The Fabulous Return of a Fabulous Game!

[Vlad]

Snow was slowly falling outside of the Cabaret Room. Most pennites were sitting around, idly chatting. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Peredhil, being the polite mage that he is, gladly got up and welcomed Vlad in from the cold outside.

 

After a few murmured greetings, Vlad made his way to the stage and waited for everyone's attention. Eventually the chatter died down, And Vlad began his announcement.

 

"I have travelled far and wide in search of a valuable item. Many of you are familiar with it, some unfortunately are not. Many here remember an old war known simply as the great war. It dates back to the time before Armageddon. This war was done for the pleausre of some gods, but the specifics of it are not why I stand before you today.

 

"During the war, many mages gathered together for the possesion of a rare and valuable item. I am proud to say that I have recovered it from the ruins which are left."

 

A soft chatter rises up in the audince, most are wondering what the vampire could have found. A few of the Elders think they know what is about to happen, so they take a step back in unison. Vlad waits for the chatter to stop once more before continuing.

 

"The item which I have found is fabled in many worlds. Many have died in their quest for it. It is of course, the Nimball!!!"

 

Having finsihed talking, a great uproar of disbelief strangled the onlookers. Vlad, however, reached into his cloak and pulled out the legendary Nimball. His success was short-lived because as soon as they saw it, over a dozen people jumped up and tackled the vampire. Vlad instinctively tossed the Nimball into the air where it was caught by ...

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

So now a bunch of you are wondering what the heck a Nimball is.

The answer is quite simple really. A Nimball is the cause for an extremely addictive, fast-paced, and usually bloody game.

Rules and Explanations

[Savage Dragon]

...Caught by Savage Dragon

 

He was running and laughing; this was great he had the Nimball™

 

Wait was a Nimball™?

 

He had to stop for a minute to think about this; he'd heard stories abut them before. They involved this little ball, the Nimball™, and you tried to get it and after you got, um you tried to keep people from catching you cause um they had a tendency to... beat the holy crap... out... of... you.

 

HOLY CRAP

 

He started running again. He could hear people catching up to him, he was sure he recognized some of those voices; they were the voices of some of the elders.

 

He stopped.

 

Elders? Ha, he could take the elders any day after all he was Savage, he was a dragon, and he turned to face them.

 

They had pitchforks

 

Running again, I was not built to run like this. Heck I wasn’t built to run at all.

 

Still, I was winning I could hear a few of the elders collapse; they weren’t as fit as they used to be. He could hear them every now and then tripping over stray roots, never to rise again. Well, I guess that’s why they’re called elders.

 

It wasn't long before there were only a few still following him. He could take a few elders, any day.

 

He stopped

 

Let them come, even if they had pitchforks. He was a dragon, he was Savage, and he turned to face them.

 

They had torches

 

Running again, well this Nimball™ sure as hell wasn’t worth it. Not if he was going to get burned again. Better bury it.

 

Setting the Nimball™ down by a bush, Savage Dragon begins digging a hole. I don't know why but I love digging holes. Get thru the topsoil, into the clay, feel the earth rumbling between your toes.

 

Rumbling?

 

Picking myself off the ground, I look around, cool underground passage, probably really old

 

What about the Nimball™? Ah hell, some one will find, I'm going to explore this passage. I wonder who will find it...

:dragon4:

Edited February 3, 2004 by MeThinksUFoolish

[Quincunx]

Minta zipped out from behind the shoutbox Recliner™ and skidded to a halt before diving under the carpet. She pulled a toolbox out of nowhere, found a wrench and a couple of bolts and a jar of honey in some of her pockets, and tinkered together a spyglass. . .

 

"NIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMY!"

 

She leaped into the fray, whacking people aside with the spyglass and cutting a gnomie-sized swath of bruised shins in the Pen population. Super pixystix-fueled speed propelled her to the front of the pack, and she seized the Nimball™ to her chest with a big squishy hug. A small *glip* could be heard every so often as Nim tried to inhale, but Minta (eyes wide as dinner plates and nearly comically heart-shaped with happiness) only squished some more. About a third of the pack paused to murmur "awwwwwwwwwwwwww. . .how cute." The other two-thirds leaped variously over the hole into which Savage Dragon had disappeared. The sun eclipsed behind their great numbers.

 

A living tsunami of rabid Nimball players crashed into shore with a sickening CRUNCH.

 

Amid groans of pain and pulped lower extremities, Minta popped up to ride atop somebody's shoulders, mysteriously unhurt as usual. . .but sulking at top volume because both the spyglass AND the Nimmy were gone! The Nimball™ had popped out of her grip during the tumult and landed in the loving embrace of. . .

