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Tanuchan

Ding-dong, wiggly-wong, polling song!

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This came out from a conversation with Vene, and is a free RP open to anyone who wants to participate. We do not have specific plans for the thread/plot, other than being fun (and preferably light). Tanny and Stephen's friends who are mentioned to share the desk have not been named, so if you want to be one of them go ahead!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

::I was out of my mind. That's the only possible explanation. Either that, or I have completely lost any common sense I have ever got!::

 

::Ouch:: There was a clear flinch in the mind-voice.::I might just have been logically persuasive?::

 

::I was probably drunk... you and your cigarettes, most probably!::

 

::... Cigarettes make one drunk?::

 

::Aaaarghhh.... I swear one day I'll ... I'll... ::

 

Stephen blinked, surprised to hear a chuckling at the end of the sentence. ::... Tanny?::

 

It took some time before the wolf settled, taken as she had been by a giggling fit.

 

::It's amazing how often I let you put me into this kind of thing just because I don't have enough sense to find a flaw on your reasoning... or lack of it.::

 

The wolf plopped down wearily, but still with a glint of humor in her eyes. ::Now, again, what are we doing here?::

 

::Uh... volunteering for election-day duty?::

 

::VOLUNTEERING? I was dragged into this by your misery!! I did not volunteer, it was your dratted Mage-acquaintance who volunteered YOU and then you had to share that boon with me!::

 

Stephen almost laughed at the harumphing wolf, except that he himself puffed at hearing one special part of the sentence. ::Mage-acquaintance? I have NO mage acquaintance whatsoever! The old fellow just fell on me, literally -- out of thin air!And then started thanking me for saving him from a most unpleasant meeting with mother earth and said that he'd honor me by recommending me to be an officer on the Mage-election day!::

 

::Hmph. And what are we electing? Or who? From which candidate list? What for?::

 

The ranger flailed arms helplessly, still at a loss on how he had gotten stuck behind a long desk in a glade right next to the Pen Keep, with a ranting wolf sitting at his feet. In front of him, he knew there were the two voting booths which glowed slightly purple, as he had heard others murmuring; each of them housed a contraption that the "old-fellow" described as the state-of-the-art voting apparatus, completely tampering-proof even to the most powerful of mages. There were some other people at the table, also grumbling and as happy as him (and Tanny) to be there.

 

::I have no clue. Next I know, I was telling the crazy fellow that I couldn't not oversee anything, and no, I could not point out other helpers... Then he was babbling something about what a perfect place for a voting Portal this would be and that the locals could help with the Academy of some-other-plane by holding a polling place here in neutral ground. He even said we could vote too!::

 

::Okay, you featherbrained ranger... let me try again. What does this election mean, and how did we all end up here?::

 

::Huh... I don't know? That's the list of names...:: His hand pointed vaguely in the direction he knew a list was stuck to a tree trunk. ::As to what for... well... some kind of regional representative for that so-called Academy? We are told we can add any name we want to that list, provided that the ones there are not erased... anyone from the Pen can vote, besides those... erm.... whoever... who Portal over here from their Plane... ::

 

 

This is going to be a loooooooooong day... Tanny sighed, still mumbling. And again sent in mindspeech to Stephen, ::And you HAD to have me as a seeing eye dog, of all things?!::

 

::Not my fault. The gandalf-guy just said that there would be no problem about finding some help for me, and all of a sudden you appeared running at all speed and crashed into me.:: He snorted, remembering too well the impact of a wolf on his chest and of earth on his back.

 

::I hardly remember what I was doing, all of a sudden I had an irresistible compulsion to run straight into the clearing you were in,:: mumbles Tanny, regretting the surprise that stopped her from weaving adequate shieldings against the magic that had taken her.

 

She scanned the glade, and noticed a Portal shimmering in to spit out a weird-looking guy, supposedly a mage, who came straight to them to identify himself and receive the voting instructions. And she also saw some curious Pennites approaching, wondering about all the ruckus the "gandalf-guy" had made to spread the news that The Pen was honored with housing a Polling District for the Wizardry Academy of Plane-Iota-Psi-Nine.

 

Stephen grimaced, and wondered what his friends sharing the position of 'officers' were thinking of the "recruiting" method the strange wizard had used to find them. Tanny sighed, and mumbled something about the silly chanting coming out of nowhere from time to time, supposedly to remind people it was time to vote.

 

Ding-dong, wiggly-wong, polling song!

