore the small rodent scurrying across the vast hall towards the almost-dragon.

 

Thick scales and a general interest in Blby prevent the lizard from noticing the small mammal sniff at his tail and clamber up onto it. Before long the small rodent is laboriously climbing the incline that is the reptilian elder's back. It takes almost two minutes, but finally, only faintly panting, Pig, as he is called by his friends, is perched on next to one of Wyvern's horns, much to the amusement of everyone who iswatching.

 

However at a sudden movement from the almost-dragon, Pig is put off balance, perches dangerously, tries to grab hold of the horn he was standing next to but fails and tumbles into the depths below. Luckily for him, and to the greatest shock of Wyvern, he lands on the lizard's nose and is just able to hold on. There, Wyvern was faced by the rather frightening sight of a guinea pig sitting barely an inch from his eyes, looking at him with a slightly curious expression.

 

Posted Image

In his shock the lizard lets go of Blby, who falls to the ground, his fall luckily cushioned by the thick carpet underneath.

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No one quite noticed a figure that entered the Cabaret Room from the kitchen door.

 

Well, no one except the couple barmaids that were trying to grab him for explanations on how he had got into the kitchen. But he just shrugged them off, stumbling into a corner of the room. He looked around, using a table to steady himself, when a sound caught his attention. He stared at a guinea pig that was hugging the nose of some kind of giant lizard, and his eyebrows shoot towards the sky.

 

"You!"

 

He stepped out of shadows, his wide white lab coat trailing behind him as he lunged for the guinea pig as it fell to the floor.

 

"Finally I've caught you!"

 

A slightly trembling hand caught Guinea Pig by the scruff of his neck, ignoring completely Wyvern's open-mouthed astonishment.

 

"Bad guinea pig! Bad bad bad!" He shook the poor animal, though not enough to harm him except for some dizziness.

 

Guinea Pig squealed, his big eyes revealing fear at The Researcher. This one, known as Professor Hassium by his colleagues and just The Researcher by his researching subjects, stopped shaking Pig and started examining him closely, careful to keep his nose and fingers at a safe distance from the small teeth of the small rodent.

 

Professor Hassium ignored the murmurs for the moment, taking some steps closer to the window so that the light helped him see better. As a frantic hooting reached him, he whirled and stared the owl down.

 

"This is not your dinner, nightbird! Go find some mice in the kitchen, there must be quite some - there alwas are in kitchens. This Guinea Pig is important for my experiments - indeed, he has just managed to escape an inescapable cage and I'm most curious to know if it has to do with my latest tests on him!"

 

 

He ignored the other stares, and turned again the rodent towards the light, this time gingerly picking his hind paws so he could turn Pig upside down.

 

"Hmmmm...."

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Pig squeals as soon as he is picked up by the white-coated man. His regular squeals are punctuated by a high-pitched shriek when he is violently shook, flying all over the place and making him feel all dizzy. Finally, he can't help it and his fear gets the better of him when he is turned upside down and his bladder lets go, emptying its contents on the immaculately white lab-coat, which suddenly becomes not so white in a longish vertical patch.

 

"Oops, sorry," he squeals and then his eyes widen in shock. Has he just spoken in a language he didn't understand?

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Wyvern snorts at the spectacle and rubs his sensitive snout, glancing at Blby out the corner of his eye and grumbling over the loss of yet another potential customer. The overgrown lizard tilts his head and observes the banter that passes between Professor Hassium and the mischievous guinea pig, then scratches his scaly chin as a thought enters his devious mind. He pulls out his Devil's Advocate folder and snatches a blank sheet of paper from it, then fiddles through his pockets for a leaky quill and begins scribbling furiously. Wyvern scrawls his signature at the bottom of the document, then lets out a hiss and wanders over to The Researcher before the ink has even had time to dry.

 

"Excussse me, Dr. Hassium?" Wyvern pokes the professor on the shoulder, getting his full attention. The Researcher seems to stare at Wyvern in fascination, possibly observing his scales for their scientific value. "Name's Wyvern, niccce to meet ya. Lisssten, I'd be happy to direct you to the quarters of Dr. Tzimfemmestein so that the you might become acquainted with the Mighty Pen's mad scientist facilities, but I'm afraid there's a little business item that we need to discuss firssst."

 

Wyvern holds up his freshly scribbled document, raising a claw to clauses XXVI and XXXII (minus the fine print).

