Elvina

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Mission Impossible III This movie was better than I thought it would be, but certainly not something you need your brain switched on to watch. Even with my brain as dormant as I could make it, I was still prone to the occasional: "What? You've gotta be kidding me!", and a rare "Oh, puh-lease!" Tom Cruise was good in this role, I thought. I can't help thinking every time I watch him that no one ever uses him properly in a movie. Maybe that's just something to do with the way he acts, though, since I've yet to see a movie in which he really just looks natural. This was JJ Abramms' first feature film (the director who brought us Alias). There are some great camera angles in this film that made things more interesting for me, like when Ethan lands on the building roof and slids under the camera, which goes upsidedown to follow him down the glass and we get a great, bold geometric shot that really makes you feel the height and just look interesting. Also, the helicopter chase through the windmills was a little different, which was good. The stunt raved about in the extras - where something explodes behind Tom and he's thrown into a parked car - seemed unbelieveable to me. This is mainly due to the fact that he is thrown sideways, not forwards. Come on, people! Who get's thrown sideways when the exploding force is directly behind you?? Maggie Q was great. I wished I'd seen more of her. Her dress was fantastic. Philip Seymour Hoffman was good. I'm glad we see more of him not only as the bad guy, but as the good guy playing the bad guy, which he did well. He wasn't really a match for Ethan physically in this film, but thankfully it wasn't just about good guy and bad guy beating the daylights out of one another, or just shooting everything up. I still want to know what the Rabbit's Foot is. The hypothesis put forth only ever remained just that. I was pleasantly surprised by Keri Russell in this action role. Her first? I'm not sure. I thought she did a good job, though. I didn't think Michelle Monaghan who played Ethan's fiance was anything really special. Overall, a good switch-off-the-brain-and-watch movie if you're in an action mood, with some interesting sets, settings, twists on old chases, and camera usage. I'd give it three and a half out of five stars. Elvina

I love Christmas. Firstly, because it's the day I celebrate my Saviour's birth, and second, because there are so many great things involved in that celebrating. I'm half Danish, so our custom is to make a honking great pork roast with loads of crackling, cheesy potatoes, and gravy, and then top it off with the most glorious dessert ever invented by man. Ris a'lamande is a Danish rice pudding that's really creamy and just yummy. We put skinless almond slivers through it and only two whole ones. They're all invisible when they're put in with all that white, and the idea is to find one of the whole almonds without biting into it and breaking it. If you find a whole one (and manage to keep it like that), you get a prize of some sort (usually chocolate in my family). It's served with cherries or strawberries in syrup. *smacks lips at the mere thought* I also love the decorations and the 'smell' of Christmas, the customs, joviality and solemnity of the occasion, and the opportunity to rejoice and be with great friends and family. Yeah, so I love Christmas. ...And now I'm hungry.

Let's start narrowing things down, then, shall we? Locomotive = 10,100,000 hits (10 million, one hundred thousand)

Lol, Jesus dreaming about sex. I suppose it's possible if it wasn't really porongraphic or anything. He was physically and mentally a man after all. Choosing to go the path of God may indeed have meant leaving behind a sweetheart he could have married or something. Don't mind me, this is just my brain ticking over. This was interesting, anyway. The laughing part sounds about right for Jesus, though. It's so weird how in dreams the strangest things can happen and you'll just 'know' why they seem 'normal' in the dream (or not). Like you know you're dreaming, and that this is just 'how it is'. I like dreams, when they're good, of course.