[Wyvern]

... an Almost Dragonic Brand Nimball Embracer™, complete with "loving" supplement ®.

 

Clinging to the circular, transparent purple device that now contains the Nimball™ and caressing it with his trembling scaly hands, Wyvern casts frantic glances in several directions to make sure he's not about to be tackled. Unsteadily maintaining his composure and quickly flashing a nervous grin towards the camera that Bravery the Elder Dwarf is holding, the reptilian Elder hisses:

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, today you are witnessing a moment that will go down in history. With my brand new patented Almost Dragonic Brand Nimball Embracer™, I can hold the Nimball™ without fear of it's destructive tendencies. As you can see, the device is shaped in the form of a human spleen, and supplements blood and gangrene for-"

 

Wyvern stops and freezes as he suddenly finds himself surrounded by Nimball-crazed, blunt-object-weilding pen members. At the same time, the ground begins to tremble as a bloodthirsty troglyodyte rugby team stampedes directly over Savage Dragon and floods out of the underground passage that he created. Wyvern jitters and stutters as he notices smoke and electric shocks beginning to exit his machine, and trembles as it begins to grow hot in his hands. The overgrown lizard just has time to mutter "I knew I shouldn't have used imp spleens..." as the contraption explodes in an enormous blast, knocking the pen members surrounding the area back and sending Wyvern flying upward at a 73 degree angle.

 

Bravery quickly knocks out a troglyodyte wearing a sewage-stained number three uniform and flinches as he watches Wyvern collide directly into a pillar holding part of the Pen's roof... which proceeds to come loose and collapses into another pillar, causing a domino effect and crushing a few troglyodytes, as well as poor old Aardvark, in the process.

 

The flaming Nimball™ jets through the air, hurling like a comet towards...

[WrenWind]

Wren tosses her cape in the air putting the fire out and creating a sling for her to carry the Nimball™ in. Instead of running she simply dissapears from sight and reappears in front of the library doors. She figured that the ball should be on display there. Looking up and down the hall she seemed to be alone. She opens the great doors only to be mowed over by the frantic pen members who had guessed right about her whereabouts. The now charred imp spleen covered Nimball™flies up and out the open window into the garden below hitting ________ on the head with a good thump.

Edited February 3, 2004 by WrenWind

[Gwaihir]

Hitting a peace elf who was not seeking it on the head with a good thump. "OUCH" Gwaihir said and crumpled to the ground, but all the same he grabbed at it. 'Yeck, what is this thing, it's covered in...animal matter of some sort.'

Here the crowd of people who were all obsessively seeking the Nimball™ began to descend upon the confused and headache filled elf. He shrugged and stumbled off to the bathroom. "That crowd is giving me a headache and maybe after I wash off this messy thing I'll know what it is. Struggling the Nimball™ resisted being cleaned, but Gwaihir was a curious fellow, so the two wills fought as he made his way to the bathroom, horde following.

It might have gone well, but suddenly as Gwaihir entered the bathroom, the sight of water and the idea of having the spleen washed off of it sent the ball gave a violent jerk and the normally clumsy elf was thrown totally off balance. *crash* he lurched and fell draped across the bathroom. Swoosh the Nimball™ slid out of his hands, but it was not caught yet. It wanted revenge first, so it catapulted across the floor towards Gwaihir. He yelped and jumped onto the toilet....or would have if the seat had been closed. As it was, he jammed his feet into the hole, bruised his legs. There was not room to stand up straight and his feet were stuck, so he fell over backwards and managed to knock his head out on the bathroom. Satisfied, the Nimball™ began to bang on the closed bathroom door, because it was ready to be let out.

[Valdar and Astralis]

The door immedetly opened, and death swept into the toilet majesticly. Or would have, if he hadn't been in the direct path of the Nimball going in the opposite direction at waist height.

 

"OHH" (Thump, Bang, Crash, went the coffins, spilling their grisly contents into the night)

 

Floored, Death swung it's scythe wildly at the escaping Nimball, narrowly missing Gwaihir's very white face.

 

The spectre got up slowly, and turned to the swarm of Magi after the ball, then back to Gwaihr.

 

"MY APOLAGIES, YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO HAVE SEEN A LIZARD AROUND HERE, WOULD YOU?"

 

A squeak and twitched finger was all the awnser he needed.

 

"WHY AM I NOT SUPRISED?"

 

Death turned, and stalked back towards the crowd, which was cheerfully demolishing a small town hot on the heels of. . .

