Jareena Faye Posted April 19, 2003 Report Share Posted April 19, 2003 This is where one can post previously composed stories, correct? "Stolen. Every last one of them," said the Father, slumping into his favorite chair with a frown. His Son was also on the porch, and glanced up with the same pensive look of concern. "Where are your creations now, Father?" A hand merely pointed down the road, to the Merchant's shop. Everyone knew of the death the Merchant sold there. The Son bit his lip grimly and declared, "I will go and retrieve them." "No, Son. I gave that shop to my children, who gave it to the Merchant. I will not allow you to simply go and take my creations, no matter how precious they are." "I know," the Son replied, and jumped over the fence rail. "I'll pay for them." The Father watched with tears in his eyes as his son walked bravely into the Merchant's shop. The interior was full of horrors of every kind; deeptively tempting, outright gruesome, inescapably controlling. Each reached to ensnare the Son as he passed, but he stayed out of reach, and they stayed on their shelves. Then the Son's eyes fell upon his Father's creations, scattered amongst the horrors. They were already tainted. "So many," he whipered. Not only the Father's chosen, but every work was immensely precious. "May I help you?" aked the Merchant behind the counter. He grinned maliciously. "Yes," said the Son firmly, though his stomach fluttered. "I have come to buy back my Father's creations." "Now, now! They're here on their own. I never exactly stole th--- Did you say 'buy'?" "Yes." The Merchant grinned wider. Here, he had the most beloved Son of his worst enemy, coming to pay any price. And for something that was already his! "Well, you know, I can't give them to you cheap." "I know." "Given their rarity and unique formation, I think I would have to require... your life blood." The room was deathly silent. The Son did not look surprised. He nodded. It was all the Merchant could do to keep from dancing with glee. The Son would be completely drained. He would die! A deliciously painful blow to the Father! And with the Son dead, no one could take the creations from the shop, anyway. It was as if the Father had planted a gift on the Merchant's doorstep! The deed began. Quietly, trembling, the Son stood still as the Merchant set his wares on the young man. Even the Father's creations joined in, withdrawing more and more blood. The room was filled with the stench and splatter of it. Slowly, the Son's head began to nod, his eyelids heavy. Weakly, he slumped against a toy shelf. Death drew the breath from his lungs, and he lay silent. The Merchant laughed and danced on his wares for joy, trampling them underfoot. They cried in pain, yet cried for more. Grinning in triumph, the Merchant crowed, "I have finally won!" "No." Still soaked in his own blood, the Son slowly rose to his feet. The Merchant's leer froze, and he let out a shriek of anger. "But you died!" "And now i have defeated death!" The Son turned to his Father's creations, each peering up incredulously from the floor. "Come. We're going back to my Father's house." The creations did not move. They looked at one another for second opinions, unable to imagine anything outside of this shop. In the end, only two stepped forward, the smallest and shabbiest of them all. The Merchant laughed at this unexpected counterblow. "I may have lost, Son, but at leaast I will take most of your precious creations with me!" The Son did not reply. Instead, with great love and care, he bent down to lift the two puppets into his hands. They were soaked with his blood, but didn't seem to mind. Together, the three of them left the merchant's shop on the way home. "Will the Merchant always prevail?" asked one creation. "No," said the Son. "Someday, we'll come back." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jareena Faye Posted April 19, 2003 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2003 Oh blech, stupid typos that I'm too lazy to fix! I hate my keyboard... fixed distracting typos for you. - P' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamaranis Posted April 19, 2003 Report Share Posted April 19, 2003 Nice piece, it is. It somehow works that its not explicit about the nature of the merchant, the wares, and the creations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted April 19, 2003 Report Share Posted April 19, 2003 Nice allegory. I've seen this in various forms before, but I like the way this one progresses. Nice choice of descriptions and motivations. -Peredhil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamaranis Posted April 19, 2003 Report Share Posted April 19, 2003 *blink* I can't believe I missed that... It is a nice allegory... but I suppose that says something about me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigil StarGazer Posted April 20, 2003 Report Share Posted April 20, 2003 Don't worry Tamaranis, you are not the only ones who didn't see it any sooner =) I guess Peredhil's just more preceptive It is a very well written work. Simple, elogant, clean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brute Posted April 20, 2003 Report Share Posted April 20, 2003 This was a very enjoyable read, Jareena! A perfect story for the occasion. Thank you very much for sharing this with us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasmandre Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 Very nice, I really like how you left a lot unsaid. Although, I think I missed the allegory. Maybe someone could give me a hint? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayshela Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 Hint: this was posted at Easter time, and could be considered to relate to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jareena Faye Posted April 26, 2003 Author Report Share Posted April 26, 2003 Ha ha, wow I totally forgot about this post, and I didn't check for replies. Thanks for reading, friends! I'm so glad you liked it! As for the allegory... mwa ha I'm so glad you asked. :woot: See, God is both our Father and our Creator, and we the creations are wrongfully ruled and ruined by Satan, who is kind of like a bad merchant in some ways. Jesus is God's Son, who gave His life to buy us back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salinye Posted April 26, 2003 Report Share Posted April 26, 2003 I really like this allegory, Jareena. I too have seen it in many forms. Have you read the book by Max Lucado called *thinks what is that darn book called* errrr I'll think of it then edit this. LOL Anyway, nice work. I always appreciate a good allegory. Well written! ~Salinye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jareena Faye Posted May 3, 2003 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2003 I've read some Max Lucado, and I was kind of aware of the similarities when I wrote this. You're referring to the one with the puppets and the gray dots, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallscale_mind_games Posted May 3, 2003 Report Share Posted May 3, 2003 The book is called "You Are Special", I believe. My dad got it for my little sis. It's such a cute book. @Jareena: You could have totally screwed this up. You didn't. Good job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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