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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

The Concert


Black9

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The Concert was set. Signs were posted in every knook and cranny of the Pen's courtyard. "You are cordially invited to what could very well be the most amazing extravaganza of musical talent this world has ever seen. The concert will take place in the Cina Dome located in your friendly neighborhood courtyard. Bring your friends! Bring your family! Don't miss this once in a lifetime event!"

 

The dome was set up in a corner of the courtyard. It was quite large and easy to identify. Upon the sphere of the dome was a large white and red banner with the words..."Now playing... For one day only...the one...the only...the magnificent...Travis." Along the dome walls were decorative statues of a young bard playing a golden lyre. In the front of the dome one was greeted by a large stone double door. The doorway had two men in black suits sporting eletronic ear pieces. These men held an emptiness of expression upon their dead serious faces. It was clear that this was Travis's guard.

 

The young bard was seen just in front of the doorway...his clothing that of bright colors. These colors were mismatched and clashing, but weren't all genious quirky in one way or another? Under his arm, he held a beautiful golden lyre with the finest of strings. His voice could be heard calling out to any who passed by the dome and with a smile he spoke.

 

Travis-"Weclome good travelers to my first and only winter festival concert! The cover charge is a mere five...er...ten geld to enter!"

 

The Inside of the Dome was a sight to see. Golden statues of Cupid and his bow lined the walls...along with fine works of painted art beneath them. The Place had a classy vibe as English waiters...the kind you always see on tv...patiently awaited the costumer's arrival. The scene was set in one large room...filled with a few extra security guards for Travis's protection. The center of the room was an open dance floor lined with tables filled with only the finest of feasts...as well as a few simple meals for those that prefer the more basic. Centered at the far end of the room...stood the stage. It was built of a fine oak and was concealed from sight by that of a large red velvet curtain. To either side of the stage could be seen an entrance to the back stage. Only those with back stage passes were allowed to enter this region and talk with the star himself. Each entrance was guarded by two sercurity guards each and neither looked like the best conversationalists. Travis held three back stage passes, but he was the one to choose the lucky participants to receive them.

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Travis was beginning to worry. Why was nobody showing up? Was this not a community of artists? Surely they would want to see him, the one, the only, the magnificent Travis! Just as he was considering posting and personally handing out more signs, a figure approached.

 

Venefyxatu, still out of breath after the Conga line in the Cabaret Room, approached the dome slowly, leaning heavily on his staff. He stood looking at the structure, the banners and the people for a few moments to let it all sink in before approaching. When he did approach he immediately walked up to Travis.

 

Travis-"Welcome, welcome! I see that you are one who can truly appreciate a concert as marvellous as the one you might witness tonight! Might I suggest that you go and find yourself a nice spot and have something to eat while we wait for more art-lovers like yourself to show up?

After paying, that is..."

Venefyxatu-"I think I'll ..." *wheeze* "... do just that. And don't... " *wheeze* "... worry - the people here love art, I'm ... " *wheeze* "... sure they'll show up soon."

 

Venefyxatu dug 10 geld from his pockets and handed it to Travis before moving to enter the dome.

 

Travis-"Oh, and sir?"

Venefyxatu-"Yes?"

Travis-"You might want to catch your breath... you'll need every last scrap of it, for my performance shall take your breath away!"

 

With a grin, Venefyxatu entered the dome. If Travis was really as good as he said he was, this was going to be a concert to remember.

Edited by Venefyxatu
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Peredhil sat at Lady Celes' Cafe sipping ice water, happily recovering. What a romp!

 

Yin-Yin's guitar riffs reminded him of something... something...

 

TRAVIS' Concert!

 

Popping up and searching down the nice waiter to give their tip to them, he ambled off to the Courtyard.

 

Paying his ten geld, he was in such a happy mood that he gave Travis another ten.

 

Here's for me, and for the next person as well,

When they pay, they're paying on down the line.

A Festival opportunity to give while receiving is so fine.

If you don't want to advertise that, I'll never tell.

 

With a wink, he accepted his ticket and confirmed the time the performance would start, then headed away to check on his Kissing Booth and ensure some last minute responsibilities when met.

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"A concert? Sounds wonderful!"

 

Ayshela scurries over to Black9 and drops ten geld into his hand. "I've been hoping someone would have a musical event! I can't wait!"

 

Beaming happily and boucing slightly in excitement, Ayshela hurries to set her blanket where she'll be sure to have clear sight of the performer.

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Travis was happy that more and more guests were arriving. In waiting for his guest of honor, he elaborated on the games and events to open once the concert began. (The concert will be held inside just for general information.) The doors opened to reveal three events. Travis then spoke with a clear announcer's voice.

 

Travis-"Welcome! The concert will begin once a few more guests arrive. In the mean time, feel free to take part in two of our three events. On the left, you'll see our master chef. You may challenge him to a battle at your own convenience. The battle will work as so. You name the meal...any type of meal...if you can name it...the chef can make it. Is that right, Pedro?" Pedro played with one side of his thin curled mustashe for a moment as he responed to the question.

