Brute

While wandering through the halls with his beloved Decanter and singing terribly off-key drinking songs, Brute detects a faint aroma. "Whuzzzat? Shsmellss kinda like...rum!" He turns abruptly and bounces off a wall, then steadies himself. With his nose held high, he draws in the scent deeply. "Hmmm, sshmells like rum, yup. Also shsmells like rad.. um, radi..radishshes! Ooh! someone's making a rum an radi..rum an rash.. rum an rashid..my favorite cake!" Brute smiles as he breathes deeply, trying to capture the scent that lingers heavily in the air. Something in the back of his mind tingles a bit, as if he has forgotten something. "Oh no," he utters, suddenly remembering his earlier plans for Zool's birthday. With a staggering lurch, he launches himself down the hallway to the kitchens. Dark smokes slowly leaks from the corners of the oven door as Brute rushes to it. Throwing open the oven, he staggers back from the cloud of smoke that billows out. Brute waves his arms violently in attempt to clear the smoke. Brute spies a pair of oven mitts and uses them to remove the large chicken-shaped cake pan and sets the blackened cake atop the oven. "It's perfect," he mutters to himself. "He's gonna love thish delishush cake I made. Now jush gotta put a lil' frosting on ta hide the burn marksh." Stumbling about, Brute takes a long draw from the Decanter, then pulls from the cabinet a small tub of specially made frosting labeled 'chromazool frosting- yellow'. Soon, the cake is hideously decorated with an odd, yellowish frosting that makes the cake resemble a half-plucked chicken. "Iss perfet..perfect," Brute slurs, then takes another huge gulp of booze. With a loud burp, balances the cake precariously in one hand and staggers out of the kitchen, seeking Zool.

Brute crept into the kitchen, careful to not make a sound as he moved from cupboard to cupboard, collecting bowls, spoon, and various other cooking utensils. When he was satisfied he had everything needed, he removed a thick piece of parchment from a pocket and flattened it on the counter. As he read the what was written, his hands absently fished out a large flask from another pocket. Slurping the contents of the flask, he moved around the kitchen gathering flour, sugar, eggs, a few spices, several bottles of rum, and a basket of radishes. Placing all the ingredients on the counter near the bowls and cooking implements, he once more looked at the parchment while taking another sip from the flask. "Heh, heh.. Zool's gonna love the Rum and Radish cake I make for him." Brute began to mix the ingredients, carefully following the recipe's instructions. As soon as he finished chopping the radishes and dumping them into the huge mixing bowl, he emptied the rum bottles into the bowl and gave it a final stir. Satisfied that the cake mix was ready, he fired up the oven with a quick incantation, then poured the batter into a very large chicken-shaped cake pan. Wiping flour from his face, Brute grinned and pushed the pan into the oven. "Time for a little snack," he told himself, and wandered off to his room to fetch the Decanter.

I've been digging around trying to catch up what I've missed out on in the past several years of my absence. I somehow came across this RP guide I wrote long ago. It made me laugh while reading it, so I've got the link here in hopes it'll give someone else a chuckle. http://www.patrickdurham.net/themightypen/index.php?showtopic=9011&st=0

color by numbers

professional hitman for hire.

heh.. that train of thought led me to thinking of the length of treant's arms, which in turn, led to a bout of uncontrolled giggles. Good times!!

wow! that's amazing! I think that if one was to truly understand that, that person should get an honorary diploma from DoctorEvil's College of Archvillans, five geld freely given from Wyvern, and a smack from Racouol's frying pans. I loved it!!!!

Dear Pen Diary, Last week, I discovered a little known fact. Gas grills have a slightly evil aura about them. I suspect this is in direct relation to the intelligence of the user, but I don't care to fully test that until I find a worthy test subject. (Other than myself.) I mention the intelligence to evil ratio because on the day of my discovery, I was feeling particularly stupid. It seems that when the gas grills have the opportunity to enact evil schemes they've planned, it always involves their fire-based attack. The strength of this attack also seems to be directly proportionate to the intelligence of the individual using the grill. Allow me to explain by using my incident as an example. As I noted before, I was feeling rather dumb; not to the point of drool gathering upon my chin, but basic physics had become incomprehensible. The grill sensed my lack of wit and committed to it's plan. It allowed both burners to go out, then filled the area beneath the foil-covered rack and the burners with propane. Using it's evil mind influencing powers(see.. works best on slack-wits), it convinced me to squat down and peek under the rack and look for flames. Having found none, of course, the grill convinced me to push the bright red button labeled IGNITE. On the second attempt, it lit. I swear I heard an evil chuckle as I furiously slapped my face to extinguish the flames. Fortunately, reflexes are NOT disable when intelligence is. Unfortunately, reflexes didn't save my eyelashes, eyebrows, or the fuzzy appendage attached to my chin. Those are all gone now, but hopefully will soon grow back. I have learned my lesson and avoid the evil inherent in gas grills unless I can verify my intelligence is adequate for the task before even the first burger is placed on the grill. Otherwise, it's a sandwich for the dummy.

Coca-Cola! (From the old commercials, I suppose. doesn't make any sense to me, but that's what came to mind)

Finds a small and obscure button hidden in the corner and presses it curiously. Dark glasses instantly appear over his eyes. "Ahhh...! That's better! It was truly a little uncomfortable with the bright colors and all. I find the dark and gloom much more to my liking." The broom closet he appears to be talking to refuses to give an answer.

