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Curious Mylo

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  • Birthday 03/30/1989

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  1. I wrote this for my Advanced Theatre Arts Class. We're going to be performing in a about a month and a half, and I'm really excited about it. It is the prequel to Short on Doctors. But I haven't had the brain functionability ((if that's even a word)) to think of a good name for it, so if anyone can think of one that would be appreciated. As with Short on Doctors, there are two actors for most of the aliens. All except for #5. The voices are backstage when it's performed because the aliens are telepathic. TADAA!!! Hope you all like it as much as I do. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Characters: Alien #1: Male. He's worked for the Searching New Worlds Program for half his life and hasn't gotten a job in so long that he doesn't see a point in coming to work. Voice of Alien #1: See Above Alien #2: Female. Dumb Blonde. She's one of Alien #1's sister's friends so she's never seen Alien #1 before, but she's convinced it's love at first sight. She doesn't have a mind of her own, and she's decided to do what Alien #1 says rather than #3 or #4. Voice of Alien #2: See Above Alien #3: Female. Attached by the fingers to her twin sister #4. The less smart of the twins. Not dumb, just not as witty or obnoxious. The twins are almost always fighting. Voice of Alien #3: See Above Alien #4: Female. Attached by the fingers to her twin sister #3. Very Sarcastic and always the first to tell #3 how stupid she is. The twins are almost always fighting. Voice of Alien #4: See Above Alien #5: The Leader guy of the Alien Planet. Everyone is afraid of him. He's never on stage, it's just a voice part. Alien #6: Alien #1's sister. They're close and always do what they can to help each other. She's got a very quiet personality. Voice of Alien #6: See Above 1 extra alien to carry the sign. Scene 1 [Alien #1 is sitting at his desk being bored out of his mind when his boss' voice fills the room.] Voice of Alien #5: What, exactly, are you doing? Voice of Alien #1: Oh, uh... writing. See? Words! Voice of Alien #5: Yes, now. How long has it been since your last mission? Voice of Alien #1: I've quit counting. It got depressing. Voice of Alien #5: Well, I have a mission for you. It is a very important one and you cannot say no. If you fail me, you will be released of your duties and cannot return to us. Voice of Alien #1: Of... Of course. What am I to do for you? Voice of Alien #5: You are to go observe Earth and see how close we are to being able to take over. I would like you to take notes on how quick you think it will be and how long the transition is looking to take. And get your crew ready by sun down so you can leave before light. Voice of Alien #1: Uhm...okay... Voice of Alien #5: Get working. NOW! Voice of Alien #1: Working! (#1 sits at his desk and starts working on the list. An alien walks halfway across the stage and holds up a 2 hours later sign.) Voice of Alien #1: Finished!! (First call) Hello, I'm on the... oh... you heard. Yes, I was wondering... oh. You're busy. That's okay. Thank you for your time. (Second Call) Hello. I'm on the mission to Earth and I was...hello? Hello? (Third Call) Hello. I'm on the mission to Earth. Yes, I'll hold. (sings I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts) Oh! Heh, yes, I'm here. Oh, your wife won't let you. No, it's okay. Goodbye. Scene 2 [Alien #1 is at his sister's house.] Voice of Alien #1: This is so messed up. I'm on the most dangerous mission in history, and I don't have a crew. No one will go. I don't even want to go. But... I have to. And... one guy hung up on me. Voice of Alien #6: You have to? Voice of Alien #1: I'll “be released” Voice of Alien #6: If it's that big a deal to you, I know some people that are actually really interested in Earth and would go. Voice of Alien #1: Are you serious? Voice of Alien #6: Absolutely. Voice of Alien #1: Thank you so much!! Just one moment. (pulls out his phone) Yes, I've got the crew. We'll be ready before light. Scene 3 [Alien #1 is waiting outside the spaceship when Aliens #2 #3 and #4 enter] Voice of Alien #3: Hello? Voice of Alien #1: Hello. Who are you? Voice of Alien #2: We're your crew and I’m gorgeous, right? Voice of Alien #1: Uhh, yyyyeah... about that. You're what? Voice of Alien #3: Your crew. Voice of Alien #4: Duh. Voice of Alien #1: My sister sent... you? Voice of Alien #4: Is there something wrong with that? Voice of Alien #1: You're just... not what I expected. You're... Voice of Alien #2: Actually pretty? Voice of Alien #4: Too tall? Voice of Alien #3: What? Voice of Alien #1: Forget it, if we're going to go let’s just go. Voice of Alien #4: Whatever... Scene 4 [They're flying over Vegas] Voice of Alien #3: Oh my holy wow! It's a distress signal!! Voice of Alien #4: No it's not you moron, it's definitely an Alien Detector Device and we need to leave. Voice of Alien #1: Do you have to fight all the time? Voice of Aliens #3 and #4: Yes. Voice of Alien #3: But I'm sure that they wouldn't have a problem with us. I'm sure it means they need our help. Voice of Alien #1: How are you so sure it means anything at all? Voice of Alien #4: Lights always mean something. Voice of Alien #2: What's this? Voice of Alien #3: That's Shoe Polish. Voice of Alien #2: Really? Voice of Alien #4: Yes. Voice of Alien #2: Wow!! (Begins polishing her shoes) Voice of Alien #4: These lights definitely mean that we're about to be human food. Voice of Alien #3: No, humans don't eat aliens... Voice of Alien #4: They do too! Voice of Alien #2: Really? Voice of Alien #3: No! Voice of Alien #4: Yes! Voice of Alien #3: No! Voice of Alien #4: Yes! Voice of Alien #3: No! Voice of Alien #4: Yes! Voice of Alien #1: NO! If those lights really do mean something, it's more likely to be announcing that the whole city is out of toilet paper. Not help. Not an alien detector device. Okay? Voice of Alien #3: Uhh... Voice of Alien #4: I don't think so. Why would they announce something like that? Voice of Alien #3: Why would they announce they were going to kill us. If they wanted us dead they wouldn't want us to KNOW it. Voice of Alien #4: How do you know? Voice of Alien #3: Because they're MUCH more likely to announce that they need help. (Alien #2 runs over to show Alien #1 that her shoes are shiny and sits on the control panel.) Voice of Alien #2: Do you like? They’re GORGEOUS!! And shiny. And look! You can even see yourself in them. Isn’t that great considering how great you look. (Alien #3 pushes her off the control panel and there’s an electrical failure sound thingy.) Voice of Alien #3: What is wrong with you? Voice of Alien #4: Do you even have a brain? Voice of Alien #3: You sat on the control panel and hit who knows what buttons! Voice of Alien #4: In who knows what order! Voice of Alien #1: Just fix it. And… heh… your shoes are quite shiny. Ugh! No! Let me fix this! (Alien #1 starts trying to fix the problem when the lights go out) Voice of Alien #4: What was that? Voice of Alien #3: The lights went out! Voice of Alien #4: Duh, even the blonde knew that. Voice of Alien #2: Hey! Well, actually I did thank you very much. Voice of Alien #3: What does this button do? Voice of Alien #1: Don’t. Push. Any. Buttons. Voice of Alien #4: Too late! Voice of Alien #3: Don’t push that one! Voice of Alien #4: Too late! Voice of Alien #1: What did you push?! Voice of Alien #2: Ooh! This one looks pretty! Voice of Aliens #1 #3 and #4: NO! (Alien #2 pushes the button) [The lights come on] Voice of Alien #2: Oo! Lights! Voice of Alien #1: Okay, move. Let me fix this. Voice of Alien #3 and #4: NO! Voice of Alien #3: You broke the lights in the first place. Voice of Alien #4: Let us. Voice of Alien #3: We’re professionals. (Alien #2 drags Alien #1 off to the side and shows off her shiny shoes and stuff Alien #3 gets on the ground under the control thingy and starts pulling wires while #4 pushes buttons) Voice of Alien #3: So. I pull this, you push the red one, I flick that one and you switch the green thingy. That should do it. Voice of Alien #4: I don’t think so! (gets on the ground next to her) Because I switch these and then you go up and push the blue triangle while I move that one and then you switch the green thingy. Voice of Alien #3: NO! That’s insane! Voice of Alien #4: No you’re insane! Voice of Alien #3: You’re insaner. Voice of Alien #1: Hey! What are you two doing? I said fix it. Voice of Aliens #3 and #4: Fine! (They get up and start pushing buttons and fighting over which to push. The lights start to flicker and they speed up with the button pushing and louder about the fighting.) Voice of Alien #2: Hey! My shoes look even better in flickery lights! [The lights go out and the ship crashes.] THE END!