 

Pedro-"Oui...Oui...I am a master of the kitchen! I have learned of the spice of life to is finest degree."

 

Travis-"Finish your meal in one sitting and earn yourself five(real) geld. Only one win a customer." The chef was stationed at a large, round table with a covered platter the size of which they had never seen, let alone imagined.

 

Pedro-"Oh, ho, oh! Challenge me if you like...I have never been defeated! It's my pride as a master chef."

 

Travis-"Our second event is that of a more random nature. To your right, you will see the round spindle that will be filled with names of our various participants At the concert's end...if I pick your name...you've just earned ten(real) geld. How about it...do you feel lucky? Our last event will be that of a dance off. Either me or a member of my crew will come around at a random time of the concert and if we pick the lucky couple...you will win a backstage pass. This pass will be special as it comes in two parts. Each winner is to take one and feel free to wander and mingle with whomever you like. Certain constrictions, of course." Turning one last time...Travis continued.

 

Travis-"Oh and for being such a great audience... you will will receive an additional five(real) geld for simply enjoying the concert. How can you pass up such an offer as that? You will be given this by the suits at the door as you enter." Turning Venefyxatu's way...Travis tossed a five geld coin over his general direction. The throw was inaccurate as it missied Vene completely...still...Vene received it with a smile.

 

(If it doesn't say (real) by it, feel free to do whatever you like. Bear with me...it's my first event:))

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Wyvern drifts around the Pen carnival like a phantom, swaying back and forth in a mixture of exhaustian and slight inebreation. The overgrown lizard turns his snout to the sky and shuts his eyes for a moment in order to simply breath in the scents of the carnival, only to suddenly be consumed by the delicious aromas that drift from the halls of Travis' multi-platinum debut Carnival Concert. The reptilian Elder slowly lets his nose guide him towards the source of the food, his insatiable almost dragonic appetite suddenly becoming aroused at the smell of honey-coated roast lamb shanks with potatoes and gravey and chocolate sprinkles on the side. He walks towards the banquet quarters of the concert as if in a dream, his eyes remaining shut as he weaves past the two security guards at the front door, who mark him down as having paid thanks to Peredhil's generous donation. Wyvern eventually comes to a halt when he reaches the large banquet table of the event, and opens his eyes only to be dazzled by the decor of Travis' dining hall.

 

"Well" hisses Wyvern gleefully, quickly taking a seat at the table and rubbing his scaly claws together. "I must say, this certainly beats the typical disasters I get myself into when I walk around blindly, like tripping and falling into puddles of water or signing the wrong contracts for tax rebates."

 

The overgrown lizard scratches his head, then turns towards a large man in a chef outfit that stands beside his seat.

 

"Ssssay, you wouldn't happen to be able to tell me where I am currently, would you?"

 

"Where you are?!" cries Pedro, stroking his moustache thoroughly in shock and aggravation. "Mon Dieu! Where do you come from, lizard? This is the banquet hall of the one, the only, the spectacular, the phenomonal... Travis!"

 

Upon exclaiming this, a large mob of female groupies lets out an enormous shriek and races through the room, moving in a circle around the table and turning back in the direction that they came when they find no sign of Travis. Wyvern nods to this calmly, tossing on a large white bib that rests on the table in front of him and yawning:

 

"Never heard of him."

 

"SACRE BLEU!" cries out the chef in astonishment, causing several waiters to accidentally drop their platters. "How could you have not heard of Travis?! He is known throughout all corners of the lands!"

 

"I dunno, I tend to focus on the more alternative stuff, like the Racouolettes y'know?" Wyvern rubs his scaly claws together. "Anyway, I'm sure I'll become familiar with Travis over the course of my stay here, if this is his banquet hall. Now, may I get to ordering?"

 

"Oh ho ho ho!" laughs Pedro, taking out a notepad. "Why certainly... in fact, if you finish your meal in one sitting, there might be a special prize for you this evening. What will you be ordering this evening, monsieur?"

 

"Well" hisses Wyvern, grinning and taking in a deep breath. "I think I'll start out with a tossed jumbo seahorse salad with extra barnicle sprinkles and a dolphin fin on the side, two extra crispy chocolate malted turtle doves with a plate of sweet and sweeter sauce to dip them into, a charbroiled unicorns horn - crunchy and with a touch of triceritop spice, a miniature sardine and pixie wing pizza with extra cheese and a touch of magic fairy dust, an open ocean platter of fried siren monster tentacle with squid and octopus ink sauce, a dish of stir-fried cockatrice pan broiled in obsidian pebbles, a plate of roasted frog legs from former prince charmings, a small cup of witches brew - hold the eye of newts, a slice of fine manticore with the little snake tail as a decoration, a leg of fawn so scrumptious that you can taste the music in it, and a large plate of curly onion cheese doodles please."

 

Pedro wipes the sweat from his brow and nods, jotting down the last of the food items.

