Peredhil

LOL A paean to paranoia! Exits chuckling

This is really good well done. Not only do you express feeling to which many can relate- you do it in an easily readable manner. good job.

Oh! I like! We need more science fictiony stuff.

heh, Makes me want to reread Saberhagen's "Thorn" again...

When I read this, I hear in it my mind as a song. Something like 'six pence none the richer' would sing sorta thing (that's a good thing in my book). I wish I could write the music and send it to you, but it's too quiet to reach the surface. Enjoyable read!

Meep! You do an AABB rhyme scheme every where but ... in the first stanza? I found myself inserting mental commas in lines, but I loved the implicit dry humor you show. This is an ambitious, sweeping piece, but I think it succeeds well with what you set out to do. One question - do you read your works aloud to yourself? I read this and found myself adjusting my syllables to try to fall into rhythms.

Heh, the older I get... Funny how the young think that 'sexy' can't be a quality of the old... Pavlovian conditioning works wonders over the years. I enjoyed this immensely.

Interesting indeed. I could work SO many of your pieces into a fantasy Role Playing campaign...

For me it started strongly, but something stumbled in the 3rd stanza, and again in the 4th. The 5th picked right back up again (although the meter changed slightly) and carried me home. well... you asked!

Interesting word sketch of an emotion... Monsters from mice? heh, caught my attention with that line and I *had* to continue reading. don't be afraid to use apostrophes! (ones -- one's) -P

Bummer. You should write a follow-up of how the mother felt, what distracted her, and how she either deals with the guilt or lets it destroy her. Might be interesting if she had another child, slightly older at home, and how it would change how she related (withdrew from fear of more pain, smothered to prevent it?) to the child. But it's good as it is - just made me think.

erm. Good questions? Just be a leader, if only of you. choose a path, that's what you do. Pick what looks best, and step out strong Adjust as you go in case you chose wrong. Let not pride keep you in poor way In there eyes? but it's you who will pay. Let those who sneer and decry sit on their thumbs they'd hold you back with them and tell you YOUR dumb. Don't let fear cause you Life's invitation to decline remember pain is an indicator, not a stopsign. Learn from it, adjust to it, step out again If you never give up, eventually you'll win.

Hmm. There's some really clever wordplay and a good concept here, but I kept tripping on changing meter...

heh. Dare to be different! Yes! Have you ever noticed how many of the 'teen rebels' conform so tightly to the unwritten codes of the Outcasts?

Heh, here I am trying to catch up and discover this gem. Why do I picture a '60s Beatnik reciting this, while a groovy girl with no expression beats on a bongo drum. Seriously though, it has a thoughtful message. My choice has always been to risk it - I'd rather live and chance pain than just exist. -P

Very surreal, evokes all sorts of thoughts in me. You have a knack of presenting archetypical canvases for me to paint myself onto...

Very neatly done. I had a neato visual off it - until I derailed at: burning it in sage. it just hung me up. in rage? the wise old sage decided to burn it. broke my flow... other than that line, I liked it bunches.

Heh, I could be naughty if I tried! Everyone looks in disbelief. No really. It just would be Rude so I shouldn't. ducks the thrown popcorn

I had to read this twice, it makes me think. On first pass, I think I read into it. On the second I read what was actually written - and it was better.

I could see this as a preface in a Fantasy piece, perhaps chanted/sung by the shaman of an aborigine tribe... Very anthromorphic. Nice change of pace for you.

1) Gone 2) My Prison 3) Dark Clouds 4) Untitled #1 5) The Poets Dream 6) Shadows 7) Peace. Wish I had more time to elaborate.

Heh. Ancient Peredhil gives her a creaky hug. You can apply to the greedy lizard as many times as you'd like, M'dear.... He cackles as he concludes, But he won't move any faster! (well done! I like them both. )

yeah... There is little new under the sun, and the ripples move constantly - but always downstream.

heh, that's pretty clever! I like it.

Peredhil gleefully hugs each of those promoted, and then hugs Ozymandias for doing the Lore Master thang, then hugs everyone else. Rah!