A door opens, allowing Brute entrance into the room. As he brushes cobwebs from his shoulders, a strong odor of alcohol permeates the air around him. "Hullo. Kinda bright an' colorful around here. I suppose it's better than 'bright an' shiny'. We all know what effect SHINY has on most of the residents..."

From within his dark, tattered robes, the old mage produces a familiar flask and pours forth from it a dark liquid, filling the three mugs. Brute then sits in one of the three chairs and grins broadly at Synpiuer and Zool. It's so good to see you, my friends! I've missed all of the colorful inhabitants of this place! It's been so long since I've been here. Where's Ozy, and Gyrfalcon? Is Yui-chan still here? Wyvern! Where's that old rascal at? I believe he still owes me money. It's SOOO good to see you again!!! (OOC. I deeply apologize for my length of absence. I've missed you all and it's so good to be back!! you see, there was this girl, and then life kinda took hold. Well, there's this other girl now.. and she's kind of the reason I came back. anyway, here I am.)

A door in a nearby corner opens suddenly, allowing a pale, bald head to emerge from beyond. Brute quickly scans the room, and upon seeing Snypiuer and Zool talking of obscure afro references, a broad smile creases his drawn face and settles in his eyes. With a quick step into the room, he waves to the two, surprise etched upon their features. "Hullo, Snypiuer! Hullo, Zool! how've ya been?"

Hullo! It seems I've missed the deadline. Again.

Eh.. coupla good books I've read recently... George R.R. Martin's Game of Thrones series. The books so far have been IMHO better than WoT series. Lots of political maneuvering and Martin seems to have a knack for creating likable and believable characters only to kill 'em off unexpectedly. Another book I'm currently reading is the Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. It's an interesting read about craftsmen, Benedictine monks, and minor nobles in twelveth century England. If I ad more time to rea, I'd have finished it by now. Anyway.. just a few more books to consider for those of you with nothing better to do

A shadow falls across the table as Wyvern's toothy maw hovers inches away from his savory meal. Frowning, he glances at the newcomer blocking the light meant for his Scaliness alone. Draconic eyes widen in surprise as a familiar figure settles next to him. "Hullo, Wyv. Care for a strong shot of something to go with that?" Brute smiles at Wyvern's momentary silence and nods to Falcon, then quickly produces a certain decanter, worn with use...

Hiya Tass! hang in there. May you weather out this storm with grace and a sense of peace when the sun shines upon you once more, my friend.

Not to worry.. ol' Whistlebritches falls asleep frequently when he gets worked up. Give him a bit and he'll wake up and resume his tale. Just act like nothing happened.. he gets bent outta shape if you try to tell him he fell asleep midsentence.

A warm spring breeze blew from the southwest, slowly finding it's way across green, rolling meadows. Onward it blew, over low stone walls that separated this field from that one, and over a small village bustling with people eager to be out of doors. The breeze danced and dipped across the village green, then moved on to gently tug at the clothes of several children. It tousled their hair, then sped along, making it's way towards the massive, somber castle that rested atop a hill overlooking the village below. Up a stone wall the warm wind flowed, and across the ramparts. It pulled the cloaks of armed men that walked there, then rose even more, finding an open window high in the keep. The wind wrapped around the man leaning against the window sill and whipped his dark hair across a deeply tanned face. Glittering blue eyes watched the sentries below making their rounds along the wall. His gaze swept further out, to the village beyond the wall and further still past the fields and searched the dark treeline. Past the thick forest, hazy hills rose abruptly from the land. His eyes searched among them for what he could not see, what he feared remained hidden. Movement below him drew his eyes down. A black laquered coach drawn by a team of horses rapidly approached the gatehouse. Mounted guards rode on either side of the coach and two guards in front flew banners. Even from this distance, he could make out the rampant lion embroidered in gold upon a field of crimson. The king's banner. The other banner that flew beside the king's held a yellow crescent upon a black field. The man squinted and scowled at the sight of the second banner. Karlo, the king's advisor was in that carriage. The frequent regret that he didn't kill Karlo years ago invaded the man's thoughts as he turned from the window. Regardless of who was with the king, he would need to be down there when they arrived.