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I don't know yet if I'll see Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan at all. If I do it probably won't be in the cinema but on DVD. As for Sacha ben Cohen's work... I must agree with you a bit on that point, Wyvern. The first I ever saw of this guy was in a class for my Cert IV in Disability Work. Out teacher used a tape of his to show the differences in the way people react when their beliefs are challenged or made fun of. It's not so bad when it's the cliche stuff that's not so important, but when it comes to our core values, people just don't shrug it off very well at all. Ali G and many of Cohen's other personas are good at doing that, and our teacher pointed out that these personas are a great way of doing it, since he can pretend ignorance in particular social mores and thus people are more tolerable of his loud talking about 'taboo' subjects or non-polite topics in polite conversation when they think he's a foreigner. I find Borat ruder than the other Cohen characters, though, and I've already heard that this movie is one of the rudest ever to come out if you can't take things with a grain of salt. Anyhoo, movie, movie, movies... I rented National Lampoon's Animal House on DVD the other day. It's a movie I watched growing up - one of my favourites. It's an oldie, starring John Belushi, Karen Allen, a really young looking Donald Sutherland, Kevin Bacon, Stephen Furst (Vir from B5, for all those B5ers out there), and a cast of less well-knowns. I was incredibly surprised to find out Bruce McGill, who I know mainly from a number of Star Trek: Voyager episodes as Captain Braxton, played D-Day, an old favourite of mine from the movie. It has some swearing (f-words) and sexual themes in some parts, but most of it is just hilarious college-orientated fun. It was co-written by Harold Ramis (Egon from Ghostbusters, for those who don't know the name - gotta love his work, both written and performed!), and was directed by John Landis. The thing that ticked me off to no end, such that if I ever bought this DVD I'd have to also hunt down an original VHS copy, is that in the new release DVD they've actually changed some of the original songs that were used during some scenes. That might not seem like much to some people, but then, you've probably never seen Animal House. In those scenes, the thing I remember most is the music, and now they've got some meaningless other songs in there? GRRR! The worst part is there's no explanation for the change in the movie extras, which I was expecting. The movie just seems wrong now in those parts, like when Bluto (Belushi) is at the lunch line and that old song "Don't Know Much" should be playing. It's such a la-de-da song it adds to the humour of the scene as Belushi stuffs his tray, pockets, and face with food. What they have there instead is some rock-sounding song that just sounds like background noise. Bring back the integral songs that are in the original! Great fun, this movie, and not as bad as I remember language and content wise, if you know where to fast forward as I intimately do. You know you've seen a movie too much when, ten years since seeing it last, you can basically recite it word for word, dialogue AND music (when the music's right!). Memorable quotes: [Watching Flounder take abuse at ROTC] Otter: He can't do that do that to our pledges. Boon: Only we can do that to our pledges. *** Dean Vernon Wormer: Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus? Greg Marmalard: Well that would be hard to say, sir. They're each outstanding in their own way. Dean Vernon Wormer: Cut the horse****, son. I've got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode. Greg Marmalard: You're talking about Delta, sir. Dean Vernon Wormer: Of course I'm talking about Delta, you TWERP! *** Bluto: See if you can guess what I am now. [puts mashed potatoes in his mouth, chews it, hits his cheeks with his fists and spits it out] Bluto: I'm a zit. Get it? *** Dean Vernon Wormer: The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me. *** Dean Vernon Wormer: Mr. Kroger: two Cs, two Ds and an F. That's a 1.2 grade average. Congratulations, Kroger. You're at the top of the Delta pledge class. Mr. Dorfman? Flounder: Hello! Dean Vernon Wormer: Zero point two... Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Hoover, president of Delta house? One point six; four C's and an F. A fine example you set! Daniel Simpson Day... HAS no grade point average. All courses incomplete. Mr. Blu - MR. BLUTARSKY... ZERO. POINT. ZERO. *** Meaner dude: If I was in your shoes, I'd be... Otter: Leaving! What a good idea. *** D-Day: War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one. Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! Otter: Germans? Boon: Forget it, he's rolling. Bluto: And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough... [waits for response and gets none.] Bluto: the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! [runs out, alone; then returns] Bluto: What happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer... Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part. Bluto: We're just the guys to do it. D-Day: Let's do it. Bluto: LET'S DO IT! *** Flounder: May I have ten thousand marbles, please? *** [None of his literature students are paying attention] Jennings: Don't write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you find Milton. Mrs. Milton found him boring too. He's a little bit long-winded, he doesn't translate very well into our generation, and his jokes are terrible. [bell rings, students rise to leave] Jennings: But that doesn't relieve you of your responsibility for this material. Now I'm waiting for reports from some of you... Listen, I'm not joking. This is my job! *** SPOILER ALERT!! [Flounder has just fired a blank cartridge near Neidermeyer's horse, and the horse has dropped dead] Bluto: Holy s**! D-Day: There were blanks in that gun! Flounder: I didn't even point the gun at him! Bluto: Holy s**! [D-Day checks the gun] D-Day: There WERE blanks in that gun! Flounder: Maybe he had a heart attack. Bluto: Holy s***! *** Flounder: I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer. Boon: Face it, Kent. You threw up *on* Dean Wormer. *** Hoover: They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal! *** Clorette De Pasto: Dad! Mom, Dad, this is Larry Kroger. The boy who molested me last month. We have to get married. *** Otter: Point of parliamentary procedure! Hoover: Don't screw around, they're serious this time! Otter: Take it easy, I'm pre-law. Boon: I thought you were pre-med. Otter: What's the difference? [Addressing the room] Otter: Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did. [winks at Dean Wormer] Otter: But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen! [Leads the Deltas out of the hearing, all humming the Star-Spangled Banner] *** Otter: Mandy, Mandy Pepperidge. I haven't seen you since we... Mandy Pepperidge: Go away! Otter: I'm sorry, I can only stay a minute. Can I buy you some lunch? Oh, you got your lunch. Well, how about some milk? Got your milk too. Can I just massage your thighs while you eat? Mandy Pepperidge: Do I have to leave? Otter: Is this any way to treat an intimate friend? *** Boon: It's not gonna be an orgy! It's a toga party. Katy: Honestly, Boon, you're twenty-one years old. In six months you're going to graduate, and tomorrow night you're going to wrap yourself in a bed sheet and pour grain alcohol all over your head. It's cute, but I think I'll pass this time. Boon: Want me to go alone? Katy: Baby, I don't want you to go at all. Boon: It's a *fraternity* party, I'm in the fraternity. How can I miss it? Katy: I'll write you a note. I'll say you're too well to attend. *** Jennings: Teaching is just a way to pay the bills until I finish my novel. Boon: How long you been workin' on it? Jennings: Four and a half years. Pinto: It must be very good. Jennings: It's a piece of s***. Would anyone like to smoke some pot? *** Neidermeyer: You're all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me twenty! *** Chip: [being spanked as part of Omega's initiation] Thank you, sir! May I have another? *** Hoover: Will you tell those ***holes to shut up? Boon: Hey! Shut up you ***holes! *** D-Day: Ramming speed! *** [Dean Wormer's plotting to get rid of Delta House] Greg Marmalard: But Delta's already on probation. Dean Vernon Wormer: They are? Well, as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION! *** Otter: Ah, she broke our date. Boon: Washing her hair? Otter: Dead mother. *** [in the supermarket vegetable section] Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Mine's bigger. Marion Wormer: [looks questioningly at him] Eric 'Otter' Stratton: My cucumber. It's bigger. Eric 'Otter' Stratton: I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you? Marion Wormer: No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous. Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Right. Sensual. That's what I meant. My name's Eric Stratton. People call me Otter. Marion Wormer: My name's Marion. People call me Mrs. Wormer. Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Oh, we have a Dean Wormer at Faber. Marion Wormer: How interesting. I have a husband named Dean Wormer at Faber. Still want to show me your cucumber? *** Eric 'Otter' Stratton: You guys up for a toga party? John 'Bluto' Blutarsky: Toga! Toga! Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Ah, I think they like the idea, Hoov. *** Greg Marmalard: Come outta there, you bastards! Eric 'Otter' Stratton: [in falsetto] Who is it? Greg Marmalard: You know damn well who it is. Eric 'Otter' Stratton: I'm sorry. You'll have to come back later. I'm doing the dishes. *** Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Greg, look at my thumb. [Gregg looks at Otter's thumb. Otter punches Gregg in the face] Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Gee, you're dumb. *** Charming guy with guitar: I gave my love a cherry / That had no stone / I gave my love a chicken / That had no bones / I gave my love a story / That had no end / I gave my... Bluto: [grabs the guitar and smashes it against the wall] Sorry. Er, sorry, that was a little more than I expected. You probably all don't even need to see it now... There are just so many great quotes from this movie! Elvina

