Rune

Rune pulls her hand away from the rather cold figure of the man. "Kip!" She squeaks. "I think my cuteness killed him!"

OOC: I am not sure how you guys RP, but this is just to goof off really. I made something up, proof read it once..and posted it. There are ALOT of errors in grammer and spelling, but frankly im trying to avoid noticing them. Wanted to have a bit of fun, and if I stress out over pronouns and adverbs and all that it makes writing tedious at times and I avoid it. This is a way just to sort of write for the heck of writing. If anyone wants to continue the story, feel free to tack on a response. No need to take ownership of a character..if you can only post once thats fine. All that I ask is that you attempt to tie up any loose ends from the previous poster or you keep the previous post situation running. (i.e. dont suddenly warp from a battle to a house and all that good stuff). Dont worry about spelling or grammer, and feel free to have fun with it. ^__^ If no one responds, I will just continue on myself..so dont feel pressured. oh and no the title doesnt make any sense either. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ It was bright and early on Sunday morning when a particularly loud bird decided to make it's existance known to the inhabitants of the pen keep's northwest tower. Rune had stumbled upon a discarded moving crate that was filled with packing straw and after having slain the blood thristy troll that had taken up residence in the very back of the crate and the countless other adventures her imagination had came up with she had settled into the mini theatre of her mind for the night. Her plans were to sleep in until at least noon so that she could stay up to hear the late night readings in the Banquet Room. The bird appeared to have a different idea in mind. It sqawked like mad while sitting in the little arched window to the room. Rune mumbled and proceded to back out of the crate rear first. Her tiny feet appeared from within the crate followed by the rest of her 3 foot self, her head emerging last. Rubbing the sleepiness from her eyes she yawned, then stretched...internally beaming at herself for adding at least another foot onto her height during the exercise and then scowling when she realized it didnt stick. She wondered over to the bird, which surprisingly didnt budge at her approach. "What do you want master bird?" she inquired. The bird cocked it's head to the side at the question. "are you hungry?" the child grew excited at the prospect of discovering on her own what the bird had wanted without any clues. "i can get you some bread, ill be right back." She bounds across the floor of the tower room towards the stairs but stops when the bird begins to violently squawk and then flies into the room. Rune flenches at the mayhem of the flight and waves her arms about. The bird materializes in a cloud of black smoke, slowly forming the outline of a man in the eye of the smoke storm. As the vapors disperse, an older man, clad in crimson robes and supporting himself on a staff of oak, appears. Rune stares wide eyed at the man, then rushes towards him. "Hullo!" she said, brightly. The man glanced at her and opened his mouth as though fixing to talk...but before he could say anything he began to cough. As his body shook from the hacking more black smoke went everywhere, aparently having settled into his clothing and hair it scattered when shook. "Damn smoke" the old man managed to say between hacks.

hehehe

You know these things are kind of hypnotic..in their own multicolored way.

*buries Kasmandre under a pile of :wigglycabbage:*

:wigglycabbage: :wigglycabbage: :wigglycabbage: :wigglycabbage: :wigglycabbage: :wigglycabbage:

"The air is wrapping around you like a noose." That's a very very effective and image instensive line. I think I actually kind of took another quick breath when I read that just to make sure things were alright and that nothing was trying to get me. Great job Passion! Thank you for sharing.

I have always admired your work Cyril and its always kind of exciting to see another topic started by you. This one is no execption. I will echo the comments of those before me and say that the imagery and symbolism is very intricately done. I also noticed your word choice is unique and often adds to the superior level of the poem. Lines like "throwing songs from their throats" and "And as the morning lost its song" stand out in particular. Could you go into details about the symbolism that is embeded into the piece? I'm sort of curious if it is the same as what I had seen.

Great story Master Silverblade. The symbolism is very nicely done and the imagery is intense without going over my head. Its always a good thing when you can take a reader out of their familiar element and put them into a situation they may not be familiar with and have them still be able to watch the story unfold instead of just reading it through. I also like the symbolism with the ties to the card game and the first two paragraphs are really good. They could almost stand alone as just a sort of statement to the world. Great job, I hope you post more..older or not.