The old dwarf moved slowly among the tavern's patrons,and amid their racous laughter and their boastful tales, he found an empty table not too far from the glowing hearth. His hazel eyes peered from under his stern brow, regarding the crowd gathered within the Pen's tavern. He approved of this place, for it mostly held folk who came for the frequent tales and songs. Jarom had seen more than enough rough taverns and inns that held nothing but thieves, brawlers, and worse. He felt too old for that environment now. The dwarf removed from his pouch a carved pipe and a pouch of good tobacco. He packed the bowl tightly and lit it, drawing long puffs of blue smoke from the stem of the pipe. Jarom motioned for a mug of ale, then looked over the crowd once more. He instantly caught sight of a looming figure entering the tavern. Jarom regarded the fellow as ebony hands reached up to remove the cowl that hung around the newcomer's head. Jarom knew before seeing the bald and pallid head who it was. Several patrons warmly greeted Brute as the massive mage completed his daily journey to the bar. Settling into his familiar stool, Brute glanced around the room. As his ebony eyes fell upon the elder dwarf, Brute shot a mischievious grin to Jarom, who returned it with a scowl and a few muttered words. Jarom squinted at Brute, then raised his mug to his bearded mouth, blocking his view. When Jarom lowered the mug, Brute was talking and laughing with several other patrons. Jarom released a sigh and puffed again at his pipe. "Every night it is the same. He comes in here and nearly drinks the place dry. What could possibly drive a man to drink so?", a soft voice asked. "That is the way of drunkards such as he," came a swift and harsh reply. Jarom swung his head around to see who had spoken. A pretty young lady and a stern-faced man sat at the table next to Jarom, both staring intently at Brute. The girl held a hint of pity in her eyes while the man's face was filled with contempt as he watched Brute finish another mug of strong ale. The dwarf regarded each for a moment, then spoke. "You know nothing, lad. Watch yer tongue when you speak of Brute," Jarom growled. The man reddened indignantly and opened his mouth. "Listen here, you old..." The girl quickly laid her hand lightly upon the man's arm and interupted him. "Please, I am new to this place and have seen this man they call Brute. He intrigues me. I've asked several people about him and while many know him, noone seems to know about him. Do you know him well enough to answer a few questions?" Jarom glared harshly at the girl. For several long moments, neither one spoke as the dwarf seemed to measure the two youngsters with his gaze. Finally, he answered her. "Aye, girl. If you've got some time, I suppose I can tell you a bit about Brute." Jarom looked across the room and watched Brute for a moment, his old weathered face unreadable, then he turned back to the man and the woman before him. "Despite what many think," Jarom began, "Brute doesn't drink for simple love of booze. Well, not entirely, anyway. No lass, he drinks to forget." Jarom took a slow puff from his pipe as his mind recalled the long and dark tale of Brute's past. "He's lived an unnaturally long life, you see, so it begins even before I was born."

There is a certain door within the Keep of the Pen that goes largely unnoticed, for it is never used and is located in the far corner of a dusty hallway. Thick hickory beams darkened with age, bound in heavy iron and set with a black iron handle, it is a door that seems to threaten against intruders. Yet for one intruder who stirs the dust within the hallway, it opens silently as he approaches. The tall figure pauses in the threshold and looks back the way he has come. Only the faint echoes of memories accompany him here. With a sigh, the figure slowly turns his head back to the darkened room before him. Eyes as black as the shadows within the room see clearly what lies hidden within. An ebony hand rises from the heavy robes that drape the figure and extends out. Suddenly a soft blue glow begins to fill the room. The room is as dusty as the hallway outside. The light reveals what he has already seen; a room cluttered with ancient tomes, jars of murky liquid, several desks that are covered in scrolls and the occasional skelton of some small creature. In the corner of the room, just under a shuttered window, lies a bed untouched for several years. To the left of the doorway, stairs wind upwards to a laboratory. Even now, he can still feel the heavy wards placed upon the door to the lab. Eyes like black stains upon the pale flesh of his face search intently about the room for several moments. Satisfied, he takes a step into the room. Without warning, the ghostly visage of a skeletal demon appears just before him, screaming a challenge and threatening unending pain. Startled, the figure steps back as the incorporeal creature lunges forward. His hand, suddenly burning with bluish-black flames, streaks forth to the creature's chest, embedding fingers into the creature with a smoking hiss. Howls of pain fill the room as the creature withdraws to the shadows. "Master," it whimpers, " forgive me! I did not know it was you. I took you for an intruder!" "Begone, wretched creature!" the figure snarls as he crosses the room and pulls a chair from a large desk. The creature casts one quick glance towards the figure seated at the desk and vanishes through a nearby wall. Save for the labored breathing of the seated man, silence falls upon the room. Many minutes pass before he moves again. Reaching into a desk drawer, he pulls out an inkwell and a pen crafted of bone, tipped with gold. A frown crosses the pale face as he finds the inkwell dry. Reaching into his robe, he produces a long, thin dagger and slowly incises his open palm. He clenches his fist over the inkwell as bright red drops slowly fill the small bottle. Opening his hand, he closes his eyes and quietly speaks minor words of magic. the dark flesh of his hand quickly knits together and all traces of the wound vanish. Opening his eyes once more, he dips the pen into the bottle and begins to write upon an empty scroll. Dearest Yui, I have returned. I am not well, and will need some rest before I can greet everyone. I know Wyvern still lairs within these halls, for I could sense his greed long before I arrived. Please inform him I wish to claim what is mine. He will know what I speak of. Inform any who wish to visit me I will receive them all as soon as my children have arrived. They should be here in two days. They will be happy to meet you, I'm sure. Make sure Wyvern knows nothing about the children until I have them safely within my quarters. I cannot allow him to embroil them in his schemes. Yours, Brute A smile slowly crosses Brute's pale face as he seals the letter and whispers arcane words. He watches as the message slowly fades from his sight. Brute pushes up from the chair and staggers to the corner wher the bed lies. With the last of his energy, he collapses upon it unconscious.

Hiya folks. Been a long while since I've been here.. things have changed. Then again, I suppose some things never do, do they? Tall, Dark and Scary has really missed you folks. Pull up a chair and wring some booze outta the lizard, I've new fuel for my muse. Time is my unseen enemy, for I do not know what lies ahead. Then again, which among us do? For the moment, Brute has returned. I have stories to tell. The power of love and faith allows me to take what is broken and make it whole.

