Peredhil Posted February 13, 2002 Report Share Posted February 13, 2002 Your honesty was a mallet While my heart to you was glass Now we're dealing with the shards Of betrayals in the past. We still love one another That at least is true But how do we piece together Shards without some glue? We eye each other warily And use care when we embrace Scintillantly shards of pain Are difficult to face. And so we circle endlessly At times it looks quite bleak We tread lightly in this dance Shivered shards are no gleek. 'Tis time to look directly Perhaps sight's been too peripheral We need to see more deepily Not develop defenses pharisaical. I sit here gathering slivered shards Hands bleed but they'll suffice To forge once more a working heart To be love's sacrifice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rahsash Geldich Posted February 13, 2002 Report Share Posted February 13, 2002 ::would wipe a tear if any ever came:: Thats a tribute to love how it really is, for Aphrodite is relly just the idea of love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jess Posted February 13, 2002 Report Share Posted February 13, 2002 That one is ver good. Thank you for sharing it with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tralla Posted February 13, 2002 Report Share Posted February 13, 2002 Aw... The tragic victim? At least the speaker is trying to mend what is broken. Very impressive, as always Peredhil. =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falcon2001 Posted February 13, 2002 Report Share Posted February 13, 2002 Good grief, have you ever written a BAD poem? I'm running out of compliments, brilliant as always, Peredhil. Cioden Darkeye Quill-Bearer - The Pen is Mightier than the Sword President of the Peredhil Fan Club Owner of the Reply Raven - Enemy to all those who never post responses Ashaman - WoT - Blitz II Council - The Hunters - Blitz II Leisure Officer - SFV Ultima - Beta Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted February 14, 2002 Report Share Posted February 14, 2002 Well said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bhurin Posted February 15, 2002 Report Share Posted February 15, 2002 A... Very, very good articulation, my friend, of observations. I must say that your use of metaphbor is most impressive. If I may say; the shards of a broken heart simile is often over done, but this idea is fresh (I especially like the glue comment, as superficial as that sounds. I like the implied metaphor for grounds to re-base the relationship on), and your use of a flowing rhythm makes the poem all the more enjoyable. Also, as long as I'm bringing up rhythm, may I say that it is not often that I can read through a poem completely on my first try without stopping to examine a beat or change of metre on part of the poet. This was one of those times. your poem flowed with mercury-like smoothness. This is one that would easily commit to memory. My thanks. Signed- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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