[HawkAngel]

HawkAngel....who had just stepped out from Hell for the first time in a good long time and found himself holding the Nimball, which was as usual completely idle.

 

'Man, first Hell for 3 years with no available exit, and now I come back into the middle of a game of Nimball[tm]?'' he groaned.

 

Taking to his heels he sped off towards the nearest object he could see, a rather overgrown statute of a giagantic turtle. As he passed through a nearby village he was overwhelmed by a feeling of complete deja vu. Not paying any attention he tripped headlong over a very familiar looking imp. The Nimball[tm] flew forward at tremendous speed off into the woods.

 

'Great, Hell for 3 years, a game of Nimball[tm], where I lose the Nimball[tm] not 5 minutes after getting it, and there's no tavern in this village to quench this 3 year parched throat.....'

Edited February 4, 2004 by HawkAngel

[Peredhil]

Guido burst into Peredhil's study, and began shouting, DAR'S UH MAN A TERRA AT DA PEN!!!

 

Glancing up, Peredhil replied, Of course, a Sexy Sexy Man of Terra, Orlan is at the -

 

Interrupting, the Giant Guinea Pig interjected, "Naw, its not Orlan! And der playin' dat -"

 

Standing to admonish his Bodyguard for so Rudely shouting and interrupting, Peredhil finds himself automatically catching the small purple three-eyed Mage as he flies in through the window, and the two finish in one horrified breath,

 

"NIMBALL™!"

 

Loyal Bodyguard that he is, Guido throws himself at his boss, just as his twin, Nuncio, bursts in the door. Seeing the Nimball™ in the room, Nuncio's well-honed protective instincts kick into action and he throws himself at Peredhil protectively as well.

 

Peredhil ducks, the Guinea Pigs collide with a sickening smack in the air over him, and in a frozen moment of time, all eyes widen as the knowledge of physics reasserts itself in their minds and they realize where six-hundred-and-nine pounds of Giant Guinea Pig is going to fall.

 

Time reasserts itself and the Bodyguards fall onto Peredhil, desk, and chair, with the sounds of splintering and crackling wood and bones. One half-elven arm still is visible through the pile of pigs, holding the Nimball™, who now wears Nuncio's black fedora.

 

The wave of players sweep into the study, unchecked by the normal rules of Politeness and leap for Nimball™. Also colliding.

 

The heap grows, with the Nimball™ being jostled and bounced ever higher, until in a savage display of inhuman strength, the Bodyguards at the almost bottom of the pile THRUST up off Peredhil and send everyone flying.

 

Players shower to the left, right, and center. The revealed Peredhil, as his Ring begins a healing blue glow, weakly whispers, "Welcome Hawk Angel... Ole Peculiar on tab in the Cabaret barroom..."

 

The Nimball™, having been at the top of the pile, rockets out the window with great velocity, still wearing the hat, and lands on..."

[Sorciere]

Sorciere's plate of leftover birthday cake as she strolls to a quiet spot in the grounds. Book under her arm and Nimball™ now firmly planted in front of her, she stares with bewilderment at this thing that destroyed her lunch.

 

In the distance Sorciere hears thunder and turns around to see an army of pen members all heading in her direction and she finally realizes what is going on.

 

Dropping her book she grabs the Nimball™ with both hands and makes for the nearest door. Unfortunatly, her robe betrays her and she trips just as she reaches the step, catching her head firmly on the stone edging.

 

Before losing conciousness her last recollection is the Nimball™ flying out of her hands and bouncing off the door. Covered in spleen, wearing a fedora and sporting a rather attractive cake frosting beard, the Nimball™ rebounds off the door in the direction of........

[Vlad]

...the fountain of youth. Not the real fountain of youth, mind you, but an artistic imitation set up in the center of the Pen. The real fountain of youth was made of stone, and unfortunately this copy was just cheap plastic. The entire contraption collapsed from the force of the Nimball hitting it, while the hazard to all life on this planet flew off in another direction.

 

Vlad was the lucky pennite to get hit in the gut. The gods must be smiling upon me, he thought. I've gotten this accursed thing twice already. After getting back to his feet, the vampire rushed off to try an consolidate his gains, but instead felt a strong arm grab him by the foot. Vlad tumbled forward, and cursed himself after dropping the Nimball.

 

After clearing his head, he looked up and saw a figure running directly away from him. After some examination, he recognized the anterior as that of ...

[HappyBuddha]

...HappyBuddha, who happened to drop by just in time for a game of Nimball! Although in truth, it has become more of a game of HappyBuddha for the Nimball, which is delighted to find the gargantuan bulk of HappyBuddha in it's hands*.