I've been away to long, it seems. I've missed a significant amount around here, not the least being Wyvern's radio broadcasts. I will make amends, though. This evening I'll be tuned in, supporting our favorite Wyvern as he works his radio mojo. Knock 'em dead, Wyv. The tired traveler leans his pallid bulk against the cool walls of the Pen. Shadows embrace him and the familiar whisperings of the keep soothes him. Brute has come home once more.

Eenie, meenie, miny, moe?????? somebody shoot me.

Drax Veteran Posts: 622 Registered: Nov 2000 posted February 05, 2001 09:52 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Unfortunately for all of you who like to read long posts I dont have the time to read or write anything over half a page. Theoretically this should be impossible but because the laws of the universe are interchangable with the rules of all of the famous beverage related sweepstakes, I would like, before anything changes, to annouce that the chances of getting hit by lightning is better than winning the lottery or other such games of chance. For the few of us that have recently been hit by lighning know that swimming in pools of endless booze in the middle of a thunder/lightning storm can be really messy when it involves thousands of floating buckets of moldy cheese that have previously been squirrels. But without further adeu (pronounced A doo[as in dog crap] I would like to submit my forms and join the game: Name: Drax aka ghistelswchlom Race: Elven Sex: Yes please Age: Whatever's legal for drinking booze Other Data: Squirrels, Cows, and Cheese Drax reaches out and grabs a sprite from a pile that appears next to his feet, unscrews the cap and grimices at the "thank you for playing, please try again" message that appears. With a scream he turns and smashes the bottle over brute's head and grabs for the dacanter. All the mages gasp in disbelief as Drax runs away clutching the small bottle shaped object. Drax laughes evilly, turns and smiles at brute "Thank you Brute for so kindly supplying me with this (he indicates the flask) supply of booze. Brute snarls and activates the anti-theft mechanism, located on the flask with a flick of his middle finger, and waits; nothing happens. "You b*stard!"(because of the importance of this post I have edited the content for underage viewing) brute yells "get him guys, he's got the decaner" A rough chase begins, Drax running and dodgeing in, through, and around a suprisingly familiar white gazebo with a vegatable looking matter labeled MindMaster inside, along with a pool of booze. With a sudden start brute realizes something, he turn to the other mages and with a snap of his fingers, they all tumble into a puddle of waste that formed at his feet. . . . . . . pause . . . . . . The mages look up brute has the decanter in his hand "Sorry, I lied, I guess he didn't grap it" Then . . . . . a scream of rage from the gazebo "Aaaauugh!" the white gazebo implodes, sending shards of stone, globs of melted cheese and salad flying in all directions.... Silence. . . .A dirty form falls fro the sky. . .it's Drax, in his left hand he is holding a bottle that looks surprisingly like the decanter but also resembles a pop bottle, his left hand is a crusty blackened fist that slowly opens and the mages watch in facination as a white plastic lid tumbles from his grasp. brute walks over, pics it up, reads it, then laughs. "Thank you for" he says, quoting those dreaded words, "for playing" he continues "please try again." THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: for those of you that exoected a short message; SORRY. . . .I LIED ------------------ In the beginning god said let there be Vodka and said "it is good" next god said let there be light and said "whoa way too much light" (competetor in the quest for the decanter of endless booze) IP: Logged Jechum Veteran Posts: 179 Registered: Dec 2000 posted February 05, 2001 02:40 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A shadowy figure enters from the side of the hall. He moves slowly around listening to all the gripping and complaining. The shouts to Brute to give him or her the Decanter are over whelming. The shadowy figure moves over to Lumpenproletariat. "Well hello Jechum, I was wondering if you'd show up." Jechum looks over at Lumpenproletariat. "So far I think you've got the Decanter in the bag and considering your age, a good place to hide it. The only other good stories so far are from Racouol and Thordain. The others seem to be mostly whining and crying that they should get the Decanter. Though I must admit that Cheyenne did gave a pretty good argument." Jechum looks over at Cheyenne wondering how dangers she would become when her natural beauty is enhanced by the powers of the Decanter. Jechum shudders as if a cold wind passes down his neck weighting the pros and cons of that idea. Jechum again searches the hall looking for some of the more of eloquent writers but sees very few. Jechum's eyes fall upon the self-proclaimed "Newbie" Bead, oh yes, he remembers scrying the Arena Archmage for that name. Jechum recalls Bead being 3928 out of 3928 with only 3 fortresses, and wonders how Bead faired during the Armageddon. Jechum contemplates Thordain's idea of Brute receiving the Decanter upon his return. Yes, now that is an idea! Brute shall remain the "Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze" but the Decanter must remain here in the hall otherwise more people might sober up and leave. The person that receives the Decanter should only receive the title of "Steward of Brute's Decanter of Endless Booze". Thus upon Brute's return, Brute can have the custodian clean up the mess they made. Yes, Yes between the lore of Terra and the Decanter both pulling on him, Brute should return in less then one reset. Now how to sell this idea to Brute…. Oh, yes a funny story, to attempt to win the Decanter for himself. Jechum decides to tell the hall the first time he had sex. I can't say that it's totally original but oh well here it goes. A most lovely lady that I was secretly courting requested me to ask her father for permission to formally court her. She informed me that afterwards she would be willing to give her flower unto me. Not having had a lady's flower before and wanting information, I visited an alchemist sage for advice. The sage was a good old fellow and informed me of the birds and the bees. I divulged