Deadly Nightshade Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Caste into shadows as a mere baby Why did they do it? I jump up in bed gaze about The other children sleep While I ponder my escape I can no longer stay Watch other kids leave with smiles While I stay in my corner a doll in hand I waited long enough I must go I dream one day I will have a family But first I must find my past Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopperWolf Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 hun, you have a great talent for literary imagery. keep it up. like the poem very much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 I'm glad you're writing poetry, and not only chatting. You have a strong 'voice'. Your first poems seemed hesitant, like a singer warming up. With this poem, you're definitely hitting your stride. I see a great deal of improvement. Tight poem, doesn't wander. All the lines lead to the point of the poem, the loneliness of being the outsider, (You'll find MANY people here who can relate to THAT feeling (welcome, hugs)) without getting overly dramatic or graphic. Really frees the reader to engage their imagination, and involve themself in the poem. Good job. -Peredhil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaneus Posted February 21, 2003 Report Share Posted February 21, 2003 Ya, what Pered said. Lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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