 

"Will that be all, Mr. Almost Dragon?"

 

"What do you mean 'will that be all?'" answers Wyvern, looking somewhat dismayed. "Those were the appetizers!"

 

;-)

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Guido stalked through the Carnival looking for Nuncio until he heard "free food."

 

Making his way into the Concert area, he fumbled through his pockets until he found enough money to pay the entry fee.

 

To his dismay, he found Wyvern there before him. Wyvern was to free food as a fire is to gasoline.

 

"Would it be possible to get a lettuce, carrot, parsley, cabbage, turnip, alfalfa, dandelion salad? I t'ink I could chow down on dat."

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Gryphon drops from the sky to make a perfect landing in front of the guards... one of them slightly twitches an eyebrow as the only sign that they might have been impressed with the fancy flying.

 

Grinning at them Gryphon hands over the entry fee from his pouch and bounds into the tent looking for entertainment.

 

With a brief glance he takes in the spindle for the random name draw and the dance floor before his eyes settle on the chef's table... and Wyvern sitting in front of it ordering.

 

"...a slice of fine manticore with the little snake tail as a decoration, a leg of fawn so scrumptious that you can taste the music in it, and a large plate of curly onion cheese doodles please."

 

Pedro wipes the sweat from his brow and nods, jotting down the last of the food items.

 

"Will that be all, Mr. Almost Dragon?"

 

"What do you mean 'will that be all?'" answers Wyvern, looking somewhat dismayed. "Those were the appetizers!"

Gryphon laughs to himself and sits back to watch the pre-concert entertainment while waiting for the chef to be free(ish) so that he can order a haunch of venison.

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Pedro was shocked as the Almost Dragon's almost order almost took up five sheets of paper:) Turning his attention then to Guido...Pedro quickly jotted down his order before speaking in an extremely energetic voice. Placing the orders on his clip pad in an orderly fashion...Pedro spoke with much gumption.

 

Pedro-"Oui, oui, your orders will be right up in two shakes of a lamb's tail." With this said, Pedro rushed off to the kitchen...his somewhat large belly almost knocking over a few waiters...causing them to drop a few more dishes. Pedro turned only to see a few disgruntled waiters staring his way with small...ok...a large look of irritation and ran backstage as if his life depended on it. Backstage was quite a large area filled with a second floor...the kitchen...Travis's dressing room and a few other miscellaneous rooms that I have no intention of describing at such a point in time. Rushing into the kitchen, Pedro stopped dead in his tracks. The kitchen was perhaps the largest room in the building...it would have to be to have the ability to prepare any meal:)

 

Pedro-"Oh ho ho...it's a magic time!" Taking a quick glance at the order slips...Pedro...of course being the master chef that he is...quickly memorized the orders and took three deep breaths. "In with the good, out with the bad...in with the good, out with the bad...in with the good, out with the bad." It was then from the dining hall...one could almost hear a...meep, meep! Though they could have sworn that it was their imagination. Chopping sounds of amazing speed echoed through the kitchen...into the backstage and out to the dining hall as the tossed jumbo seahorse salad with extra barnicle sprinkles and a dolphin fin on the side was prepared. The mixing of fresh chocolate being coated over two extra crispy chocolate malted turtle doves was the next part of the order to be prepared. Before moving on...Pedro motioned back to the first part and double checked the dolphin fin. The guests could almost imagine the speed the chef was moving as he finished up on the dolphin fin and finely decorated the two extra crispy chocolate malted turtle doves with a side plate of sweet and sweeter sauce. Pedro moved on by beginning to charbroil a unicorn horn placing next to it a touch of triceretop spice. Leaving this be, for the moment...to properly prepare itself...Pedro started to flip the dough for the miniature pizza with extra cheese. Adding to it sardine and pixie wing...as well as a touch of magic fairy dust...Pedro once again returned to the charbroiled unicorn's horn. Observing that it was now crunchy...Pedro added the touch of triceretop spice. Motioning back to the Pizza, the miniature sardine and pixie wing pizza with extra cheese and a touch of magic fairy dust was placed in the oven at exactly the right tempature...that the oven just magically seemed to be:) A flash was seen exiting the building as Pedro almost knocked the Almost Dragon almost over and located an open ocean siren and using a persuasive manner, obtained a tentacle. The flash came back through...this time setting the Almost Dragon almost up right once more and back into the kitchen he went. Beginning to fry up an open ocean siren's monster tentacle...Pedro palced next to it some squid and octopus ink sauce for a later reminder as he returned to the miniature sardine and pixie wing pizza with extra cheese and a touch of magic fairy dust...which was now firmly prepared as he took the pizza out and placed it as ready to serve("breathe" Now that was a run-on if I've ever seen one:) "breathe"). Moving on...Pedro started to prepare a dish of stir-fried cockatrice pan broiled in obsidian pebbles. Leaving this for the moment, he checked back on the open ocean platter of fried siren monster tentacle...which was frying quite nicely and sensing that it was properly prepared, seasoned it with squid and octopus ink sauce...placing it as complete next to the rest of the appetizor. The flash was seen once again exiting the building and into the fairy tale world. It was here when he noticed a princess about to kiss a frog and quickly pushed the princess aside...stealing the frog away at the same time. The princess called her guards on Pedro as he quickly hastened out of the fairy tale land and back to the pen. This time barely missing a few participants of the concert. Beginning to roast the frog legs, Pedro turned back to the dish of stir-fried cockatrice panbroiled in obsidian pebbles. Observing that this dish was finished...it was placed in the correct location. Panting...Pedro started to notice all the weight he was losing with all this running and exercise. Not giving it a second thought, though, Pedro once again wooshed out with a clear...meep meep! The guests turned to see his pathway curl into a formation of a rolling hillside behind him as he did so. Rushing back into fairy tale world...Pedro trampled over the princess's army with little trouble...this being that he didn't even notice them:) Finding a house made of gingerbread...Pedro snacked on the wall...creating an opening to get inside. The witch spoke the words...

