Gwaihir

Reworked so I figured I'd post it again Words Like Rain I wish your angry words would pour like rain It’s silence after, not the words that hurt Knowing you feel too sad right now to heal Your anger sinks beneath a growing chill Trying to punish me that’s not so bad But this freeze isn’t feigned—you just don’t care. I wish your angry words would pour like rain Instead I hear that quiet word "goodbye."

Note: I'm not saying that Madoka intended Sandy to be feeling this way in her story or anything, but this was imagination of his point of view. I wish your angry words would pour on me like rain It’s not the words that hurt—it’s the silence after Seeing your face, not just knowing that I’ve hurt you Knowing you feel too hurt to forgive me right now Your cold expression says the anger’s stayed with you When you’re trying to punish me that’s not so bad As when the pain and disappointment’s natural. I wish your angry words would pour on me like rain Instead I hear a quiet voice saying goodbye.

I don't really like the sound of the word 'details' as the rhyme would, but I love this poem....I always love your stuff, but this is DEFINITELy one of my favorites of yours. There's real meaning and emotion in it.

It is clear that you are in control of the rhythm, meter and emotions portrayed in the poem. This creates a pleasing effect aka I like it : )

I love it!

Welcome back Foe! and yes you get to keep your rank.

Congrats everybody I'm very glad to see you all where you are now. It's deserved.

Myth grimaced as she looked around. It felt as if she had been fighting forever, but there were no fewer zombies than before. She cursed herself for not killing the lady before she could cast that spell. Tons of extra-strong zombies were just what the doctor had not ordered. A skillfully placed thrust and yet another zombie was down, but this wasn't working. Myth knew her breath was beginning to flag, and if she kept this up some stupid zombie would manage to clobber her. It just sucked to feel one had been beaten by moronic dead bodies, Myth complained to herself. She bit her tongue so that the pain would clear her mind. It wasn't the zombies who were trying her strength, Myth realized--it was the lady. That way she didn't have to say she was about to run away from a bunch of brainless corpses. There it was, she paused a second in mid-slash, because she hadn't let herself admit it before--The zombies were just too much, and she was going to have to run away. It wasn't giving up to run away when the only real opponent was dead too Myth told herself. This was all a waste of time and she hadn't even found the stupid pool. Myth fought her way to the edge the clearing and then....vanished. The zombies had no idea where to go and they milled about confused and aggressive, sometimes killing each other since they had no other target. Meanwhile Myth sprinted around a bend in the path and took off the invis spell. She leaned against a tree for a few moments to catch her breath and then she was off like a streak of lightening. Darting through the forest and enjoying her speed. She ran, jumping over the roots that stuck up from the path. Running was fun and it was something she didn't do enough. Myth made a mental note to run more when she finally got home from this god-awful assignment. Myth ran fast....maybe a bit too fast, because suddenly she stopped where the path ended. She certainly hadn't been here before. Myth bit her lip and glared at herself. 'Oh you moronic assassin, you meant to go back to the clearing you camped at, but now you're utterly lost on a stupid magical island that's infested with putrid brainless creatures!' and then she shrugged. It mattered little--by now the others would have left the campsite anyway, and she had no idea where they'd have gone. It didn't really matter where she went now. Myth closed her eyes to randomly pick a direction...it's not as if that really made her lose her sense of direction, but it helped a bit when she was trying to be random. She turned around and then headed off, jogging a few minutes until she heard the leaves crackle beneath her feet. No point keeping her eyes closed and walking into a tree. She opened them only to see a bird woman curled up ahead of her. With her head in her lap the lady seemed to be deeply in thought. She ignored the world. Perfect--one of the other explorers. This seemed a ideal time to pump the bird-gal for information. There was no one around and the scholar had never seemed anything but naive; maybe she would tell Myth something she didn't know.....even if it was only a set of directions. As that last thought occured to the assassin she chuckled dryly and resolved to be more careful not to get lost again. She approached the lady from behind--it was usually worth while to startle people unless they went armed and the Avian didn't. Certainly no need for her to know Myth was somewhat lost.

Happy Birthday And all the best from me!

As an admirer of meter my favorites are in a slightly different order than wyv's, but interestingly we include many of the same poems. I didn't even see Wyv's list when I made mine, either. [edit] I take it all back, Youthful is at the top of my list....and that other one that I read for the first time today. I can't find it now, but I posted a reply in it that said I love this or something like that[/edit] Desert Rose Tornado What? Dark Clouds

"aim…" I can't figure out what word is intended by that.

10, 9, 8

neat! Me too!

Now that's hillarious and a nice play on an old song.

I thought, that if I held you tight enough You couldn’t get away. You’d have to stay, But as I watch Piece By piece you slip away Like Theseus’s ship. I’ve come to understand. I can’t manipulate, I only choose Which parts to lose. A few people I may get to stay in touch with But most of them will slide away. And if I were desperate I could even keep the places I live. A small hollow feeling tells me that wouldn’t help There’s just no way to keep the past.

Gwahere with just the slightest hint of an long i sound after the a if you can manage it.

I love poems that tell a story, particularly when they're hilarious

As far as pens go, I absolutely hate not being able to erase so I have a rule that I won't buy pens which means that I'll only use what I find on the ground. However, I'm almost never without a pen--though I dont' often carry it. So, what I actually use is a mechanical pencil--my handwriting is too messy, so it needs all the help it can get. I use the things up pretty fast, because when I'm not taking notes in class (which is often enough) I'm writing because I'm playing some word game with myself, or I'm improving my left-handed writing.

How cool!!! you captured the tone perfectly. I love the two voices, yours and this critic's. You don't totally make the critic a fool--we can see why he (in the gramatical sense of he) feels the way he does, but we know that he's wrong. You don't just tell us he's wrong; you show us why.

Catchy light and fun pleasant and enjoyable to read

A powerful piece. I always love your care to rhythm, meter and sound. This poem feels like the form helps you not hurts you, which is, to me, the sign of mastery of a form.

I don't think this is meant to be in the assembly room, because I don't think it's just a story.

For a split second both woman stopped, frozen and confused. Myth stared at Y'Tren and wondered. Why had he done that? Sacrifice was not a part of her world, or a concept she could understand. She looked at the former assassin and tried to grasp why he had done that. Had he thought he'd live through it? Probably not, there certainly seemed to be no reason he would. What could he possibly have gained in it? He was a good assassin and an interesting man. It was indeed a shame to lose him. But this was not a time to mourn. There was a mage to kill here. She had no clue how, and it seemed hopeless, but that was no excuse not to try. Myth raised her arm and hurled a dagger. It was perfectly aimed to cover the priestess' robes in gushing blood but *dink* it hit her shield and dropped to the ground. Of course! Myth mentally hit herself on the head. D'oh! She should have known that even a confused magic user would have some sort of residual shield up. But, before Myth could do anything else, Celestia managed to pull herself together. It was time to get rid of this pesky woman...Another force bolt came hurtling. It didn't look as strong as the first, Myth figured Celestia must be tired, but it would have been quite enough to kill a person.....if it had been better aimed. It smashed a pretty hole in the ground a foot away from Myth. Celestia just looked at it. This was wrong. Utterly wrong. Maybe if she had reacted she could have done something, maybe not, but instead she froze. Afraid and baffled. It didn't matter, because she only had a second before Myth was right next to her. The dagger slid smoothly into her side, right under the ribs. Myth smiled--now the robe was red.

Happy Birthday

OOC: Does that belong here better than it seems to, Tass? Hunger's like a lame duck, it'll limp around after you until you feed it.