Parmenion

Well I already said this via IRC about this poem and its stands - thats eactly how I feel (and I just have to post it since its a public view too)... * Parm^idle stands awkwardly with jaw hanging open * Parm^idle is speechless wow I mean this seriously hun, that is most definitely as good as anything any of the would-be greats has written that I have ever read what did i do now? you did something that generally doesnt happen you surprised me =) lol thats an absolute classic with which one? it has perfect rythym and such an endearing story! um they different ones? oh lol lol yes i clicked the last one ahh the grieving The grieving yes In short I think this is just one of the most truly amazing and touching pieces I have ever had the privelage to read. Thank you Sorciere for a peek at genius

for some reason all the teenagers think this is the cool way to talk here now including my poor little sister *sniff*, maybe if I make her read this she'll see how silly she sounds. Nice work

Hugs are great aren't they

Monkeys can talk? <_< I enjoyed this, ty for sharing!

Touché Jechum, touché

Rofllmao!!!!! I just had to read that again and again! It is soooo easy to read and funny to boot! Another little stroke of genius

Touché

Charming work Psimon - ever think of cracking the fairytales to poetry market? Excellent stuff man!

Loved this!

Aw! /me wipes a tear from his eye. Lovely story hun *hugs*

/me grabs a tissue *sniff* too sad for me, I wants happy stuff! :woot:

That was quite simply beautiful!! What a perfect little nursery rhyme!! Psimon shines yet again

Bravo! I do enjoy a good "Red Rum" poem

Simply genius. I loved the split image. Such a unique idea and very well written to boot - what more can you ask of a poem? In this instance - not a thing. Bravo hun!!

I found this style of writing very refreshing! *Hugs* This was definitely my favourite of the week!!

/me scampers off to think of a retort poem Glad someone wrote about the other side. Nice job and...touché

Bravo! Randomness - don't ya just love it!! Yay!

Purrfect sense

I liked this - I think you tackled the subject nicely. There are many many old adages that can be used about what actually constitutes being rich or wealthy. Some of which a monetarily rich person may rebuke as being the poor man's way of setting his mind at ease for not having that which he may crave. Yet still it remains that such matters are best discussed with a dash of humour (mental note for self), much like you have so eloquently done. Bravo

I like the way you personified death in an Adonis-like grim-reaper fashion. Very clever!

Yup it could easily have been written for any religion or political system. I chose the slant before the subject if you get me. Historical religion (all kinds) is an interest of mine as is history itself. I'm sure I could put a few more of these together regarding other systems but I think 1 every 6 months or so is more than enough controversy. /me steps out of controversial limelight for a while. Thank you to everyone who read and shared their views on this it is much appreciated.

As I said, I wrote this only taking in one aspect of it in mind Gyrfalcon, much as people who lose love write only about the terrible hurt they feel in the heat of the moment - they tend to pick a slant. People talk on the good points of religion quite a lot and as you pointed out there is a lot of good done also which I mentioned in my previous post. I just decided to take a slant less talked about and write about that. Point taken Zool regarding the BEFORE warning to peeps, I am new to these forums and still not quite sure how they work so forgive my ignorance in the regard. I knew when constructing it that it may be conceived as controversial but the idea behind it was to get people to ask questions and to think. I've posted several poems in this forum to date and this appears to be the most popular/notorious as I predicted it would be. Does it not strike people as interesting how something written against the grain evokes more general interest than simply another love poem? Why is that? That was if you wish a testing experiment as to the idealogies present in this forum. If I do think of posting something something controversial at any future date - I'll make sure to include the warning at the start, you have my word on that.

I think it was very nice of squashi to post the review and tips - I need them myself and am glad when people post. However, reading the poem without the eye of a critic, I found it to be most enjoyable as is...gah!...I just noticed that you changed it!! Well I like the story whatever way you finally decide it sounds in poem version.

This is just one side to it amplified, it has many other sides some of which are very helpful to people. I picked a side to write about from an aloof viewpoint that is rarely discussed. *Disclaimer to any Christians who may be offended, that is not the intention at all*

A moon and a sun, A worshipping man, An Order, disciples, A golden ram. Execution of others, Not of the same, An ark with a drunkard, Who saved those that came. An emperor, a leader, A spreading wave, A man who was dead, Removed from his grave. A crusade for a land, A jihad that was sworn, Two decimated peoples, War tired and torn. An inquisition of thinkers, Burning books, causing strife, In a moment in history, When disease was rife. A collar, a priest, A whimpering boy, A milky face, A grunt of joy. A controlling power, A force to these days, A changing of thoughts, Their secrets portrayed. A rape of our justice, Their hands were in all, The ruining of lives, How had they the gall?