 

Witch-"Double, double, toil and trouble...cauldren burn and something bubble." A short cackle later, the witch turned only to be knocked into her oven by the mistaken move of a chef that couldn't stop! Taking the small cup of witche's brew from her table while making sure there was no eye of newt...Pedro took one more bite of the house before zipping back over the princess's army that had just gotten to their feet...only to be trampled over once again and into the kitchen once more. Rechecking the roasted frog legs, Pedro deemed them finished and placed them corresspondingly. Slicing a bit of fine manticore, Pedro began the cooking process...placing next to it a snake tail. Turning then to the leg of fawn...Pedro prepared it so scrumptious that you could taste the music in it. By the time the fawn was prepared and set upon the table with the other appetizers...the sliced manticore was completed and placed with a little snake tail as a decoration. Shortly after came the large plate of curly onion cheese doodles.

 

With one order completed...Pedro turned to his second order. Quickly and oh so delicously creating a LARGE platter of a lettuce, carrot, parsley, cabbage, turnip, alfalfa and dandelion salad. A team of waiters quickly entered and exited the kitchen in a timely fashion and presented both Guido and the Almost Dragon with their almost orders. Pedro wiped the sweat from his brow as he slowly exited the backstage and entered the dining hall once more. The Chef looked fit as a fiddle as one of the waiters put up a before version in the form of a cardboard cutout. After noticing the major difference from the before and after shots...the guests turned to Pedro as he proudly stated...

 

Pedro-"Work out...eat right...my cooking...and you to can be in the best shape of your life!" Taking out a book name, 'Working Out with Pedro', the chef spoke once more.

 

Pedro-"Do you want to know more? Buy my book...only ten geld a copy!"

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Guido nibbled on his salad, testing, tasting the various parts. His large brown eyes grew even larger and he pulled out ten geld with one paw (while waving the other paw in a fending off gesture in Wyvern's general direction).

Handing the money to Pedro, he shook his head wordlessly and went back to eating.

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"'Working Out with Pedro' eh?" mumbles Wyvern between munches, stuffing his mouth full of curly onion cheese doodles with one claw and reaching for a chocolate malted turtle dove with the other. "Shame I'm allergic to exercise, otherwise I just might have bootlegged it Almost Dragonic style."

 

Pedro shakes his head and sighs at this, adjusting his apron and fiddeling with his moustach at the lizards rapid eating techniques. Wyvern sticks a series of frog legs on his horns for future snacking and grabs the charbroiled unicorn horn, crumbling it with his claws and sprinkling it over the seahorse salad before burying his face into the platter. Devouring it in a manner of minutes, the hungry lizard then turns to the sardine and pixie wing pizza, dropping the frog legs onto it from his horns and folding it into a little ball before eating it whole. Letting out a belch of flames and turning to the siren monster tenticle platter, he hisses:

 

"Now then, while I eat *sllurrrrrrp,* for main courses I'd *munch munch* like an extra large platter of gorgon to compliment this delicious cockatrice. *chew chew chew* You can make that with some spicey volcanic ash and a touch of former warrior statue sprinkles. *gulp, chomp, munch* Then I'd also like a whole sea serpent, gargantuan style, stuffed with hammer head shark and perhaps a bit of leftover mead from past shipwrecks." *slurp, munch, munch.*

 

Pedro nods silently and adjusts his chef cap, taking out another notepad and jotting down the lizards orders. He gapes in awe as he notices that the lizard has already finished his manticore slices, and is greedily gulping down the witches brew.

