Cerulean

*Raises a glass to the weirdo psycho nut in us all. * Long may you continue to be a madcap muse to the rest of us Mr Finnius! *hugs and hickorydickories* C.

Hey Mardrax, This poem has been poking away at the corner of my subconscious for days now. There was something about your juxtaposition of images that really struck me. Like Wyv I was taken by the unexpected twist, but rev's replies and your responses to them gave me a half memory of another piece I'd seen a while ago. Finally today, rereading your thread, I've remembered what it evokes for me - it's a short story by Oscar Wilde called The Nightingale and the Rose. I love it when one work leads me to another. Thanks for both your thoughts and the thoughts that spiralled from them. Best wishes, and sorry for rambling, C.

Hi, I love the word flomping! This was a fun, original piece, thanks for posting. C.

I'll definitely second Ayshela's comments here. I like the construction of the constriction too! Great job. C.

Oud based perfumes hanging in hot, wet air.

Bukra fil mishmish I dreamt that through the strafe and buzzing flies a man emerges, promises in hand. He drops them on dull faces, soft as lies, they shimmer with the lure of contraband. I see his sinning sink, as terms are sown to form a carpet. He strolls, unafraid. Each step he takes announces cracking bone, til bones and flesh with words, are overlaid. But every rotting child who starved for bread, each dead-eyed woman, whoring for a meal will leave a bloody imprint in my head, to match the one he’s polished from his heel. Impassively, he lines his speech with sorrow, reminding us of apricots, tomorrow. ______________________________________ Originally posted in The Writer's Workshop Here

Thanks everyone for the kind words, much appreciated. *hugs to all* Can I ask for an opinion please, now a bit of time has passed and I can look at this without feeling so sad. How would it be if I replaced 'Shade' with 'Keep'? I'd originally written keep as an internal rhyme, but changed it to shade because I preferred the sense over the sound. Now I am wavering. Thanks in advance, C. Pluck danderdandled hearts out of my sleeve, leave shadows of your silky sprawl awake beneath each fluttering breath of sleep. Keep memory’s susurrations from the dust, and let the silence soften, as it must.

Packing up I left you lying on the bed in Sharon's flat. Boxed tight. My choice. But as I hauled that ridiculous suitcase down each polished marble step towards the glass lift and truly tried to sift the good things from the crap, I watched my mirrored self a thousand times descend. The airport - ten minutes' drive, billboard blurs and smiling lies. I stuck two fingers up at the Marlboro man and craved you with ferocity, future atrocities forgiven. Senses riven by my misremembered taste of you. It's three years now, but every now and then when I am least expecting it a sudden tear in my fabric of control reminds me. Leaving you left me a hole. I smell you with my coffee, recall how you felt against my lips. You were a cancer, that's too high a cost. I flip my idle zippo and ponder what it was I really lost. __________________________________________________________ Originally posted as part of 'After the fall' here in The Writer's Workshop

Hmm - interesting question... Cerulean, ever the romantic, would rescue: The painted wooden horse my fiancé gave to me on our first date.My battered and dog-eared copy of 'Poetry 1900 to 1975' edited by George MacBeth. This was the first book of poetry I owned and it's travelled in my backpack everywhere that I have.A pine cone I picked up on a long walk, following the news that DD, my cat had died. I've treasured it ever since, for no good reason.Scarlett, in adherence with her hedonistic principles would probably grab: The one pair of girly girl shoes I have ever owned: strappy, sequinny, heels to end all heels and small print on the soles advising that these items are not meant to walk in! The bottle of bubbly from the fridgeOur luscious, scrunchy duvet - to wind herself up in while waiting for the emergency services. Being of eradication extraction, Ms O'Harpy does not enjoy the cold.I, being the more practical point of the triangle, would take my laptop, my mobile and a folder containing reference and policy numbers for all utilities, insurance, banking and other service providers. Boring I know.