  2. I opened the thread to post the stories here.
  3. For those who are playing the game from the "a game idea" thread in the Cabaret Room, here is where to post your stories.
  4. Sure! Ozy did pick it, he just didn't have time to post about it. But that's just fine. You can both have the same number.
  5. Yeah, My head hurt and I couldn't remember where to put it or how to do the link thingy. So I was going to do all that once I had taken a nap and my mommie's head didn't hurt enough that she could help me with it. -Zool- That is so excellent!! And it's even got the cheesy happy ending. ^.^ I really like how you made the story about the broom, but included the other items in the kitchen.
  6. Have you ever fought with a bunny over skittles? Have you ever lost your keys in your cleavage?
  7. I'll be accepting signups through Sunday Night. Monday I'll send out the objects and open the thread for the stories. And no, as requested there will be no deadlines for this. Just post them when you're finished. Mynx-- Would you mind picking my number for me?
  8. It took me quite a while to get this revised, but I like it Thank you again Quincunx for your help. Why Self Flushing Toilets are Evil Impatiently standing in line, I crossed my legs and waited for a stall. When it was finally my turn, I opened the door and stood face-to-toilet seat with it. A self flushing toilet. It was a new experience and I was excited! I sat down and while I was doing my business I reached for the toilet paper and it happened. It flushed while I was half done doing the do. Just what I needed, a huge splash on my backside. Needless to say, I was NOT impressed. The worst part was that after I was finished I had to stand there and wait for it to flush. I cannot walk away from an unflushed toilet, and this one was not flushing. To exceed normal evilness, this one had no little button to press. Self flushing toilets like this one are taking over public bathrooms everywhere; are they such a good idea? Throughout the malls and public bathrooms of America, laziness is being both taught and encouraged. People are forgetting to reach down and flush non-self flushing toilets. Which many public bathrooms still have. In that case, the whole self flushing idea is not lowering the chances of being left a little present. It is greatly increasing it! If people would remember that not every toilet is self flushing, they would remember to not leave little floaty presents for the next person in line. Germs and bacteria on toilet flushing handles may be a concern, but using common sense could kill that idea and the germs very easily. Washing your hands is a smart plan whether or not the toilet flushes for you. The toilet paper in public bathrooms is see through sandpaper and will not protect your hands from unwanted germs. If touching the handle bothers you that much, try kicking it. The bottom of your shoe isn’t all that sterile, anyway. You could also use your hand inside a sleeve or use a little extra toilet paper between your hand and the handle. Bacteria and germs do attach themselves to toilets, but that is why the sink was invented and placed conveniently in front of your face when you walk out of the stall. Things tend to fall out of pockets at the worst time and find themselves floating, or sinking to the bottom, in toilets. Even with how disgusting it is, sometimes you need to reach in and grab it (which is where the whole hand washing idea is brilliant). This is only an option if the toilet doesn't decide to flush while you're pushing up your sleeve. How sweet. Whatever was important enough to reach in for is gone to the sewer fishies. Self Flushing toilets are not only disgusting, but they are also backside splashing, inconsiderate thieves. Slowly, I am seeing more and more self flushing toilets infect public bathrooms all over the country. Their sensors work when they shouldn’t and refuse to work when they should. Reaching down and flushing the toilet takes much less time than waiting for its sensor to cooperate. The momentary overactive sensor has single handedly invented WTS (Wet Tush Syndrome). Returning to non-possessed toilets would abolish WTS and shorten public bathroom lines all over the country. THE END!