 

The Nimball remains passive for a couple of seconds, entertained by the spectacle of HappyBuddha shaking the earth as he flees, causing the mass of pursuers to fall down, unable to keep up. Then it grows bored....

 

HappyBuddha was on top of the world - hehadtheNimballohcraprunI'montopyay! - but suddenly he was confronted with the unlikely spectacle of something .stopping him! He looked down, only to see his gargantuan bulk hung up on the small, but very destructive Nimball.

 

The Nimball paused to enjoy HappyBuddha's utterly bewildered look, then rockets back in the direction they came from, dragging the gargantuan bulk of HappyBuddha along with it. They fly backward, HappyBuddha gasping for air, and then part of Buddha's blubber touches the ground, causing a nasty rent to be dragged behind his flying bulk. Soon enough they crash into the Pen members, who had just regained their feet too.

 

The Nimball, giddy with glee at it's use of HappyBuddha as a bowling ball against the Pen member pins, ducks out from beneath the bulk of HappyBuddha and flies off. It forgets to look at where it's going, unfortunately, and lands right in the hands of...

 

 

* Technically the Nimball was in Happy's hands, but to the Nimball, it's all a matter of perception.

[Savage Dragon]

Savage Dragon smiled to himself, with his foot planted firmly on top of the Nimball™, watching HappyBuddha wrestle with the Fakeball™. Didn't the guy know how to type "™"?

 

OOC: Check the rules everyone

 

Savage Dragon probably would have come up with some clever thing to say to HappyBuddha, had he not felt a sudden tug on his shoe. Dreading it with every fiber of his being, Savage Dragon looked down. The Nimball™ had tied itself to his shoe using his shoelaces. "Hey, Get Off", he said picking up his foot and shaking it. Unfortunately Savage Dragon's balance had not entirely recovered from his earlier encounter with the Nimball™, being run over by a mob of riley rugby players will do that to you, and he fell over, hitting his head squarely on a large rock. He remained conscious just long enough to see the Nimball™ roll off, still tied to his shoe, still covered in spleen, still wearing that hat, and still sporting a delicious icing beard, until it was scooped up by none other than...

:dragon4:

[Quincunx]

(Precisely 0.9 miles away. . .)

 

BLAST

 

Tzimfemme was kneeling not too far from the Pen boundaries, knotting around her ankles some leather laces which supported an egregious set of bone spurs. There was ass-kicking to be done, and by gum it was going to be done with style. Also seemed like it would be occuring in an unanticipated solar eclipse. . . .Tzimfemme looked upwards. Her opinion of HappyBuddha lost months of progress, as it fell about as fast as he did.

 

SPLAT

 

It fell faster than she dodged, also.

 

Tzimfemme wriggled sideways between two rolls of HappyBuddha's skin and the ground and eventually popped free. Bruised and comically flattened, she reinflated, popped open a mini-portal, extracted her flail, and whipped it around a few times in annoyance. Bonds sliced open on the fake Nimball (no tm), revealing an. . .imp.

 

Out from another mini-portal came Familiars of Terra, another forgotten and dusty tome*. She flicked through the pages, ignoring the gentle aftershocks of HappyBuddha's landing, reading aloud, "IMPS: Binky, see also Blinky, Drinky, Slinky, and Wyvy the Almost Imp. . .well this is no good. . .wait. . .'William Jefferson'. . ." She hadn't cut off the imp's gag yet but it could nod, and did.

 

"Holy hell. You're kidding. You're not," Tzimfemme babbled. She shoved the book carelessly behind her, and a portal opened up beneath it as it fell. Briefly, the inside of the portal showed the Nimball™ parting ways with Savage Dragon's foot, then it rolled out of the frame. . .

 

 

*Tzimfemme more often searched her laboratory library for the Ager Guilded Book of Indiscretions or Men of Terra Magazine, Lickable Chocolate Edition for some light reading.

[Solivagus]

And into Heinrich "the mad"'s lap. Giggling under his breath he prodded it with a gnarled finger, waiting for it to do something. Behind him he heard the rumble of thunder. "You do that?" The Nimball™ quivvered slightly in what he assumed to be a no. Hastily he turned round...and saw almost all of The Pen bearing down on him. His mouth grinned widely as they drew nearer.

 

"You'll feel my power!"

 

Quickly he aimed his Staff at them and they were assaulted by a hail of fire. At least, what would have been a hail of fire if it hadn't turned into a heavy downpour of roses. Hastily he scooped up the Nimball™ so he could study it later and ran off, before falling on his face due to his bootlaces being tied together.