Snapshots are great - this feels more charged to me, because of its economy. Thanks for posting, always a delight to read your thoughts. *hugs* C.

Hey CM I think the revision works really well, that verse is much more fluid now. *wild applause* C.

Hey Wyvie, When I stand back from this, like an impressionist painting, I get far more. As soon as I zoom in to a closer reading, the detail defeats me. Loved the whole, specially on an auditory level. Would love to hear you read this! Thanks for a cool, provocative poem. C.

Hey Ozy, I think you captured exactly that emptiness you feel when there's noone to share the experience with. I wonder though if you needed the last line to be so explicit? To me the longing, the loss resounded through the other lines. Not sure what to suggest instead, just something lighter? Thanks muchly for sharing this, really enjoyed it - post more please! *huggles* C.

Don't know much about computers, have no clue to what's gone wrong but can offer hugs and sympathy til someone helpful comes along! Sorry to hear about your trauma - am crossing everything for you. C.

Hi Phoenix, I think this poem's definitely worth a bump! It's a well-crafted piece that I really enjoyed reading. I particularly liked your deft word choices like 'ground-pounders', which gave freshness to a familiar topic. You have a brevity of expression that enhances the imagery and a feel for rhythm which eases the reader through the enjambed lines. Lovely and lyrical, thanks for sharing. C.

Hi Curious, I enjoyed reading this, you've obviously put a great deal of thought into the structure of the piece, which is nice to see. If I had to pick a line that worked less well for me than the others, it would be: "It tried to deceive" since this feels more rhyme driven and doesn't fit as snugly into the poem as other lines. Overall, I liked the anonymous threat that the poem conveyed, with its sense of persistence and menace. Thanks for sharing this, I look forward to seeing where you take it as you revise. C.

For Doctor Dog, who loved pencils. Pluck danderdandled hearts out of my sleeve, leave shadows of your silky sprawl awake beneath each fluttering breath of sleep. Shade memory’s susurrations from the dust, and let the silence soften, as it must. .

*Cerulean slips a couple of worried-looking small and fluffies into the pockets of her robes, before wishing Canid a spectacularly Happy Birthday. Scarlett, attracted by the promise of a warm lunch, attaches a rabbit-hide bib to her chest and clacks out Happy Birthday on her teeth.* Have a great day Canid!

Philatery - praising someone's stamp collection

Some of those are hilarious I especially liked the notion of Pegasi purifying Thanks for all your hard work in putting them together! Cerulean.

Have you ever read 'The Lesson' by Roger McGough? *smirks*

Cracking stuff Arashi! My swash was truly buckled. In fact I may need to lie down now. Cerulean sips some iced tea and fans herself vaguely with a purloined lettuce leaf. Keep posting - I'm enjoying your work. Thank you for sharing.

I'll start the ball rolling Clappuccino: Delighted that your coffee has finally arrived.

This is a fun game of neologising to mangle your mental muscles! Here's the official version: 'The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and then supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners.... 1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. 6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off these bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 13. Glibido: All talk and no action. 14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. And the pick of the literature: 18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.' *I think these are brilliant - and propose we add our own to the list!* :woot:

I thought this was great - beautiful details and many vivid lines. Yesterday catches up with me Swallowed and handed over To the thoughts of long forgotten dreams This was my favourite section *wild applause* Today I'm here Overtaken and caught up with By dreams that miss the power to come true In this section I'd cut either 'by' or 'with' I'm guessing this is a typo, a revenant of editing. Dream and reality Held together and scattered By yesterday and today that take away tomorrow's force I find the bolded section of the last line less elegant than the others. The reading feels bumpier here. Time and thoughts Intwined and surrounded By the feelings that claim my heart Is intwined an archaic form, a neologism or a mistype of entwined? I kinda liked it in any case. Thanks for sharing this work, it was a very enjoyable read. (How I'd love an audio link to hear it in Dutch too... *poke* )