to the sage that I was only looking for "a good time". The sage educated me on the fact that my "good time" could lead to her pregnancy not to mention some more deadly consequences. The sage offered to sell me some special potions that should protect me but that I would need one potion before each engagement. Well being the young viral man that I am, I request to buy his entire stock of potions. The sage exclaimed that he had over 50 potions in stock and that I would not need so much in one night. Smiling, I asked him for a little blue pill, that I had heard about on the streets, to go along with those 50 potions. The sage gave me wink and a knowing smile back. He sold me all 50 potions and told me that I needed to take the pill at least one hour before hand. Well the night had come and before knocking on the door I took my little blue pill. My lady opened the door and informed me that we were to dine with her parents in the main hall. Entering the hall I saw her parents for the first time sitting at either end of the table. My lady requested that I sit next to her at the dinning room table. Being the type of man that I am, I offered to say the Dinner Prayer. I bowed my head and started to pray. Ten minutes went by and I prayed, twenty minutes went by and I prayed, thirty minutes went by and I prayed, forty minutes went by and I prayed. My lady glanced at me and informed her parents that I was very religious. When an hour had passed and I was still deep in prayer my lady started to notice a raise in my pants. My lady whispered in my ear "I didn't know you were so religious and that it turned you on to pray" To this I simply replayed, "I didn't know that your father was an alchemist sage." And I prayed! Most Honorably and Respectfully Jechum Mage of Shadows Crusader of Intelligent Conversations The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword-BH Towel Sales Man - "The Intergalactic Highway (reset) is coming so better get your towel now!" [This message has been edited by Jechum (edited February 05, 2001).] IP: Logged Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 05, 2001 03:49 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ahem. Make way for your founder. The brewer's grain is wonderful- it relaxes the tounge, soothes the soul, and steals away the waking hours. And having an endless supply would be terribly cost effective. Now, for the laughter requirement- Ozymandias whips off his robe, revealing a finely tailored silk blouse and an enormous pair of green and yellow plaid pants. Kicking off his sandals, he reaches behind his back and produces two red clown shoes and a red nose. Donning them, he does a little jig to flamenco music. For a big finish, he leaps into the air, lands doing a split, and kisses a nearby flounder. After taking several bows, he hawks and spits. I hate sushi... ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -Benjamin Franklin The Pen is Mightier than the Sword- A1 Elder and Founder [This message has been edited by Ozymandias (edited February 05, 2001).] IP: Logged lumpenproletariat Veteran Posts: 2794 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 05, 2001 04:24 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dammit, now no doubt the Rest of tPiMttS will turn up, and Zool with them, and I shall stand no chance, lumpen gets a dark look in his eyes, and starting grinning manically and muttering, sabotage, yes thats the way, sabotage, muahahaha ------------------ -Lumpenproletariat Kleptomaniac of terra A SoB on B2 Member of the Zombie Club Leader of FOoD, and its parent company RTCYSIA on Beta "I've cracked 1500 baby"-Misha "tea spoon for tea cups, table spoon for table cups, dessert spoon for fat chicks"--Some drunk guy I met on the beach IP: Logged Alamar Veteran Posts: 32 Registered: Feb 2001 posted February 05, 2001 04:49 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alamar listens to all the arguments and talking and the like.. "Hmm, interesting, what gets me is, if the thing is Fooproof, why doesn't people make better foos. I still believe I should have the Decanter...for the time it takes someone to pillage it, for the Decanter should be free, running around, for as long as it keeps getting pillaged by others, it's obvious that there's going to be spillage, as the armies run like hell back to their lands from the ones that realize the armies took it, and that will cause more booze to be all over the place. I think the obvious thing is to remove the enchantments, and allow the decanter to go everywhere, it's just like at movie theatres, whoever needs it the most gets it...any questions?" Alamar hears a clamering from all the random peasants asking "WHATS A MOVIE THEATRE!?!" "Sigh...I forgot what world I was in again...this sucks..." Alamar sighed and leaned against a wall, rummaging thru his spellbook of oddities... ------------------ Alamar "Oops...nother wish gone bad." Owner of the Ancient Spell - Summon Cool Elemental, Elementos IP: Logged RagingGoat Moderator Posts: 1120 Registered: Apr 2000 posted February 05, 2001 04:50 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hmmm.... when you put it as tPiMttS it ends up looking vaguely similar to PMS... Do you guys get that joke a lot? RagingGoat IP: Logged lumpenproletariat Veteran Posts: 2794 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 05, 2001 11:44 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- not once so far Mr. Goat ------------------ -Lumpenproletariat Kleptomaniac of terra A SoB on B2 Member of the Zombie Club Leader of FOoD, and its parent company RTCYSIA on Beta "I've cracked 1500 baby"-Misha "tea spoon for tea cups, table spoon for table cups, dessert spoon for fat chicks"--Some drunk guy I met on the beach IP: Logged Jechum Veteran Posts: 179 Registered: Dec 2000 posted February 06, 2001 04:39 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Since we want to take interesting ways to look at things. I was wondering how you came up with PMS from tPiMttS or more lovingly refered to as "the Pen is Mighter then the Sword" Then it occurred to me by looking at your name Rag-in-Goat…. No, disrespect intended just an interesting way to look at things. Do you get that joke often? Most Honorably and Respectfully Jechum Mage of Shadows Crusader of Intelligent Conversations The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword-BH Towel Sales Man - "The