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Curiosity, the Ferret, came streaking along. He looked straight at Tanny and started barraging her with questions. Unfortunately what few answers she could give lead to at least ten more questions each.

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Tanny had seen the little ferret scurrying around and wondered what had aroused his curiosity. It seemed like Curiosity had not noticed her, and she hesitated whether to call him or not.

 

She got distracted for a few seconds by a stream of mumbled curses coming from Stephen, and before she had to time to query her friend about it, Curiosity had found her and came as surely as an arrow drawn by a Ranger.

 

::Curiosity, little friend, how are you?::

 

She could follow the series of images that came to her mind as easily as they were words, and was pleased to see the ferret had been having fun exploring the Keep and the forest. She nodded, but before she could think of any comment there came a couple questions from him.

 

::This is a... a polling station. People come to choose a person to represent them... no, erm... I mean, yes, all people... yes, I mean no, not only people, all sorts of sentient creatures I guess... ahm... a kind of Academy... eh... Academy is a place where people/sentient creatures study ... oh... ehm... no, those are booths, there's a machine in there that helps counting the votes... yea—what? Oh, don't know why purple... wait, you cannot go there when it's occupied! ... eh.. because the vote is secret... oh, because then people are more comfortable to show their true opinion... no no it's because then they wouldn't be afraid of being questioned about their choices or ... yes—no no! No one's going to punish people for their votes... that? It's a Portal.. no, I don't know where to... it's a transport system for some peopl... yes, it shimmers nicely no you cannot go there it mightbedangerous... by all gods can't you stop and breathe between questions?!::

 

Tanny tried to catch Curiosity gently between her paws, wondering whether soothing the sleek creature would also stop his barrage of questions; but in the blink of an eye she saw him scurrying away from her reach, intent on something that had called his attention.

 

Stephen's mind voice queried her about the headache he could feel starting in her, followed by another question on her well-being and how long would they still have to stay there-have-you-noticed-how-slow-the-time's-passing...

 

Tanny wanted to scream, and buried her nose between her paws, sighing.

 

::Stephen, do me a favor and shut up for some blessed minutes?::

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Minta skipped around the periphery, picking up the tune! "Ding-dong, wiggly-wong, polling song! Ding-dong, wiggly-wong, polling song!" chanted the gnomie, waving a blinking gnomie glow rod and leaving a squiggly little light trail at about knee-height to a pollster. "Ding-dong, wiggly-wong, polling song!"

 

"Is it just me or has the--" "Ding-dong, wiggly-wong, polling song!" "--chanting been speeding up--" "Ding-dong, wiggly-wong, polling song!" "--lately? . . .Oh, no. . ." That headache wasn't going away any time soon.

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Just as the chanting was about to get on his nerves, Stephen got distracted by someone scraping their throat. He turned his head in the direction of the sound and tried to smile as pleasantly as possible. Apparently he wasn't very successful, since the hand which pressed some papers into his was trembling a little.

 

"Come to vote, madam?"

 

"Yes, I have, and it's sir."

 

"Of course madam. Just a moment while we check your identity."

 

"... we?"

 

Stephen didn't answer, just held the papers in front of Tanny's face so she could check whether they were valid.

 

:: Stephen ... how am I supposed to tell the difference between forged and real identity papers of a place I don't even know? ::

 

:: Fortunately for me, Wuffie, you are the seeing-eye dog. You'll come up with something. ::

 

The ominous silence coming through their mind-link told Stephen she'd probably spend more time coming up with a way to take revenge than with a way to verify unknown identity papers, but when he felt her tail suddenly bump into his leg he snatched the papers away and handed them back to the person in front of him.

 

"There you are madam, seems to be okay. Please pick a booth that's available and cast your vote."

 

"It's sir, and how did your dog ..."

 

Stephen quickly interrupted a growl coming from Tanny at the mention of the word "dog".

 

"The booths are over there, madam. Have a nice day."

 

As the person turned away, muttering under his breath, Stephen put on his most innocent expression and started humming a cheerful tune.

 

Ding-dong, wiggly-wong, polling song ...

Edited by Venefyxatu

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Everyone freezes in place as the biggest polar bear ANYONE has ever even heard of lumbers into their midst (accompanied by a tiny, tinkling bell sound), sits down right next to the polling station and holds up a sign that reads (Why it's written in blood red is any body's guess):

 

Arctic Animals For

Global Warming

ENOUGH with the cold already!

