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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Promoting Bacteria


Gwaihir

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As soon as Patrick walked in the room Gwaihir addressed him, almost growling. "This talking to bacteria thing is almost impossible. And there I thought it would be such a brilliant idea when you suggested it. The problem is they live so fast. It's not that they don't think, it's that by the time I've said "hello" they've composed twenty speeches."

 

"Umm, it was just an idea" Patrick said.

 

Gwaihir went on as if Patrick had not spoken. "I have twenty Wiggly Cabbages and two roses working on the translations for me and we're still not fast enough for these bacteria. Each generation tells the next one to expect a slow message from a human and time I speak to these things, it's a new group!"

 

"Perhaps you should take a break?"

 

"I don't have time for a break", By now Gwaihir was almost squealing. "This so important and I'm getting behind."

 

Patrick took a step back and began to look for a way to leave this conversation.

 

Suddenly Gwaihir took a step backwards from his table and fell backwards onto Patrick.

 

"OOf, are you alright?" Patrick asked, puzzled. He tried to politely push the ungainly elf off of him and wondered what had caused that!

 

"I give up" Gwaihir panted as he finally pulled himself up. The bacteria have refused to communicate any more with humanoids because we are too dull for them. Their congress has ruled to cut off all funds for the project because it says that it is foolish to try to communicate with one's planet. We have been classified as incapable of advanced reasoning of any sort!"

 

This conversation was getting more and more unreal, Patrick thought. "Ummm, I'm sorry."

 

"Oh no, I have learned a lot from this. You deserve credit and in fact I hereby promote you! You are a active member and a deserving person. However, my work on bacteria is simply finished. I'm off to go give Wyvern back his anti-bacteria solution. It's what I've been using to promote their growth. Maybe he wants to sell it now."

 

Patrick blinked as Gwaihir picked up the solution and jogged out...right into the closed door.

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