Intergalactic Highway (reset) is coming so better get your towel now!" [This message has been edited by Jechum (edited February 06, 2001).] IP: Logged RagingGoat Moderator Posts: 1120 Registered: Apr 2000 posted February 06, 2001 09:52 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heh! Not once so far Mr. Jechum ! I wish your guild the best of luck on a1. Perhaps I'll see you around. Have fun good luck! RagingGoat IP: Logged Jechum Veteran Posts: 179 Registered: Dec 2000 posted February 06, 2001 10:42 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jechum bows deeply to RagingGoat. Jechum quietly states "I don't think that "the Pen is Mightier then the Sword" will be active this reset on A1. Many key guild members are not returning to A1 this reset. We have discussed it on our web page and it seems we will maintain a UBB presence only. As for seeing each other on A1, perhaps, in beginning we may see each other but I fear that it will be to the detriment of my acquired land totals. Fun, I always have fun and the luck I'll need more then you know. I wish the same to you though." Jechum recalls what this string is for and thinks he could use a good swig from the Decanter right about now! Brute are you still suppling mages in need? Most Honorably and Respectfully Jechum Mage of Shadows Crusader of Intelligent Conversations Currently searching for a Guild - A1 The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword-BH Towel Sales Man - "The Intergalactic Highway (reset) is coming so better get your towel now!" [This message has been edited by Jechum (edited February 06, 2001).] IP: Logged Jester Newbie Posts: 15 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 06, 2001 01:49 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From what I read so far, it seems either Aegon or Dr. Weir should get the decanter since it seems they know the full potential of it. However, I do have to put in a vote for myself. So here goes.... Brute, first and foremost, if I do get the decanter, I promise to share its contents with those who know how to use its power to the fullest (i.e. get yourself or someone else drunk). Some of you know what I'm talking about. Second, I'm not a complete stranger to you or the decanter, so you know it'd be going to a friend. Wouldn't you like to know how it's doing from time to time? Anyway, the absolute one reason above all that should make you give me the decanter is... damn... I forgot, but it was good, and you should accept it on principle. ~Jester P.S. brute, is it possible to get access to the new guild forum on b2? I have a mage and would like to offer help there. I'd need the URL as well. IP: Logged Cheyenne Veteran Posts: 510 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 06, 2001 01:55 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://pub37.ezboard.com/bsob7550 This is the address to the guild pages for b2, if you would like to apply for membership, take the oath. IP: Logged lumpenproletariat Veteran Posts: 2794 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 06, 2001 09:05 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- cheap shameless advertising, a new low Cheye Well, what I don't think most of you realise is, the DEcanter is not only a thing of eternal booze, but it is more importantly a Legacy, it has been wielded by brute for eons, and some of you don't realise that I want to continue the legacy of the Decanter of Endless booze, its brings fame glory, but not as important as the respect that comes from your fellows when you can say,-I own the Decanter. Please consider my words brut ------------------ -Lumpenproletariat Leader of FOoD and RTCYSIA Prophet Awisemansaid-"Play without emotions ... Then there should not be something to complain about." IP: Logged Kheldon Veteran Posts: 139 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 07, 2001 03:28 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brute! you thought you could just offer to guve away the Decanter without, telling me about it?! Here is my offer, I deserve the Decanter (now, when your insane enough to give it away.): *I have known you almost from the beginning of the b2 server. When Lord Snoop, Elven, Lady Katharine, Gotrunk, DayStar and the others where still on the chat. *I was (almost) outdrinking you on both the normal chat and the spaniel chat. *You owe me that Decanter because you and everyone else left me alone on that adventure of some fountain on the Mage Knights of Justice Main Hall! All I could do was to put that troll in a sack and kick him once ina while, just to release my anger! *I count you to be one of my closest friends, even though I havent seen you for a while. *starting to get teary eyes* I was one of the first to comment your new guild and reply to your emote. (mkojmh) *I respect you and would even have spanked Cheye if you had asked me. (Dont show this part to her, I am joining the SoB and it wouldnt be a very good thing, if she knew about it.#=o)) *And now I am getting dry on ideas, but there are plenty more reasons left.....I bet you may remember some. Need any more reasons? Kheldon, much more, no less. IP: Logged Kheldon Veteran Posts: 139 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 07, 2001 03:31 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brute! you thought you could just offer to guve away the Decanter without, telling me about it?! Here is my offer, I deserve the Decanter (now, when your insane enough to give it away.): *I have known you almost from the beginning of the b2 server. When Lord Snoop, Elven, Lady Katharine, Gotrunk, DayStar and the others where still on the chat. *I was (almost) outdrinking you on both the normal chat and the spaniel chat. *You owe me that Decanter because you and everyone else left me alone on that adventure of some fountain on the Mage Knights of Justice Main Hall! All I could do was to put that troll in a sack and kick him once ina while, just to release my anger! *I count you to be one of my closest friends, even though I havent seen you for a while. *starting to get teary eyes* I was one of the first to comment your new guild and reply to your emote. (mkojmh) *I respect you and would even have spanked Cheye if you had asked me. (Dont show this part to her, I am joining the SoB and it wouldnt be a very good thing, if she knew about it.