We want to be warm too!

And begins handing out cards with the initials "AAFGW" scribbled on them (Once again, in blood red).

 

Around its' neck is a thick leather collar with a little bell and name tag that reads "CAT" (which is pronounced "See-Ay-Tee").

 

At this point, it looks down at Curiosity and softly meows.

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Curiosity in his rushing here and there happen to notice the feather and Tanny's reaction. seeing the angel, Curiosity, after a few seconds looking at the polar bear, rushed straight up the tree and over the angel's body until it reached the angel's head. securing himself, Curiosity immediately starting asking the angel questions as fast as he could. Curiosity of course can ask questions VERY fast. Edited by Giles Jordan

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Peredhil, still bemused from having run into Signe again, Portals in to vote. He's dressed in a light-grey raw silk Armani suit, comfortable orange tennis shoes with neon green laces, and wearing a tastefully small AAFGW button on his lapel. Bowing to Tanny, the Ranger, and the Angel, he shows his Ring as proof of ID, and enters the voting booth.

 

Exiting slow minutes later, he smiles in satisfaction and notes absently, Not allowed to discuss politics if you don't vote.

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A small alarm can be heard and the polar bear reaches behind itself and brings forth a small pocket watch. Looking at it and giving a small nod, the polar bear leans its' sign against the polling booth as it reaches back around and pulls these items from behind itself:

 

1 picnic blanket

1 picnic basket

3 penguins dressed in leisure suits:

1 Lime Green

1 Powder Blue

1 Red

As the polar bear sets up its' picnic, the penguins in Powder Blue and Lime Green pick up the sign and (wobbly) begin to walk in circles with it. The one in Red begins handing out AAFGW cards.

 

The polar bear removes a wine glass and bottle of red wine from the basket, along with a very large salad bowl (with a sticker on it that reads, "SALAD IS MURDER!") filled with. . . .a very big salad.

 

The polar bear begins its' lunch break (unions, go figure).

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Signe strides swiftly to the middle of the room, her handmaidens scurrying behind her. Striking a regal pose and taking a deep breath, she beams at the assembled Pennites and others.

 

"I just want to thank each and every one of you for coming out to vote for me today. As Queen of the Collective Universes, I vow that-" the succubus' speech is interrupted by one of her handmaidens. A brief whispered conference ensues, ending with Signe exclaiming "What? Queen of the Collective Universes isn't an elected post? oh! Well, in that case..."

 

"Ahem. As I was saying. As Queen of the Collective Universes, I want to thank you for coming out to vote today. I'm sure you'll select a very good consort for me, someone who will take me more than a night or two to brea - oh what now!" Her handmaiden has been trying to find something to tug on that won't make this thread fit for the Scarlett Pen. Having found a loose thread on Signe's purple leather corset, and successfully gotten the succubus' attention, she again whispers in her ear. "They're voting on WHAT? But who could possibly care about THA - oh, whatever!"

 

Annoyed, the succubus grabs two innocent bystanders and vanishes into a polling station. The curtains shake and shimmy wildly for a moment or two, then stop. A moment later the succubus exits, grabbing an "I Voted!" sticker from the hand of a paralysed volunteer and striding out, her handmaidens in quick pursuit.

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Rydia threads her way through the light display as though it were a red velvet rope. "Shiny. . .shiny! oo. . .what's this?" One ear curls into a question mark while she scans the scene, then both prick up at the sight of the AAFGW sit-in. "Excuse me! Large fluffy polar bear with the collar! Can I have a button, please?" she coos, but the polar bear turns a few notches further away and pointedly closes its jaws around a mouthful of salad, while the red penguin tucks an AAFGW card into the top of Rydia's left boot. Rydia twitches her boot impatiently and mutters, "Oo, move away, you're nearly a complementary color!", prodding the pengie in the backside with the toe.

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A crimson spotlight flashes down upon the portal voting booth, catching the attention of numerous pennites and even causing the paralyzed sticker-bearing mage to jerk his head slightly to the left. The light brightens and begins closing in as “Ding-Dong, Wiggly-Wong, Polling Song” is heard chanted in the distance, sung in unison to the tune of the communist ode to Stalin, “Thank You, Great Leader.” Pennites and wizards alike begin backing away a bit as a troop of troglyodytes marches onto the scene, dressed in red and bearing sharp sticks with red flags.

