Aardvark Posted June 4, 2003 Report Share Posted June 4, 2003 "But I can't sing." I complained to no avail. "Hon, everyone can sing. Sure, some sing better than others, but everyone sings beautifully in their own way." This devil woman wouldn't take no for an answer. Thanks to my mother, she had complete authority over me. "No, honestly, I can't sing." I tried again "Well, it's not up to you to judge whether or not you can sing. That's my job." Damn, foiled again Choir. Oh, how I'd giggled at those fools in their pansy white dresses, forced to give up their lunchtime and afterschool time for such a pathetic endeavour. Now I was one of them. Stupid rich socialite mother and her need to outdo her neighbour's twin duet. Now I was stuck with this heartless wench who was sure she could make an alto of me, whatever the hell that was. "Now chin up, eyes straight, deep breaths and sing, boy, sing." God, and it was made so much worse by her chirpy attitude and positive outlook on life "I don't want to sing, though. Why do I have to sing? Can't I just be one of the percussion people?" God, anything. At least they got to wear normal clothes "Nononononono, your mother insisted you sing, so that's what you're going to do, young man. Now sing for me." "What do I sing?" Maybe if I stall.... "Anything. Sing anything. I don't care, I just want to hear you sing." "But I don't know anything." Lies, of course, but I'd be damned if I was going to give in to her "You must know something. What about Happy Birthday?" "How does that go?" "Oh, come on, you MUST know Happy Birthday." "Umm.... no. Is that by The Angels?" I didn't even know if the angels were a band, being as musically isolated as I chose to be "Urrgh." Ooooh, this was a good sign. She was beginning to crack. "How can you not know Happy Birthday. You've heard 4 other kids sing it. Didn't you listen to them?" "I was busy blocking my ears and gritting my teeth to hear them." "Oh, you.... OK, what about a nursery rhyme? You've got to know a few of them." "No" "What about Old Mother Hubbard?" "The Scientologist?" "What?" She paused. Oops, why do I let my intelligence slip out like that. "Ok, what about Incy Wincy Spider?" "Impy wimpy what?" "GRRRR." This actually made me jump back. But my scheme was working. Her face was starting to strain. Thank God for the little media brainwashed kiddies who actually wanted to sing. "Ok, fine. Your favourite song. You have to have a favourite song. Just sing your favourite song, I know you have one, so don't try telling me you don't. Now sing your favourite song for me, or I'll call your mother and ask her to get you to sing." At this threat, I grinned. She was calling in her trump card, already. Even if I did sing for her, I'd only have a week before I got kicked out of the choir. "Ok, I'll sing my favourite song." "At last," she sighed in relief, "Ok, in front of the microphone, I want everyone to hear this. I stood before the mic, raised it to my mouth level, cleared my throat, took a deep breath, then remained completely silent "Go on, sing." I remained silent. "You said you would sing, now sing!" I kept my mouth shut Suddenly, it dawned on her. "What's your favourite song?" She asked, almost defeated I answered her openly and honestly "Jasco, by Sepultura," I said, grinning from ear to ear. When my mother found out I'd been put in the percussion group, she wasn't pleased. All this meant was I had to hit Dad up for my pocket money for a month. He didn't mind, infact he doubled it when he heard the story. Within a week, I was once more extra-curricula free and safe from anymore compulsory volunteering. Although, that wasn't the end of the satanic bitch. She'd had a word to the school councilor about me, so I was called out of class a few times and forced to look at ink blots. I didn't mind, I already knew the answers they wanted to hear. And for no reason I could see, a large number of my fellow classmates started listening to metal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted June 5, 2003 Report Share Posted June 5, 2003 Heh. I love reading your short stories, you always manage a twisty mind. Snickers Poor teacher... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayshela Posted June 5, 2003 Report Share Posted June 5, 2003 ohohohohoh! i love it!!! would have been as much as my life was worth to get out of compulsory volunteered stuff, especially that way, but the fun of it might have been worth it! (poor teacher) (snicker, snort) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nobody of Consequence Posted June 5, 2003 Report Share Posted June 5, 2003 This is really good, very tight, very funny. Great job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WrenWind Posted April 26, 2005 Report Share Posted April 26, 2005 Definately worth the read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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