The Death of Rats

Ah. Out of the poem. Extreme impatient feeling, it evokes, to a reckless AND irresponsible level. Rather neatly conveys someone who is/is about to do something very ill-advised, maybe even dangerous. Nope. Other than it's much longer, it flows with the rest (perhaps more lyrically than poetically, but still). , however reads like it could be cut out entirely and not interrupt the poem at all. Does *that* line have any deeper meaning?

Some things that occuredto me while reading: Love the fact that I was drinkig caramel while reading a poem about irresponsibilty. You labeled the line above it as being hateful; but "for the cheesyness"...? Gwuh?? MAN this poem pulled recklessness and irresponsbility out for me immediately. Well played Sir! Or Ma'am! Or plant...thing...wiht a home computer...

Haiku= ultimate stream of consciousness poetry style, methinks. Good stuff. Write more.

Oh yes indeed. Doesn't Mary Jane get et? Good times, man. Good times. Try also: Batman: Dead End. Dude looks exactly as Batman should.

Meanwhile, The Grim Squeaker can be seen hustling some very confused green alligators, long-necked geese, some humpty-backed camels, and some chimpanzees down the hall, toward his kitchen.

Ooh, go with it! That's not just better wording, it's clearer too.

Actually, except for "Spanish flu" interrupting the flow of the emotion and imagery this speaks of and stirs (seriously, get it out of there!), I like this a lot as it is. Very, very evocative of a folk song you might hear in a feudal land somewhere.

Open-ended, eh? Okay... I get a lot of frustration, and being alone (and lonely?) in one's thoughts. The images don't set a clear metaphor for me though; on the contrary, they seem to flit from paralell to paralell, giving no unifying theme to the poem other than doubt and frustration and restlessness (at least, that I can see). That's what screws my head on backwards. Then again, I know, that may be entirely what I put into the reading/listening. Still an enjoyable read and better listen; it's just all too much like always hearing a riddle you can't solve, but never hearing the answer NOT to drive me a little nuts. Keep it up!

(Specifically, Gollum riddling with Bilbo.)

I looked at it that way too, but hit a wall immediately in attempting to add even *one* more line. Of any kind. But who knows? Maybe I can come back to it. I know Gollum's voice was heavily on my mind at the time of writing, maybe that can be another jumping off point... Thanks, again!

Ha! Let's hear it for last minute, hasty titling? (Thanks!)

Caughin coffee huffy toff rounding gently makarov and cheese within the breeze goes pitter pat on little into your shoe around the store until its over shape around your mother goes into the bore again and comes out as something wizzer bang with me to the room upstairs comeplay with me. When.

Coffin Coffee Huffy Toff Foundling Whirligig Spelling Astaroth Mighty Melty Prancing Spider Coughing Selkie Laughing taut Creep

Liked both (ya sing as well as sling a guitar pretty well), but A) yeah, voice gives it more nuance & It'svague enough to be engaging and frustrating at the same time as I wonder about its possible meaning. Seriously, it sounds good read or sung, very pleasing- and I don't get it.

I remember the 'Drip' virus, which did just that to your screen. Melting words also make me think of ink being wiped away by water. i.e newspaper in the rain. Good stuff, Jo.

I like to try and focus on letting my mind wander sometimes. The results tend to be mixed, but interesting. Thanks.

w0000000000t. w00t! (<---l33t owl.)

A tiny, hooded for sat in an impresive display of ketchup and soy sauce stretching from one end of the room to the oter. Scythe propped across its possible shoulder, its tiny toebones folded together, the Grim Squeaker sat and STARED. and STARED. and STARED. and STARED.* Nothing was happening. Still, the tiny form remained absolutely motionless, eyesockets glowing weirdly. It grinned. *Skulls of any sort are remarkably good at this.

Creeping, crawling, diving, trawling, slinking further further in seeking list'ning, chiding, whisp'ring eating all the way til it's full

Deadpool & Wolvie lost their regenration after being infected- the origins of the virus have not yet been revealed (story's STILL going), but it is confirmed to be be agressive enough to have done that, and even infected magical Jabronis like Thor and Hercules. Hulk does not heal either, but still gets stronger- only now it's when he's hungry, not mad. Also highly recommended: Marvel Zombies vs. Army of Darkness. It's got the Necronomicon, Ash, and Howard the Duck. 'nuff said.

*The Death of Rats grins up at her*

*on fire, wanders through the kitchen* Somehow, the scorch mark left on the szignup shete looks like a smarmy, toothy grin. (SO in.)

Craptacular (Crap + Spectacular) adj. Spectacular in crappiness; awe-inspiringly low-quality, or awful, or mean, etc.. See also: Amazingly shitty.

*pokes at Ananel's butterfiles curiously with its scythe* *flails as it is quickly borne to the ground by the suddne angry mob of butterlfies*

*wanders past, wearing a stuffed toy panda skin with Yoohoo stains on it*