#=o)) *And now I am getting dry on ideas, but there are plenty more reasons left.....I bet you may remember some. Need any more reasons? Kheldon, much more, no less. IP: Logged Yui Temae Veteran Posts: 306 Registered: Oct 2000 posted February 07, 2001 11:07 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The young lady in the ebon cloak steps up behind Brute as he sprawls drunkenly in his deckchair, a pad of paper in her hands, and a quill working madly across the surface. Though not her norm, she wears a pair of gold-rimmed spectacles low on her nose, her dark blonde hair curled into a high bun on her head. "Now then, Master Brute, I've been taking extensive notes for you to review if and when you are ever sober enough. I do, after all, know all about the quality of your memory. Thus far, it seems only a few mages have given you any semi-comprehensible arguments for their stewardship of the Decanter. I have the list here for you to view." She flips a page or two and holds the page full of flowing script up in front of Brute's red-nosed face as he makes a weak attempt to focus his alcohol-dulled eyes on the page. After a moment of his blinking at it uncomprehendingly, she sighs and pulls the page back before her. "Perhaps you'll want to look at it later, then..." Yui then turns to Aegon, still standing nearby, though a bit singed from Racouol's entrance. "If you think to get me drunk, again... Well, I've learned! I'm not going to listen to you next time that you tell me that alcohol cures a headache... So you don't need the Decanter, if you could even win it. Hmph!" She then turns with a 'huff', muttering about how it's not her fault that petite people get drunk easily and cursing all raspberry beers and a particular glass of vodka and orange juice... ------------------ @-/--- Yui-chan Student of the Kendricke School of Mile-long Posts The one who stole Aegon from AoD The last survivor of the Hall of Justice NOT a Nymph!! IP: Logged Jester Newbie Posts: 15 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 07, 2001 12:15 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sorry this is not relevant to the true discussion, but I have to know something. "Wee", what do you mean you're the last survivor of HoJ? Last I checked, I'm still alive and somewhat around Sorry about that ppl, just seemed odd to me. ~Jester, not the last survivor of HoJ IP: Logged ~O~ Veteran Posts: 724 Registered: Nov 2001 posted February 07, 2001 09:00 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jester! I used to be in HoJ, too. Detritus the Red, here. IP: Logged brute Veteran Posts: 216 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 07, 2001 10:22 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GAH!!!!!!!! I'm absolutely humbled by all of the entries, and to be honest, absolutely drunk by the time I read them all. Man!! this is gonna be hard for me to do... Brute stands rather shakily from his lawn chair that sits sprawled in the center of the gazebo and makes his way over to inspect the contestants. Ok..tell you guys what I'm gonna do..*hic* furst of all..I want theshe mages ta step forward. Whoa! not all of ya. wait..that's jush me. umm..oh, yeah. When I call yer name, come forward and prepare to give me one last request for the Ownership. Osh..Oszm..Oshyman..You! *Brute points at Ozymandias and nods his head with grin* Kheldon..buddy of mine..I've known you practically forever, huh? You should get a shot too. Lumpy..whatever. C'mere. Thish is the last time, then you'll hush, ok? Wvryen...did I shpell it right thish time? Brute stumbles a bit, takes another monstrous gulp from the DEcanter, then continues. Umm..who else...oh, yeah. Racoououol..heh,heh..thatsh fun ta say...Racououol. Dracks. you're certainly persistant. you get another shot. *At this point, chaos breaks out. All the mages begin to argue that Brute was simply changing the rules to avoid choosing someone. Other accusations mentioned lies about the nature of the contest and a horrible injustice on everyone's poor hopes. Brute plopped down in his lawn chair, which creaked and groaned loudly, and tried to focus his eyes on the cause of the uproar. From his side, Aegon quietly said to Brute," This is gettin gyou nowhere, my friend. Allow me to gain Ownership and then you may simply get drunk without worrying anymore." Before he could acknowdge the wisdom of Aegon's astute observations and succeed ownership to Aegon, Brute glanced over to Yui and saw her roll her eyes at the two conspirators. With a smile, Brute told Aegon, "Sorry. Yui said no." Once more, Brute stood on his wobbily legs. He held his arms up to indicate silence from the crowd. After several moments, most of the would-be Owners began to settle down somewhat. "Ok..fine. I'll announce the winner." Brute took another huge swig from the Decanter, then sat back down. "First, I'd like to say thanks to a few folks that gave me a smile and a few cheap laughs." "Bead...loved the whole newbie thing. Thanks for posting in here. I'm humbled." Sin Slayer.. heh,heh... Haruchi...Thank you for your entry. I enjoyed it and will most likely adopt the title Prophet of Booze. Dr. Weir, Cheyenne...you two have VERY convincing arguements, but I think most of what was mentioned occurs with or without the booze. Drax...nice try...you certainly get points for persistance. Jechum..thank you for your entry as well. Oz..I would have liked to hear more from ya, as I'm sure that you would've taken the title if you only had a bit more in there. Oh, well...I'm sure the new Owner will be quite friendly with the DEcanter. *it suddenly occurs to Brute that he's rambling and trying to stall, but the mages are getting weary of his game.