 

"You sssee, my horns happen to be the private property of Almost Dragonic Inc., as is detailed in the relevent clauses of this document. Tressspassing on the horns results in a fine of 580 geld, to be paid in hard currency, as is dictated in clause XIII." Wyvern lets his forked tongue flick back and forth and points towards a particular passage, then raises a claw at the guinea pig. "I'm afraid that your tessst subject has not only broken the trespassing law, but hasss also broken the 'no pets' policy, resssulting in an additional 150 geld fine for a total of 750 geld (20 geld service charge added)."

 

Wyvern rolls up the sheet of paper with a single swift movement, then extends a claw.

 

"If you pay up promptly, I jussst might be able to point yer guinea pig in the direction of Guido and Nuncio as well..."

 

;-)

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An apparently bipedal rat skeleton in a black cloak hops noiselessly to the top of a barstool, wobbling a bit under the precarious weight of the human-proportioned metal cylinder it is wielding, bones of its paws calsped tightly aroubnd the handle and...triggger. The cylinder, further to attentive onlooker's wonder, has an impressive belt-feeding apparatus attached to it. It is loaded with tangerines.

 

The newcomer weaves, wobbles more, weaves again, nearlty topples, then finally manages to draw a bead on Wyvern, then the man in the lab coat, then Wyvern, then the man in the lab coat , as if unsure who the target is. With a grim nod of it's ivory smile, it finally settles on a spot that encompasses both.

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Even as Ozymandias' bushy brows climb higher and higher, he looks speculatively at the tangerine he has peeled in his hands, then at the Grim Squeaker.

 

Making an executive decision, he coughs quietly, and tosses the tangerine to him.

 

Expertly catching the fruit in midair with his tail, the Grim Squeaker lobs it deftly into his ammunition.

 

"OhWyvernIthinkyourmutantrhododendronisbackforrevengeanditsgotfruit", quoth Ozymandias casually before diving under the table and pulling Bartleby with him.

 

The Death of Rats opens fire.

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This was slowly becoming too much for Patham. The sweet scent of guinea pig had been getting ever stronger and now that human clad in white, a set of clothes the shapeshifter had never seen before had brough him right under his owl nose. The smell was too good and he knew that if he stayed this close for even just a few more seconds it would be too much for him. He gracefully flew down to the carpet about a dozen feet away and there shifted back to his human form, just as the guinea pig uttered what seemed to be words. Had he almost wanted to eat a Talking Beast?

 

He was about to go over to talk to the researcher, Professor Hassium, when Wyvern bustled past him, almost knocking over, scheming about geld yet again. Then came the skeleton of a rodent that Patham had never seen before, with an unknown contraption in its hands. Even not knowing what it was he felt the danger, and fell flat down on his stomach, the carpet luckly cushioning his rapid descent.

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Intrigued by the commotion coming from the Cabaret Room, Venefyxatu peeks in. Immediately intrigued at the sight of the Death of Rats holding an interesting device, he then makes the mistake of actually entering the room, right when the Grim Squeaker opens fire. Almost as a reflex, the near-undead necromancer becomes incorporeal, thus avoiding getting hit by stray bits of tangerine. Fortunately for him, fruit rarely has a soul ...

 

After carefully weighing his options, Venefyxatu decided not to do anything just yet, and see what would happen next ...

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Professor Hassium's eyes showed his utter surprise at the words uttered by Pig.

 

"Talk? Have I heard you talking?"

 

He approached his eyes closer to Pig's, his Researcher eyes trying to pierce all secrets out of the little rodent. Although usually fastidious about the state of his clothes, and specially of his lab coat - he didn't like the image of mad-scientist that crumpled, dirty clothes usually brought to the common Observer's mind - for the second time in his life as a scientist he didn't pay attention to the blemish in his otherwise immaculately white lab coat.

 

"What was the last I did to you, little guinea pig? Radiation 42Nw, I think... maybe that with the solution A3P and the little swim you took in the lab moat..."

 

He was still muttering softly to himself when he registered a hissing sound and something like a claw poking his shoulder. He pocketed Guinea Pig into his lab coat's breast pocket, and examined Wyvern from horns to feet. The way the scales glinted fascinated him, and it was just half of his mind that paid any attention at all to Wyvern's words. Most of his brain was actually busy analyzing the quality of the reflected light and how the scales fit together, and what that powdery aspect could actually be. When he heard something about "horns", his eyes focused on those pointed appendices on top of the head of his test subject, and he immediately took a magnifying glass from one of his lab coat's pockets.

 

"Horns.. yes, definitely horns... "

 

As Wyvern points to Guinea Pig (who at this point is clutching is paws at the rim of The Researcher's pocket and peeking out fearfully) and mentions something broken, producing also a sheet of paper, Professor Hassium produces a small hammer from yet another pocket and taps Wyvern's horn, making mental notes about solidity and echoing sound shifts.