  9. 1. adjective - Shiny 2. verb - Square Dance 3. noun - Fish 4. body part - Left Ear 5. verb - Attack 6. body part - Knee Cap 7. emotion - Flabbergasted 8. adjective - Fluffy 9. noun - Brush 10. noun - Ear Plugs 11. pronoun - She 12. emotion - Content 13. adjective - Smelly 14. adjective - Heavy 15. body part - Right Eye 16. verb - Distort 17. noun - Mint Flavored Floss 18. verb - Amputate 19. body part - Toe Nail 20. emotion - Giddy 21. verb - Launch
  10. Cool, people want to play! I'll leave the sign up open for a while before I pm out the objects and then open a game thread. Zool -- As Ayshela said, the numbers do not mean that only 12 people can play. The objects can be picked twice, because people will obviously go different ways with the stories. Tanuchan -- A poem? I hadn't thought of that but of course! If you can make it work as a poem, that would definitely be fun read.
  11. TeeHee!! That's the most brilliant tomb stone ever!! I can see it now: "Death by frozen butter."
  12. Have you ever argued with a bunny for a half hour before realizing that they weren't really saying anything? Have you ever used a kitty's stummy as a pillow while they purred you to sleep? Have you ever painted your nails 10 different flavors of jelly belly jelly beans? Have you ever randomly started laughing in the middle of a serious discussion about something said the day before? Have you ever unconsciously started humming The Entertainer at the most depressing part of Titanic?
  13. I had an idea today for an object game that I think would be a lot of fun to play if people were interested. Basically, people pick a number from one to twelve, and I'll PM them their object. It will be a common, everyday object, and your job is to write a short story about it. I suggest including things like naming the item, creating its history, its purpose and how it's used, what's special about it, strange characteristics, things like that. There will be a lot of variation in story, because some people may want to make their object magical, or mechanical, or have a long and important history, or maybe it's just an ordinary item that's special to someone for personal reasons. Whatever you decide your item is, write its story. I'll be playing too. I'll have someone pick a number for me. Anyone else want to play?
  14. I wrote this play for my Theatre class.. It was performed in the One Acts and we had a lot of fun with it. The only thing that I don't have in here that I added to the actors' scripts are small stage directions, but I leave those out to begin with on purpose so they can do it first however they see it. I hope you enjoy it! Short on Doctors Plot: A ship of midget aliens crashes on Earth and they have to find morphine to fuel their ship to go home. They decide to take over the local hospital to get it. In the process they kill all the doctors and nurses and kidnap two girls. Characters: The Aliens don't talk because they talk with their minds. So they don't need names and they chew gum constantly instead of eating. There are two actors for each alien character. Alien #1: Male Midget Alien. Leader. Voice of Alien #1: See Above. Alien #2: Female Midget Alien. Extremely clingy to Alien #1. Extremely dumb and doesn't talk much. She just follows around Alien #1 and does what he thinks her to. Voice of Alien #2. See Above. Aliens #3 and #4: Female Twins that are attached at the fingertips. They're always fighting and are afraid of humans. Voices of Aliens #3 and #4 See Above. Rachel: 17. They don't know what's wrong with her yet because she just got to the hospital so she sleeps all the time except for her random outbursts where she screams names of vegetables and tries to kill whoever's closest to her. Megan: 16. She's also new to the hospital and is doesn't know how to not talk. She can't eat because that requires that she stops talking. Scene 1 (Aliens #3 and #4 enter) Voice of Alien # 3: GET OFF ME!!! Voice of Alien #4: I didn't touch you!! Well, I did, but I didn't... you know what I mean. Voice of Alien #3: You're on my tail! GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF!! (Aliens #1 and #2 enter) Voice of Alien #1: SILENCE!! Has anyone seen the extra morphine? The ship is fine except the fuel tank had to be taped back together. Voice of Alien #2: And you did a wonderful job with the tape. Voice of Alien #3: What does the morphine look like again? Voice of Alien #4: It's the huge purple thing you moron. Voice