 

*Burrrrrrrp* "Then, I'd like a large flame elemental and golem combo platter, served a la flambe of course, with just a hint of magma flavoring. *munch, gobble, gulp* I also want a huge bowl of Kraken chowder, served New Forjibord style, with a side order of little saltine crackers. *gobble, slurp, chew, much* Then, how about a-"

 

Wyvern pauses in his eating frenzy for a moment and frowns, tossing the last of the cheese doodles into his mouth as he pulls up the platter of fawn leg and examines it carefully. Slapping his scaly forehead with a claw, the lizard turns to Pedro and hisses:

 

"Awww drat, sorry, I think I misordered." Wyvern frowns, his lower lip trembling. "I knew there was something wrong with my order... I meant that I wanted a leg of satyr so scrumptious that the music seeps through, not a leg of fawn. I guess the two are similar, but I'll unfortunately have to pass on this dish."

 

Wyvern shoves the dish to the side and proceeds to devour the last of the chocolate malted turtle doves and slurp down the final siren monster tentacle, leaving the table in front of him empty apart from the leg of fawn which sits untouched.

 

"To top off my entrees" continues the lizard, adjusting his bib. "I'd also like half of a chimera, broiled in rare hydra drool, with tartar sauce and potatoes. Next, I'd like a good ol fashioned plate of macoroni and tri-tusked wart hog, smothered in troglyodyte sauce with the tusks still in it for marination. I'd also like an ogre club sandwich, as well a side of order of leg of satyr if any are available."

 

Pedro strokes his moustach in a calm manner as he finishes jotting down the order, boastfully laughing at the lizards monstrous appetite. He stops laughing, however, when the lizard turns towards Guido and points to his platter of salad, hissing:

 

"Ssssssay Guido, I don't suppose you'd be willing to share a bit of your salad with me would ya?"

 

;-)

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Pedro snapped his fingers as a waiter took the last platter away. The master cook was quite surprised...he'd not seen a appetite like this since...since himself! Pedro donned a goofy grin as he took the order and ran off to the kitchen. Before he left though, he almost reminded the almost dragon that if he helps another with his meal...no prize will be earned.

 

Taking on a new style of travel, Pedro focused his mind in the lotus position and vanished from the kitchen in an moment's time. He reappeared within a gorgon's lair and proceeded to go all ninja on it. The butcher knife flew from his hands and into the air in various spectacular manners. The fight went on only a few seconds as Pedro was pushed for time and before long he teleported to a volcano where he collected some spicey volcanic ash. Now proceeding to the Olympian times...Pedro approached the statue of Hercules...and using a large axe... crushed the thing. Hercules saw this as the demi god came after Pedro with a vengeance. Knowing he wouldn't stand a chance against a demi god...Pedro quickly collected the touch of former warrior statue sprinkles and warped back to the kitchen. The extra large platter of gorgon was set to prepare as the spicey volcanic ash and touch of former warrior statue sprinkles were placed beside it for memory. Using mind over matter, Pedro sent himself to the very location where a sea serpent lived and thrived. The gargantuan sea serpent took quite a beating as it wasn't so easy to kill. Pedro, ofcourse...was far up to the task! Quickly taking out a passing by hammer head shark...Pedro stuffed the gargantuan sea serpent and warped both him and the serpent back to the kitchen. It was a very large kitchen! Setting the sea serpent up for preparation...Pedro turned to the extra large platter of gorgon and adding some spicey volcanic ash and a touch of former warrior statue sprinkles placed the dish as completed then moved onto the next item of business. Realizing he'd passed a ship wreck on his travels...Pedro quickly collected a bit of leftover mead and set it next to the Gorgon platter. Traveling back to the volcano...now becoming active...Pedro picked up a hint of magma flavoring and vanished just seconds before he became a permanent part of the volcano. Vanishing once more...the master chef found himself in the realm of a large flame elemental and not to mention a golem, Pedro allowed them to fight amongst themselves as he added various cooking items to the mix including the hint of magma flavoring from his kitchen. This produced a la flambe style platter of a large flame elemental and golem combo...which was then located in the finished section of the kitchen along with the whole sea serpent, gargantuan style, stuffed with hammer head shark. Preparing the huge bowl of Kraken chowder, served New Forjibord style, with a side order of little saltine crackers was a snap as it was then placed in the finished area of the kitchen along with the rest of the meal. Once again bending the rules of time and space...Pedro projected himself to the very location of a chimera and slew it with little trouble...hey...Pedro slew a GARGANTUAN SEA SERPENT for crying out loud! Broiling the chimera in rare hydra drool...which he just happen to have on him...one never knows when he'll need some rare hydra drool...ya know? Adding to the selected platter some tartar sauce and well prepared potatoes...the dish was placed along the others as completed. Pedro then left this plane of existance only to re-emerge once again in the spot of a tri-tusked warthog's home. The warthog put up more a fight then Pedro thought...but in the end was a meal ticket for those that asked. Carefully, but hastily preparing the plate of macoroni and tri-tusked wart hog, smothered in troglyodyte sauce with the tusks still in it for marination...it also was completed. After the preparation of the ogre club sandwich, as well a side of order of leg of satyr was prepared...the monsterous meal was taken out to the dinning hall by a small army of waiters...the gargantuan sea serpent magicaly teleported onto the table. This being that it was too big for the doors! Pedro walked out with a new book.

