Appy Posted September 15, 2003 Report Share Posted September 15, 2003 (edited) Tendrils of self reaching out touching searching looking for those meant to do the same The feeling of linking the way showing our paths humanity's destiny Union pictures of going up in energy joining All ..emotions do strange things to one's perception.. [15 september 2003, Leverkusen] Edited October 20, 2014 by Appy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Wyrd Posted September 17, 2003 Report Share Posted September 17, 2003 Hmm...I'm not sure if I like it or not. :-\ *shrugs* But I hear tendrils go well with noodles, and I'm feeling rather hungry just about now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Wyrd Posted September 17, 2003 Report Share Posted September 17, 2003 I think my problem with it is that I just don't like so many lines with so few words; at least in this case. It just seems to me like you're trying to stretch it out too much. I don't really know anything about style, but that's just my personal opinion. I wanted to make a constructive comment for a change, hope it helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayshela Posted September 18, 2003 Report Share Posted September 18, 2003 mmm i think it works. that's much the way i feel when with my best friend, actually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parmenion Posted September 18, 2003 Report Share Posted September 18, 2003 Tried to post here last night but connection failed I like the similarities portrayed between emotions and those of the interweaving undergrowth in a forest. Very well done - good comparison and thought through in a beautiful format Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appy Posted September 18, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 18, 2003 undergrowth in a forest.. now there's an image that I didn't couple with this one yet.. I like it Thanks for all comments.. I'm leaving it as it is, since that's how I felt at that moment. I can see your point Loki.. but the "stretching it" feeling is part of the poem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Wyrd Posted September 18, 2003 Report Share Posted September 18, 2003 Right, right. I like it for the first part. So I suppose it woud make sense to have it for the second part as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appy Posted September 18, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 18, 2003 Re-reading it I can see how it can work confusing for those not familiar with the terms The Way and paths.. at least not in the way I used them there. They have a divine origin, maybe that helps? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parmenion Posted September 18, 2003 Report Share Posted September 18, 2003 Lol - maybe it was your avatar while reading it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted September 18, 2003 Report Share Posted September 18, 2003 I like this Appy. Comparing this to your first few posts here, I see an marked improvement as you keep writing, and I "hear" your voice coming through more honestly and clearly. I like: ..emotions do strange things to one's perception.. That I'm tempted to use it in my 'Sig'... -Peredhil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appy Posted September 19, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 19, 2003 *Appy blushes a bit and then bows* Many thanks for your comment, and you are most welcom to 'use' that line, Peredhil, It'd be my honour even *hoping she didn't make a fool of herself again this time Appy walks off mumbling* mumble all these ppl mumble commenting mumble I hate compliments mumble glad there weren't only that mumble mumble... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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