Matteo

As far as I'm concerned, emotion and intent are the most important aspects of poetry; you've captured both very well. Nice job on your primus poematis!

"So many people so eager to condemn themselves in defence..." Gavin shakes his head in mock sorrow. "If it's credulity in blame you all seek, then take no visible stance! Wait for the authorities to make their judgement! It seams to me that all here take some great offence to being suspect; let me remind you that we are all suspect, regardless of mention. No matter of bantering will change the outcome of the investigation when we are not the investigators. And that in its self warrants further remembrance; we are not detectives!" He enunciated this last statement rigidly and with great emphasis, then pausing for a moment he scans those gathered taking in each face with condemning eyes. "Take no solace in logic, for it was not that that killed our host; but take to it still, for it is the sole foundation to any rational argument and the base on which justice will be resolved. No amount of petty bickering about one's country and its idiosyncrasies will bring any useful persecutory evidence to light. We should not revel in emotion that will only cause more grief." Gavin looks down for a moment, allowing time for his words to chasten the more rigid patrons. "Don't get me wrong, you are all entitled to your judgements and emotions, no death should pass without feeling... "Gavin falters for a moment, "If not out of respect for the family and its loss, then out of respect for those in this gathering that do not betray your twisted sense of righteousness; cease your squabbling!" His face twisted in a contortion of anger and disgrace, he looks to the crowd again, taking time to look each one in the eye before walking off to the hedge maze, focussed on the thoughts that threaten to block out rationality, and with the firm purpose of becoming lost within the maze?s constricting confines. 'How could you let yourself get involved? and emotionally at that! Those bleating sheep have tricked you into action and betrayed your dignity.' Disappointed with his outburst and his obviously failing sense of mind, Gavin lunges himself into the maze.

Thank you, I find myself writting in this sort of style alot... though I lack the inspiration to finish most of my works. I do manage to squeeze a few out now and again though.

There are times I don't give enough credit to short poems, likely because I have a hard time writting them, but this is definately one of those times when credit is due. The repetition of the glass metaphor at the end is a wonderful closer. I like the whole-ness of it, it feels complete.

Wonderfully morbid, and well written. The verse-chorus idea is a cool way of emphasising certain parts of the poem.

"I'd never have wagered that a metaphysical thing could take such a weighty build." Gavin's lips curved ever slightly to form a wry grin. The ill attempt at whit was more to satisfy his odd sense of humour than to inspire laughter; it seamed that he took pleasure in making jokes that only he understood, and found revelry in the fact that indeed none responded. To him, this rather strange idiosyncrasy proved that he was indeed more intelligent than those about him. "This tension could choke a smaller creature." He continued, grinning more openly now. "Excuse me, it must seam as if I have little regard for the situation. I shall try to address all that has been said, but you'll have to afford me time to think." He straightens himself up, and relaxes his features to resemble the obvious concern pained so openly on most other guest's features. "I too share your sentiment Marcus; the chemist worries me. While I'd like not to point a finger without base; it is in he that I find the most rationale for my trepidation." His face wrinkled in a visage of contemplation. "I'd have to observe the behaviour of the other houseguests more thoroughly before I pass any true judgement, but there are few here that I would surmise has the mental and emotional capability to murder." He pauses for a moment then glances back to Katherine, "Then again, I must be wrong; otherwise our host would still be among the living." Gavin brings his hand to his face extending his index finger to rub the itch from his eye. "There are just too many controvertible facts to take into consideration." OOC: Vincent Cuthbert

With polite interest in the sauntering guests, Gavin makes for the manor its self, nodding and providing the appropriate courtesies to those he passes. Though hastened, his step is moderately at ease. His eyes scan the massive abode to which he is en route, pausing briefly on the doors as his gaze lands on the billows of Miss Elisabeth?s dress passing aft the portal. 'I had hoped she'd attend.' The fleeting thought had barely registered in his conscience when his left foot caught the rough edge of a cobblestone, further driving it from his mind. His current gate demanded his continued travel, and his foot was dragged behind by the stone; his right flew out madly in a vane attempt to regain balance, his arms shot out in a wild attempt to grasp at something that was not there as he was driven nearly headlong to the ground at Wetherby's feet. "Oof! By all that is sweet and..." Gavin struggles to his feet as quickly as possible, saving no time for dignity. Only once standing erect once more does he survey the scene, hoping that no one noticed this rather humorous display of public humiliation. "Well done sir, I'll give you a 9.0 for execution, but the landing was less than impressive. Then again... that could have been your intended action..." "Very clever Mr. Wetherby."Gavin straightens his coat and ruffles his cravat, lending only a passing glance to the smug butler before continuing through to the courtyard. His trousers, obviously dirtied in the post snagging events were marshalled clean of their contaminants with a brisk hand before exiting the relative darkness of the manor to the inner courtyard. "Was du hal, my friends?" Smiling dashingly Gavin opens his arms in mock embrace of the gathered patrons. Obviously pleased with his entering comment and confident in its relayed intellect, he moves to the Lady Katherine. Taking up her hand in a flourished bow, Gavin kisses her hand and returns in to her side. "Ah, the lovely Miss Elisabeth, even more beautiful than I remember; radiant as always I see..."

Most criticism fro poetry is purely in convention, alot of the 'getting better' comes from personal progress. There is one thing I'll contribute to convention though; keep a close eye on your metre. You've got the beats right, but they're a bit rushed in some cases. Overall a well written poem though, I enjoyed it thoroughly

Wonderful! The style is interesting, the rhyme scheme is simple enough, but the mold of subject and mood was admirable. A pleasure to read.

A rather lithe gentleman steps from the stagecoach tugging at the base of his coat in a distracted attempt to straighten the stresses and creases of seated travel. As he reaches the cobblestone walk, he pauses for a moment, aware that his every move from this step onward, and indeed his last on exiting the carriage, would be scrutinized by both the socially and financially wealthy patrons of this estate. It is with this in mind that his next few conscious steps are made. "Ah, the wonders of the countryside." His interest is superficial at best and is voiced merely upon catching a passing wind from the stables. Minding the tails of his coat, he stoops to buff the toe of his right shoe with a handkerchief before proceeding to help the remaining ladies from the now relatively empty carriage. "Mind your step M'Lady, the cobbles are not made for ease of travel with such heals as those." His eyes sweep the length of the lady finishing with her footwear; attempting a dashing smile, his gaze returns to her face. 'I must travail to keep from the stables.' He reminds himself, 'I only hope that half-whit brother of mine keeps to himself.'

I guess I'll be a young man named Gavin; well educated, straight out of higher schooling and overconfident. Inteligent enough, but a little bumbly, overall a competant lad. No trade as of yet, though majored in Philosophy, with a minor in English. Sure he could be an older brother to James, hence making his last name Doyle. I think that should do, let me know if you need more.

Happy Birthday bud! Hope it's worth the year's wait

Ah! Belated already?! My best wishes for all the multitudinous years to come.

Sounds awesome... though I may hang back a little, maybe be the last to post on the appropriate times... I'm still not quite sure how this plays out. I'm in though, I'm sure I can figure it out All for the Sherlock Holmes idea, love it!

That tooka while to catch up on... Good stuff though. I'll also be looking to Deg to get the back issues. The whole thing sounds awesome Wyv, the ideas and themes are really cool I just wish I could have been there this far. I'll deffinately tune in when I'm not working