 

Pedro-"You can also purchase my new book..."Mind Over Matter". Have you ever wanted to push the bounderies of time and space? Buy my book for only ten geld and you can!"

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Guido squeaked and jumped as high as the ten-foot-tall dominion tapping his shoulder. By the time he'd come down, he'd twisted so that his snub-nosed revolver was pointed at Knight.

He hostlered the gun quickly as he looked up at the laughing angelic being.

 

"Doan youse DO dat! I nearly dropped pellets!" He then gave lie to his indignation by giving the big guy a hug.

 

Turning to Wyvern, he responded, "Sure, youse can have what's left."

 

Eyes gleaming at the notion of a continued free meal, Wyvern bounced his bulging stomach over to the salad plate. Guido was uncomfortably reminded of an cobra assassin who'd eaten a cousin of his, despite his cousin being bigger than the snake. Dat's some stretchin'!

 

Wyvern drooled slightly, and then recoiled in disappointment. With shaking claw, he speared the one sliver of lettuce remaining on the platter.

 

"Gee, thanks Guido."

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Wyvern glumly pops the tiny leaf of lettuce into his mouth, nodding to Guido and then turning in glee as Pedro's army of waiters marches into the dining room with his meal. Rubbing his scaly claws together in anticipation and grinning in approval, the lizard tightens the bib around his neck and hisses:

 

"'Mind Over Matter,' eh? Well, as long as it isn't about minding your manners, it sounds like it could be some potentially bootleggable material. Now, if you'll excuse me, it'sss time to eat."

 

With that, Wyvern jumps out of his seat and dives straight into the mouth of the gargantuan sea serpent, causing several waiters to jump as he sets about devouring it from the inside. Pedro silently strokes his moustach and watches in fascination as the sea serpent slowly begins losing its fat and flesh, nodding in approval at the lizards eating methods as its bones slowly begin collapsing until only a thin layer of scales remains. Wyvern pops out of these scales and immediatly turns towards the gorgon platter, dislodging its horns as to not obstruct his eating and savouring the exceptional taste of its statue pebbles. Once he's finished chewing on the last of its hooves, the lizard grins and turns towards the chimera as he breaks out the serious silverware. Cutting off each of its three heads using a sword and a pitchfork, the reptilian Elder sniffs them to assure that the distinct flavouring of hydra drool is there, then sets about slowly chewing on each of them. He saves the tail of the once-mighty beast for last, consuming it in a single slurp and licking his scaly lips in pleasure. The lizard lets out an enormous belch as he makes his way across the table to the ogre club sandwich, opening it and stuffing it with some of the flame elemental and golem platter before consuming the monstrous affair in a single bite. The waiters back away as the lizard suddenly begins racing around the room in pain, clutching his throat due to the heat of the flame elemental and golem components of the sandwich until he's washed it down with some of the shipwreck mead. Wyvern then takes the leg of satyr and tosses it into the the remains of the flame elemental and golem platter, eating them in unison and bouncing up and down due to the heat. The reptilian Elder washes it down with the remainder of the mead before crawling back across the table to his seat, letting out an exhausted gasp as he collapses into it and beginning to dig into the macoroni and tri-tusked warthog platter that rests there. The overgrown lizard breaks into a grin when he's finished it, displaying several pieces of hammerhead shark and lion head stuck between his almost dragonic teeth as he adjusts his bib, which is now a collage of tartar and troglyodyte sauce.

 

"Ho ho ho, well done" exclaims Pedro, clapping as the waiters gape in awe. "I take it that monsieur lizard enjoyed his-"

 

"For dessert" belches Wyvern, interrupting Pedro in mid-sentence and shifting in his seat lethargically. "I'd like something cold to get rid of this heat, a gnomish rocky mountain sunday maybe. And with that, could I have a large elven winter mint cake? Oh, and Tzimfemme's famed chocolate pen figurines on the side, of course!"

 

Pedro nods silently and jots down the orders.

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Venefyxatu sat quietly on a chair to recover his breath. When both his breathing and his heart (for he'd discovered that he still had a heartbeat) were back to their normal speeds he looked around.

The dome was really impressive but no match for Wyvern's appetite... he'd never seen anyone eat so much ánd order dessert! When he let his gaze wander away from the lizard and through the dome again he noticed something on one of the side tables - a bowl full of small, red berries.

Slowly, Venefyxatu got up and approached the bowl. He took a few berries and tasted them, their sour taste immediately spreading through his mouth. Yes... they were his favourite, and of exceptional quality as well!

As he stood waiting for the concert to begin and watching some of the other Pennites eat all they could think of, Venefyxatu finished the entire bowl before he realized it...

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Pedro nodded as he jotted down the orders and rushed off to fill them. With a, "meep meep", Pedro stole the Rocky Mountain sunday from a passing gnome. Pedro then rushed back into the kitchen and quickly but lovingly, created a large elven winter mint cake. It was then that he saw what was perhaps the most dangerous of orders...Tzimfemme's famed chocolate pen figurines. Deciding it's worth the risk...Pedro teleports to the location of the items in question and takes a few...though by no means all of them. Pedro exits leaving a note behind.