of Alien #3: That's morphine? Voice of Alien #2: You said that was shoe polish!! Voice of Alien #1: You said that was WHAT? Voice of Alien #4: AHAHAHAHA!! You're so dumb!! Voice of Alien #3: Uhh, oops. I'll... go find some I guess. Voice of Alien #4: You are not! I don't want to go! Voice of Alien #1: You're going alright. Be back here in 60 Earth minutes or I'll attach you two by the eyelashes, too! Voices of Aliens #3 and #4: AHH! WE'RE GOING!!! (Aliens #3 and #4 walk offstage then slowly walk back on) Voice of Alien #3: Where do humans keep their morphine? Voice of Alien #1: If you want something done right you have to do it yourself. You bloody fools, follow me. (All Aliens exit) Scene 2 (Rachel is asleep while Megan is talking ) Megan: One day, I really want to lick my elbow. I mean, seriously, they tell you it's impossible, but one day I'll do it. You just wait and see. I'll be famous for it. OH! And I also want to make a dress out of saran wrap. Don't worry, it'll be the coloured kind and a lot of layers. And if that's STILL see through, I'll wear a bikini under it or something. Ha, you think I'm dumb enough to wear only that?! That would be, well, dumb. It would be kinda fun to make a dress out of caution tape. Or maybe the crime scene tape. I'm not sure. I guess whichever I find first would work. I've also decided that I want to answer a pay phone. Not like, someone getting the number and standing next to me and calling it. I mean, imagine this. You're walking down the street and a pay phone randomly rings. Do you answer it? It could be some creepy stalker guy that wants to kill you. Or it could be some old guy calling to get his medication from the drug store down the street but he called the wrong number. Or it could be some guy trying to call the pizza making placey thingy. You never know. But I'll be the one who picks it up. Just watch. Rachel: RADISH!!! (Jumps up and tries to attack Megan who runs away so they run around in circles. ) Megan: (screaming while she runs) I also want to be able to win in a staring contest against a cat. They always win! I swear they cheat though. I don't know how but one day I will find out. Those demon kitties!!! (All the Aliens enter upstage of Megan and Rachel and look in the window and watch. They “talk” to each other and exit) Megan: I swear, my kitty is out to kill me!! (Rachel collapses and falls asleep on the ground. Megan sits next to her and starts talking to her more.) Megan: One day, I was cleaning and I was looking under her pillow and she had a knife under there. I didn't put it there! I swear I didn't!! It just was magically there. She's a genius. She really is. I just know that one day she will kill me. OH! I've decided that I'm going to write a whole essay on toilet paper. Once I get back to school I'll just turn in a roll of toilet paper with my essay on it. It'll be great! You know, now that you mention it I really have to pee. I'll be right back. DON'T MOVE!!! I swear, I'll be back. (begins slowly backing off stage) I will, don't you worry. Just stay there. I promise I'll be back!! Don't miss me too much!! (runs off stage) Scene 3 [Megan is still in the bathroom and the Aliens all enter from killing the Doctors and Nurses] Voice of Alien #3: There's a girl in here!! Voice of Alien #4: Maybe she knows where the morphine is. Voice of Alien #3: I was going to think that!! Voice of Alien #4: Well I thought it first so HA! I win! Voice of Alien #3: Just you wait, next time I'll think faster than it takes you to even think about thinking it. Voice of Alien #4: Yeah right, you couldn't think that fast if you were paid. Voice of Alien #3: I could if I were paid a lot! Voice of Alien #1: Tell me 11 people who would consider paying you for something like that and I'll believe it. Now hurry, see if she knows anything. Voice of Alien #2: Hello? Morphine? Helloooo? Rachel: BROCCOLI!!! (Attacks Alien #2) Voice of Alien #2: AHHHHH! GET IT OFF ME!! GET IT OFF ME!! Rachel: BROCCOLI!!! (passes out on top of #2) Voice of Alien #2: Are all humans like that?? Voice of Alien #3: Yes. Voice of Alien #4: No. Voice of Alien #3: Yes they are. I know. Voice of Alien #4: How do you know this? Voice of Alien #3: I'm smart, and I just know it. Voice of Alien #4: Riiiight, just how you knew the morphine was shoe polish? Voice of Alien #2: It worked pretty well, see? (Megan enters still talking) Megan: See? I told you I'd be back. Hi! I'm Megan! Who are you? I'm Megan, did I already say that? Well, even if I did I just said it again. So yeah, who are you? Voice of Alien #1: We are from another planet and we need morphine. Now. Megan: Rachel, did you hear that? Voice of Alien #1: By now, I mean right NOW. Megan: AHH! Your lips aren't moving but you're still talking... AHHH! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! (runs in circles screaming) Voice of Alien #3: Told you all humans are insane. Voice of Alien #4: Fine, you win this time. Voice of Alien #3: I know I do. Hey, what does this button do? Megan: NO! DON'T TOUCH THAT!!! The doctor gets angry when I do... or... did. Voice of Alien #4: Push it. Push it!! PUSH IT!! (chanting.) Voice of Alien #1: Maybe it will give us morphine. Megan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (collapses.) (The button beeps and nothing happens) Voice of Alien #1: Huh, well that’s disappointing. (To Megan.) You will show us to the morphine. Megan: I don't know where it is. I've never even heard of morphine before. Is it a blanket? Is it a comfy one? Because that's just no fair if they have comfy blankets and they just gave me that one. It's terrible!!! Voice of Alien #1: SILENCE!! Show us to the morphine. Now. Megan: I'm not leaving without Rachel. While she tries to kill me and thinks I'm all different kinds of vegetables and stuff, she is a very good listener and I can't leave her behind. Voice of Alien #1: So she comes with us. Lets go. (Alien #1 grabs Megan's arm and pulls her off stage. Alien #2, #3, and #4 all drag Rachel off stage behind them.) Scene 4 Megan: I just simply have no clue where to look for comfy blankets. I mean, they only gave me bad ones. Where to look for bad ones even, I have no clue! Voice of Alien #1: Look for them you fool. We're running out of time. Megan: I'll try, but I can't look by myself. That would be silly! Voice of Alien #1: Go look with her. We'll wait here. (Alien #2 and Megan walk off stage) Alien #3: So what do we do with this one? She's kind of boring. Voice of Alien #4: She's kind of lumpy, too. Voice of Alien #3: Not really lumpy, just ... okay yeah lumpy. Voice of Alien #1: Stop it and sit. Just wait. They'll be back soon. [Awkward silence] Rachel: TURNIP! (tries to attack #3) Voice of Alien #3: RUN!!!! (Rachel chases Alien #3 and #4 around the stage until she passes out again. Right after she passes out Alien #2 and Megan return carrying a few blankets) Megan: This was the best I could find. Will this work? Voice of Alien #1: This is not morphine you moron! Morphine is fuel! Fuel does not come like this!! You're useless!! Leave us! Megan: I'm... I'm what? Voice of Alien #3: He said useless. Voice of Alien #4: Duh. Megan: Useless? Me? Useless? I'll show you how useless I am! Lets go! I'll show you where the best morphine is!! Come on! (They all exit following Megan) Scene 5 Megan: Is this morphine? What about this? Hmm, this has to be!! Voice of Alien #1: No. No. No! NO! NO!!! This is pointless!! Megan: No it isn't! I'll find it!! Lets look in here! (Opens the door to the room the aliens put all the dead bodies.) AHH! Are they... dead? Voice of Alien #3: They're still here? Voice of Alien #4: We thought for sure after this long they would have melted!! Voice of Alien #3: I guess humans take longer to melt than we do. Megan: Melt? Since when do we melt? I don't want to melt! Don't melt me! Please?! I don't want to meeeeeeeelt!! (Grabs Rachel and starts dragging her off stage.) I won't let you melt us! Rachel's been too good to me to deserve to melt into a little puddle of Rachel Goo! While she would be a beautiful puddle of Rachel Goo I like her too much like this! Rachel: CELERY!!! (Gets up and begins chasing Megan off stage.) Megan: SEE! She's definitely in track! Voice of Alien #3: How are we going to find the morphine now? Voice of Alien #4: We aren't, doofus! Voice of Alien #3: What? Voice of Alien #1: She's right. We're done for. Voice of Alien #3: What? Voice of Alien #1: We've lost all hope. Voice of Alien #3: What? Voice of Alien #4: What are you, broken? Voice of Alien #1: Leave me be. I need to be alone. (All aliens exit, except for Alien #1) Voice of Alien #1: I've failed you. I could not find the morphine to get our ship powered to get us home. I'll never forgive myself. We may be discovered and what will these Earth people say? We're too different. We're... faiiiiiilures. (Starts crying) THE END!!
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