Out of all the different types of roleplaying available..which is your favorite? (examples but not limited to: Table top, Live action, Internet/computer, etc)

Wow those are great, DoomGaze. Welcome to the pen and good luck with that App.

Great poem Vlad. Rune pats Gyrfalcon on the back. I think Hanna is responsible for that mess up. I know that she keeps turning off quotes for poor Gyr, I'm sure she has her hand in this somehow. *chuckles*

Thats clever, comparing life to a movie.. dying to the credits, outtakes to the memories.. well at least thats how I inturpreted it. Great poem, thanks for sharing it!

Well when you do get em written down, be sure to post em!

Everytime I read a poem here I just can't believe how talented you all are. It's amazing Tassle..and I really like the style.

Great poem Vlad, It's so sweet at the end. Thank you for sharing it.

Oh my goodness! That was just too good! You have got to post more Aardvark, I love your writing.

Once again..offering criticism is something I cannot seem to do. My own skills in writing are not well defined and it's obvious that yours are much more advanced. As just an observer there is nothing that stands out that should be noted for change. It's actually kind of neat to read a story that has familiar names involved (granted I only know of one out of the two listed.) Guess it helps to view the character who I've met on a more informal level as a more formal character.

I'm just gonna keep reading it over and over.

Why are you here? I'm here, in fact, because Peredhil had it in his profile..and well frankly im nosey and just clicked on the link. So the real question then is Why did I stay? Mainly cause I like how the pen runs. It's a hard thing to post your emotion in the form of a poem or story and have people critque it. It's even harder when you lack confidence. I see the pen as a way for people to not only display their work but to gain the confidence they need to improve. You cannot improve on something if you do not think you are getting better. *brings back her circle analogy* If you want to practice drawing circles, in truth the 200th circle might not be any better than the first..but because you are concious of the time and effort put into practicing, you believe that it is more perfect. Why do you write? This one is harder. I write because I have alot to say. I write because I can put my feelings into words and reread them several times to ensure that they are what I want to say. I write because my voice falls on deaf ears and I want to be heard. I write to entertain others or to record something of the past. I write because I am but one in a world of millions, and it's my own small way of leaving a mark after I am gone. And I write because once written, words become materialistic and I can hold onto them to help provide support for myself.

I agree that the line breaks make the poem unique and seem to fit it well, which is why I wouldnt recommend changing it. It just might make some have a harder time understanding it. It really depends on what your going for. The style is unique and kind of intriguing once I re-read it a couple of times to get the general idea of the subject of the poem... On the other hand some readers might give up before fulling understanding it. Just something to consider is all.

So true, so true. Always waiting for one thing to be over just to start another. I think I do that every morning... unless its the weekend. Great poem, thanks for sharing!

Such a great poem! When I first started out I was confused and a bit lost, but the end just ties it all together and I sort of laughed at myself (realizing it was suposed to shift gears like it did). This is another one of those 3 emotion reads where your mind is bouncing all over the place so that your almost tired when your done reading it. Great job on the suspense and then pulling it all together. Thank you for sharing it!

Beautiful Rahsash.. just breath taking. Especially the last verse. And the imagery is so intense. I imagined a dark room with a solitary music box on a pedestal. Then a person came out, spoke the words and the images shifted from within the music box looking out to back outside looking in as the poem flowed. Great stuff, Thank you so much for sharing.

Great poem. I think the thing that makes it harder to understand is how it is broken up into lines. Perhaps someone of a more advanced literature background could comment to give a more in dept analysis of what on earth I'm trying to say. It just almost seems like the lines break mid thought..which confuses me. I took it and pasted into notepad and ran it all together to make a paragraph and it made alot more sense when I read it..and I realized its very beautiful. Remember that this is just my opinion. The poem as it stands is unique and complex which gives it a superior intellectual look.. making it simple might not be what you want.