 

“Diiiinnnng-doooooonnnng, wiggly wooooonnnnng, polling sooooooo-oonnnn-nnnnnnnnn-nngggggg!”

 

A shaky catapult with a wide platform in front of its arsenal slowly rolls onto the scene behind the sparse rows of troglyodytes, creaking and shuddering ever so often as it passes over a bump. Above the unstable arms and chipped red paint of the catapult, a wholly capitalistic flag bearing a geld piece insignia on it flies high. The wooden machine chugs along until its within range of the voting portal, where it comes to a slow grinding halt. The troglyodytes immediately stop their song and march and turn so that they’re facing the catapult, their webbed hands raised to their chests.

 

On the platform at the front of the catapult, Wyvern shifts out of his stool of a throne, spreading his arms and grinning like a true politician. The overgrown lizard adjusts his polar bear fur hat and coat (which has an anti-global warming voucher sticking from its pocket), and makes sure that his red geld insignia tail flag is properly tied in place. Once he's sure he looks presentable, the almost dragon pulls out a geld-painted megaphone and lifts it to his snout.

 

"Ladiessss and gentlemen, comrades in geld, beloved voting public!" Wyvern glances left and right over the considerable turn-out, suppressing his grins for half of a frown. "I would like to bring to your attention that the candidatesss for the Wizard Academy of Plane Iota-Psi-Nine are all corrupt beaurocrats, bent on exploiting the inssstitution for geld and personal gain! And sssince I'm the King of corrupt beaurocrats bent on exploiting institutions, I suggest that you refuse to comply with their voting ballets, and turn your allegiance to me inssstead."

 

Wyvern picks up his tail and waves the flag tied to it, pacing back and forth on his platform and gesturing to the crowd.

 

"My radical Red Party is focussed on only the purest forms of capitalism and exploitation, and will start up at 7:00, in front of Tanuchan's place, after the whole voting thing. And sssince you'll have elected me, we can draw geld from the Wizard Academy once the party's run out of free Bruteweiser." Wyvern flicks his forked tongue in and out quickly with a grin. "Alssso, as the new Wizard Academy leader, I swear I will use all of my ability to last 4 daysss as Signe's 'political' consort. Just no promisesss if she breaks out the Marilyn Monroe dress."

 

Wyvern tugs at his polar bear fur collar at the thought, tearing off a tuft of it by accident and tossing it aside. Examining the various spectators, Wyvern's gaze comes to a halt as it becomes fixed on Curiosity the Ferret.

 

"You there!" Wyvern points at Curiosity with an excited grin. "You look like you have quessstions concerning my campaign. Which is perfect, sssince I packed a bunch of free Almost Dragonic Brand Promotional Propaganda Pamphlets™ for just the occasion! Here, I'll send you some, entirely on the house."

 

Wyvern gestures to two troglyodytes, who load up the head of the catapult with a giant sealed bag full of pamphlets. The firing arm of the catapult is slowly pulled back as Curiosity continues to ask questions left and right, his sweet and innocent face showing no signs of understanding the danger of the situation...

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Tanny, who had up to know been observing all the comings and goings with either an amused look or with suffering groans — and relaying them to Stephen — dropped on the floor with a very audible growling groan.

 

::Wolf-Lady, I did hear our lizard friend?::

 

The groan in Stephen's mind-voice is perfectly audible too, and Tanny just sighs. Then something clicks on her mind, and she jumps on all fours ready to run... except that Stephen grabs her by the tail.

 

::You cannot...hey!:: Stephen's voice is startled as he feels the fangs just graze his knuckles, releasing Tanny's tail very promptly as she refrained her instinct to snap off the offending hand... just enough. ::That was not very ladylike. Though seeing who has just come and gone, I can perfectly understand your wish to be out of here.::

 

::Featherbrained ranger... that lizard said something about some other thing being in front of my place! I...::

 

::You need to stay there to be run over by those troglodytes?::

 

Tanny huffed, rolling eyes. ::Obviously not, featerbrained one. I need to dump all those mannequin limbs he's been "gracefully" putting on my way for all these years back on dear Wyvern's head. C'mon, let me go?::

 

Stephen pondered, a slow grin coming out as several ways of getting rid of limbs crossed his mind. Then he sighed and shook his head, ::But... we need to keep the voting going... and you need to be here, you're my seeing-eye dog!:

 

::I'm a wolf, if you have not noticed yet... and we do have coffee breaks.:: Tanny grins smugly, as she sees from Stephen's face that he's considering the idea.