* "Dammit! who gets it????" they shout. "ok,ok!.. Lumpy, Wyvern and Racouol..you three were the top choices." Everyone holds their breath as Brute closely inspects the three. Silence reigns over the gathering as all wait for the decision. Wyvern, Racouol, and Lumpy hear a faint chant as Brute silently mouths something to himself. "What's he saying?" Asks Wyvern. "I dunno," replies Racouol. Lumpy turns his head to hear better. "I'm not sure, but I think it's 'eenie, meenie, miny, moe'. Racouol looks at Brutes finger and sees that it is barley moving as he finishes the chanting. Brute's finger points to..... Wyvern. With a tear in his eye, Brute hands the Decanter to Wyvern and announces to the contestants that "the Over-grown Lizard gets it!" Take care of my baby, Wyvern. Brute says a few words of power, and the ownership of the wonderous Decanter of Endless Booze is transferred to Wyvern. Umm..so. Make a lake already. Brute, Prophet of Booze IP: Logged brute Veteran Posts: 216 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 07, 2001 10:27 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How could I forget???? THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR ENTERING MY CONTEST!!!!!!!!!! I enjoyed each post. Those who wish to email me, but do not have the address..it's Brute@thevortex. drop a line or two. I'll return. Brute, Prophet of Booze [This message has been edited by brute (edited February 07, 2001).] IP: Logged lumpenproletariat Veteran Posts: 2794 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 08, 2001 01:36 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Sniffs* Well, even though he didn't technically enter, I bow before you new God of booze wveryn ( ) *shakes Wyverns hand* Congrats *briefly wonders wheter he did actually say..eni meni..., and shrugs, walks off, disapointed* ------------------ -Lumpenproletariat Leader of FOoD and RTCYSIA Prophet Awisemansaid-"Play without emotions ... Then there should not be something to complain about." IP: Logged Wyvern Veteran Posts: 732 Registered: Jul 2000 posted February 08, 2001 05:37 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (sniffs, wiping a tear from his dragonic brow) I must say Brute, that I am absolutely HONORED to have recieved this Decanter. I promise you, I will use it to it's fullest extent! I, as well as all of us, will always remember you as one of the great Archmage posters (and some of us as a great leader ). Before I begin changing my sig and start plotting numerous tales concerning the Decanter, I would like to send out a few words of thanks. I would like to sincerely thank Racouol, Cheyenne, and Lumpy: without whose brilliant writing styles and constant support Archmage would be a strange and empty place. I highly admire all three of you. Keep up the good work! I would also like to thank all of those who posted here and participated in the hopes of getting the Decanter. You have to understand that the enormous amount of participation on your behalfs really did mean a lot to Brutesy, and I'm sure they made his retirement a happy one; full of joyous laughter and endless smiles. If you have time, you can all come and participate in Brute's going away party which I am hosting. It is located in the Conservatory-Stories section. I expect to see all of you there! Free alcohol for everybody! Having said that, I would just like to once again say that I am truly honored by your decision Brute. I will not forget this act of generous donation. Thank you. ------------------ Wyvern ...almost a dragon. IP: Logged Jechum Veteran Posts: 179 Registered: Dec 2000 posted February 08, 2001 06:55 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jechum goes over his notes and checks them twice…. Jechum at the bottom of them he makes a note that next time, if there is a next time, become a backwoods clown getting hit with chicken soup. "Congratulations Wyvern!" Jechum wonders where and when Wyvern, Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze will create his first pool. IP: Logged Jester Newbie Posts: 15 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 08, 2001 09:29 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- First of all, congrats to Wyvern on his new acquisition. Second, hey Det!!! How've you been? I'll drop you a line on AIM if I see you on. I have a new screen name there, but you'll know it's me. ~Jester IP: Logged Kheldon Veteran Posts: 139 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 09, 2001 02:40 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Congrats Wyvern, now give me a drink! IP: Logged Wyvern Veteran Posts: 732 Registered: Jul 2000 posted February 09, 2001 07:06 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How much will you pay me? Just kidding! (pours Kheldon some booze) ------------------ Wyvern ...almost a dragon. Proud Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. IP: Logged Yui Temae Veteran Posts: 306 Registered: Oct 2000 posted February 09, 2001 10:18 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yui wanders over to Jester in the aftermath of Brute's announcement, tossing the spectacles (which were just for effect, anyway) over her shoulder. She doesn't notice the pained Yeowch! from the unfortunate mage to get a pair of spectacles bounced off his head. She grins at her old friend, stepping up beside him and Detritus. "It's been a while, Jester. I must apologize for the signature, it is getting a bit old, now that so many of the once-faces of the Hall are back. I shall take great pleasure in changing it." She then glances between the two and smiles. "You'll never guess just how many of our old friends are back in this new Age of Terra. I should love to have a chance to speak about it, but for now I need to go console Aegon on his loss." She leans close and whispers. "I think he's taking it a bit hard. If you'll excuse me, gentlemen." Yui smiles and bows her head a bit in parting and turns, disappearing into the crowd. ------------------ @-/--- Yui-chan Student of the Kendricke School of Mile-long Posts The one who stole Aegon from AoD ... and then got stolen by AoD Forever a mage of the Hall of Justice NOT a Nymph!! Intending to have a real signature, one of these days... [This message has been edited by Yui Temae (edited February 09, 2001).] IP: Logged Kheldon Veteran Posts: 139 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 09, 2001 10:54 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Drinks up his share of the booze* Are you a nymph, Yui? IP: Logged Drax Veteran Posts: 622 Registered: Nov 2000 posted February 09, 2001 11:21 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- out of respect for brute i congratulate you for winning instead of kicking your @ss may your days be long and drunken hehe laterz i must off but before i leave, hand over some of that brew and fill up my gnomishthingthatallowstheholdertheconsumatelargeamountsof..... aw screw it just fill my mug and ill be off ------------------ In the beginning god said let there be Vodka and said "it is good" next god said let there be light and said "whoa way too much light" (competetor in the quest for the decanter of endless booze)