 

With a scrambled yell he managed to keep hold of his Staff under the deluge of Pen members, but the Nimball™ slipped from his hand. With one final desperate wave of his Staff he changed all of the roses that had landed into Nimballs, hiding the true Nimball™ from easy sight...

[Wyvern]

...until Silly, the daringly clever orangutan Elder Dwarf of the Pen is Mightier then the Sword, swoops down from a tree branch by his tail and skillfully plucks the true Nimball™ from amidst the masses of replicas sailing through the air. Pawing the Nimball™ gleefully and adjusting the hat that rests upon it's spleen toupee, the mastermind orangutan grins and sticks his tongue out at Heinrich before reaching for an escape vine and swiftly making a beautiful getaway. The orangutan skillfully glides through the air, performing a number of acrobatic maneuvers in order to dodge what could probably be considered the more menacing, mob-oriented cousin of Meteor Storms. He relaxes and yawns as he performs yet another triple somersault backflip on the vine in order to dodge five incoming fake Nimballs, catching the true Nimball™ on the tip of his nose just as he completes the maneuver. Grinning broadly towards those that are having difficulties with the Nimball Storm below him, the orangutan proceeds to whip out a plain white sign and a black marker with his spare hand. The orangutan then clenches the marker between his teeth and leans forward, jotting "Hahaha" onto the sign through the use of head movements while still balancing the Nimball™ there and swinging on the vine. Unfortunatly, this remarkable feat is cut short as Silly forgets to pay attention to the direction that the vine is swinging in, and is sent flying face first into an adjacent treetrunk.

 

Collapsing off of the tree and landing onto the crater-riddled terrain where the rest of the Nimball™-crazed pennites play, Silly painfully jumps to his feet and dizzily clings to the Nimball™ for dear life. Noticing several Pen members sprinting towards him in the hopes of creating a collective tackle, the Elder Dwarf frantically takes out several large signs and rapidly scribbles "Get back!," "Back, back I say!" and "Arrrgghl!" onto them. He then lifts the signs and proceeds to bash people over the head with them in order to knock them back, finding still more pen members advancing on him after he's used them up. Scratching his furry chin and tucking the Nimball™ under his left armpit, the orangutan decides that it's time for an alternative plan of action...

 

Quickly turning from the approaching onslaught of pennites in the hopes of high-tailing it, Silly's jaw drops as he finds the entire front lineup of a troglyodyte rugby team directly behind him. The orangutan thinks fast, quickly recalling the famous words used in training by one of his heroes, Diddy Kong a.k.a Donkey Kong Jr.: "if you jump onto the enemies heads without touching the ground, you get a 1-up!" Clenching his teeth and noticing another huge barrage of Nimballs raining from the sky, Silly quickly scrawls "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" onto a sign and tosses it into the air before jumping and bouncing onto a trogylodyte frontman's head. Ricocheting off of a troglyodyte in a number 7 uniform, he then proceeds to bounce onto another troglyodyte head, and another, and another... Eventually, Silly bounces off of a particularly sensitive troglyodyte and is sent flying high into the air. The orangutan happily soars over a high fence that happens to be nearby while still desperatly clinging to the Nimball™, crash landing on the other side of the barrier. Noticing that he's now safe from attackers due to the fence blocking their path, Silly jumps up and down in glee and sticks his tongue out to those on the other side. The orangutan then turns in the opposite direction... only to find that he's in a kennel for famished hunting hounds.

 

Slapping himself on the face a few times to make sure he isn't having a nightmare, Silly frantically scrawls "OH @#$#$!!!" onto a sign while quickly opening the gates from the interior of the fence in order to escape. Rapidly running out of the kennel, Silly accidentally lets the hunting dogs loose in the process. The hounds bark after their potential orangutan dinner for a moment, but then stop short as they notice the numerous fake Nimballs falling from the sky. Mistaking the balls for chew toys, the hounds immediatly lose their mean streak and rush towards the pen members in a playful mood. At the same time, two angry noblemen run outside of their mansion after the escaping dogs, brandishing shotguns to deal with any intruders on their property.

 

Somehow, in the midst of all of this insanity, Silly manages to escape from the chaos with the Nimball™ still tucked tightly under his arm. Running off from the havoc and reaching a secluded forest grove, the orangutan finally pauses to catch his breath. Breathing a sigh of relief, the Elder Dwarf brushes the sweat from his furry forehead and proceeds to bump into an unexpected figure, dropping the Nimball™ in the process...