"me" = 2.15 billion hits

Lol. Ah, this was funny. Makes me glad I haven't had the experience of a self-flushing toilet as yet. We do have now (in Australia) touch-plate flushing, which means all you have to do is press part of the wall rather than depress a button. See much difference? Neither do I... Be thankful you weren't on a squat toilet. Ever heard of those? Popular in some countries, but not mine thankfully, and I'm not even male. NO idea how males - or ANYONE for that matter - could find it comfortable doing a number one - or heaven forbid a number two in one of these >Squat Toilets< See any toilet paper? Just you try reading down the page for a few nasty surprises there... http://www.themightypen.net/public/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif Er, yeah, that was off topic, but Quincunx has given this a good going-over in Crit's Corner, so all I can say is: good work, and I thought this was very amusing and pretty well written, Curious Mylo. Elvina

turtles!

Interesting. *now wants pie*

*quietly lurks into birthday forum* Happy Birthday, Ayshela! *retreats to once more lurk the forums* Muahahaha!

Indiana (as in 'Jones')

AHH! You swallowed my words! Grr... Temple

[swallowed]

Lol! Det var meget sjov! Tak for advarselen! (Så pass var verkligen rolig! Tack själv för varningen!) I've never been to Denmark in winter, but you're experience in Sweden has just warned me - dress as if I'm visiting Antarctica! ~Elvina

foreign

learning

Ah, that gave me a good chuckle, especially Venefyxatu's take on things. Most of it was good advice, too.

irons

rabbit

Hi Lady Eve! I've started reading this, but I have to rush off to work, so I'll have to come back and finish this review later on. So far, though, I've found this very entrancing and interesting. I thought you might have introduced too many characters in the beginning there. Maybe all that introduction would be less confusing if you indispersed it with the conversation as the piece goes on. I also spotted a few sentences that were awkward, but I'll have to point them out later. Try reading this piece aloud to yourself and you should spot those places. Your world seems very rich. I liked the fact that your main character is a bard in training, but she has a gift for healing. I found myself wondering why she wouldn't want a career as a healer, which would be the more generic thing for someone with those skills to do in a fantasy world. I'm glad you didn't do that, I might add. It made me wonder just why Prestia wants to be a bard instead of a healer. I also liked how when she took her hair down her friends almost choked. That was a good way of showing us that she's beautiful. Nice work so far! ~Elvina

funny

antagonist

chemicals