Mira Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 Crosspost from The Muse and Quill Cafe... So long it has been since I felt the heat of skin upon skin; Felt the beat of heart hidden within a chest So long Since I have been blessed… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appy Posted June 8, 2012 Report Share Posted June 8, 2012 Mira! o/ Nice one... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted June 9, 2012 Report Share Posted June 9, 2012 This makes me ache. One reason I hug so much, virtually and in real life, is that touch is my primary love language. I see someone in pain, and I ache to just hold them and give them energy. You really captured, for me, the longing to feel that special touch of a lover. I do so enjoy your poetry. *Polite huggles!* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reverie Posted November 23, 2012 Report Share Posted November 23, 2012 Still love those italics I see. Hey Mira, what's up. Long time no talk. Hmm. Great lead in, you got me for the first 5 lines. Feels real, but then the " heart hidden within / a chest" falls a little flat for me. Why's the heart hidden, if you can feel it? Or at least remember how it felt. Last line doesn't do it for me either, but poem as whole has potential. Here's something you could try (example only, am not saying you should do this). So long it has been, since I felt the heat of skin upon skin; Felt the beat skip heart hidden (bitten?), ripped (then let it tumble, erratic into excited staccato lust-speak vibe) or Felt the heart beat (same tumble, but use the orgasm crescendo heartbeat wave, building, fast as @#@$, recovery afterglow slowing slow, as your launching off point.) cheers, rev Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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