Sweetcherrie Posted September 8, 2005 Report Share Posted September 8, 2005 (edited) You think… You’ve got the right to hurt That you’re the one to say What one and all should do That all should go your way You think… That you’re the only one To tell how things are done The sad thing in this is That you’re so very wrong You see I think… That life is give and take That by giving you receive But, no worry I’ll be on my way Now that must be relief I think… That you’ll end up alone No one to watch your back If you don’t change a bit You’ll take the lonely track Edited September 8, 2005 by Sweetcherrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Panther Posted September 8, 2005 Report Share Posted September 8, 2005 Very good! I'm not one to usually comment (especially on poetry), but this poem, I can really relate to. I know a few people who are the way your poem describes. My hat's off to you for this work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted September 8, 2005 Report Share Posted September 8, 2005 I know some too. And this captures their reality well... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beautiful Nightmare Posted September 9, 2005 Report Share Posted September 9, 2005 (edited) i think we all know people like that and sweet i just made up a really good tune to that so i can make it into a song and be famous and give you half the profits if you wish i love the poem *hugs*i dont make up tunes to everything so you know its special Edited September 9, 2005 by Arwen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetcherrie Posted September 9, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2005 Thank you so much for replying I'm glad to hear that the poem touched something....unfortunately we all probably know these sort of people, and if only I had the strength I would help each and every one of them to not end up on that lonely path.... In the end I would already be glad if I managed to spread some friendship Thanks again for taking the time to read and reply. *huggles* Sweet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appy Posted September 10, 2005 Report Share Posted September 10, 2005 *adds her voice to the comments already made and echo's them* But you already knew I like it The one thing still bothering me is the third line in the third stanza. After asking, I now know what you mean by it, but it sounds as if you're going towards instead of the leaving that you meant. The change that you proposed in chat would make that a lot clearer and definitely 'finish' the poem.. Good job, and yes, we all know such people at some point in our lives... thanks for sharing and also for asking me to work on it with you, even though we didn't actually finish You did a great job after that on your own! *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetcherrie Posted September 10, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2005 (edited) ack I'm so sorry Appy, thanks for the great help, you always are.... *hugs and then hits herself for forgetting to put that down here* Edited September 10, 2005 by Sweetcherrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appy Posted September 10, 2005 Report Share Posted September 10, 2005 (edited) *tisks and stops Sweet from hitting herself* no need for that silly *huggle* Oh, and sorry, appearantly there wasn't a real alternative yet for that line... erm.. yeah.. my opinion still stands though Edited September 10, 2005 by Appy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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