 

Dear Tzimfemme,

Tis I, Pedro...of the concert. I have taken a few chocolate pen figurines to fill an order...PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I promise to make some more if you desire... that or anything else you may want in return. You may even receive a backstage pass if that fits your fancy.

 

 

Hoping to live,

Pedro

 

Placing Tzimfemme's famed chocolate pen figurines on the side...Pedro magically created seconds for each meal and rushed out into the main hall to fill what would be perhaps his final orders. (I have to get on with this so I can finish in time.) Travis rushed inside noticing very little time was still remaining...along the way telling people that the concert was soon to begin and to come inside before the doors closed. Travis ran back into his dressing room and began to prepare for the main event. All the suits came inside as the main event was close at hand and eagerly took their posts. (I'm going to start it my next post. Just to give warning.)

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Travis rushed out of his dressing room in a mad dash. Along the way, a white rabbit bounced along side him singing a song in the process. "I'm late, I'm late, for very important date. No time to say hello, good-bye, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" Travis felt much the same as the audience heard a racket stirring back stage. From just the opposite side of the curtain...was heard a variety of sounds including...crash...thud...slam...clammer...bang...boom...smack! It was then that the curtain opened to find somewhat of a mess...a mess that was quickly cleaned up by the many security guards roaming the main hall. Clearing his throat...Travis brushed himself off the best he could...which wasn't much and in a bold manner began to speak.

 

Travis-"Thank you for waiting and please don't mind my attire. Now, if you'll gaze upon the exit...you'll meet a good friend of mine. He is an intelligent double door that goes by the name of Bob. Say hello, Bob."

 

Bob-"Greetings, ladies and gentlemen...along with anything else you may be. I will now act as your kind neighborhood doorman. If there is any way I can help you...please...you have but to ask." Interrupting Bob in mid sentence...Travis continued with what he was formerly saying. Bob glared back angrily as this was done, but fell in line as two security guards stared back at him.

 

Travis-"No, for the main event...I...the great and marvalous Travis...will hearby allow this concert to commense. A reminder to those who are participating in the dance contest. You may dance as a couple or a single, but the winner chosen by me or my staff...will have earned a back stage pass for all victorious parties. I would also remind you to add your name to the raffle if you have not already. If I pick your name at the concert's end...you will have earned a few geld for your troubles. Now, without furthur adieu...let the dance contest begin." Gently strumming the strings on his lyre...a beautiful sound was heard throughout the main hall. It was a slow song composed of fabulous rhythms and marvelous harmony.

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Guido squeals happily and jumps out on the floor.

 

Carefully tapping his foot until he has the beat, he then proceeds to totally ignore it by bouncing up and down rapidly.

As he bounces, he alternately frowns and points his paws at others, and smiles while pointing his paws at himself.

 

His liquid brown eyes gleam with excitment. He loves dancing, and by the laughter he always draws, others love watching him dance.

 

Soon he starts leaping and spinning wildly, still to his internal off-beat rhythm.

 

"Ya! Ya! Com'n youse bums! Dance! Dance!"

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"The Gourmet vs. Gourmand contest was supposed to take place before the concert began, miss," Bob explained to the weaving woman outside the door. "But you can still come in, the dance contest has just started, and I can slip you into the concert between songs." He opened the door a hand's-width, permitting a bit of music to escape without letting drafts in, and made inviting gestures.

 

Tzimfemme grew dizzy at the emotional spill of unfocused, goal-less dancing and merriment. "You don't understand, I'm not here for the contest. . ." What was she here for? Oh yes. . .She drew on the chocolate's collective memory and created a six-inch tall miniature of its last user in her palm. "I need to talk to him," Tzimfemme said, and Bob grew pale.

 

(Elsewhere, a sundae-less gnome lovingly unwrapped a pair of ACME Jet Rollerskates, lifting them tenderly out of the packaging, stuffing the packaging into the toes of the skates, and fitting his tiny feet into the skates. Then, unlit, he backed carefully into the cradle of a towering ACME Particle Accelerator, "Guaranteed to Launch to Speeds Faster than a Roadrunner", except that Roadrunner had been edited with paint to Roadcooker.)

 

Within the dining room, Wyvern slept atop his dessert platter, with his tail curled possessively around the elven wintermint cake and his breath melting a glacier of rocky mountain sundae. A knot of servers stood around him, arguing whether or not he was out of the competition and whether or not they could take away his plates just yet. Tzimfemme tapped one on the shoulder and showed him the figurine; he gulped and pointed a shaking hand towards the kitchen's swinging double doors. Wide-eyed and now silent, the servers watched Tzimfemme saunter over to the doors, but missed her faintly puzzled expression.