 

"Oh thanks, you're a helpful test subject actually". Professor Hassium takes the rolled sheet of paper from Wyvern's claw, puts the hammer on the extended one, and picks a pencil to take notes on the back of the paper.

 

"Hmmm.... need samples... a talking giant lizard who obviously suffers from some phonetic trouble..."

 

He rummages a bit on another of his pockets without taking his eyes from Wyvern, and gets a small scalpel. "Definitely need samples. You wouldn't like to come with me to my lab, would you young lizard?" He grinned winningly. "I'm sure that my assistant might have something of that geld you keep mentioning."

 

A small part of his busy brain opened a file named "geld" on his memory, and with it came the tag "philosopher's stone"; he nodded to himself, remembering Radioactive Vault 2 and some molten metal bits that resulted from a failed experiment.

 

 

His musings, and Wyvern's somewhat lost expression, are suddenly interrupted by a series of events. The attentive researcher's mind actually registered each action, though he wouldn't be able to think about those before remembering them consciously.

 

A tiny skeleton. An owl disappearing, a young man flattening himself onto the ground. A shadow disappearing... and loud noise.

 

Professor Hassium gasped in surprise as a tangerine hit him squarely on the chest, and he heard Pig squeal as the fruit missed the rodent's head by a scant centimeter.

Edited by TheResearcher
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Blby's body lengthened at all the stimulus. First there was the fascinating appearance of Pig and the freeing from the green scary. The fall! An OWL! The grabbing of Pig by the researcher and now tangerine guns wielded by a rat!

 

Timing was complex. Which had happened first? What was happening now? Terror? Or excitement? Both! And would the tangerine still be edible after it was shot. Wouldn't want to waste a good tangerine if he could help it. TOO MANY PEOPLE! but ... but.... Blby was torn.

 

Finally he leaned towards Pig "eep EEep eepeep?"

 

One just must get out of the crowd.

 

 

AND GRABBED.

 

UNDER TABLE!

 

rUN RuN! MOVING.

 

Safer. Now? Well, someone should help Pig. It wasn't in his nature. But he'd be nice to have around. Besides there was a rat out there with a gun. It wasn't scared. Maybe he, Blby could do it? At least he could move quietly and speak in a language the humans wouldn't know. He approached Death of Rats' table. "Squeaak?" One's rat was a little rusty, but maybe he would understand. He iddn't seem to be a normal rat in the slightest, but if he was any sort of rat he might feel a kinship. "Squeak sqqqueakkk? sQUEak, SqueAk!"

 

One wanted an answer, but one couldn't wait for one. Bartleby darted at the Researcher. The shoes were shiny and wouldn't work but NIP Bartleby nipped a nearby ankle. There! Now completely out of courage he ran from the crowd, ran from his boldness. Ran back under the table!

Edited by Blby
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Mynx rested her back against the wall and observed the mayhem that was taking place with her MageSight. It was an intriguing effect, watching the shadows of those she recognised interacting with those that didn't, the blurring of figures tumbling and tripping over each other, the familiar voices of Pennites mixing with those of the newcomers...

It was almost enough to give a cat a headache.

Chuckling to herself at the familiar sound of Wyvern bargaining, Mynx felt a brush against her side and glanced down to find a familiar wolf at her side.

::Enjoying the madness, Kitty?:: Tanny's mind voice carried her amusement.

"It's nice to know some things never change even when the numbers do," Mynx murmered back to her friend who chuckled in her mind.

::We don't need to keep an eye on you to make sure you don't go Guinea Pig hunting, do we?::

"Please," Mynx snorted. "I don't eat anything that speaks and has a mind for its own. Not anymore, anyway." the feline's face creased slightly in a frown at the memory that suggested to Tanny she'd better not push the matter.

Mynx's attention was drawn when she noticed one of the newcomers - Bartleby? - dash under a nearby table to hide from the ruckus.

::Poor thing, he seems shy,:: Tanny observed.

"Quite," Mynx noticed that no one was sitting at the table currently serving as a fortress and smiled to herself.

"How about a drink, Wuffie?"

::?::

"Just lose the fur coat and follow me."

Laughing, Tanny shimmered into her human form and followed Mynx as the feline moved towards the table. Sitting down facing one another, the pair feigned ignorance that Bartleby was hiding between their chairs while Mynx conjured drinks for herself and Tanny.

Mynx looked away for a moment as if thinking, and moments later a kitten minion scampered up the back of her robe and onto the table.