Edited by Tanuchan

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Rydia's ears droop as she surveys the tottering platform from top to bottom, and stress frizzles spring out of her upswept coiffure. "Ohhhh no. . .it can't be a red season! I hate changing fashion!" Backlit by red light, herself clad in green, the colors seem to drain right out of the elf's hair and clothing, yet the vivid red lettering of the AAFGW card is a point of light near her knee. Her toe stops prodding the penguin as its leisure suit drinks the light and gives off the aura of a power suit. Rydia looks around desperately for somewhere less red, and spies the polling booth! She's three steps away from reaching the curtains when security steps in and asks for proof of identity. "Proof of what?" The winning, vacant look doesn't work, and Rydia is propelled gently in the direction of Tanuchan, Stephen, and Angel.

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The red leisure suit clad penguin drops like a Brazilian soccer star from the slight prod in back from Rydia and begins flopping and writhing in IMMENSE (feigned?!) pain. His lime green and powdered blue clad cohorts drop their sign and join him. The polar bear looks up and sees what is going on, reaches behind itself and pulls forth (carefully noting this interruption in its' lunch break):

 

1 walrus dressed in a running suit with LOTS of gold chains

2 otters dressed in business suits with bow ties

The polar bear continues its' lunch break while the walrus runs to the aid of the penguins - all of whom are now wearing neck braces and various casts. The walrus begins orating on the plight of the penguins and (by extension) ALL Arctic animals. How they are downtrodden and treated harshly by individuals such as Wyvern - Rydia being nothing more then an unwitting pawn in Wyvern's schemes.

 

The otters then serve Wyvern with cease and desist orders and papers naming him as defendant in a multi-billion geld civil law suit. Rydia is served with summons to appear in said civil law suit as a witness for the plaintiff.

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"I sssee..." Wyvern strokes his chin as he reads over the cease and desist order, the catapult cocked back and ready to fire but waiting for his final signal. The almost dragonic Red party leader strokes his chin and nods over the various clauses and terms of the lawsuit, then adjusts his polar bear fur hat and folds the sheet in half. He admires the folded sheet before creasing it again diagonally, and he folds it several more times until its been transformed into a neat little Red Party paper airplane. Wyvern scribbles a quick geld insignia on the airplane's side and tosses it into the air, cocking his head back with a triumphant laugh until the plane turns and crash-lands on his horns a few seconds later. He clears his throat and turns to the legal otters with an awkward grin. "*Ahem* Forgive me, my good otters, but the Red party system does not follow your conventional sssystems of law. But worry not, for there is hope for you and your kind. Vote for my party, and your roads will be paved in dam wood. Dam wood stolen from your dams... but dam wood never the less!"

 

Wyvern grins over the confused faces of the otters and wastes no more time, raising his tail flag in the air and waving it in a swift "Fire the Propaganda!" motion. The catapult promptly fires its giant ball of pamphlets off in the direction of Curiousity while the surrounding pennites watch dumbfounded, scratching their heads over the spectacle. The pamphlet sack gains velocity as it soars through the air, narrowly missing the Naked Angel and its ferret target mid-air as it comes plummeting down towards an unknown destination. The surrounding spectators let out a collective gasp as the ball crashes down upon the polling booth's ballot box with a sickening *CRUNCH*, sending votes flying through the air like political party confetti. The booth workers stare in horror for a moment, then go nuts as they scramble to recover as many ballots as possible.

 

"Errrr..." Wyvern winces over the results of his missed shot, then considers for a moment before grinning and hissing through his loudspeaker. "Well! As you can clearly see, there is no question that the Red Party is one of the most popular and influential in recent memory. The ballots are simply overflowing with propaganda! Pleassse vote for the Red party today; your liver will hate you for it, but that'll be the last thing on your mind with the Wizard Academy of Plane-Iota-Psi-Nine buying you free drinksss. In summary: vote for me, vote for me, vote for me!"

 

Wyvern blows kisses to the masses from his platform while his troglyodyte followers pass through the crowds, carrying sign-up sheets and hassling bystanders to abandon the polling booths in favor of the "Radical Red."

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Startled by the projectile, Curiousity loses his grip and starts to fall. on the way down, He converts to plush form which renders him immune to falling and blunt trama. Upon landing and seeing the mess made he helps his friend Tanny gather the ballots.

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