 

The doors swung open without being pushed; Tzimfemme made a mental note to have those installed at the Banquet Hall, before remembering that the Banquet Hall was years dead. Pedro hovered over a seventeen-layer stack of turtle confections, adding hazelnut slices to the bottommost caramel cluster to complete the box turtle shell.

 

"mmm. . .Yertle!"

 

Pedro yelped.

 

(Continued when the computer steadies. . )

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Wyvern groggily awakens from his slumber just as the waiters begin closing in to remove his platters from the table, sitting up and hissing defensively when he notices that his food may be in jeopardy. Hoarding his dishes to the center of the table and lashing out at any waiter that dares to touch the cuisine, the greedy lizard seats himself on the tabletop and mutters:

 

"Ssssorry about that" *yawwwwn* "Sssome musical melody must have put me to sleep."

 

The reptilian Elder perks up his head a moment to listen, pulling the bowl of Kraken chowder that he had yet to finish towards himself as he hisses:

 

"Sssay, there is some music playing in the background now, isn't there?"

 

The waiters all stare at Wyvern in disbelief, their mouths agape, until one of them bursts out:

 

"P-p-put you to sleep?! Par le Diable! That music is Travis' exquisite harp, and it is meant for dancing! Dancing!"

 

The waiter accentuates his words by breaking out into a bit of flamenco, twisting around the dining room in fluid movements and finishing off his demonstration by sweeping another of the waiters off of his feet. Wyvern nods silently as he watches this, and then hisses:

 

"I sssee... well, I'll be certain to read Travis' 'Working Out with Mind Over Matter' or whatever the heck the book was called. For now, however, I must get back to eating."

 

With that, Wyvern grins and dives into the entree that he had missed in his last eating interval, slurping up the contents of the Kraken Chowder from within the bowl in large waves and occasionally surfacing for saltine crackers. Once the soup has been emptied, the overgrown lizard sluggishly turns to the gnomish sunday, frowning upon noticing that part of it has melted and licking it up in slow movements. The lizard belches loudly once the ice cream bowl has been cleaned, spitting out a loose bolt that had somehow ended up in it as he gradually turns to the Elven Winter Mint cake. The lizard carefully cuts the beautiful pastry into slices and proceeds to eat them one at a time, his jaw motions slowing with each piece as the waiters whisper amongst themselves:

 

"Monsieur lizard has come far, do you think he will finish?"

 

"Ha! He will surely explode."

 

"I'll wager he finishes half the cake."

 

"You're on. I'll bet two dish rags and a waltz that he manages the whole meal."

 

"He's slowing down...!"

 

Wyvern sits silently for a moment as he savours the last piece of Elven Winter Mint cake, slowly turning towards the chocolate Pen figurines that represent his final course. He picks up the pennite figurines one at a time, eating them in small bites and nibbles, no longer able to take in large quantities and relishing the taste of each individual figurine. The waiters watch in awe as Wyvern devours almost every figurine in this way, until he has reached the very last one, a caramel-filled chocolate Orlan figure, at which point he briefly pauses.

 

"S-ss-ssso good" gurgles Wyvern, reaching out a trembling claw and grasping the final figurine. The waiters collectively gasp as the lizard devours half of the figurine in a single bite, backing away as he licks his lips at its taste and moves in for more. He nibbles around the edges and slurps out the caramel, opening his maw to stuff himself with the upper torso of the figure only to drop it back onto the platter. The waiters stare in awe as a silence fills the room.

 

"G-g-gooood" *burrrrrrrrp* "meeeaaal."

 

With that, Wyvern finally collapses face down onto the table unconscious, only half a figurine away from finishing his entire meal yet unable to eat another bite...

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Tzimfemme's eyes lingered on the marvelous tower of turtles, each turtle of a different species, and so painstakingly crafted that she caught herself counting the rings on the shells to determine their ages. After awhile, she started to hear Pedro's breathless apologies, "Forgive me please, senorita! His order was specific, Tzimfemme figurines, as one cook to another, I would never adulterate your signature dish by making a mere copy of it!--"

 

"Oh, no, of course not, and you wouldn't find me making such exquisite turtles either," she murmured, not taking her eyes off of them. The new awareness tugged at her though, let her know of his nervousness. "Hm?" she said, and looked at him. . .What was the problem? "Did you need more," and absently ringed the tower with a re-creation of the horrors following the tower disaster.

 

"You. . .do not mind?" Pedro dared to ask.

 

"Sharing them? Heck no, I've been trying to give them away at every Pen function since. . .awhile," replied Tzimfemme. "Just ask. I can't seem to teach the art to non-Angels of Apocalypse. It doesn't take."

 

Pedro swept his chef's hat off of his head and held it over his heart. "I should have asked the moment my eyes first saw you, senorita. . .will you favor me with some of your illustrious chocolate figurines. . .and a dance? Samba? Tango? Flamenco?"

 

Tzimfemme looked longingly back at the chocolate turtles, and then at Pedro in the midnight light. How best to break it to him that her dance skills began and ended somewhere short of disco?

Edited by Quincunx
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