"Why don't you go and keep our new friend company?" Mynx suggested to the minion. The kitten - adorably cute as ever - bowed its head and jumped off the table, only to crawl under it and bound up to Bartleby. Slightly startled at the appearance of the kitten, for a moment he could only stare as the thing looked at him with wide grey eyes, before it uttered a small "Mew?"

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Tanny smiled hearing that mewing, for the kitten minion were really cute. Though she knew also that they could be dangerous, and hoped that Mynx had all of them well trained.

 

Mynx seemed to pick that thought, and frowned at ther. Tanny had the grace of blushing - well, she knew Mynx well enough by now to be sure she wouldn't let the minions harm anyone or anything she herself wouldn't.

 

"So, kitty... what do we do now?" She whispered, stiffling a giggling as she felt something brush against her legs under the table. It seems Bartleby is a bit afraid... She felt then a slight pressure against her legs, and just visualized the small Bartleby scuttling backwards and being stopped by her legs.

 

"Wait and see what happens?" Mynx lifted an eyebrow, still amused by what her Mage Sight revealed.

 

Tanny suddenly remembered that the last she had seen of Ozy, he was ducking under a table. And without a second thought, she stooped to check exactly who and what was brushing against her legs.

 

"Ouch!"

 

Tanny rubbed her head, having banged it against the table when she drew away, startled to have met Bartleby's big eyes staring directly up at her when she had checked under the table. The noise seemed to frighten the small guest even more, and she apologized.

 

"Sorry, I didn't want to startle you... come, how about a small drink with us? I'm sure the others are too distracted among themselves... " she waved a hand to mean the confusion behind them "... to pay attention to two girls and a guest in a quiet table." She smiled, a bit puzzled by all the nervousness she sensed in Bartleby.

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Pig was even more surprised at being able to understand Professor Hassium's words than he had been at hearing himself speak. He didn't have time to think further on it though as he was shoved into the tainted lab coat's pocket. At least it was nice and warm and cozy in here. All sounds were muffled by the coat pocket and he heard only murmurs of what was going on outside. Then came a deafening bang and the sweet smell of tangerines. As any self-conscious guinea pig would have done when presented with such delicious food in a nice warm place, while feeling as safe as he had ever felt, Pig started licking at the sides of the pocket where the orange substance was slowly starting to seep through.

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Blby seemed to hesitate, possibly scared by all the noise and the presence of the minion who was still sniffing him in a very curious and friendly manner. Tanny looked around to be sure everything else was relatively alright - she would hate to have to rescue Wyvern from a dissecting table, for example.

 

She looked at Mynx, who seemed also puzzled by Blby but had already conjured something for him to drink. Pig seemed rather comfortable in The Researcher's pocket, licking at tangerine remnants.

 

"Hmm... Kitty, maybe we need someone who understands these little guys better than us..."

 

"Someone who doesn't naturally eat them, you mean?" She grinned, chuckling and looking at Patham, still sprawled on the floor and apparently trying to decide whether he'd be safer there or as an owl.

 

"More or less... " She also grinned, and deftly picked a thread of Earth to facilitate communication with her friend.

 

::Stephen? Stephen, stop smoking - I can sense that smell even from a simple Earth link!::

 

She wrinkled her nose, disgusted at the sensed smell of Stephen's malodorous cigarettes.

 

::Those will end up killing you - not the least because some beast will think you're trying to poison it.::

 

All she had back for the moment - strangely - was an amused chuckling, and something she wasn't quite sure what was meant - her friend gave her a generally dizzy sensation.

 

::Please, can you come to the Cabaret Room? I think you might help us... it's a bit... messy around here... are you alright, Stephen?::

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Dark and comforting. One can regain one's thoughts under here. But WHAT is that? It's coming it's coming it's a cat! Well, a small cat. Not grownup, buT NOT WHAT I NEED. If it's a normal cat it won't understand human or guinea pig. Try both? "Cat, this is my hiding place. Don't even TRY to eat me. I'm tough. EEEEEEEEk, don't come near eeeek!" Run behind chair. Stop. Try again in guinea pig. "EeeEEpp plurrrrr, eep, plurreE, plurr plurrrr* eEEK." It's approaching again! backupbackupbackup!

 

WHO'S that! OH. OHOHOH! Oh, now she's gone again. I didn't mean to freak out. She was just being friendly, but she did shock me with the l oud noise and the face suddenly! OH!

 

Okay, she's back and she's talking. It's time to act like a human and not a small furry. (Particularly since t he other small furries aren't answering! gr!) And remember how strong the drink is on such a small being.

 

"Thanks for the drink. Is it this crazy normally?"

 

 

*trying to approximate a purring guinea pig

Edited by Blby
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